- 11:15 PM
- 07/02/25
The Ballad of Ace Bailey
Wanted to play for the Wizards (?)
Wanted to play for the Nets (?)
Wanted to play for the Pelicans (?)
Dissed the Sixers (?)
Told top 5 lottery teams not to draft him.
He'll be welcomed by Jazz fans with the same open arms as Kobe, Nowitzki and Rodman were. Someone will send him a house special from the Michael Jordan Pizzeria.
When the Jazz go on the road, he'll be playing for one of the most hated teams in the league.
When he eventually leaves the team to go elsewhere, he'll be hollered at mercilessly on his return to SLC.
The fun never stops.
posted by beaverboard at 10:45 AM on June 27, 2025
Mary Poppins coverage of the NBA Draft:
Cooperdallasflaggballisticdukeapotheosis
posted by beaverboard at 12:19 PM on June 26, 2025
White Sox fans have an extra gear.
So do White Sox owners.
First of all, the asshole Sox fan who taunted Marte should be identified, the same way that shirtless Sox fans William Ligue and his 15 year old son were identified when they came out of the stands at Comiskey and attacked Royals 1B coach Tom Gamboa in 2002, causing permanent hearing loss.
The taunter of Marte deserves the same team scrum that enveloped the Ligues. Send the players up into the stands. No problem. Frontier park, frontier justice.
The thing that got me about the Ligues was that when they were shown being hauled off by the cops, they didn't show any signs of real extreme damage. Yet I'm sure that at least some of the Royals players were wearing spikes that day.
Not to be outdone by the unruly stooges in the stands, Sox owner Bill Veeck and his son staged the infamous Disc Destruction Night at Comiskey in 1979. They just wanted to bring in a few extra fans with a simple gimmick to plump the paid gate a bit. And what would the Veecks be known for if not their zany promotional gimmicks?
Instead, over 50,000 people showed up to watch a pile of disco records get blown up on the field in between games of a double header. The Sox lost the first game to the Tigers and had to forfeit the second game when the fans stormed and wrecked the field and had to be dispersed by riot police. The Sox finished a few games below .500 that year. Those were two of games in the loss column.
That was also the era of the Sox trotting out the ugliest MLB uniforms on record, which anyone can look up. I'm not going to link to them. Fisk and Zisk and all the other guys had to endure the ignominy of trying to compete in those togs. For that, they should have gotten paid at least what the average bat choking pinch hitting utility infielder gets paid today.
posted by beaverboard at 04:23 PM on June 25, 2025
Steve Ballmer paid a record 2 billion to Donald Sterling for the Clippers even though Donald was being forced to sell the team and had little leverage to speak of.
You don't bring a Brinks truck to a fire sale. Ballmer way overpaid.
Then the Clips put together a Herschel Walker trade with OKC to get Paul George. Where OKC is now is the result of that trade. Besides SGA, OKC GM Sam Presti has a trove of draft picks that would make Danny Ainge want to burst into tears and chew on a wet towel.
Presti's first wave of mega talent (Harden, KD, Westbrook) have all turned into high priced wanderers with baggage that for the most part have not delivered their NBA teams to the promised land.
And if OKC hadn't tanked in the 3rd quarter of Game 7 of the 2016 WCF with the Warriors and lost their chance to go to The Finals, KD might well have stayed put in OKC instead of signing with Golden State.
The Lakers just got sold and have roster issues. Not top contending anytime soon.
Against this backdrop and remembering that Rick Carlisle brought Dallas a title via the toughest playoff road in NBA history and this year almost pulled off what would have been the most momentous Finals upset in history with the Pacers, any complaints on the part of Mavs fans are strictly junior varsity. Be glad for what you had when you had it, and for what you're about to get later today.
posted by beaverboard at 12:54 PM on June 25, 2025
In prior games, Tyrese was clever about holding the bulk of his scoring till later in the game.
Last night, he came out firing and nailed three threes in quick succession. He looked like he was feeling it and ready to will his team to a historic win.
That will only add to the sense of "what if" and "asterisk win" if there are some folks who are so inclined to peg that on the Thunder.
Siakam wasn't having any of that talk post game. He was all "shit happens; next man up".
I told my brother in law that Holmgren had to score at least 12 and grab 7 boards for a Thunder win. He had been invisible in Game 6. Actually a liability at some moments.
Holmgren did well and him showing up helped create the margin of victory.
