- 10:32 PM
- 01/22/25
We look at their problems and shake our heads and they look at our problems and shake their heads.
posted by beaverboard at 12:54 PM on January 21, 2025
I was toying with the idea of applying for a job at The Onion so I knew I might have to come up with some catchy headlines.
See what you think of this one:
"Dictator Loving Mascot Handler Fired By Team For Posting Photos Of Prosthetic Penis"
posted by beaverboard at 11:09 AM on January 21, 2025
In yesterday's NFL games -
- Fumbles and dropped balls by sleeveless players: multiple
- Fumbles and dropped balls by players wearing sleeves: zero
posted by beaverboard at 03:32 PM on January 20, 2025
If you had told me a few weeks ago that two teams from the East would be playing in the NFC Championship game...
posted by beaverboard at 06:33 PM on January 19, 2025
I was hoping that the Buffalo Bills would make the most of a snow game and come out in white helmets, jerseys and pants. Make the Ravens wear the dark colors.
But the Bills will be in their standard blue jerseys with white helmets and pants. No color camo trick plays a la Boise State.
It turns out that the Bills are 8-0 this year in the blue jerseys, but only 1-2 in their all white sets. Going with what brung 'em.
posted by beaverboard at 09:00 PM on January 18, 2025
No Park City Michael Jordan pizza for me. I'm sticking with Detroit style pizza in honor of the playoffs and the return of the RB who can carry 5 men on his back, David Montgomery.
I got a proper Detroit pizza pan, have an old kitchen mixer with a bread hook to make the dough, but I need a 550 degree oven and mine only goes to 500.
I'll give it a try at 500. If it sucks, my Greek pals down the street said I can walk in with a pizza ready to cook in the pan and they'll bake it in their commercial pizza oven.
If that works, we'll stand there and sample it all the way down on the spot and if I want do it again, I'll have to make 2 pies, one for them, one for me.
Best scenario is: They love it, I show them how to do it, tell them where to get the pans and then just order Detroit style off their menu. It won't have the right kind of cheese on it, but it will be close.
posted by beaverboard at 08:22 PM on January 15, 2025
The Darnold thing has been coming for a little while. He was barely getting the ball out before being sacked in prior weeks. Bug eyes and happy feet. His OL must be gassed.
Last night there was a swell of chatter about the Cowboys poaching Belichick from UNC but folks close to Dallas said Jerry would never pay the $10 mil. buyout.
Belichick made $20 mil. a year as HC of the Pats. He could probably cover the buyout if he wanted to go to Dallas.
One more day in the life when content desperados like Eisen and McAfee don't have to worry about what they're going to fill up the time with.
posted by beaverboard at 01:59 PM on January 14, 2025
I just went back and checked the continuous post-game live stream from the Vikings-Rams game and Sam Darnold is still holding the ball.
posted by beaverboard at 09:05 AM on January 14, 2025
Bears ask Cowboys to speak to Mike McCarthy
Cowboys wait over 24 hours to respond, then say no
End of season coaching changes begin two Sundays ago
Cowboys wait till today to let McCarthy go
Here's Jerry Jones' approach to running the front office briskly and efficiently
posted by beaverboard at 09:05 PM on January 13, 2025
Looks like it's going to be (another) Lake Effect Snow Week in Western NY this week.
Game conditions at the Bills stadium could be interesting.
Both teams are capable of putting up 200 + yards of rushing.
The template of the Pats beating the Bills in a Buffalo maelstrom while throwing only three passes hasn't left the minds of game planners.
The Ravens are a bit deeper and deadlier in the run game. Two great OC's. Should be good.
posted by beaverboard at 07:17 PM on January 13, 2025
No disrespect to the Chiefs, but the Ravens and Bills meeting in the Divisional Round instead of the Conference Championship is almost criminal.
posted by beaverboard at 04:12 PM on January 13, 2025
That Commanders-Bucs game last night was physical. They could have played the whole game in the blue tent.
posted by beaverboard at 03:38 PM on January 13, 2025
Gagnant, gagnant, diner de poulet.
posted by beaverboard at 12:54 PM on January 13, 2025
His firing by that franchise is widely regarded as a major blunder.
The Titans hiring the one-two combo of Whisenhunt and Mularkey prior to Vrabel is the type of decision making that would make the Khan-Baalke juggernaut as we know it deeply envious.
I doubt Vrabel would have chosen the Jags, roster regardless, because the team has gone 62-144 in the post-Del Rio ownership tenure of Shad Khan, who is the sole owner. The team's consistent ineptitude falls squarely on him. There's no doubt that Khan wants to be competitive. He just doesn't know how. When you continue to retain a GM who has been through four coach firings and was previously fired himself, you're in the John Mara - Jerry Jones Clueless Owners Club.
