- 09:44 AM
- 07/11/20
If the NBA had players like Tree Rollins, Laimbeer, and Ron Artest on current rosters, they'd probably have to scrap the season. Things would just be too unpredictable. And Danny Ainge's hand would have to be quarantined after Rollins bit down on it.
posted by beaverboard at 01:46 PM on July 10, 2020
It's not just the rules, Howard. Picture being the plate umpire and getting into a major argument with a manager. In Finnish. It's probably the hardest of the Nordic languages. It doesn't seem to have the semi-connectivity that Danish, Swedish, and Norwegian do.
posted by beaverboard at 09:23 PM on July 09, 2020
These COVID masks are raising hell with the facial recognition software on my new smart toilet.
posted by beaverboard at 09:39 AM on July 07, 2020
The concern is that the name is bound to be shortened to "The Tails", and it won't take long for that to conjure up a sea of references to congressional and executive naughty business, from Nan Britton to Marilyn Monroe to the firm of Daniels, McDougal, Carroll, Holvey and Leeds (acting on behalf of numerous others).
Oops, that reminds me, didn't mean to leave the judicial branch out of it.
posted by beaverboard at 06:23 PM on July 04, 2020
From the Money Rules Above All Desk:
The coming Washington NFL team name change is partly being caused by a hefty projected loss of revenue if Daniel Snyder were to continue to refuse to change the name.
But also, the merchandise light bulb went on:
1) If they do a good job with the name change and uniform design, they are going to sell a ton of the new team gear.
2) They are also going to sell a ton of the old gear to die hard fans who liked things the way they were. One way or another, the old stuff will remain available for a long time to come.
What's the team going to wear for Throwback games?
Memo to Snyder: When renaming the team, you have got to do better than "Wizards". That name still feels like it was lifted from Marques Haynes and the Fabulous Magicians.
posted by beaverboard at 02:18 PM on July 04, 2020
When I was in high school in the early 70's (in the US), just Canuck by itself with no adjective was seen as at least semi derogatory. It was jumbled in with all the other derogatory ethnic names that kicked around in common usage at the time. Mick, spic, etc. Damn near every kid I knew was one thing or another.
A friend of mine who had strong Polish heritage was stunned when the Canucks team name was announced as they joined the NHL. I remember him bellowing out: "For Christ's sake! What's the next team going to be called? The Warsaw Polacks?" That's the context I grew up with (being a Mick myself). The name was seen as a perplexing shock at the time, as there was a push going on to clean up all the ethnic name usage, regardless of how mean-spirited (or not) it was.
More recently, the vibe I get from some Canadians is: "Yeah, Canuck is a name. We can use it. You can't." So I'm content to leave it alone, except when it regards the hockey team.
posted by beaverboard at 06:49 PM on July 02, 2020
The Mets specialize in albatrosses.
Bernie Madoff will die in prison long before the final installment is paid to Bonilla.
And while Canada Day is being celebrated, a question that has popped into my mind once or twice:
With all the renaming of places and things and tearing down of statues going on here in the US, if the Washington NFL team gets renamed, would some people eventually demand that the Vancouver Canucks change their name?
posted by beaverboard at 12:07 PM on July 01, 2020
If Newton wants to wear #1, he'll have to play on special teams - so say fans of Tony Franklin and John Smith. In the pre-Belichick era, the Pats were a barefootin', snowblowin' bunch.
If Cam does well and they want to keep him on, they can pay more next year once the Brady dead cap hit is gone.
If he gets signed away by another team after 2020, the Pats will get one more of those juicy comp picks that have been a key part of their rostering strategy.
If he fails miserably, he'll still be better off than Albert Haynesworth.
posted by beaverboard at 01:36 PM on June 30, 2020
I saw the story break on CNN online just when a nasty storm line was rolling through the area, so when my wife heard me say "Oh, Fuck!", she thought I was commenting on the severe weather.
