04/26/24
November 07, 2005
Panthers Cheerleaders Arrested after Sex at Bar.: I guess life does resemble art.
posted by panoptican to football at 12:31 AM - 73 comments
Actually, it wasn't Kristen. It was Renee impersonating Kristen. I think.
posted by panoptican at 12:36 AM on November 07, 2005
Have you ever felt like you're the only person in the NFL's extended family not in the habit of schtupping someone in a slightly (or, better yet, extremely) inappropriate location?
posted by chicobangs at 01:02 AM on November 07, 2005
Oh Boy, another disgusting "non story" about sex in the NFL! I may throw up!
posted by daddisamm at 02:19 AM on November 07, 2005
"Non Story?" Yes? Disgusting? Oh, mais non.
posted by Joey Michaels at 03:06 AM on November 07, 2005
Check Angela's nose. It's almost a faux sex toy on its own. Maybe that's why she was at Banana Joe's.
posted by sandman at 06:23 AM on November 07, 2005
Best article ever... Well, actually...i never read it, but the pictures were great.
posted by StarFucker at 06:26 AM on November 07, 2005
I understand the Vikings are pissed they didn't know about the cheerleaders' extracurricular activites when they visited Charlotte on 10/30...
posted by MAYANKEE at 07:24 AM on November 07, 2005
Wow. I lead such a boring life.
posted by WeedyMcSmokey at 07:54 AM on November 07, 2005
Apparently the cheerleader website has been shut down...not that I've been trying to access it for half an hour or anything...
posted by Texan_lost_in_NY at 08:15 AM on November 07, 2005
Sooo, two professional cheerleaders having sex in a bathroom stall, then punching some other woman in the face...man, I'm hanging out at the wrong bars.
posted by The_Black_Hand at 08:31 AM on November 07, 2005
People would pay good money to of seen that!
posted by Sasquatch12154 at 08:40 AM on November 07, 2005
But was it deviant?
posted by lil_brown_bat at 08:47 AM on November 07, 2005
Official non-deviant sexual guidelines: Missionary position only; Lights out; No mouth-to-gential contact; Never before 9.30pm; Only in the bedroom; No talking during; Massive guilt after; Procreation must be the ultimate goal; Never on the floor, couch, bathroom counter, on top of the washer and/or dryer, in the car, on the roof of your house, out on your screened porch, or in the tub or shower. Enjoy!
posted by The_Black_Hand at 08:49 AM on November 07, 2005
not on the roof? crap. better take those two harnesses and rope back EMS
posted by garfield at 09:08 AM on November 07, 2005
Stupid lack of pictures. Cheerleading lesbos, sounds like something in a movie I have at home.
posted by HATER 187 at 09:49 AM on November 07, 2005
The world needs more sluty people, it would be a happier place.
posted by mick at 10:15 AM on November 07, 2005
This proves there are fleeting moments in time when all is right with the world. Bless them!
posted by willthrill72 at 10:53 AM on November 07, 2005
wow. thar was a borong article and it was kinda stupid except the cheerleaders
posted by skinschamp44 at 10:55 AM on November 07, 2005
It's not about the story...it's about the pictures the story plants in ones mind.
posted by willthrill72 at 10:58 AM on November 07, 2005
Oh Boy, another disgusting "non story" about sex in the NFL! I may throw up! So, when you saw the FPP titled, "Panthers Cheerleaders Arrested after Sex at Bar," what the hell did you think it was going to be about? If it upsets you so, why even read the thread, or even bother to comment? Wouldn't your sensibilities have been better off just ignoring the story? This is what I don't understand: if it offends you, why look at it? I doubt that most Christians would ever have an abortion, but that's not enough; they have to outlaw it for every woman on the face of the earth. Most Christians don't like sex or violence on TV, movies or music, but rather than ignoring it, they'd rather censor what the rest of us watch and/or listen to. If you believe in God, then you must believe He put you here in His own image, and gave you the one thing that truly seperates you from His other creations: free will. The will to do what you want, and face your judgement in the next world, whatever it may be. So lead your life the way you think God wants you to, and be happy that you'll reap your just rewards when the time comes.
