11/21/24
April 21, 2008
Perfect?: Despite Super Bowl loss, 18-1 football team wants "19-0" trademarks
Source: a blogger with a major fetish for celebrity mugshots. Heh.
posted by lil_brown_bat at 12:10 PM on April 21, 2008
Here's a proposition. If the Pats sport a 19-0 record and a Super Bowl win in the upcoming 2008-9 season, I say let 'em have the trademark. Until that time, what's the word I'm looking for? Let's see, I think it's "no".
posted by NerfballPro at 12:26 PM on April 21, 2008
what's the word I'm looking for? Let's see, I think it's "no". That needs to be followed up by a laugh track worthy of M*A*S*H as they are pelted by rocks and garbage. It smacks of the lawsuit between Spike Lee and Spike TV. That one got a hell of a lot more court time than it warranted.
posted by Tinman at 12:38 PM on April 21, 2008
One of my dreams in life is to own and wear proudly around a few of these types of shirts. I would wear them just to get the confused glances as I walk by with my "New York Yankees World Series Champions 2001" or my "Oklahoma: 2007 Fiesta Bowl Title" shirt. Guess I just need to move to Nicaragua. Maybe Bellichek will start wearing a ratty, cutoff "19-0" sweatshirt next season.
posted by Chargdres at 12:54 PM on April 21, 2008
How is this different than Pope squatting? It is buying or reserving something in anticipation of it having future value. The sky is not falling.
posted by geekyguy at 01:07 PM on April 21, 2008
Hey the poor little Nicaraguan kids are going to make out like bandits. Among other things, they can get -Golf balls, bags, clubs, and head covers -Christmas tree ornaments -balloons -decorative windsocks -billiard balls -miniature helmets I just hope a few of those children have the tiny, tiny heads to fit into those helmets.
posted by tahoemoj at 01:09 PM on April 21, 2008
I always thought the point of those helmets was to peg 'em at other children.
posted by lil_brown_bat at 01:24 PM on April 21, 2008
Beelzichic and his minions of evil continue their insidious plotting. The subjugation of the innocent shall continue into the next football season until their ultimate goal of demonic mind control and pigskin domination are fulfilled. *On a related note, I am going to trademark italicized quotes and make a bundle off you lot.
posted by THX-1138 at 01:31 PM on April 21, 2008
Too late for you. I already trademarked the asterisk. Fork it over!
posted by lil_brown_bat at 02:40 PM on April 21, 2008
Not so quck THX. I've got the the finger quote gesture wrapped up already. Not enforceable in print, but if I catch you on film it'll cost ya. Whilst filing my hastily prepared papers to claim my new found booty, there was a New England rep there preparing to trademark the word patriot and all derivations of the word as well as red white and blue and the use of said colors in any flag, logo, emblem, or design. No response yet from the governments of: Great Britain, Australia, France, Russia, The United States et al about the impending lawsuits.
posted by Tinman at 03:02 PM on April 21, 2008
"I would wear them just to get the confused glances..." Man, I could have people confused almost every day of the week being a Phillies, Flyers, Eagles and 76ers phan!!
posted by GoBirds at 03:27 PM on April 21, 2008
Geekyguy has a point. There will come a point where a team will go 19-0 and the Patriots could make a tidy sum off of it. Of course they'll have to settle with looking like assholes for the time being (which shouldn't be too hard actually).
posted by Ying Yang Mafia at 04:44 PM on April 21, 2008
Of course they'll have to settle with looking like assholes for the time being (which shouldn't be too hard actually). Do you honestly think that the sporting public is going to take much notice of this? I didn't see ESPN or SI picking up on it.
posted by lil_brown_bat at 06:20 PM on April 21, 2008
No but people still notice. I'm not saying this will make or break a person's view of the Patriots but it definitely gives more ammunition to those who strongly dislike them (a group of which I am not a part of).
posted by Ying Yang Mafia at 06:25 PM on April 21, 2008
Coincidentally, the Lions just jumped on the bandwagon and trademarked "0-17".
posted by smithnyiu at 06:58 PM on April 21, 2008
"I would wear them just to get the confused glances..." I couldn't tell you who won the Fiesta Bowl in 2007, so I would assume that someone wearing such a shirt was sporting the correct one. This may sound blasphemous on a sport website, but unless one of my favourite teams wins something I forget immediately who won the previous year. Heck, I had to think hard about who won the NCAA basketball tournament last month! Oh, and fuck the Pats ;) Maybe someone should trademark 20-0 in case some other team in some other league with 20 games in a season might go undefeated at some point in an undetermined future? Forget what I said about the Pats, fuck lawyers.
posted by scully at 07:01 PM on April 21, 2008
I hadn't seen smithnylu's comment, who owes me a new monitor! Thanks for the laugh.
posted by scully at 07:06 PM on April 21, 2008
Wow, how did the Lions get a playoff game at 0-16?
posted by BoKnows at 07:22 PM on April 21, 2008
Because, Bo, the Lions looked at the schedule and were certain they were going to lose to BYE, whoever that is.
