12/21/24
March 04, 2006
'I Won't Retire Until I've Tarnished Every Record In The Book': Barry Bonds expounds on his decision to stick around for a while longer.
posted by mr_crash_davis to baseball at 01:23 PM - 69 comments
With him not being able to use steroids anymore, he won't be able to last a season. Look what happened to the rest of them when they had to stop using. We will finally get back to true power hitters this year. Unfortunately, we will have to live with the fact that Barry is in the books with record.
posted by cisco36 at 02:02 PM on March 04, 2006
I don't think Barry has anything to worry about. We will all hate him even after he is dead and gone. We don't need any help there Barry. You have accomplished that part. Idiot.
posted by dbt302 at 02:12 PM on March 04, 2006
*cries*
posted by justgary at 02:16 PM on March 04, 2006
*pats justgary on the back* They're just growing pains gary. Stupid growing pains. But growing pains nonetheless.
posted by lilnemo at 02:37 PM on March 04, 2006
I guess maybe I should I have added a parody tag?
posted by mr_crash_davis at 02:57 PM on March 04, 2006
HELL YAH THIS IS TEH RESON I JIONED SPORTFLITER TO TALK ABOUT BARY BONDS AND STERIODS. HES A TOTAL USER AND HIS RECORDS WILL ALL BE TAYNTED BY ILEGLE SUBSTUNCES. WAT? CLICK THE FUCKING LINK? WATS THE ONION ANYWAY SOME COMMIE WEBSITE? GO SOX
posted by thatweirdguy2 at 03:13 PM on March 04, 2006
I don't see how Bonds' ire for the baseball world has anything to do with league parody.
posted by BullpenPro at 03:24 PM on March 04, 2006
I dislike bonds as much as the next guy. He played his best years in what will come to be known as the "juiced era." But he was still alot better then all the other striod users--you can't argue with the facts.... Bonds will ultimately be known as baseballs bigest cheat, he'll even out do pete's status. Sadly for bonds, he could hit 900 hr and it wouldn't change a thing.
posted by solrac at 03:28 PM on March 04, 2006
This is turning into a car wreck.
posted by lilnemo at 03:38 PM on March 04, 2006
Somebody please tell everyone that this is a JOKE, and not real. The Onion is a parody news site.
posted by wingnut4life at 03:51 PM on March 04, 2006
Sad to say americas passion is no longer baseball. I used to enjoy taking trips to Camden Yards and catchin the O's game. I dont know if baseball will EVER recover. With strikes,steroids, and "suburbination" of the game whole entire generations are soured by the actions of a few. Ah well. Football season is only 7 months away. Ive already started stockpiling beer in case the Canadians decide to build nuclear weapons and the price of molsen ice soars.
posted by adanitish at 03:54 PM on March 04, 2006
HELL YAH THIS IS TEH RESON I JIONED SPORTFLITER TO TALK ABOUT BARY BONDS AND STERIODS. HES A TOTAL USER AND HIS RECORDS WILL ALL BE TAYNTED BY ILEGLE SUBSTUNCES. WAT? CLICK THE FUCKING LINK? WATS THE ONION ANYWAY SOME COMMIE WEBSITE? GO SOX I think your brain has been tainted by illegal substances
posted by Dobbstown at 03:56 PM on March 04, 2006
"This is turning into a car wreck." Bonds is disgracing NASCAR too? Has he no shame?
posted by mr_crash_davis at 03:56 PM on March 04, 2006
The man is clearly a menace.
posted by lilnemo at 04:19 PM on March 04, 2006
Which man? ;)
posted by jm_mosier at 04:24 PM on March 04, 2006
I dont know if baseball will EVER recover. 2005 attendance: a record 74,385,295 Average per game: roughly 30,600 - only '93 and '94 were better Prognosis: stable to improving Football season is only 7 months away. Always a good sanctuary from things like steroids and labor issues.
posted by BullpenPro at 04:29 PM on March 04, 2006
bonds should get out and get on with his life
posted by packerman at 04:42 PM on March 04, 2006
What baseball needs to do is start testing BB on a regular basis then we wiil see if he is "juiced up" or not. If he is not, we will see how long he actually lasts. If he is, then suppossedly he will be caught. But...of course those that are "juiced up" are coming up with better and better ways to avoid getting detected.