She had no idea I was reacting to the news that Cam Newton had signed with the Patriots.
It's a Belichick-friendly one year deal, but still, who in the Foxborobunker thinks Newton is a good bet to buy into the team's approach, and where would he have suddenly gotten the required mental toughness?
Versatility memo to Cam at 6'5", 245 lbs.:
1) James Develin just retired.
2) During the 2020 bye week, you may be tucked in with the LB's and safeties watching Lamar Jackson game film. Any questions, call 1-800-DAVID-FULCHER.
3) Amazon is releasing a new children's book entitled "Steve's Daddy Has Three Tight Ends".
4) Josh McDaniels has been waiting a long time to run the Philly Philly. The previous QB ran like he'd stepped into two buckets of paint at the line of scrimmage.
posted by beaverboard at 09:35 PM on June 28, 2020
Simmons is a bright, knowledgeable, talented guy, but at times is a bit too pleased with himself and the glow of his presence on the scene. Comes with the territory I suppose.
Poor Ohio sports fans - imagine their shock at being made uncomfortable by a Michigan native.
posted by beaverboard at 10:30 AM on June 28, 2020
Very enjoyable hockey highlights. What are those green uniforms?
(former Hartford rez)
posted by beaverboard at 09:10 AM on June 26, 2020
Can't say that I ever heard a Chicagoan say they were in a hurry to get to Garys Indiana.
posted by beaverboard at 11:30 PM on June 23, 2020
Big Bird says: Look, Oscar - Everyone has three names!
It has been announced that Martha Firestone Ford is stepping down as principal owner of the Detroit Lions.
She is the widow of the late William Clay Ford.
Control of the team is being passed to her daughter Sheila Ford Hamp.
The Ford family purchased the Lions on Nov. 22, 1963, the day that John Fitzgerald Kennedy was assassinated - allegedly by Lee Harvey Oswald.
The team has no connection to Detroit native Francis Ford Coppola, who apparently got his middle name as a salute to the auto manufacturer's sponsorship of his family's music broadcasts.
Long suffering Lions fans will not gain a renewed sense of hope from this transition. According to former Great Lakes resident No Ford Mich, it's just another day at the orifice.
posted by beaverboard at 02:41 PM on June 23, 2020
I remember too well the lean years at quarterback in Dallas between Aikman and Romo.
The thing I remember most is the lean years at head coach. I don't know if we're done with 'em yet.
I've always wondered how far the team might have gone if Parcells had a bit more fire still left in the belly and Quincy Carter had been able to stay clean and focused on playing his position.
posted by beaverboard at 09:29 AM on June 23, 2020
Tag and trade time.
By moving to Vegas, the Raiders have suddenly gone from being one of the lowest valued franchises in the league to a revenue rich farce to be reckoned with.
They showed they were eager to overpay when they were in Oakland and couldn't afford to do it. If anyone in the Davis-Gruden-Mayock junta has a special feeling about Prescott and they can find a taker for Carr's contract, they'd be the first suckers I'd call.
If Dak had been under contract with New England, he would have become someone else's roster wrecker six months ago.
posted by beaverboard at 12:41 PM on June 22, 2020
I feel really old now:
RIP Jim Kiick, stalwart of the pinnacle Dolphin teams of my youth in the early 70's.
posted by beaverboard at 11:21 PM on June 20, 2020
The Buccaneers new uniforms look good. They had their new QB help unveil the sets.
The thing I like best is that they made the size of the flag on the helmet just a bit smaller.
It's not as small as the original helmet flag logo that they introduced in the late 90's, but it's smaller than what they've had the last few years, which always looked oversized and reminded me of the funky fireworks shops up and down old Rt. 17 and 301 in Georgia and South Carolina back in the days before I-95 was completed.