However, Vrabel is not all that much better off going to the Pats, as the Krafts are also sole owners and their recent history is that of varsity bumblers. But the team has a legacy of glory that they're driven to recapture, which counts for something.
For those who think that sole ownership isn't a factor, note that when the Walton ownership group bought the Broncos, they made some hellacious initial mistakes due to having far more money than experience but have quickly recovered to become competitive despite massive cap hits, having to pay most of Russel Wilson's salary, etc. Sean Payton wouldn't have signed on with that group if he thought they were going to be terminally inept.
(In all fairness, John Mara is not a sole owner, but his name is always the one attached to the fortunes of the Giants franchise. Maybe the Tisch family needs to begin weighing in more. They know what success is supposed to look like. They've built a prodigious multi-generational family empire).
posted by beaverboard at 06:01 PM on January 12, 2025
Can't think of any right off.
Closest I could think of would be the Ripkens, but I think that's only continuous if you consider the entire organization and I don't know if Cal Ripken Sr. ever played for the big league club.
If LeBron James hadn't taken his skills to South Beach, this scenario might be playing out in Cleveland, but Bronny James would be way less likely to ever see the court with this year's Cavs than this year's Lakers.
posted by beaverboard at 11:55 AM on January 12, 2025
Will Howard made some throws into openings about the size of a cat door last night.
posted by beaverboard at 11:43 AM on January 11, 2025
I keep torturing NoMich. I may have to set him up with an emotional support biscuits and gravy voucher.
posted by beaverboard at 02:55 PM on January 10, 2025
I don't see Freeman going to OSU. Why go from being a saint to being a pinata?
Everyone in South Bend is just glad that Brian Kelly is off torturing residents of the Bayou State.
I like Notre Dame right now. Partly because I no longer have to listen to Brent Musburger ejaculating in his trousers every time the team does something remotely worthy on the football field. That guy was the King of Tilt. Tyrann Mathieu didn't have a life until Musburger finally got over his Honey Badger fixation.
What I couldn't stand watching last night were the throws that both QB's made. I didn't see any velocity to speak of. It was like watching Jamie Moyer pitch against Scott McGregor. The soft serves stayed in the air so long, I'm surprised there weren't several more picks.
Neither one of those QB's can throw anything close to a NFL pass. And when Riley Leonard tucks it and runs, he reminds me a bit of Tebow. Slo slo slo. I'll have to go back to film of Joe Milton's first start with the Pats this past Sunday to remind myself of what velocity looks like.
What was lacking in speed was made up for in toughness. Both of those defenses swarmed to the ball. There was some major contact happening.
Penn State will forever have an old school vibe. Every man on the team looked like a member of the late 1950's Baltimore Colts.
posted by beaverboard at 11:31 AM on January 10, 2025
Some folks just can't get enough:
"Anyone I've ever represented who was great was passionate."
- Drew Rosenhaus, agent for disgruntled Dolphins WR Tyreek Hill...and this guy
posted by beaverboard at 08:48 PM on January 09, 2025
From the soft corners department: Florida will host multiple outdoor NHL games in 2025-26.
Flooding a rink in Miami will be a breeze if they don't mind sea water.
Wish I had the Sunshine State refrigerant contract.
posted by beaverboard at 04:17 PM on January 08, 2025
It doesn't help that in the sports viewership world at large, there's a strong sentiment among guys that the women on air need to stay in their lane and can be replaced. Hard to establish a strong standing in the workplace under those circumstances.
posted by beaverboard at 04:08 PM on January 08, 2025
Only the Cowboys would deny the Bears' request to interview Mike McCarthy.
posted by beaverboard at 11:23 AM on January 08, 2025
Tom Brady never forgot that Antonio Pierce helped wreck the Patriots' undefeated season in the Super Bowl.
posted by beaverboard at 04:25 PM on January 07, 2025
There was a time when I thought Titans owner Amy Adams Strunk knew what she was doing.
But firing GM Ran Carthon now, a year after he helped do in Mike Vrabel, and keeping the new coach Carthon brought in to go 3-14 this season?
Sheila Ford Hamp she ain't.
I don't know what qualified soul would want to be the GM of that organization right now. First pick in the draft or not.
posted by beaverboard at 01:16 PM on January 07, 2025
Only the Bears would ask the Cowboys for permission to speak to Mike McCarthy.
If there's a Shad Khan golden showers tape, Trent Baalke has a copy.
posted by beaverboard at 09:43 PM on January 06, 2025
Kraft wants to get ahead of the game and beat Baalke to Tomsula or Chip Kelly.
posted by beaverboard at 02:19 PM on January 06, 2025
Ownership matters:
Jaguars fire HC Pederson but keep GM Trent Baalke. I wish Shad Khan had made his automotive fortune on control modules instead of truck bumpers.
