04/18/24
January 20, 2010
New Basketball League Only Allows White Players: A new basketball league, the All-American Basketball Alliance, is starting up in the U.S. with hopes of establishing teams in Augusta, Ga., and 11 other cities across the south. The league is open only to "players that are natural born United States citizens with both parents of Caucasian race." Commissioner Don "Moose" Lewis asked, "Would you want to go to the game and worry about a player flipping you off or attacking you in the stands or grabbing their crotch?" In another interview, Lewis cites Dirk Nowitzki and Steve Nash as players who exemplify the kind of play he's seeking. Neither the German nor the Canadian could play in his league.
posted by rcade to basketball at 06:07 PM - 60 comments
I think Knoxville would make a good location. There are a lot of nice antique shops in Knoxville, so they could call themselves the Knoxville Knick-Knacks.
posted by Shotput at 06:47 PM on January 20, 2010
Sounds like somebody is trying to troll ESPN...
posted by Joey Michaels at 06:57 PM on January 20, 2010
*jaw drops*
I ...
I hope they sign Jason "White Chocolate" Williams. He sounds like the kinda guy they're looking for.
posted by wfrazerjr at 07:32 PM on January 20, 2010
Shotput, that's incredible.
As for the concept, ugh.
posted by apoch at 07:37 PM on January 20, 2010
Uh....ummm.......ahhhh...... nope...., I'm speechless.
posted by tommybiden at 07:39 PM on January 20, 2010
First, this league is illegal, so who are the criminals again? Second, wow, he really disparaged Larry Bird. People liked him because he was white, and not because he was a good player. So, he also doesn't seem to know anything about basketball. Why am I not surprised?
posted by bperk at 07:55 PM on January 20, 2010
That's hilarious. This stuff still happens? Really? REALLY?!?
Nooooooo. It's gotta be a prank. Are the Yes Men having fun with us? No way people who still feel this way would ever go public about it. No one is that dumb, yet still possesses the wherewithal to actually make it this far.
posted by WeedyMcSmokey at 09:28 PM on January 20, 2010
This league would have done OK back in the 60's, which isn't all that long ago to someone my age. People used to really like their all-white basketball.
I remember hearing an old man say in the mid-sixties after Kentucky lost the tournament championship to Don Haskins' UTEP team: "there will be a man on the moon before they let a colored fella play for Kentucky".
And wouldn't you know, that's exactly what happened.
posted by beaverboard at 09:45 PM on January 20, 2010
Nooooooo. It's gotta be a prank.
More like "Fourth-tier boxing/wrestling promoter trolls journos, promotes self." It looks like he tried to set up a minor league -- or claimed to be setting one up -- in the same cities back in 2001 and this is a reprise with a twist, and probably a second act that's already planned in response to the backlash.
posted by etagloh at 10:37 PM on January 20, 2010
On the one-hand, if he wants to focus so much on fundamentals, he should call it the Fundie Hoops League.
On the other hand, it probably takes a....unique.. set of skills to drive the lane without tripping on your robe.
On the other other hand, fuck this racist piece of shit.
posted by Ufez Jones at 10:50 PM on January 20, 2010
The first franchise should dub themselves the Flaming Crosses, followed closely by the Imperial Wizards.
You're not fooling anyone, asshole.
posted by tahoemoj at 11:44 PM on January 20, 2010
But... white men can't jump. (Joking aside, some of the comments under the article are (perhaps inevitably) disturbing.)
posted by JJ at 05:13 AM on January 21, 2010
I'm interested in who will pay the $10,000.
posted by yzelda4045 at 07:41 AM on January 21, 2010
I'm interested to find out which venues would want the negative publicity of letting this league play in their building.
posted by grum@work at 08:27 AM on January 21, 2010
I...I just don't know what to say about this. I'm without words..
posted by BornIcon at 09:04 AM on January 21, 2010
Commissioner Don "Moose" Lewis asked, "Would you want to go to the game and worry about a player flipping you off or attacking you in the stands or grabbing their crotch?"
Right, because US-born white guys never do stuff like that.