posted by usroute17 at 05:04 PM on March 04, 2006
thatweirdguy2, here's your sign! 
posted by wingnut4life at 05:06 PM on March 04, 2006
I think your brain has been tainted by illegal substances here's your sign! 'Twas sarcasm, fellow SpoFites...
posted by thatweirdguy2 at 05:30 PM on March 04, 2006
Sarcasm be my middle name, weirdguy...
posted by wingnut4life at 05:55 PM on March 04, 2006
Football season is only 7 months away. Always a good sanctuary from things like steroids and labor issues. Ain't that the truth! Beautiful point. As for Bonds, he's an idiot, granted. But remember a few years ago the uproar when he passed McGwire's record, and the people cramming the stadium and fighting for the home run ball? I thought he was a steroid user back then, and I'm assuming others did, too. If those crazy crowds and constant attention is what baseball continues to derive from steroid abusers, it's no wonder they don't seem to want to penalize the guilty players more harshly.
posted by dyams at 06:18 PM on March 04, 2006
Thats exactly my point. The pure love of the game that once was will IMO never come back. Of course people will come for milestones,recaords, etc. but trust me bein from the so called MTV Generation the interest in baseball is nearly nill. When all you old foggies shrivle up and IPODS are in antique stores and PS3 and XBOX evolve even more hitting a ball with a stick really wont appeal to us new old timers. You also cant put your faith in statistics. If you take out attendance for the Yankees,Red Sox,Dodgers,Angels and about 2 or 3 more those numbers dont look so hot. The average age of baseball fans in attendance ranges from 33 to 36 hardly the next generation while nfl is 18 to 28. During the White Sox Astros World Series the Avg age of viewers was a whopping 57!! Not to mention Football is preferred to baseball almost 3-1 among women. Baseballs dyin you just dont know it yet.
posted by adanitish at 06:46 PM on March 04, 2006
Football season is only 7 months away. Always a good sanctuary from things like steroids and labor issues Your Steroids shot is baseless. Sure a FEW MAY be in the NFL.However baseball had a epidemic that went from top of the order down. Its just like baseball fans to point fingers cause they know there so called hereoes really arent hereoes but juiced up freaks that won by any means necessary. even at the expense of there fans.
posted by adanitish at 07:01 PM on March 04, 2006
Barry is laughing all the way to the bank! Listen to you guys. Barry can't fart without someone writing about it. He has a ton of talent and fills the stadiums wherever the Giants play. Get a life!
posted by BrownDuck at 07:04 PM on March 04, 2006
Your Steroids shot is baseless. That's a funny comment in itself. It's like the pot calling the kettle black! You dog on baseball when it comes to steroids, good job. But then you messed it all up by mentioning the NFL and saying "Sure a FEW MAY be in the NFL." Don't state anything about the NFL's steroid policy until you check out articles like this and this. Or you can go "old school" and read up on Lyle Alzado and what he did with his life. So, as you said, your steroids shot is baseless.
posted by wingnut4life at 07:19 PM on March 04, 2006
Exactly go old school all you want to. Tell you what. We'll start a list of known steroid users IN THE PAST DECADE from football and baseball and see wich one is longest. I bet you can guess the answer. I wonder how many Boone,Bonds,McGwire,Palmerio(sp) stories we'll come up with.
posted by adanitish at 07:25 PM on March 04, 2006
That's a nice little list of players you've listed, adanitish. But, like I've said, you need to read up on your statements before you post them. Of the four players you just mentioned (Boone,Bonds,McGwire,Palmerio(sp)), only Bonds and Palmeiro have been linked to steroids. As for McGwire, there is no solid proof that he took steroids, just allegations. The same goes for Brett Boone. Both were mentioned in Jose Conseco's book. So, we can beat this horse to death, or we can agree that you need to back your statements up with proof.
posted by wingnut4life at 07:42 PM on March 04, 2006
By the way, this post started out as a spoof on The Onion...how did we end up debating steroids again?