It turns out that a fair percentage of Bucs fans were pushing for the team to go back to the old original creamsicle uniforms, but there was some disagreement about whether to bring back the Bucco Bruce logo.
posted by beaverboard at 09:58 AM on June 17, 2020
I'm with you on the time traveling Howard. In our present situation, when the way life was just 8 months ago seems so different and removed, to go back decades is more intense than ever.
I came across game 7 of the 1981 Celtics Sixers Conference Final series and was spellbound amidst a flood of memories. I wasn't a resident of the Northeast at that point and wasn't sure who I wanted to win. I love how the game was played at that time and how it was staged and broadcast. Because there's no stupid music and sound effects blasting away in the background, you can hear a lot more of what's happening on the court.
The game I really want to watch is Game 7 of the 1987 Celtics-Pistons playoff series. In my memory, that was a surreal war, played with such intensity that it was remarkable there was a victor. I thought it was going to end up like the shootout scene in King of Hearts, with nothing but bodies lying under a pall of smoke.
posted by beaverboard at 11:37 PM on June 14, 2020
Howard, if a Santa gig doesn't come your way, you've got good options.
Go beverage. Dos Equis or Schweppes, take your pick.
You are interesting AND refreshing, so you could embellish either brand.
posted by beaverboard at 03:51 PM on June 11, 2020
I don't follow the circuit nowadays so I didn't know that Wallace was driving the #43 car. I didn't know anyone was - I thought that number wouldn't get used after Richard Petty retired. I think just the fact that Wallace is running the 43 car would give a push to the message. When that number is on the track, it's a hallowed sight.
posted by beaverboard at 03:35 PM on June 10, 2020
Always been fascinated by Cincinnati. Home of Bootsy Collins and Marge Schott. That's some range.
Looks like there's a move on to take Schott's name off the ballpark at U. Cincinnati. I didn't know anyone would ever feel compelled or inspired to name anything after her to begin with.
And her little dog too.
posted by beaverboard at 09:09 AM on June 09, 2020
Kaepernick might get a direct apology from the league at some point. He might get signed by a team. That may help matters to some degree. But unfortunately, this situation will never be a tidy, clean cut case of principles finally prevailing.
Chargers coach Anthony Lynn comments 4 days ago (one of three black coaches in the league, and a widely admired man who is extremely upset at recent events in Minneapolis and elsewhere):
"I thought it was a shame that Colin's message got lost because people kept bringing up patriotism. It was brave for him to do that."
"I know when you look at 32 quarterbacks in the National Football League, Colin could have been one of the 32. If not, he could have been a quality backup. For me being an African American head coach, this is tough."
In 2017 and 2018, the Chargers' backup QB's were Cardale Jones, Kellen Clemens, and Geno Smith. I'll leave it to others to find the "quality" in that group.
-----------------------------
November 2019, per USA Today:
"Quarterback Colin Kaepernick will be working out in Atlanta, GA on Saturday for a workout in front of multiple NFL team owners and coaches.
The Chargers told ESPN's Josina Anderson they were not definitely sure whether a team rep would attend Kaepernick's workout. The said the team might send a scout..."
Not knowing if they would be able to draft a top rank QB in 2020 but knowing at that point that Philip Rivers would most likely not be returning.
posted by beaverboard at 09:20 AM on June 06, 2020
As a former Floridian, when I read the phrase "planned safety bubble in Florida", I can't help but wonder how many real estate brochures have been cranked out based on that concept.
Meanwhile, the day to day virus numbers are ominously trending north again. And rapidly so, just since the first of the month.
posted by beaverboard at 09:35 PM on June 05, 2020
RIP Wes Unseld.
A beast in the paint. At 6' 9"
In an era when every team had a big man at center. Or more accurately, a bigger man at center.
Magic Johnson is 6' 9". What Magic did defensively playing center in relief of the injured Kareem in Game Six of the 1980 NBA Finals against the duo of Dawkins and Jones (both 6' 11") is reminiscent of what Unseld had to do every game.