posted by The_Black_Hand at 11:09 AM on November 07, 2005
Well, skinschamp, I wouldn't expect this article to be reprinted in Scientific American or anything. If the meaning of life is to find the things you enjoy doing and arrange your life so you can do them as much as you possibly can, then we could all stand to be a little sluttier. (This may not necessarily mean sex; pleasure takes many forms, and many of us have gotten awful used to denying ourselves that which pleases us.) Not to get all Anais Nin on everyone. I'm just saying. And as far as the catfight altercation goes, it doesn't look like they followed the one basic rule of Anchorman Fight Club. Condolences to the Top Cats.
posted by chicobangs at 11:13 AM on November 07, 2005
Life is completely unfair. They keep it all in-house. Damn.
posted by mikemora at 11:14 AM on November 07, 2005
This article has everything--WOW_ sex violence nudity,sports and best of all ,not one mention of TO
posted by Tubby Fan at 11:52 AM on November 07, 2005
Apparently the cheerleader website has been shut down...not that I've been trying to access it for half an hour or anything... Get your quick fix here
posted by YukonGold at 11:55 AM on November 07, 2005
Slutty cheerleaders frankly I am suprised. And that "bar patron" who was punched in the face shouldn't complain I usually have to pay chicks to hit me and call me dirty names.
posted by HATER 187 at 12:09 PM on November 07, 2005
It's not shut down. Just wicked slow. Apparently, the story caused a spike in traffic. Gee, whodathunk? Must be all the SpoFites trying to hit it at once :D
posted by cybermac at 12:10 PM on November 07, 2005
I'd hit it.
posted by cl at 12:20 PM on November 07, 2005
Thanks for that, YukonGold.
posted by Texan_lost_in_NY at 12:39 PM on November 07, 2005
They both look edible to me
posted by maclmn at 02:09 PM on November 07, 2005
</buffalobob>
posted by yerfatma at 02:34 PM on November 07, 2005
Damn, I thought they might have been having sex with the patrons at the bar but no, they were being all selfish and just having sex with each other (and in the bathroom stall too! more selfishness!). Angela Keathley must have been trying to "fix" that other girl's nose since its just so straight and nice looking compared to her "love beak"!
posted by fenriq at 02:45 PM on November 07, 2005
Wow, as of 3:15pm central, it seems to have knocked out the entire Panthers website. When you try to access it through the NFL.com front page the link just takes you to a panthers logo.
posted by karlo16 at 03:22 PM on November 07, 2005
Damn, that Sheryl Swoops sure gets around.
posted by ArtVandalay420 at 04:03 PM on November 07, 2005
Oh Boy, another disgusting "non story" about sex in the NFL! I may throw up! The thought of sex makes you throw up? Apparently your not doing it right.
posted by tron7 at 04:25 PM on November 07, 2005
Damn, that Sheryl Swoops sure gets around. Ten percent is not enough! Recruit, recruit, recruit!
posted by lil_brown_bat at 06:01 PM on November 07, 2005
Sex,NFL, and violance. Do you need me in the porn with the guy that stabed somone at the super bowl? Ray Lewis
posted by Doc at 06:53 PM on November 07, 2005
I was just hoping the story would be a little juicier. Hahaha. Way to go, girls! Hahahaha! Couldn't wait to get home, eh? A bar bathroom is not a clean place...not even the sink. To each their own.
posted by Irish Gal at 08:06 PM on November 07, 2005
Here's Angela's 2004 profile from the Internet Archives. Here's Renee's profile via Google's cache, but that was taking forever to load.
posted by rebeuthl at 09:14 PM on November 07, 2005
Update: Renee's 2005 Profile Angela's 2005 Profile If those don't work (try 'em a couple of times), I took screen captures: Angela & Renee.
posted by rebeuthl at 09:23 PM on November 07, 2005
Follow up: Cheerleaders fired.