posted by wingnut4life at 07:51 PM on March 04, 2006
I want to know why people are bothering to post here in the first place.
posted by Ying Yang Mafia at 07:52 PM on March 04, 2006
I agree the burden of proof is always on the prosecution... unless in a civil matter where you just have to be found be liable. Yes not guilty in one..however in the other i believe the guilty plea would come swift and decisive.its not the before picture im talking about. its the after. i could ramble about stats,injuries,habits, behavior,symptoms, and the 50 percent body mass they pick up OBVIOSLY doin push-ups, but id just be telling you stuff you already know...
posted by adanitish at 07:54 PM on March 04, 2006
Its like those recognition cards in pysch class. they hold up a picture of bonds and whats the first word on your mind? very sad.
posted by adanitish at 07:57 PM on March 04, 2006
they hold up a picture of bonds and whats the first word on your mind Arrogant, egotistical, jackass, Oh, you just wanted one word?
posted by wingnut4life at 08:02 PM on March 04, 2006
ya i guess this year he will only hit them in the seats instead of in the bay. why does everyone have to look down on this guy like hes a god. hes an entertainer not a role model. no one runs around hollywood or the music industry and holds their feat to the flames get a grip people
posted by kdrckrules at 08:15 PM on March 04, 2006
WOW!__Things must look pretty good from up there way atop the moral high ground. Links and allegations are not proof. In this day of CSI, you think that someone has not found a stray hair on the floor and had it analyzed. (Or sold it on Ebay) Please! I hate Barry because he is a Giant. I hate Jeter because he is a Yankee. If you don't like how baseball is run then don't watch. Worry about school bus drivers on crack and your neighborhood priest. Though we think of these people only as athletes they, are also entertainers. I have a great idea! I am going to stop watching Dave Chapelle because he wouldn't be as funny if he weren’t high. As long as the home run is the single most important part of the game, except maybe winning, heads will turn the other way. I am sure some knuckle head will say, "Pitching is important too." With the way money is thrown around for mediocre pitching you would think so. Let's get back to the point . . .You all hate Barry because he was an asshole to you and your kid. He insulted your favorite sports writer. He threw a fit during a press conference. Or maybe . . . He plays a game for a living, makes lots of money and doesn't really appreciate his position in life. Sticky dog food anyone?
posted by Sailor at 08:23 PM on March 04, 2006
Hey Barroid, You've already sullied and tarnished baseball with your 'roid use. As for your kids seeing your name in the record books, they'll know and hear, "ROIDER!! So go crawl under a rock.
posted by samtana at 08:30 PM on March 04, 2006
I don't like bonds but even if he did use roids that doesnt imporve on him being a contact hitter.......yea it helps him with the power but if he didnt have contact he would never be where he is at now.......if he breaks the record for the most Home runs then he will have the record in the books using roids or not using roids........
posted by ShaunWhite2791 at 08:45 PM on March 04, 2006
I hate Barry because he's the worst transvestite I've ever seen. I mean, Great Izzard's Ghost, it's like he wasn't even trying. Fuck him. Fuck. Him.
posted by chicobangs at 08:49 PM on March 04, 2006
I dont know if baseball will EVER recover. With strikes,steroids, and "suburbination" of the game whole entire generations are soured by the actions of a few. "It makes me weep to think of the men of the old days who played the game and the boys of today. It's positively a shame, and they are getting big money for it, too." - Bill Joyce (1916 Spalding Base Ball Guide) "The boys don't take the game as seriously as we used to. I remember in my day we ate, slept and lived baseball. Swing music and the automobile have changed the temperament of youth." - Hooks Wiltse (1937 Sporting News) (both quotes are from The New Bill James Historical Baseball Abstract) Baseball has faced worse times than this (1919 Black Sox, 1950 attendance woes, 1980s drug/labour issues, 1994 lost playoffs) and it just keeps rolling along. Every time someone pronounces "baseball is dead!", I just laugh a little bit to myself and keep on reading.