Rest easy great man.
posted by beaverboard at 12:15 PM on June 02, 2020
No mention of why a Brazilian has never won a gold medal in women's Olympic figure skating.
posted by beaverboard at 11:37 PM on June 01, 2020
The two sides to the coin of the current moment:
1) Man, sports just don't seem to matter that much right now
2) Man, we could sure use a dose of sports right now
posted by beaverboard at 08:33 AM on May 31, 2020
I am one of those survivors. The brave souls who agreed to try a free 30 day trial of Amazon Prime and then cancelled it on Day 29. And who then placed future orders as a non-Prime customer and chose the free shipping option.
When you do that, they move you into a new, special customer category and proceed to make your life a living, parcel-starved hell. The secret internal code name for this is UPS Gitmo.
They triage your future orders, and service you accordingly. If you clicked on a ring bound book of large print crossword puzzles for a family elder, they'll send that right along. That's a discretionary item. But the specialty pet supplements for your ailing dog? Those will take days, even weeks to ship, while your beloved companion suffers in their absence. The more urgent and necessary the items you order, the longer it will take to get them.
So carry on, fellow SpoFites. Go ahead and order a year's supply of aspirin and a defibrillator and see what happens. You'll start getting pop up Coumadin ads on your phone and the order delivery will be signed for by your neighbors while you're at the urgent care walk in facility.
posted by beaverboard at 10:21 AM on May 30, 2020
As sports agent Bob Woolf once said, unless pro athletes are also coming up with cures for cancer, they're all overpaid.
(He could afford to be candid. He had already played a big role in setting and developing the salary market at that point.)
So my version of what constitutes fair pay for 2020 is no doubt different from the players' version.
posted by beaverboard at 10:09 AM on May 27, 2020
why on earth would they want us?
In the absence of the PGA golf tour, here's the global confirmed cases COVID leaderboard:
Countries:
1) USA
2) Brazil
3) Russia
4) United Kingdom
Leadership:
1) Trump
2) Bolsonaro
3) Putin
4) Boris Johnson
USA is the runaway leader as they head to the back nine.
posted by beaverboard at 10:33 AM on May 26, 2020
Seems like there should be two venues, one east and one west if such is possible.
If people are still out of work and hanging at home, absolutely, have day games, hell yeah. Outdoor games too, why not, as long as things have gotten so run off the rails.
Dan Shaughnessy should not be allowed to cover any of the games, as he has a keystroke command on his keyboard that automatically lets him refer to Orlando as "a yahoo town". Not that I'm a huge fan of Orlando, it's just that I'm so sick and tired of Shaughnessy's shtick.
This was recently aped by Boston area sports radio yakkers who couldn't stop mentioning that Tampa Bay was "beneath Tom Brady's brand". Stick some scrod up yer behinds, boys.
posted by beaverboard at 11:35 AM on May 25, 2020
The headline may be ladling on a bit too much dressing at the salad bar, but that's another topic. It was designed to grab eyeballs and that it did.
They didn't need that headline to nail down the premise of the story. And the same thing happens in college basketball to a certain degree. Kentucky was never comfortable with Tubby Smith and Indiana was never comfortable with Mike Davis. Both went to title games; Tubby won his. It'll be interesting to see what Duke and UNC do when Coach K and Roy retire.
When the question is asked: "Why aren't more people of color working in top jobs for NFL owners?", I want to know how often the answer goes both ways. Do assistants take a HC job regardless of the situation if it's offered to them, or do they remain patient and wait for a good situation?
Because a lot of the folks that own football teams are characters that a lot of people would not want to work for. If ownership is the Pegula family, is there such a thing as a good situation? When Brian Flores took the Miami gig, how much thought did he give to the notion of working for Stephen Ross? Especially coming from the payroll of Bob Kraft, who is one of the better owners in the league regardless of his fondness for Mar A Lago and massage parlors. The same question applies to Anthony Lynn, working for the Spanos family.