posted by panoptican at 12:15 AM on November 08, 2005
Two people off work are charged, but not convicted for having a fight in a bar. They they are fired. Again, before they have their day in court. As for the witnesses...how did they know there was sex in the stall? Were they voyuers? If they could see in the stall it implies there is more than one stall. Why not use one of the others? use the mens room. That has happened before at Banana Joes. Silly rules for cheerleaders. That is conduct that would draw people to panter games, not hurt the team image. Good thing this isn't the same rule for the talent or the NFL would be out a few stars.
posted by ?! at 01:08 AM on November 08, 2005
You know, it is sort of silly that these two women whose main job is to where minimal clothing and look sexy for testosterone laden football fans like myself were fired for this incident. On the other hand, when they do their Penthouse spread, they will make five figures and be able to make the transition to porn with some money in their pockets.
posted by Joey Michaels at 01:15 AM on November 08, 2005
This is what I don't understand: if it offends you, why look at it? I doubt that most Christians would ever have an abortion, but that's not enough; they have to outlaw it for every woman on the face of the earth. Most Christians don't like sex or violence on TV, movies or music, but rather than ignoring it, they'd rather censor what the rest of us watch and/or listen to. I read the story-I didnt look at any pictures-I just commented on how I feel. Thats all I said--And you heap abortion and other things into the arguement. Whats the point? We are all given free will-I have said that before. If you believe in God, then you must believe He put you here in His own image, and gave you the one thing that truly seperates you from His other creations: free will. The will to do what you want, and face your judgement in the next world, whatever it may be. So lead your life the way you think God wants you to, and be happy that you'll reap your just rewards when the time comes. Thank you, the-black- hand thats exactly what I indend to do. In fact, everybody will face judgement when the time comes.
posted by daddisamm at 02:21 AM on November 08, 2005
This is what I don't understand: if it offends you, why look at it? I doubt that most Christians would ever have an abortion, but that's not enough; they have to outlaw it for every woman on the face of the earth. Most Christians don't like sex or violence on TV, movies or music, but rather than ignoring it, they'd rather censor what the rest of us watch and/or listen to. I read the story-I didnt look at any pictures-I just commented on how I feel. Thats all I said--And you heap abortion and other things into the arguement. Whats the point? We are all given free will-I have said that before. If you believe in God, then you must believe He put you here in His own image, and gave you the one thing that truly seperates you from His other creations: free will. The will to do what you want, and face your judgement in the next world, whatever it may be. So lead your life the way you think God wants you to, and be happy that you'll reap your just rewards when the time comes. Thank you, the-black- hand thats exactly what I indend to do. In fact, everybody will face judgement when the time comes.
posted by daddisamm at 02:21 AM on November 08, 2005
sorry but the double post
posted by daddisamm at 02:22 AM on November 08, 2005
everybody will face judgement when the time comes This is not directed at anyone, but it's the judging that goes on before hand that I object to.
posted by owlhouse at 03:44 AM on November 08, 2005
Word. That position is taken, so why not leave it alone?
posted by yerfatma at 06:15 AM on November 08, 2005
Kristen is my favourite... 
Glad she's still on the squad.
posted by StarFucker at 06:20 AM on November 08, 2005
From the "Fired" article... Two Carolina Panthers cheerleaders who allegedly were having sex with each other... That doesn't even make sense.
posted by StarFucker at 06:27 AM on November 08, 2005
What doesn't make sense about it?
posted by lil_brown_bat at 07:10 AM on November 08, 2005
Angela's quote is telling, I'd say: Life is not measured in the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away. Especially those moments that occur in a bathroom stall with another woman. Renee is similarly inspirational: Live every moment to the fullest and love like you've never been hurt. And, if you're interrupted by bar patrons while you're loving, punch some woman in the face.
posted by The_Black_Hand at 08:32 AM on November 08, 2005
I agree with ya boi. I'D HIT IT I still want to know who was on top. However, if I had to drink a six pack. I would start with, Eiessha then, Erin, Gia, Jenny, Kristen and then Kelly, not the red one. Out
posted by Glacier at 08:59 AM on November 08, 2005
I still want to know who was on top. I want to know why.