I just got this vision of a button with the guy from the Fightin' Whites t-shirt and the words, "Trust me! I'm a WHITE MAN!" on it. Priceless.
posted by lil_brown_bat at 09:46 AM on January 21, 2010
Fightin' Whites...classic!
posted by BornIcon at 09:57 AM on January 21, 2010
Here's hoping they also separate the whites from the colors when they do laundry too.
(Lame joke for a lame concept, sue me.)
posted by NerfballPro at 10:18 AM on January 21, 2010
Fightin' Whites...classic!
I wish I could say I came up with this one ;-) Check it out here.
posted by lil_brown_bat at 10:34 AM on January 21, 2010
CBA- Cracker basketball association.
I would imagine the commisioner still wears the all white suit with a cowboy hat and horns on the front of his caddy like boss hog from the Dukes of Hazzard
posted by Debo270 at 10:51 AM on January 21, 2010
Wow. Moron.
posted by THX-1138 at 10:58 AM on January 21, 2010
What an idiot. His opening game headliner would be something like the Nashville Nazis vs. the Biloxi Bigots.
posted by jm_mosier at 11:41 AM on January 21, 2010
it probably takes a....unique.. set of skills to drive the lane without tripping on your robe.
The real problem is the pointy hoods.
posted by cjets at 11:54 AM on January 21, 2010
Here's a league for white players to play fundamental basketball, which they like."
Except for the all white part, didn't he just describe the WNBA? The WNBA gets so well attended that people will probably be crawling all over themselves for this league!!
posted by Demophon at 12:33 PM on January 21, 2010
I think he has a better chance of building a time machine and traveling back to when something like this would be accepted then having the "league" actually take shape.
In a related story, David Duke has been tapped to be the coach of the Sacramento Supremacists.
posted by Debo270 at 12:34 PM on January 21, 2010
Who would YOU root for? The Kansas City Klansmen or the Seattle Skinheads?
posted by NerfballPro at 01:03 PM on January 21, 2010
I fully expected the Fightin' Whites to be a promotion of white supremacy. Imagine my surprise, it's anti-Native American stereotypes. Hilarious stuff.
"Everything's gonna be all white!"
posted by Ricardo at 01:07 PM on January 21, 2010
I wish I could say I came up with this one ;-) Check it out here.
Damn, and here I thought it was just a joke. Thanks for the laugh anyways LBB.
What's even funnier is that the Fightin' Whites t-shirt also comes in black.
posted by BornIcon at 02:20 PM on January 21, 2010
Who would YOU root for? The Kansas City Klansmen or the Seattle Skinheads?
Ha! Seattle can't even keep an actual basketball team in the NBA. There are too many hippies here to support a racist, whites only basketball team. Plus they would just demand that the governor fix Key Arena.
posted by THX-1138 at 02:51 PM on January 21, 2010
Two fer one: buy two tickets, get a bedsheet for free.
posted by jjzucal at 03:26 PM on January 21, 2010
Ha! Seattle can't even keep an actual basketball team in the NBA.
I know this is off the point, but neither did Kansas City; that team is now in Sacramento.
posted by NerfballPro at 03:47 PM on January 21, 2010
Jerry west,paxson,havlicek,sloan,goodrich,cousey,riordon,barry,the van arsdales.These were awesome white american players from the past.You cannot tell me white american players cannot compete with white foreigners.Yet most of the non blacks are foreigners,sounds like reverse racism to me.The nba should watch their back,75 percent of the paying crowds are well off whites.When they realize dreams of their kids playing in the nba will never happen.The crowds will shrink.
posted by tommyray58 at 04:25 PM on January 21, 2010
i wonder if NABISCO would be willing to sponsor a team? they could name them the SUPREME CRACKERS.
posted by hlfpaul at 04:50 PM on January 21, 2010
So the NBA is keeping the American white man down, Tommyray58? Sheesh. If the league was interested in the racial composition of its teams, that would put more whites on the court rather than less, since this is a majority-white country. Pro sports rosters are a meritocracy. The best players are out there regardless of race or nationality.
posted by rcade at 05:17 PM on January 21, 2010
I can see the concession stands menu now..
-Vanilla shakes
-Sprite or 7up
-American cheese
-mashed potatoes (no pepper)
-freedom fries
-twinkies
-marshmallows
-divinity fudge
-vanilla wafers
-the other white meat sandwich
-soda crackers...
posted by irunfromclones at 05:31 PM on January 21, 2010
"When they realize dreams of their kids playing in the nba will never happen.The crowds will shrink."