I still wouldn't pay him, but I would defer to Presti if I was an OKC fan.
The edgiest folks weighing in were Seattle fans. "NO, THIS IS NOT THE SONICS SECOND TITLE. IT'S OKC'S FIRST TITLE."
posted by beaverboard at 05:39 PM on June 23, 2025
Last night, I was sure that the Thunder would do to the Pacers what the Panthers did to the Oilers.
Close it out, leave no doubt. Well damn. What a job by the Pacers.
The prospect of Sunday's Game 7 feels like a NCAA tournament title game. Maybe Oklahoma-Kansas in 1988.
I can't watch Holmgren any more. He doesn't want to be there. He was strictly an onlooker last night. If he doesn't show up on Sunday, OKC is going to have to figure something out.
posted by beaverboard at 10:18 AM on June 20, 2025
For Boston sports fans staring into their beer:
Yesterday, Brad Marchand won the Stanley Cup and Rafael Devers went 2 for 5 and told the Giants he'd play wherever they wanted him to.
But all is not lost. Xander Bogaerts and Mookie Betts both went hitless, and a couple of days ago, Roman Anthony hit his first major league home run.
Wait till Anthony becomes a star and gets famous. Comedian Jimmy O. Yang will weigh in to let everyone know that naming a kid Roman Anthony is like if his mom had named him Cantonese Jimmy.
posted by beaverboard at 10:18 PM on June 18, 2025
In Taylor's 1st MLB game, he threw 11 scoreless innings, gave up a grand slam in the 12th.
Didn't that make him eminently qualified to provide care to Dave Stieb?
posted by beaverboard at 12:48 AM on June 17, 2025
Just keep sending them all to California.
I don't even care what the Red Sox do at this point.
I'm just waiting for the sunroof of a car parked on Landsdowne St. to open up and a Ukranian drone flies out, heading for the owner's box at Fenway.
posted by beaverboard at 04:20 PM on June 16, 2025
Speaking as a longtime resident of Bruins country, if that rascal Brad Marchand wins the Conn Smythe, I will throw up in a TD Garden popcorn bucket.
posted by beaverboard at 10:23 PM on June 10, 2025
Game One of the NBA Finals won just before the buzzer by the Pacers, who had trailed all game and staged a stunning comeback.
Game One of the NHL Finals won by the Oilers deep into overtime after they came back and tied the game in the third period of regulation.
Game Two of the NHL Finals won by the Panthers in two overtimes after the Oilers tied the game with seconds left in regulation.
The Oilers and Panthers have played the equivalent of three regulation games to decide two outcomes.
Carlos Alcaraz beats Janek Sinner in five sets after dropping the first two sets to win the longest (and some say best) French Open Men's Final ever played.
Sovereignty duels with Journalism down the stretch in an intense rematch of the Kentucky Derby and pulls away to win the Belmont Stakes.
We're in the middle of an anointed sports moment with something heroic happening almost every day. No telling what will happen next.
The US Open tournament is coming up. Ordinary golf is not going to cut it in the present context.
posted by beaverboard at 04:36 PM on June 08, 2025
The Cup has to go to Canada, so there can be a jubilant scene with the hockey fiend PM in Ottawa while the Clemson style McDonalds champions' banquet goes cold and gelatinous at the White House.
I'm worried about the NBA champs celebrating at the White House because those guys make so much money that they want to go to the Lawn to pump for investment and capital gains tax cuts. Shake a hand, smooth a perm, save a mil.
It took an extraordinary amount of tectonic shift for former staunch Republican Charles Barkley to finally declare that the GOP had lost their minds and jump ship.
A Black man from Alabama going to the mat for the Southern Strategy party of Nixon until all reason was abandoned.
What if the Pacers won and went to celebrate with Mike Pence?
posted by beaverboard at 07:15 PM on June 06, 2025
Dang, an all-Texas WCWS title game.
I love that the elite women's pitchers can throw all day in the mid to upper 70 mph range and then go out and start the next game if needed.
The Twins' Tom Kelly would have loved coaching this kind of ball, where you can go win a title with a couple of good arms.
posted by beaverboard at 01:28 PM on June 06, 2025
Thunder's gonna Knick.
You lose Game 1 at home to this Pacers group, it could be tough sledding.
Once again, Haliburton ran a bit quiet till the 4th.
A lot of guys go berserk in the 1st period and then vanish.