Eric Bieniemy sure as hell can coach and Lord knows deserves a shot. He's currently in a good situation. He could do a lot worse in the ownership department working for Hunt. Is that part of the equation? If you're black and already busting your butt to overcome that professional obstacle, and you know you have to deal with the media and all the other stuff that goes with the HC job, then you look at prospective ownership and realize how much that factor matters if you're going to be able to succeed, do you size up the whole picture and realize that certain job offers are just never going to work, or do you take the opportunity and the money no matter what?
To boil it all down: Ron Rivera, WTF?
posted by beaverboard at 08:47 AM on May 23, 2020
RIP Coach. I had hoped he would win one of the Finals against the Bulls. But not to be. I hope the franchise pays him a fitting tribute.
posted by beaverboard at 10:13 PM on May 22, 2020
As a former Floridian struggling with the absence of sports, it's heartening to see that in the interim, some new forms of competition have emerged.
"Ladies and gentleman, our next bout will be Tampa Death Style, two out of three gallons, no tools barred."
posted by beaverboard at 09:27 AM on May 21, 2020
Johnny Bench once held 25 cheeseburger platter meals with half sour pickle spears in two hands for around 3 minutes before he eventually tired and dropped them. This feat has been commemorated in Qatar.
posted by beaverboard at 09:04 AM on May 18, 2020
Holding a bunch of burgers is one thing.
Eating them is a different story.
posted by beaverboard at 09:02 PM on May 17, 2020
Former Washington great Dexter Manley has been hospitalized with Covid-19 complications. Hope he is able to pull through. He was one of the District athletes who formed a strong connection with legendary sportscaster George Michael.
posted by beaverboard at 09:53 AM on May 17, 2020
Rather freaky watching Bundesliga action in an empty stadium yesterday.
But good to be able to hear the guys voices out on the pitch, which normally are drowned out by the crowd.
The sound reminded me of local international pickup games on the weekends in my area.
posted by beaverboard at 09:50 AM on May 17, 2020
Johnny Manziel impersonates Jameis Winston in water safety instructional video.
posted by beaverboard at 02:40 PM on May 12, 2020
Going in the wrong direction on the DH, IMO.
posted by beaverboard at 10:17 AM on May 12, 2020
Almost freaky how much Tess and Booger resemble these two guys
posted by beaverboard at 03:36 PM on May 11, 2020
In a bid to create more privacy in his personal life, retiring Tennessee Titans president Steve Underwood has entered the Sesame Street Witness Protection Program.
We wish him well as he jets off to a well-deserved week of fly fishing in Montana with Sam Elliott and John Bolton.
posted by beaverboard at 10:41 AM on May 10, 2020
Undrafted Michigan State free agent Brian Lewerke, who recently signed with the Patriots, could have a relatively seamless transition from college to the pros.
posted by beaverboard at 02:14 PM on May 08, 2020
If the president feels that his impromptu list of undesirable foreign countries needs to be expanded a bit, it may be easier than he thinks to get more suggestions.
posted by beaverboard at 10:37 AM on May 07, 2020
Keep talking and nobody explodes.
Officials in California have informed Elon Musk and his partner Grimes that they can't name their newborn son X AE A-12.
Never at a loss for ideas, Musk may next decide to ask Raiders coach Jon Gruden for help creating an acceptable name.
This makes sense, as Gruden himself is never at a loss for ideas.
posted by beaverboard at 04:33 PM on May 06, 2020
58 + feet is an incredible distance for a breath powered projectile. I relate it to the 50 foot target shooting I did as a kid. The idea that someone could spit a seed a full sheet of plywood farther than the range we used to fire at is unreal.
posted by beaverboard at 04:16 PM on May 03, 2020
Glad to see Andy Dalton go to the Cowboys. If he turns into another Titan Tannehill, Dak Prescott and his inflated sense of self worth will end up getting laughed out of the league.
posted by beaverboard at 10:37 PM on May 02, 2020
Watch Belarus sports while you can. Deciding not to follow any WHO guidelines regarding distancing and business shutdowns, Belarus allowed its football leagues to continue and now has one of the highest per capita COVID infection rates in Eastern Europe.
posted by beaverboard at 06:39 PM on May 02, 2020
The base value of Jameis Winston's new 1 year contract with the Saints is $1.1 million with 3.4 million in incentives.
