Recent Posts by forksclovetofu

April 28, 2005

Chris Chelios reminisces about a very special coach.:

Well, at least we finally figured out what happened to Jules. This is totally brilliant.

posted by forksclovetofu to hockey at 11:23 PM - 5 comments

April 27, 2005

"A few weeks later, the team obtains Tyrone Nesby, who has an athlete's mind and a poet's body.":

Wizznutzz gets some McSweeney's love with "A Brief History of Bacon: A Quarter Century of Washington Basketball."

posted by forksclovetofu to basketball at 05:46 PM - 12 comments

April 26, 2005

March 20, 2005

Abracadabra, you're screwed:
As if the Magic weren't having enough problems, there goes Steve Francis for what's likely to be most of the rest of the season for kicking a photographer.
Between Stacey's lotion chuckin', the less than acrimonious parting of Johnny Davis and a sub .500 season in which the best they can hope for is to back into the playoffs and get murdered by the Heat, things are not going too well in Orlando.
Having already drastically retooled by dealing a franchise player yet AGAIN, what can the Magic hope to do in THIS off-season to prevent another creaky year for this constantly teetering team?

posted by forksclovetofu to basketball at 12:14 PM - 7 comments

March 18, 2005

See You Next Tuesday:
Cleveland coach Paul Silas calls Carlos Boozer a c**t.
From a player; well, alright. But from a coach? Yikes.
It's even sillier in the verbatim.

posted by forksclovetofu to basketball at 08:36 PM - 4 comments

December 16, 2004

The next time you have to listen to how terrible Ron Artest is: remind the fool in question that Bird, Kareem and MJ liked to mix it up too.
The great NBA fights, minus the obvious recent hullaballoo, to the tune of Bone.

posted by forksclovetofu to basketball at 05:06 AM - 15 comments

August 17, 2004

Lakers trade Gary Payton and Rick Fox for Chucky Atkins, Chris Mihm and Marcus Banks:
The mighty have not fallen, they have collapsed.
Can anyone even think of a multiple all star (in _any_sport) who's value has fallen so quickly over the course of one lousy season?
Gary Payton for CHUCKY ATKINS, people? Last year's NBA Live wouldn't have allowed it.

posted by forksclovetofu to basketball at 04:12 AM - 13 comments

February 20, 2004

Googs and Giricek go to the Jazz.:
Be honest: did you think there was a chance in hell the Jazz would finish better than .500, much less make a run for the playoffs? If Denver slips up and Utah hits the gas, it could happen.

posted by forksclovetofu to basketball at 08:02 AM - 3 comments

February 18, 2004

I got my copy yesterday.:
The advent of the internet, with its easy access to everything from swimsuit models to hardcore porn, sort of obviates the purpose of the SI Swimsuit issue.
I hardly think I need to do a Swimsuit Model: Athlete or Not Athlete.
So outside of tradition, why does this still exist?

posted by forksclovetofu to culture at 10:54 PM - 31 comments

February 16, 2004

The Hockey Humor Video Vault.:

posted by forksclovetofu to hockey at 07:01 PM - 10 comments

February 14, 2004

What the hell was up with that Rookie Challenge?: It ended with each side LITERALLY taking turns dunking on an open hoop. I know that taking an All Star game seriously is ridiculous, but this game had no business being scored. This was not much different than watching a bunch of kids play down at the Y. Why bother televising this kind of nonsense? Am I alone in my outrage?

posted by forksclovetofu to basketball at 01:46 AM - 23 comments

February 05, 2004

Citing NFL Objections, ESPN shuts down: Playmakers.
NFL replies, "It was an ESPN decision and now we can all move on."

posted by forksclovetofu to culture at 01:09 PM - 17 comments

February 04, 2004

The American Experience: Seabiscuit:
Info on all the real life players from the (I feel unjustly) Best Picture Nominee, including Red Pollard and War Admiral.