posted by smithnyiu at 07:31 PM on April 21, 2008
Coincidentally, the Lions just jumped on the bandwagon and trademarked "0-17". Leaving the Falcons to wonder, "Now why didn't WE think of that?"
posted by BitterOldPunk at 08:11 PM on April 21, 2008
Because, Bo, the Lions looked at the schedule and were certain they were going to lose to BYE, whoever that is. Classic. You now owe me a new keyboard as well. Maybe someone should trademark 20-0 in case some other team in some other league with 20 games in a season might go undefeated at some point in an undetermined future? Or perhaps 23-0, just to make the preseason more meaningful.
posted by Ying Yang Mafia at 08:31 PM on April 21, 2008
Coincidentally, the Lions just jumped on the bandwagon and trademarked "0-17". The Lions has the hubris to think they're anti-perfect?!? Just like 19-0 won't happen, neither will 0-16. If they were smart, they would have trademarked "4-12." But they're way too late now as my Jets have "4-12," "3-13" and, on an optimistic note, "5-11."
posted by cjets at 08:44 PM on April 21, 2008
If they were smart, they would have trademarked "4-12." Therein lies the rub, cjets. You used the word *smart*. Only team I have ever known to lose their first preseason game and be mathematically eliminated from the playoffs. But they are my team. And I love them. Sorry, BoKnows, didn't intend on hijacking ... just got carried away.
posted by smithnyiu at 09:18 PM on April 21, 2008
Sorry, BoKnows, didn't intend on hijacking ... just got carried away. Comedic Hijacking = OK Diatribe Hijacking = Not OK
posted by BoKnows at 09:45 PM on April 21, 2008
Has anyone copyrighted 9-7, 8-8, 7-9 ? If not, the Seattle Seahawks might want to get to work on that right away.
posted by tommybiden at 10:00 PM on April 21, 2008
We could still cash in on "19-0" or "Perfect 19-0". What items didn't they list? No mention of small kitchen appliances, or garage doors. How about some "19" shaped bath soaps?
posted by BoKnows at 10:39 PM on April 21, 2008
I'd like to trademark "Damn Patriots", "Stinkin' Patriots", and "God I hate the Patriots".
posted by captaincavegirl at 11:22 PM on April 21, 2008
I'm thinking that the Vikes have the 8-8 covered.
posted by Monica Poland at 12:18 AM on April 22, 2008
I'd like to trademark "Damn Patriots" Is that anything like "Damn Yankees"? Cause if it is, you'll need a lot more music...
posted by Chargdres at 08:41 AM on April 22, 2008
Is that anything like "Damn Yankees"? Cause if it is, you'll need a lot more music... Just remember, it's whatever I want. Love, Lola.
posted by Howard_T at 09:01 AM on April 22, 2008
How is this different than Pope squatting? Hubris. You can't try to corner the market on perfection, as the Patriots are doing, without opening yourself up to a healthy amount of ridicule. I'm surprised the Pats wanted a reminder of the agonizingly close effort to reach perfection. I don't see how they can expect to reach 19-0 again with this team, in spite of the NFL's easiest schedule next year. That team will welcome an early-season loss. This trademark attempt reminds me of the biggest disaster in Jacksonville Jaguars history: The release of the "Uh Oh Super Bowl Song" before they'd won the 1999 AFC Championship game over the Tennessee Titans. They got beat, then kept losing the next season and were never the same until Tom Coughlin was fired and Jack Del Rio rebuilt from scratch. Thanks for the papal shoutout. The way the Pats should have done this was create a shell company, pursue the trademark with that company, then sell it to the Pats after it was granted and a perfect season was in hand.
posted by rcade at 09:53 AM on April 22, 2008
If not, the Seattle Seahawks might want to get to work on that right away. OK, Tommy, that'll be enough of that.
posted by THX-1138 at 11:01 AM on April 22, 2008
How is this different than Pope squatting? Bob Kraft doesn't have awesome glasses?
posted by jerseygirl at 12:20 PM on April 22, 2008
You can't try to corner the market on perfection, as the Patriots are doing, without opening yourself up to a healthy amount of ridicule Yeah, my immediate thought upon seeing this post was, "Thank God. I was worried I might be allowed to forget about how last season ended and not have to see the Pats reviled even more."
posted by yerfatma at 01:21 PM on April 22, 2008
I'd like to trademark "Damn Patriots", "Stinkin' Patriots", and "God I hate the Patriots". posted by captaincavegirl at 11:22 PM CDT on April 21 Oh I would owe you SOOOOO much money! You might as well trademark "@%*#ing Patriots" "Mother@%*#ing Patriots" too! : )
posted by steelergirl at 06:12 PM on April 22, 2008
Can it be?? A Steeler fan (steelergirl) and a Browns fan (moi) having another team whom we can mutually despise as much as we do each other (Patriots).... Well,besides the Ravens that is. :) But you all have to agree, the Browns have to have the oldest trademark in the NFL, since 1965 we've had the trademark on "WAIT TILL NEXT YEAR!!"