The natural inclination is to wonder what the details of the incentives are.
They likely include a clause encouraging Jameis to continue completing passes to his new teammates. To date, Saints players have caught more passes from Jameis Winston than Taysom Hill.
posted by beaverboard at 05:22 PM on April 29, 2020
SpoFi facial recognition capability reigns supreme. It's a team sport. Asking rcade to send each of our winners a disposable Tyvek hazmat kilt in the team colors of their choice.
posted by beaverboard at 09:22 AM on April 28, 2020
Good work. Kevin Durant is 100% correct.
Glad in a way that you didn't guess both correctly. You would have won the Caribbean cruise.
posted by beaverboard at 08:48 PM on April 27, 2020
Los enmascarados out on the town -
Bonus points if you can identify the two celebrities.
posted by beaverboard at 12:25 PM on April 26, 2020
Not for Belichick apparently. He drafted long snapper Joe Cardona in the fifth round. From the Naval Academy. That was an attention getter.
posted by beaverboard at 09:00 AM on April 26, 2020
Deuces wild:
- Patriots draft two tight ends. That's happened before.
- Hope Solo had twins. That hasn't happened before.
posted by beaverboard at 07:36 AM on April 25, 2020
Took five min. and I'm busier than I've been in a long while.
But now it's happy hour on Fri. afternoon - time to get out the Old Mr. Boston Bartender's Guide and look up the recipe for a Clorox Old Fashioned. I'll get those disinfectants in my system one way or another.
posted by beaverboard at 06:35 PM on April 24, 2020
NFL draft "analysts" as traditional British schoolboys chanting on the playground:
Tua falls to Moscow
Tua falls to Rome
Tua falls to Luxembourg
Tua stays home
Belichick wanted Tua
So the story goes
Then he turned his back on Love
Stidham gets the throws
Every year the draft comes
Teams aim for the sky
If Rosen's on your roster
You draft another guy
posted by beaverboard at 10:59 AM on April 24, 2020
For those who have reached their sports starvation limit and desperately want to see some sort of sports programming on TV, Fox Sports is rebroadcasting a classic NASCAR Cup race this evening.
posted by beaverboard at 10:36 AM on April 23, 2020
It's just that Gronk is...well...um...OK, someone has to come out and say it.
This is cradle robbing by the Bucs pure and simple. Gronk is almost 15 years younger than that other guy.
posted by beaverboard at 01:19 PM on April 22, 2020
The Sunshine State may not be ready for the added dimension that Gronk is capable of bringing to the Florida Man mystique.
posted by beaverboard at 09:17 PM on April 21, 2020
Of course, the $35.00 would be chicken feed compared to what they'd have to pay me to be in the room with Goodell.
posted by beaverboard at 12:35 PM on April 21, 2020
SportsFilter: The Friday Huddle
I'd like to know more about how Steve Fisher figured into all that. He was usually portrayed in the media as a good guy. And sportcasters seemed pleased when he took several SDSU teams to the tournament after getting the boot from Michigan.
But even before the Fab Five, he had to deal with the championship team he inherited from Bill Frieder on short notice that included Rumeal Robinson, who turned out to be an unsavory character as a pro. And also Glen Rice, the future acknowledged paramour of Sarah Palin*.
I'd also like to learn more about the Fab Five's legendary introduction of the baggy shorts. Maybe have to read the Mitch Albom book about those guys.
* Palin: "One of the most important things that we have to engage is unleashing our domestic energy opportunities. It comes down to "drill, baby, drill..."