posted by grum@work at 09:35 PM on March 04, 2006
Baseball has faced worse times than this (1919 Black Sox, 1950 attendance woes, 1980s drug/labour issues, 1994 lost playoffs) and it just keeps rolling along. Every time someone pronounces "baseball is dead!", I just laugh a little bit to myself and keep on reading. Wow you were alive in 1919? Medicine sure has come along way. Agreed everysport has there ebb and flow but the fact of the matter is this isnt 1919 or 1950 or 1980. Im not saying that its the end tomorrow but I do honestly feel baseball is in dire straits. I applaud baseball for opening the facility in south central and recognizing that in fact the mass majority of americans are increasingly losing the opportunity and interest in a game they cant realate to. Over half the population lives in major markets(500k plus) and with the urbanization of America as well the Internet,Ipods,Video Games,Satelite TV,CellPhones,and on demand EVERYTHING its not a matter of scandals and drugs. the question is do we care? In a country where ADD and ADHD is so rampant and EVERYTHING is NOW theres definately some work to be done. Babyboomers and there offspring are definately driving baseball. Football and Basketball is 10 times the action in half the time at half the price. I still dont understand how i can pay 30 for a NFL ticket 10 for NBA but i cant find a Rangers ticket under 45 for gods sake 82 home games! cut a brutha some slack! I would like to get a drink if im gonna be in the stands for 4 damn hours!
posted by adanitish at 10:18 PM on March 04, 2006
Sooooooo, what you're saying is that you hate baseball, and you want to play video games? Jeesh! That's all you had to say, instead of trying to shovel it down our throats...
posted by wingnut4life at 10:23 PM on March 04, 2006
When did he fail a drug test?
posted by Aggie1 at 10:32 PM on March 04, 2006
Hey what could be better than a game of MADDEN with friends?...
posted by adanitish at 10:37 PM on March 04, 2006
30 for a NFL ticket 10 for NBA Come on, I cant even touch a Browns ticket for 30 bucks! Now with Le Bron don't even think of 10 for the Cavs.
posted by jojomfd1 at 10:38 PM on March 04, 2006
oh by the way video games will pass the movie industry in sales this year grandpa. and the average gamer is 31 years old. wellcome to the 21st century.
posted by adanitish at 10:39 PM on March 04, 2006
sux to be you courtside is only 350 for nba for the hornets but i guess thats expected since were "renting" the team. Cleveland is becoming a very nice sports town. im tempted to hop in the gallopy to catch King James live
posted by adanitish at 10:42 PM on March 04, 2006
adanitish thanks for the news flash, Mr. Wizard!
posted by wingnut4life at 10:44 PM on March 04, 2006
Here are the league average Fan Cost Index figures as of 2005 for the following leagues: NFL: $329.82 NBA: $263.44 NHL: $247.32 MLB: $164.43 The FCI includes: four average-price tickets; four small soft drinks; two small beers; four hot dogs; two game programs; parking; and two adult-size caps. It is a sample cost for a family of four. And the best value for your dollar.... Minor League Baseball at a whopping $80.61 These figures are available HERE
posted by elovrich at 01:02 AM on March 05, 2006
I think the Barry on steroids controversy has been blown way out of proportion. Let us not forget that players such as Mark MacGuire openly used steroids before the league or the federal government thought to ban them. No one seemed to get mad about his records then or now. Many players other than Barry have used steroids. Barry seems if anything to have used steroids very sparingly compared to most other big name homerun hitters of his era. Clearly he is not still using steroids. Get a life. Barry has clearly been one of the best players to ever play the game (steroids or no steroids). Are you people so small minded that you have to come up with an excuse for Barry being much better than you (or perhaps better than your favorite player). He is great, period. You will never be able to take that away from him, no matter how many insults you throw at him. Why don't you just let him enjoy his last year or years as a player? Cut the crap.
posted by edlwhite at 01:15 AM on March 05, 2006
I go to the Onion for all my news....priceless.