posted by Former Brown 89 at 07:07 AM on April 23, 2008
Does Jerry Jones own "America's Team" trademarks? My Dad always felt the Cowboy's should have been called "God's Team" as it would appear that divine intervention always played a part in penalty flags thrown by officials against any team they played. Though after this season I might have to question that.
posted by firecop at 09:22 AM on April 23, 2008
Well as long as this is what passes for discourse around here, fuck the goddamn Chargers, Steelers, Jets, Colts, Giants, etc. Did any of you actually read the link? The trademark application was filed in advance of the AFC championship. This latest "news" is only that a lawyer recently amended the filing to correct a typo - from "toy bans" to "toy banks." The Smoking Gun infers from this that the Patriots remain committed to securing the trademark, but it's quite possible the lawyer was acting independently of the team to fix his own work. I don't see much difference between this and the latest "Matt Walsh orders a ham sandwich and seems to imply while making his order that he knows something about Spygate" pseudo-news stories that litter the ESPN front page for the sole purpose of racking up page views. That said, financially wise though it may have been, attempting to secure the trademark in the first place was an act of utter hubris. Better to pay the squatters later than invite retribution from the gods like that...
posted by Venicemenace at 10:11 AM on April 23, 2008
Did any of you actually read the link? Link? What link? Seriously though, as lbb pointed out, this is an article from the Smoking Gun. I don't, myself, lend much credence to the veracity of their journalistic claims. Kind of like The Onion, except they take themselves seriously. Better to pay the squatters later than invite retribution from the gods like that... I have been writing about that forever. And his power shall smite the unholy Beelzichic so that he and his minions shall be smote. Or have many penalties called against them thus casting them from the Playoffs Promised Land. And there shall be much rejoicing.
posted by THX-1138 at 10:33 AM on April 23, 2008
The Smoking Gun doesn't make claims, it gathers and publishes interesting government documents. The short summary it has given to this trademark application seems like an accurate description to me -- the Patriots have not abandoned the trademark attempt and continued working on it after the Bowl loss.
posted by rcade at 11:21 AM on April 23, 2008
the Patriots have not abandoned the trademark attempt and continued working on it after the Bowl loss. By ordering their lawyers to fix a typo lest someone else get the trademark on "19-0" toy banks? Stop the presses!!!! This might constitute actual news. Or then again, it might just be another excuse for y'all to continue to develop the optimal alignment of expletives and unprintables to express your feelings about the Patriots.
posted by Venicemenace at 12:06 PM on April 23, 2008
Other groundbreaking Smoking Gun news reports: Porta Potty Perp--Hooters Gal Mug Shot--Granny Get Your Gun Not exactly what I would call hard-hitting journalism. It actually lends itself more toward document sensationalism. And as far as Patriots bashing, the comments I have read seem to be born more out of jealousy for their success. I wish my favorite teams were reviled for the same reason.
posted by THX-1138 at 12:57 PM on April 23, 2008
But you all have to agree, the Browns have to have the oldest trademark in the NFL, since 1965 we've had the trademark on "WAIT TILL NEXT YEAR!!" I believe the Lions have laid claim to that statement.
posted by Ying Yang Mafia at 02:21 PM on April 23, 2008
No, that would actually have to go to the Cubs.
posted by BornIcon at 02:28 PM on April 23, 2008
"WAIT TILL NEXT YEAR!!" I heard Michelle Wie tattooed that on her ass.
posted by smithnyiu at 03:24 PM on April 23, 2008
Wish the Patriots would give the rest of football fans in this country a break.
posted by giveuptheghost at 04:43 PM on April 23, 2008
I'm proud to say the Dolphins have obtained print and verbal rights to the word "suck," and all its myriad permutations. Jason Taylor will be foxtrotting to your houses to collect when his schedule frees up.
posted by The_Black_Hand at 06:17 PM on April 23, 2008
I heard Michelle Wie tattooed that on her ass I've.... Y'gotta.... I wish.... Awww, forget it.
posted by tahoemoj at 11:44 AM on April 24, 2008
tahoe, I was having that same conversation in my head. I'm just glad I stayed away from the keyboard. Damn but that's funny.
posted by hawkguy at 11:55 AM on April 24, 2008
"WAIT TILL NEXT YEAR!!" I heard Michelle Wie tattooed that on her ass. I thought she was 18? Or are we talking about something else? (oink)
posted by THX-1138 at 12:25 PM on April 24, 2008
They should give the Pats the "19 and d'oh" trade mark I saw some where.
posted by sportsblitz at 01:37 AM on April 25, 2008
You have got to be kidding. Just goes to show that Belichick's and the Patriot's arrogance knows no bounds. It was with great glee seeing these kids running around in the Pat's 19-0 shirts( I don't know how to make the link look like regular words) http://www.thepittsburghchannel.com/news/15224640/detail.html So does that mean they are gonna try and charge the little poor Nicaraguan kids for the privilege of wearing these shirts?