OKC has a good coach. He started Holmgren at the 5 and didn't get much out of him. Looking forward to seeing the Game 2 lineups. They need what Holmgren brings, when he brings it.
It's a crime that a game like that didn't have Kevin Harlan on the game call. Hell, I'd take Noah Eagle over Breen and Jefferson.
Think how colorful this series would be if the Thunder had never relocated and were still wearing Sonics unis.
posted by beaverboard at 11:40 AM on June 06, 2025
Eins! Zwei! Drai! Saitl! Fear!
posted by beaverboard at 11:15 AM on June 05, 2025
After the Knicks disassembled the Celtics in the playoffs, some folks probably thought that one of those head coaches would get the boot.
But I bet they didn't think it would be Thibodeau.
posted by beaverboard at 01:01 PM on June 04, 2025
Which reminds me, I'm still pissed at Tom Brady during Deflategate when the league demanded his cell phone and he told them it was given to an assistant and broken or lost instead of saying "Go to hell and get fucked, you have no authority, you're not getting my phone".
posted by beaverboard at 04:49 PM on June 03, 2025
Many thanks, tommy. So wild - today, the Boston Globe just published a piece on what happens when you travel outside the US.
I started scrolling through it and had to pause for a diversion when they got to the point of having to unlock your phone or give out your laptop password.
If it ever gets to that point with me, someone with an insignia will be swimming to Windsor using a recalled Ford airbag as a flotation device.
posted by beaverboard at 04:45 PM on June 03, 2025
If I crossed the border to go see a game and then wasn't allowed back into the US, are there affordable places to stay in and around Moose Jaw?
posted by beaverboard at 11:41 PM on June 02, 2025
How can you even think about the NBA with all the exciting pre-season preparations being made by the University of North Carolina football program?
posted by beaverboard at 12:08 AM on June 02, 2025
At some point, the Canadian end of a super long distance Cup Finals (Edmonton, Vancouver) is going to have to prevail.
I remember the Rangers - Canucks mid 90's Cup Final. It was pre-internet and the games in BC were hard to keep track of if you were on the East Coast of the US and couldn't watch them. Spinning through radio and TV channels just to try to get a late night final score.
posted by beaverboard at 05:30 PM on May 30, 2025
I do like those Canes dark unis.
Are the Canes at the point that the Buccaneers were at when they deep sixed Dungy and brought in Gruden?
If the Oilers close out the Stars, I think they'll have home ice this time. Not that the Panthers seem to care about that.
posted by beaverboard at 06:44 PM on May 29, 2025
I can be forgiven for awaiting the start of the third period with dread and a sense of inevitability.
posted by beaverboard at 01:55 AM on May 27, 2025
It's not that there's no drama.
It's just that it's not competitive drama.
posted by beaverboard at 02:49 PM on May 23, 2025
Why Reggie Miller should not be calling the Eastern Conference Finals
posted by beaverboard at 06:51 PM on May 22, 2025
Good piece on Irsay in the Athletic was posted a few hours after his death.
I wish Bob Irsay had never owned a NFL team and I wish Carroll Rosenbloom had never traded the Colts to Irsay for the Rams.
But there's no guarantee that Rosenbloom would have kept the Colts in Baltimore since his Rams eventually fled LA for St. Louis.
posted by beaverboard at 01:28 AM on May 22, 2025
I'm hoping that last night was a bit of Raleigh rust and not a portent of what is to come.
Can a goalie have more than 5 holes?
posted by beaverboard at 07:55 PM on May 21, 2025
If I was a Leafs fan, I don't know what else I would have expected.
Just one Canadian team left. Go Oilers, so there'd be no doubt as to whether the Cup winner would be visiting 1600 Pennsylvania Ave.
Meanwhile, God saw Dallas was having so much fun (Stars' Cup run, NBA lottery win, WNBA top draft pick), that George Pickens was sent there to help compensate.
Note to Steelers: during the draft, decide which skill position player you would take if you could, then let another team draft him.
posted by beaverboard at 03:07 PM on May 19, 2025
I hear that the Scheffler tour made the most of its time in Charlotte this week.
posted by beaverboard at 07:16 PM on May 18, 2025
If I was a longtime Leafs fan, I don't know whether I would share your apparent enthusiasm for tonight's contest.