posted by forksclovetofu to other at 10:02 AM - 4 comments

January 31, 2004

The Jazz rip Karl a new one.:
Also see over here, where they point out that "(t)he skit continued during a later timeout, this time with Jazz owner Larry Miller -- sitting courtside -- accepting a call from the Malone impersonator, hanging up and throwing the phone to the floor. "

posted by forksclovetofu to basketball at 12:39 PM - 5 comments

January 29, 2004

What's in a name?:

The above discussion over in our locker room got me thinking about that most sporting of names: Steve Smith.
There have been S.S.'s in the NFL, NHL, NBA, in pro racing, coaching college baseball, in college track, pro soccer, water polo, wrestling and there are even Steve Smiths yet to be; but the closest I could find in the MLB was Stephen Smitherman. How 'bout it guys? Can Steve Smith play baseball?

posted by forksclovetofu to culture at 07:15 PM - 7 comments

January 28, 2004

The LeBron Line: is an easy way to keep up with the progress of the most-hyped-ever.
At 44 games, his rookie year is looking pretty analogous to Steve Francis'.
With all the cash and fame involved, it would be disingenuous to ask if this is fair, but what the hell: Is this fair?

posted by forksclovetofu to basketball at 05:27 PM - 5 comments

January 23, 2004

Flash Friday Fun::
Knock that penguin out the park, kids.
Horribly addictive. Can anybody beat 321.1?
via snarky malarkey

posted by forksclovetofu to baseball at 12:33 AM - 17 comments

January 21, 2004

NASCAR: Sport or Not a Sport? Are the Racers Athletes or Not Athletes?

posted by forksclovetofu to culture at 11:12 PM - 3 comments

January 20, 2004

"It may be hard to remember this, but the best players in the league are the ones who can keep their composure when the critics are being rough." :
So says seventeen year old Mike Feld, winner of the "Advice for Darko" contest, sponsored by the Detroit Free Press.
Feld might be no expert, but he's only played 48 minutes less professional ball than Donnie D and given Detroit's recent win streak that's unlikely to change anytime soon.
We're halfway into the season now, so it's fair to ask: did Detroit make the wrong call in not picking Carmelo? And is Larry Brown going to be able to keep his little used protege when the time comes to re-up contracts?

posted by forksclovetofu to basketball at 01:01 PM - 7 comments

January 17, 2004

Powerskip: It's gotta be the shoes.:
The videos (on asphalt?) boggle the gourd.
via everlasting blort

posted by forksclovetofu to extreme at 03:03 AM - 4 comments

January 15, 2004

Astonishingly, Bethany Hamilton is surfing the pro circuit again.
The thirteen year old athlete was attacked by a tiger shark on Halloween. By Thanksgiving, she was back in the water.
Ten weeks after her arm was amputated, she competed in a tournament, placing fifth in her division.
Words fail me.

posted by forksclovetofu to other at 11:50 PM - 7 comments

January 07, 2004

Gary Anderson, the bomber out of South Africa, has been a serious feel good story for a league that could occasionally use one.
At 44, the NFL's oldest active player is also the game's career leading scorer, the first man to go a whole regular season without missing a kick ('98) and the reason that the Titans are playing New England.
Gary (along with pal Morton Andersen, no relation)has been a fantasy staple for decades but wasn't even planning to play this season when he was called off the river and back onto the field.
He's one of the greats to play the game, throwback helmet and all.

posted by forksclovetofu to football at 09:03 PM - 10 comments

January 06, 2004

Are you ready for Clammy Sosa?:
If I was Harry Carey's widow, I would _so_ sue them.
caution: retina burning displays of flash within. ze goggles vill do nozzink.

posted by forksclovetofu to culture at 07:19 PM - 13 comments

December 31, 2003

By any other name...:
Fourteen years ago, he goes from here to here for doing this.
But if this and this equal this, can there be any doubt that we'll shortly be seeing him here?
Stay tuned...

posted by forksclovetofu to baseball at 05:08 PM - 23 comments

December 02, 2003

Last week's New Yorker had an EXCELLENT article on Yao. Here's an online interview with the author of said article, here's a swing song about Yao, a whole buncha Yao multimedia and a Cranberries cover about Moochie Norris just for giggles.

posted by forksclovetofu to basketball at 11:39 PM - 9 comments