After going through an arithmetic wins progression - from 9 to 6 to 3 - Giants retain both HC Daboll and GM Schoen. A John Mara (non) move if there ever was one.
Can't wait till Woody Johnson and Mark Davis have a turn.
posted by beaverboard at 11:47 AM on January 06, 2025
Mike Vrabel's new old team has the first pick in the draft.
posted by beaverboard at 06:57 PM on January 05, 2025
Depends on how deep the snow is.
posted by beaverboard at 10:33 PM on January 03, 2025
There's nothing like a wintertime Donner Pass tailgate.
First thing on the grill are the brats.
posted by beaverboard at 04:03 PM on January 03, 2025
Lane Kiffin is still pissed at Ole Miss being left out of the CFB playoffs and is taking out his anger by putting a whupping on poor old Duke.
NoMich may not be devastated by this. In fact, he may be hoisting a Sneaky Penguin or a Salty Turtle to cheer on the boys from Oxford.
posted by beaverboard at 11:05 PM on January 02, 2025
This Ohio State team is starting to feel like the one that marched to the title 10 years ago with third string QB Cardale Jones shocking the world when he was pressed into service due to injuries.
Including a stomping of Oregon at some point along the way (by almost identical scores).
Cardale's championship run reminded me a bit of John Daly's improbable "grip it and rip it" victory in the 1991 PGA tournament. In the zone and having fun. Nothing complicated.
Cardale was not surgically dissecting defenses with dinks and dunks. He had a group of stud WR's that were able to run under his prodigious long throws almost at will. It was fun to watch.
Then he had the wisdom and presence of mind not to get swooned by his sudden success and returned to OSU for another year instead of declaring for the draft as a media darling.
My impression was that Urban Meyer couldn't believe what was unfolding before his eyes but ran with the momentum and added a trophy to his resume. He was playing with house money - if OSU had lost, they would have been valiant in defeat, starting a third string QB who had hardly ever seen the field before.
posted by beaverboard at 12:30 PM on January 02, 2025
The clever bastard used a big EV so people wouldn't hear him coming.
If he or other members of his cadre planted numerous IED's around NOLA, it might be hard to track them all down, especially with the holiday crowds in town.
posted by beaverboard at 04:37 PM on January 01, 2025
Both kickers struggled. Was the wind a big factor?
posted by beaverboard at 02:48 AM on December 31, 2024
Sneak preview of the 2025 Bro Moments calendar, coming soon to finer newsstands.
posted by beaverboard at 11:13 AM on December 30, 2024
First the Seahawks played in the one of the ugliest Super Bowls of all time (vs Steelers), and now they have played in one of the ugliest regular season games of all time.
posted by beaverboard at 03:51 PM on December 27, 2024
Even though they're called the NY Giants, they now have Penix envy.
posted by beaverboard at 12:29 PM on December 23, 2024
RIP massive greatness.
posted by beaverboard at 02:25 AM on December 22, 2024
Damn, sorry tommy. I'll see if there's a workaround.
Also, some of the comments are worth checking out. They give a broader, more generous view of the transition of the franchise, so it's not all about the pain of loss to central New England.
posted by beaverboard at 03:17 PM on December 21, 2024
The way the Atlanta Falcons rostered the quarterback position for 2024 is having an impact on celebrity lifestyles.
posted by beaverboard at 08:59 AM on December 21, 2024
The buzz around this year's Army-Navy Game has been unrivaled in recent memory.
A collision of two very good teams.
I thought Navy had a chance, but I did not see this domination coming.
What great scouting, film study and defensive game planning by The Midshipmen.
And commendable quickness and foot speed on both squads.
Howard must be on Cloud 10. He is going to float into the sanctuary tomorrow morning.
posted by beaverboard at 08:20 PM on December 14, 2024
Wouldn't it be a scene if Ashton Jeanty was awarded the Heisman.
The howling that would ensue if Travis Hunter got bypassed would melt all the snow at Breckenridge and Steamboat Springs.
posted by beaverboard at 05:38 PM on December 14, 2024
Howard, the scrip pain meds they gave you can do double duty as Bruins buffers.
Take the edge off the woe and get you through the stress of the pre-holiday season.
My goal with pain management is to simulate a near level ground bobsled run with long, gradual turns.
Push off and glide...give the car keys to the bride.
posted by beaverboard at 07:20 PM on December 13, 2024
Can't believe he's been gone from the place that long. Where has the time gone.
I kind of miss the Holgorsen days when the Mountaineers would either win or lose by a score of 45-42 or something close to that.
Middle school boys basketball scores.
posted by beaverboard at 03:25 PM on December 13, 2024
I made my annual run for seasonal Belgian dubbels and tripels and found out that the stores began pricing their overseas goods on a "tariffs are coming" basis a month ago.