Yes, because the entire reason people watch sports is because they want their kid to do well at them. Yes, I want my kids to be F1 drivers AND boxers AND soccer AND baseball players AT THE SAME TIME!
Notice how the most illiterate response in the thread (one generally puts a space after a period) is from someone seemingly supporting these crackers?
Why am I not surprised?.. Bigotry and lack of intelligence usually go hand in hand.
posted by Drood at 06:49 PM on January 21, 2010
I know this is off the point, but neither did Kansas City; that team is now in Sacramento.
What...You want I should pay attention to everything?
posted by THX-1138 at 07:03 PM on January 21, 2010
Jerry west,paxson,havlicek,sloan,goodrich,cousey,riordon,barry,the van arsdales.
Jerry West was GM of the Showtime Lakers: FAIL
John Paxson won all his rings with Michael Jordan and is now the VP of the Bulls who continue to draft black players for some reason: FAIL
John Havlicek & Bob Cousy: I'll congratulate you for spelling "Havlicek", but that's about it. In fact, I'll just stop here because I'm kind of grossed out that you would use guys (especially Cousy) who played with Bill Russell as examples of some sort of . . . I don't really know what. Ask Cousy if he would have preferred an all-white league. Just don't call me to extract the basketball from your nether regions.
Drood, you'll also note these folks never leave any contact info. Weird.
posted by yerfatma at 07:27 PM on January 21, 2010
As someone who regularly reads this whatchamacallit, and posts often enough to consider my lamearse part of it, I am really proud that of all the comments but one actually came from what appear to be human beans.
posted by outonleave at 09:40 PM on January 21, 2010
Yerfatma,I think you misunderstand me,I'm not being racist I'M just stating a fact.Look at our college pool,there are a lot of very good white players.99.9 per cent of these kids are not going to the nba,but they can still play good ball,I can see a market for a league of all whites,just like the wnba,under 6 foot leagues,european b-ball,etc.Seems to me a team of all white american kids could beat the best greek league team,or the best italian league team.Seems to me you are making a race issue.They might not be NBA caliper but I believe they could be better than any foreign team.
posted by tommyray58 at 10:22 PM on January 21, 2010
Put it this way,I live closer to the schaumburg flyers baseball team(minor league) than the cubs or whitesox.Although the cubs and sox attract millions of paid customers each year their least expensive tickets are about 40$ each.For that price a man can take his wife and two kids to a flyer or a little farther away a kane county cougar game.Plus for the price of another cub/sox ticket feed his whole family and have drinks.Times are tough.can you afford to take a family to a major league game at 200-400$ a shot?
posted by tommyray58 at 10:35 PM on January 21, 2010
Although the cubs and sox attract millions of paid customers each year their least expensive tickets are about 40$ each.
White Sox ticket prices:
5 pricing tiers and 9 sections (for 45 different prices)
Of those 45 different prices, 21 of them are below $40/ticket.
Cubs ticket prices:
4 pricing tiers and 17 sections (for 68 different prices)
Of those 68 different prices, 21 of them are below $40/ticket.
(from their official MLB.com affliated websites)
So, do you want to say anything else, or just admit you are making shit up?
posted by grum@work at 12:24 AM on January 22, 2010
Seems to me you are making a race issue.
Race was the issue the entire time. It was made an issue by AABA's Commissioner Don "Moose" Lewis. He said that the league is open only to "players that are natural born United States citizens with both parents of Caucasian race."
How do you not see race as the issue here?
I can see a market for a league of all whites
So, since there is a market for something, it should then be available? Where does that end?
posted by BoKnows at 01:45 AM on January 22, 2010
tommyray, even if you were right about the economics (and thanks to Grum we know you're not), there is no reason that the minor league team has to be all-white. You're minor league baseball team has cheaper tickets, not because it excludes all non-white players, but because it's MINOR LEAGUE. It's entirely possible to set up a basketball league, offer cheaper tickets, and provide good entertainment without being a racist nincompoop.