I'd likely be torn between anticipation and dread.
posted by beaverboard at 12:23 PM on May 18, 2025
Luke-embe Kornet-ombo
posted by beaverboard at 04:34 PM on May 15, 2025
Black Sox reinstated.
posted by beaverboard at 11:14 AM on May 14, 2025
A Pacers - Knicks Eastern Conference Final is going to revive all the Reggie Miller - Spike Lee business.
posted by beaverboard at 11:13 AM on May 14, 2025
When God Shammgod
Is on your squad
All other teams
Are as good as scrod.
posted by beaverboard at 09:51 PM on May 13, 2025
Lively exchange there. Thank goodness for screenshots.
Glad to see the guy has been suspended. And he has to face an in-person review.
Cifu's home base of Martin County is not bashful in support of the current regime.
The phrase "enjoy your poverty" from a prior post is a remarkably revealing statement that should be mandatory viewing for all those who have been misled and coerced into voting against their own interests.
posted by beaverboard at 02:08 PM on May 13, 2025
Please note that the Spurs got the second pick, so they damn near did it again.
If the draft is rigged to benefit San Antonio, it's probably to compensate for all the things Charles Barkley has said about its women.
posted by beaverboard at 12:41 PM on May 13, 2025
The day before this Mavericks conspiracy unfolded, Saints QB Derek Carr retired.
Unexpected things happening in New Orleans and Dallas in quick succession.
I have a call in to Oliver Stone's office about this.
Look for a major motion picture at some point in the future.
I tell folks that if the draft was rigged, Zion Williamson would have gone to Portland.
Ancestral home of the always injured.
posted by beaverboard at 12:39 PM on May 13, 2025
Zamboni Driver In Trancelike State Does Crop Circles After Third OT; Emergency Tim Hortons I.V. Being Rushed To Arena.
posted by beaverboard at 01:05 AM on May 12, 2025
Celtics are up by 26 heading to the 4th.
Knicks have them right where they want them.
posted by beaverboard at 05:37 PM on May 10, 2025
The only Coyote that would aspire to turn into a Mammoth is a character named Wile E.
Something about Utah...
When a team moves there and they don't change the name, it gets weird (Jazz).
When a team moves there and they do change the name, it gets weird (Mammoth).
The pale blue color is as lame for this team as it is for the Titans, UNC and Microsoft. Especially compared to some of the cool graphic design concepts that the Arizona team had.
And are messages on the arena's video board going to be called Mammograms?
posted by beaverboard at 11:49 AM on May 08, 2025
I've been telling folks about the legendary Atlanta airport Popeye's for a while and those who have partaken heartily concur.
But now, a writer at The Athletic has fallen in love with the Atlanta airport Bojangles chicken biscuit, which he says is incomparable.
It's good to have choices. And connecting flights.
posted by beaverboard at 12:44 PM on May 03, 2025
If you're Nico Harrison and you hear the talk about the Lakers suffering for lack of depth, lack of size up front, needing to be better on defense, and needing to be in better shape next season, do you:
1) thump your chest and say hell yeah
2) quietly light a candle and do a little dance
3) ignore the chatter and move on
posted by beaverboard at 12:09 PM on May 02, 2025
Being an Edmonton Oilers fan in the playoffs is the equivalent of starting a weight loss plan with a sleeve of Oreos and a fistful of Ozempic pens.
posted by beaverboard at 11:53 AM on May 02, 2025
Varsho is something. If that had been a Dave Stieb no-hitter with two out in the ninth, it would have bounced off his butt for a double.
posted by beaverboard at 03:54 PM on April 30, 2025
Remember when Deion said he would intervene if the wrong team picked his son Shedeur?
Shilo saw how that went and he did his own intervention.
When you fire your dad and take up with the agent that got fired by Terrell Owens, that is a high score on the drastic meter.
Shilo and Travis Hunter end up on warm weather teams, like Deion said he wanted.
Shedeur, who was the main subject of Deion's management focus, ends up looking at Lake Erie up close.
posted by beaverboard at 05:32 PM on April 28, 2025
I fully expected the Sanders watch party being streamed worldwide to erupt in a cheer of "U-F-A!, U-F-A!".
posted by beaverboard at 01:44 PM on April 27, 2025
Seven picks came off the NFL draft board while Mel Kiper indulged in his pants wetting over Shedeur Sanders finally being drafted in the fifth round.
posted by beaverboard at 10:20 AM on April 27, 2025
Jor-El and Lara alert: Titans draft Kalel.
posted by beaverboard at 04:38 PM on April 26, 2025
It's finally official. Shedeur will be backing up Joe Flacco, Kenny Pickett and Dillon Gabriel on a team with a dysfunctional front office.