posted by Nuf Ced at 06:33 AM on March 05, 2006
Wow you were alive in 1919? No, but I am able to read about baseball and history so I can see what other people said back then. Im not saying that its the end tomorrow but I do honestly feel baseball is in dire straits. I hear you, Chicken Little, I hear you. I'm just pointing out that these very words have been said for decades. It's nothing new to think that "baseball is dead!" the question is do we care? Attendance figures would suggest that people still do care. In a country where ADD and ADHD is so rampant I'd like to think of it as "In a country where every doctor likes to prescribe ADD/ADHD drugs for any kid who is 'rambunctious'." And this comes from the son of a VP in a major pharmacutical company. Even if the kids really do need the drugs to be "normal", it still doesn't change what they'll do with their free time. Football and Basketball is 10 times the action in half the time at half the price. Football is "10 times the action" in "half the time"? There is at most one hour of action in a football game (60 minutes on the clock). However, when you consider that the clock continues to run after the play is over (as much as another 30 seconds), and that football plays last (on best guesstimate) 15 seconds, you have a lot of wasted game clock time (nevermind the "kneel-downs" and long counts used to "run the clock"). Throw in the fact that the NFL uses a +3hour block of TV time to broadcast a single game, and I can't possibly see how you honestly believe it's "10 times the action" in "half the time". As for basketball, what does it say about a game where EVERY FREE MOMENT when the play has stopped is filled with music, dancers, giveaways, or some other sort of entertainment. I also can't think of any other sport where the arena/stadium is allowed to pump music/cheers/chants through the public address system while the game is still in progress. If they have to "manufacture" entertainment during the game, how entertaining can the game be on its own? still dont understand how i can pay 30 for a NFL ticket 10 for NBA but i cant find a Rangers ticket under 45 for gods sake 82 home games! I'm not sure if you've taken an economics course, but if you do in the future you'll learn about "supply and demand", which is the main determining factor about ticket prices (and not salaries, which owners continue to shovel at the fans). Then you'll see how your comment actually disproves your own point about the attraction of baseball.
posted by grum@work at 08:47 AM on March 05, 2006
BB? I've said it before, I'll say it again...BIG HEAD, BIG MOUTH, BIG DEAL. If only Barney Fife were here; I've got a use for that bullet!
posted by wolfdad at 08:59 AM on March 05, 2006
Barry Bonds gets none of my respect, he uses steroids, gets caught and then blames the media. Him, Sammy Sosa and Frank Thomas should just all go away like all steroid users.
posted by tim at 09:07 AM on March 05, 2006
Sports Filter is a lot of fun. 'Nuff said. Now get serious. Back in the fifties, I was close to being good enough; had there been steroids I would have taken them in order to gain the extra to make it to the majors, even knowing the consequences, I believe. I think most of you would, too. And, I think most of us would lie about it later. Of course, there are the others, such as sports commentators, sports writers, et al, who are full of shit and have to lie about it.
posted by Bud Lang at 09:10 AM on March 05, 2006
BB? I've said it before, I'll say it again...BIG HEAD, BIG MOUTH, BIG DEAL. If only Barney Fife were here; I've got a use for that bullet! You'd advocate shooting Barry Bonds because you don't like to read what he has to say (real or parody)? That's quite mature. Barry Bonds gets none of my respect, he uses steroids, gets caught and then blames the media. Him, Sammy Sosa and Frank Thomas should just all go away like all steroid users. Anyone accusing Frank Thomas of using steroids is simply indicating to the rest of us that they have no clue what they are talking about. The man has a history of being "pro-testing"/"anti-steroids" and has shown absolutely zero indication of taking them. It should be a litmus test for those that want to join the discussion about steroids and baseball: if you accuse Frank Thomas, you don't qualify.
posted by grum@work at 10:35 AM on March 05, 2006
Barroid Bonds is a discrace.
posted by T$PORT4lawschool at 11:33 AM on March 05, 2006
Barry Bonds is worse than Hitler. He's like Hitler on steroids. No -- he's like Hitler on steroids, with a fat contract and an agent. Hey, it's what everyone is thinking. I just had the guts to say it.
posted by dzot at 12:20 PM on March 05, 2006
adantish, I think I would enjoy getting into an arguement about this with you - mostly because your statements are painfully easy to refute, and your ridiculous assumption that there are more steriods in baseball than in football is high comedy, but instead I'm just going to call you an idiot and be done with it. Thanks for your time.