posted by yerfatma at 09:58 AM on November 08, 2005
I still want to know who was on top. I want to know why. To find out who the TopCat is?
posted by graymatters at 10:47 AM on November 08, 2005
Cheerleaders dismissed. "The two violated a rule that bans conduct that's embarrassing to the team or organization." Apparently, the players do not have the same rule?
posted by graymatters at 10:49 AM on November 08, 2005
Where's the toilet cam when you need one?
posted by Texan_lost_in_NY at 11:04 AM on November 08, 2005
The indisputable . . . Leader of the Band Where's the toilet cam when you need one? At Chuck Berry's house.
posted by yerfatma at 12:06 PM on November 08, 2005
and yerfatma wins the thread.
posted by chicobangs at 12:14 PM on November 08, 2005
Damn it, I've been sitting here humming the "Top Cat" theme song all day. Anyone else find it odd that he had the same voice as Barry Manilow?
posted by wfrazerjr at 01:14 PM on November 08, 2005
Barry Manilow? Wow, your TV had a lousy speaker. :) Here is Top Cat: http://www.tvparty.com/vgifs11/arnoldstang.gif
posted by ?! at 01:24 PM on November 08, 2005
I know it wasn't really Barry, but I've always thought the voice mannerisms were the same. And ain't Benny cute?
posted by wfrazerjr at 01:52 PM on November 08, 2005
Im confused- how is having sex a humiliation to the team- we have all done it (I hope) and it wasnt in the clear view of the patrons in the bar. They were in a stall- and all that noise was them just ummmmm...... them takin a wicked crap, because they know their team sucks- thats why they were in there so long. And then, somebody said something like- "Hey bitch-why did it take so long in the bathroom? I gotta pee to ya know!!!" And then they smacked the hell out of the woman. But dont feel bad for them, now they can be pornstars, and get paid for that. And BTW- Dont you think its funny that FOX covered this story?- lol
posted by redsoxrgay at 03:37 PM on November 08, 2005
how is having sex a humiliation to the team Well, theoretically, they're probably being fired for conduct unbecoming to the team and the Panthers can always claim it was getting arrested for a fistfight whut dun it, but the reality is if they just got in a fistfight this wouldn't be a story or a firable offense. They got fired for being sexual creatures when we're all under a tacit agreement to pretend like cheerleaders aren't on the sidelines because men would like to have sex with them. Perish the thought.
posted by yerfatma at 04:37 PM on November 08, 2005
...because they know their team sucks... They're 6-2 at the season halfway mark, tied with the Falcons atop the NFC South. Follow NFL football much? Oh, it's you...with that stupid, stupid name, I should've made the usual allowances.
posted by alumshubby at 04:55 PM on November 08, 2005
I love Arnold Stang. That man was a comic genius, and the funny voice was just a bonus.
posted by chicobangs at 06:20 PM on November 08, 2005
He really made Hercules Goes Bananas, huh?
posted by yerfatma at 07:37 PM on November 08, 2005
I still want to know who was on top. That's ridiculous, no one can be on top in a bathroom stall!
posted by YukonGold at 08:12 PM on November 08, 2005
Oh, YukonGold, you just stopped at position 1?
posted by ?! at 10:53 PM on November 08, 2005
posted by yerfatma at 06:38 AM on November 09, 2005
damn!... nice link
posted by tron7 at 09:38 AM on November 09, 2005
Apparently, according to one of the links off of yerfatma's links, cheerleaders don't get paid. I did not know that.
posted by Joey Michaels at 01:05 PM on November 09, 2005
Apparently, according to one of the links off of yerfatma's links, cheerleaders don't get paid. I did not know that. That is correct, pro football cheerleaders have never been paid for cheerleading but they do get money for personal appearances, their presence in bathroom stalls not withstanding.
posted by Texan_lost_in_NY at 01:43 PM on November 09, 2005
Panthers cheerleaders. Angela and Kristen are the culprits. Just in case you need a visual...