That's one of those warm weather teams that Deion said he wanted his guys to go to.
But hey, Shedeur is a lot cheaper and more ready to play than Deshaun Watson.
And if he keeps his college number, he's inheriting all the goodness that Tim Couch and Johnny Manziel imbued it with in Cleveland.
posted by beaverboard at 02:29 PM on April 26, 2025
There are a lot of reasons.
One is the limited coaching spectrum. It's tough to go from just your dad right to a NFL staff. Especially a staff that is seen as on the hot seat (Daboll et al.).
I think some teams just don't want him in their locker room. Or they think he'll crumble in their locker room (Steelers have some guys in their room that set the tone).
Some teams saw how the LaVar Ball factor played out in the NBA and said to themselves: That's the junior varsity. Deion Sanders is the varsity. Who needs it?
I think only a few pro teams would consider hiring Deion as a HC at this point. He needs a bigger body of non-insular work at Colorado or elsewhere in D1. He already said he doesn't want to coach pros because of the money factor. He feels that grown men with millions won't buy into his way of handling things. But he's already handling millionaires at the college level.
Deion was so sure of himself about all this and thought he could dictate trajectory because in his mind the value was so high. Said he didn't want his men to go to cold weather teams. He and his guys are lost in a fog of their own image and branding bedazzlement.
He got his wish with Travis. I still think the Jags overpaid, but it'll be fun to watch.
Stephen Smith and Rich Eisen may join Mel Kiper in a clinical wing if this continues deep into Day 3.
posted by beaverboard at 02:07 PM on April 26, 2025
I'm starting a Go Fund Me to buy a big gold chain for Shedeur Sanders on behalf of a grateful nation in the event that he goes undrafted and Mel Kiper has a massive coronary.
posted by beaverboard at 01:03 AM on April 26, 2025
I kind of wish there was a "Three and D" position in the NFL like there is in the NBA.
Guys like Will Levis and Anthony Richardson could line up as Atwater / Fulcher size DB's in nickel and dime packages.
Then they could come in and throw 60 yard TD strikes that blow your mind one or two times a game.
posted by beaverboard at 10:09 PM on April 24, 2025
The Jags having many needs...I don't know, seems like they overpaid a bit to move up to #2.
Unless they plan to win the division and their 2026 first rounder won't be as juicy as this year's pick.
posted by beaverboard at 09:22 PM on April 24, 2025
When the look says you're not sure whether you should be in the Federal Witness Protection program.
posted by beaverboard at 11:33 AM on April 16, 2025
Great read, thanks for posting.
posted by beaverboard at 11:26 AM on April 16, 2025
I like seeing a player win that way because Augusta starts its playoffs right at the same hole that you may have just messed up on, so if you win the way Rory did, you are deserving.
I like that Justin Rose guy, what a class individual, I wish he was 10 years younger so we could see more of him in his prime.
Every year that goes by, more and more people learn more about how Augusta operates and become more disenchanted. I'm just tired of all the pettiness and control freakism.
And CBS - the bird calls you piped in when they were getting ready to tee off at 18 at the start of the playoff were way over the top. Ridiculous Gilligan's Island shit. I'm going to Ace Hardware to decompress with the parakeets.
posted by beaverboard at 11:57 AM on April 14, 2025
Who knows what'll happen the rest of today and tomorrow, but I just happened to glance at the Masters leaderboard.
Rory McIlroy is 5 under through 5 at the moment, with the odds swung firmly in his favor.
Now fair befall you.
posted by beaverboard at 03:35 PM on April 12, 2025
It was moose and squirrel.
Or he sold his controlling stake in SpoFi to Patrick Dumont.
posted by beaverboard at 05:40 PM on April 11, 2025
SportsFilter: The Monday Huddle
RIP Dave Parker. Loved that guy, loved those 70's Pirates teams. And the unis. A perfect combo of elements.
Dave wasn't the first player to have his own walkup music, but he was definitely one of the first to make it a thing.
When walkup music got to the point where pesky .250 bat choking contact hitter Craig Counsell was tracking Jimi Hendrix's "All Along The Watchtower" as a walkup, I said OK, this shit has gotten way out of hand. Commissioner's office should have said "No. You can use Barry Manilow or The Bee Gees. Not Jimi."