posted by WeedyMcSmokey at 12:55 PM on March 05, 2006
posted by The_Black_Hand at 01:05 PM on March 05, 2006
they hold up a picture of bonds and whats the first word on your mind? Awesome. The picture I have of Bonds is the one time I got to see him at the Stick in around 1994. I'll never see a better swing or a ball leave the park faster. The stuff about 'roids and his personality can get pretty ugly, but ultimately who cares? Ty Cobb didn't win many congeniality contests either.
posted by rcade at 01:09 PM on March 05, 2006
Do you see what reading The Onion can cause...?
posted by chris2sy at 03:58 PM on March 05, 2006
I'm going to reserve judgement on Barry Bonds until, like Ty Cobb, he climbs into the stands to beat up a paraplegic. Until then, he ain't so bad. I think of him as the Unabomber meets Henry Lee Lucas meets Genghis Khan meets Freddy Krueger meets the Hulk, except with a better feel for the strike zone than any of them. (And I think it's a disgrace that I don't actually know what "discrace" means.)
posted by chicobangs at 04:28 PM on March 05, 2006
I'll never see a better swing or a ball leave the park faster. If memory serves me, I've made a similar comment before. Classify me with rcade on this particular psych-quiz. And I think it's a disgrace that I don't actually know what "discrace" means. It's an event that Jack McDowell's band "stickfigure" holds between sets -- kind of like a "sausagerace" only the competitors are Jack's previously released albums. I'm not sure what it has to do with Bonds, though.
posted by BullpenPro at 12:15 AM on March 06, 2006
Bonds is a disgrace to the game of baseball...why even talk about someone who has to be roided up and hits homeruns like crazy??? The single season homerun record should belong to Mark McGwire or maybe even Roger Marris since even with McGwire there are doubts about substances. And to settle Boone for everyone, he was quoted two days before he retires that "He is going to enjoy having to fight for second base and that it has renewed his interest in the game," and then just two days latter, "I really don't have my head in the game anymore and it doesn't have the same feeling..." What feeling??? The feeling of being on roids and able to hit hrs like it's nothing. Oh and everyone...Onion is not a real news site!!!
posted by djchippy99 at 09:04 AM on March 06, 2006
The fact is, we aren't sure who all's used steroids in sports. Particularly in MLB, with all these congressional hearings. Wait a minute, we're at war and my taxes pay these guys to bullshit about baseball? For shame. I'm sure baseball will endure. I won't be watching; there's no point in watching a game in which I know some players are cheating, but not exactly which ones. Every at-bat is suspect. Okay, some batters are obviously not on 'roids, but with team trainers governing everything that goes into these guys, one never knows. If you told me that a few of the players on the World Series of Poker were cheaters, I'd never watch. Okay, that's a bad example because I never watch anyway, but I think you get the point. Why bother?
posted by Hugh Janus at 01:24 PM on March 06, 2006
why even talk about someone who has to be roided up and hits homeruns like crazy??? The single season homerun record should belong to Mark McGwire ... SportsFilter needs to add an ironychecker.
posted by rcade at 02:39 PM on March 06, 2006
I only read the quoted sections of grum@works posts and could tell the first 50 some posts on this thread were crap (excluding grum@work's thought out posts). I'm going to reserve judgement on Barry Bonds until, like Ty Cobb, he climbs into the stands to beat up a paraplegic. Until then, he ain't so bad. Chico, you have just made me a new Bonds philosophy.
posted by Ying Yang Mafia at 02:39 PM on March 06, 2006
there's no point in watching a game in which I know some players are cheating, but not exactly which ones. So I'm guessing that the NFL, NBA and NHL are off your viewing list? And don't bother looking for minor league games either. Or college games. Or high school games. I'm pretty sure you'll be fine watching Little League baseball, however. Oh. Wait. Nevermind.
posted by grum@work at 04:58 PM on March 06, 2006
Baseball should throw the book at Barry Bonds. His use of Sreroids has Tarnished his Reputation and the records book. Put him in the same book as Pete Rose.