And their usual holiday sales on select items? Not happening, no way.
I wish the distillers Richard and Craig Landry lived nearby. I would help subsidize those guys.
posted by beaverboard at 03:18 PM on December 11, 2024
Soto will face strong expectations that he can propel the Mets to the next level, so it's appropriate that his name anagrams to JATO Onus.
posted by beaverboard at 11:51 AM on December 10, 2024
People who support the fugitive health care CEO gunman are holding lookalike contests in NYC and as far as I can tell, Joe Flacco has not entered the competition.
posted by beaverboard at 09:05 PM on December 08, 2024
NFC North heavyweight fight last night make this a mandatory biscuit combo morning after.
posted by beaverboard at 10:07 AM on December 06, 2024
Hope NoMich and all other Lions fans saw the feature on Penei Sewell in the Athletic.
Don't have to be a Lions fan to like it, though.
posted by beaverboard at 12:03 PM on December 05, 2024
Ryan Leaf has done the most remarkable 180 in life. He is extremely real and listenable.
I hope he gets more gigs of his own in due course, although he's a great sub.
Sometimes when he subs on the Eisen show, I'll see a clip of it pop up on YT and watch it in disbelief.
I say to my self: Dis Be Leaf.
posted by beaverboard at 11:54 AM on December 05, 2024
I thought the fans were supposed to be great but Tom Brady said the hotel rooms were no good.
Guess we have to revise that line of thinking.
I sincerely hope that the Bills or Ravens win the Super Bowl this year so we can get all that pent up fan frustration out of the way.
No, I take that back, I really want the Lions to win.
I would enjoy a Vikings - Bills Super Bowl though. Someone would finally be winning the big one after four fails. As long as they don't bring Tarkenton into it.
posted by beaverboard at 04:18 PM on December 04, 2024
When you're an 8 year old cancer patient at your first NFL game, being pushed down the stairs by a drunk Bills fan is painful enough.
Then, as your story goes viral, Antonio Brown weighs in and offers to help raise awareness.
posted by beaverboard at 11:15 AM on December 04, 2024
I stopped going to the gym when the trainer said I would end up with awesome pick six abs.
posted by beaverboard at 05:35 PM on December 03, 2024
I don't think there is a greater living embodiment of the first two lines of "A Tale Of Two Cities" than Jameis Winston.
Yardage, savvy decisions, TD's, WTF's, devastating team killing picks.
As Stefon from Saturday Night Live would say, he's got everything.
He even tossed in one of his patented backward puppet falls when he got trucked during the runback of the second pick six.
If you want entertainment value combined with Lord-help-us-all moments in the current post-election period, Jameis is the man of the moment.
posted by beaverboard at 01:40 PM on December 03, 2024
If you'd quit calling yourselves THE Ohio State University, maybe you wouldn't lose to a bitter rival with a greenhorn coach that's barely bowl eligible.
posted by beaverboard at 05:38 PM on November 30, 2024
Chronic ineptitude can always be tied directly to ownership.
No accident the the Lions finally escaped from purgatory when Sheila Ford Hamp took over.
Then there are the Commanders. Much better already without Snyder.
The league is probably OK with some teams languishing in mediocrity as part of the eagerness for parity.
The actress Rooney Mara is probably a bit conflicted. Half of her ownership heritage has kept the Steelers competitive year in and year out and the other half has kept the Giants' heads up their asses more often than not.
But at least the Giants don't have the Jets' Woody Johnson up their asses.
posted by beaverboard at 07:44 PM on November 29, 2024
The Lions have won Thanksgiving Day games in different ways over the years. Put this one in the same basket as the 1998 game against the Steelers when Phil Luckett fucked up the OT coin toss, giving the Lions an avenue to win the game under the OT rules of the day.
If you can't abide ineptitude, you're in for a long day.
Or a short day if you work in the Bears front office.
posted by beaverboard at 05:55 PM on November 29, 2024
Remember now, tomorrow you need to stall the turkey until 3:30 Eastern time so everyone can watch the early game.
Then chow down on the vittles so everyone can sleep during the second game.
Whether anyone wants to wake up for the late game is an individual decision. Miami going to Lambeau in late November to play at night with snow showers in the forecast...
...does anyone remember the Dolphins - Cowboys Thanksgiving game in 1993?
posted by beaverboard at 12:40 PM on November 27, 2024
SportsFilter: The Wednesday Huddle
I'm not on Bluesky yet, but all Jags fans should be on Cloud 9.
After having HC candidates decline interest in the Jacksonville job due to the front office situation, Shad Khan finally woke up late and "parted ways" with Trent Baalke.
Too bad it happened after other teams made their moves and took good coaches off the board.
I'm hoping that Putin puts Baalke in charge of the invasion of Ukraine.