Don "Moose Poop for Brains" Lewis is a racist nincompoop. If he had wanted to set up a basketball league in 12 cities in the south without player restrictions nobody would have said anything besides, "Good Luck."
posted by apoch at 05:08 AM on January 22, 2010
21 below 40$ a ticket.39.95 is below 40$.I just went on line and checked 2009 ticket prices for the cubs.Out of 17 ticket choices for one game 2 are below 40$ each.By the way if any of you morons ever went to a whitesox or cub game,goodluck finding parking for less than 15$.Point is prices to professional sporting events are getting out of hand.one beer is eight dollars,hot dogs five dollars.The first time I went to a kane county couger game I ordered a dos equis beer.The vender thought I meant two beers(dos)and gave me two.I explained I only wanted one ,but how much for both?5$ for the both of them try getting that at a major league game.
posted by tommyray58 at 08:10 AM on January 22, 2010
What do ticket prices at professional game have to do with an all-white league? Would ticket prices be higher in a minor league basketball league if black people participated? Making excuses for a racist league because ticket prices are cheaper is illogical. Of course, prices are cheaper. It is an inferior league with little demand except for racist white people, which are a quickly shrinking minority.
posted by bperk at 08:35 AM on January 22, 2010
Point is prices to professional sporting events are getting out of hand.
I agree but that has nothing to do with starting an all white league. Minor league and B leagues exist and have cheaper tickets. Thats a fact. They dont exclude black, mexican, chinese, asian players. As apoch said, You can have a new entertaining league without being a sheet wearing racist.
posted by Debo270 at 08:44 AM on January 22, 2010
By the way if any of you morons..
Please refrain from the name calling. We rather have civil discussions on this site. By the way, is something wrong with your spacebar?
So, since there is a market for something, it should then be available?
Sure, why not. We can have a dog fighting circuit or maybe even live executions. Now that would draw a crowd.
posted by BornIcon at 09:01 AM on January 22, 2010
Point is prices to professional sporting events are getting out of hand.
Well, obviously they aren't getting out of hand if "the cubs and sox attract millions of paid customers each year".
I'm sure some day someone will explain supply & demand economics to you.
Be sure to listen when they do, as it might help you understand ticket prices.
Then it might not be so funny for everyone else when you decide to call other people "morons".
P.S.
21 below 40$ a ticket.39.95 is below 40$.
None of the tickets were $39.95 for either team.
In fact, for the Sox, there were 12 pricing options below $30.
For the Cubs, there were 15 pricing options below $30.
But go ahead, make up some more stuff. I enjoy punching holes in your idiocy.
posted by grum@work at 09:04 AM on January 22, 2010
We can have a dog fighting circuit or maybe even live executions.
Sorry, I meant human executions, not dogs. It would be barbaric if it were dogs.
posted by BornIcon at 09:19 AM on January 22, 2010
Ticket prices have nothing to do with the racial composition of a league.
posted by rcade at 09:26 AM on January 22, 2010
Look at our college pool,there are a lot of very good white players.99.9 per cent of these kids are not going to the nba
Apparently not good enough. If it's not a race thing and it's just about giving the not-quite-good-enough a place to play, why mention the race of these "very good . . . players"? Can't the black kids who aren't good enough (but come from good families, obviously) play as well? We could grandfather them in under the Pino Clause:
"It's different. Magic, Eddie, Prince are not . . . Black. I mean, they're Black but not really Black. They're more than Black. It's different."
posted by yerfatma at 09:41 AM on January 22, 2010
"... players that are natural born United States citizens with both parents of Caucasian race."
Pardon me for this political note, but this sounds like a mixed-race "birther" dig at President Obama.
BTW, will Jews be permitted to play?
posted by jjzucal at 10:25 AM on January 22, 2010
this sounds like a mixed-race "birther" dig at President Obama
I thought the same thing, jjzucal.
posted by kirkaracha at 11:47 AM on January 22, 2010
Ticket prices have nothing to do with the racial composition of a league.
Well, maybe. If a league like this came into existence, I think they'd have a hard time giving away tickets.
posted by tahoemoj at 01:54 PM on January 22, 2010
Greal link Bo. Loved it.
posted by Debo270 at 02:10 PM on January 22, 2010
/sound of Chuck Taylors being dusted off across America