12/03/24
February 02, 2014
Seattle Wins Super Bowl 0x30: The Seattle Seahawks annihilated the Denver Broncos 43-8 in Super Bowl 0x30, the biggest rout in the NFL's championship game in 21 years. How dominating was the Seattle defense? They scored a safety 12 seconds into the game and that lead held up until the final play of the third quarter. A linebacker, Malcolm Smith, was chosen the game's MVP. He returned an interception of a Peyton Manning pass 69 yards for a touchdown shortly before halftime.
Fastest score in superbowl history!
posted by Mr Bismarck at 06:36 PM on February 02, 2014
Those morons that bet on the safety being the first score of the game are laughing their way to the bank.
posted by grum@work at 06:37 PM on February 02, 2014
BONK.
Safety for first score and kick off off the crossbar. There's a lot of side bets coming in tonight.
posted by Mr Bismarck at 07:12 PM on February 02, 2014
Just got home ... guess I already missed a bunch.
posted by jjzucal at 07:17 PM on February 02, 2014
Side bet: Denver scores 0 points.
posted by phaedon at 07:38 PM on February 02, 2014
Jesus, no one was predicting a blowout; Denver make some huge adjustments at half time.
posted by hincandenza at 07:39 PM on February 02, 2014
They should switch to the blue uniforms at half-time, and pretend it was a different team in the first half.
John Elway remembers his first shots at the Super Bowl being a lot like this.
posted by grum@work at 07:41 PM on February 02, 2014
I can't believe Denver looks this bad. The curse of the orange lives.
posted by rcade at 07:43 PM on February 02, 2014
Biggest Super Bowl comeback: 10 points.
posted by rcade at 07:52 PM on February 02, 2014
I emailed Paul Lukas at UniWatch about the blue unis a few days ago. He said they are not allowed because they are alternates. Only primaries are allowed in the SB. They never in a million years should have worn orange.
Not only is this looking like the pastings of old suffered by both Elway and Craig Morton in orange. It is starting to approach the freakishness of Bears-Patriots.
posted by beaverboard at 07:56 PM on February 02, 2014
At least the Patriots scored first in that one.
posted by Mr Bismarck at 07:59 PM on February 02, 2014
Seattle LB's are playing like they are tired of hearing how good the secondary is.
posted by beaverboard at 08:07 PM on February 02, 2014
Seinfeld!
posted by grum@work at 08:08 PM on February 02, 2014
Who's the MVP frontrunner at this point?
posted by rcade at 08:08 PM on February 02, 2014
Good lord, TD on the 2nd half kickoff?!? This is getting ugly. A good kind of ugly if you're from seattle...
posted by hincandenza at 08:33 PM on February 02, 2014
I believe the Broncos left their offense in "OMAHA!"
posted by jjzucal at 08:52 PM on February 02, 2014
so we've had a safety, a field goal, a rushing td (offense), a pick-6 (defense), and a punt return (special teams) - is this some sort of hat trick? maybe a straight? are we missing any other form of scoring at this point, other than a 2-point conversion?
posted by kokaku at 08:59 PM on February 02, 2014
Who's the MVP frontrunner at this point?
Percy Harvin? Kam Chancellor?
posted by grum@work at 09:01 PM on February 02, 2014
The Curse of the Bam-Tebow.
posted by Joey Michaels at 09:01 PM on February 02, 2014
are we missing any other form of scoring at this point, other than a 2-point conversion?
A rogue?
(Sorry, Canadian)
posted by grum@work at 09:02 PM on February 02, 2014
I think it's time to put the second stringers on the field for Seattle, and let them get some glory themselves.
posted by grum@work at 09:05 PM on February 02, 2014
Wow. We are entering nightmare territory.
posted by jeremias at 09:06 PM on February 02, 2014
Denver is pathetic.
The commercial with Bob Dylan was HOT!
posted by dyams at 09:07 PM on February 02, 2014
Okay, down by 4 scores with a quarter to play.
TIME FOR AN EPIC COMEBACK!
(if this was high school football)
posted by grum@work at 09:12 PM on February 02, 2014
There's your two point conversion. That's the set.
Unless we're counting drop kicks.
posted by Mr Bismarck at 09:15 PM on February 02, 2014
YAHTZEE!
posted by kokaku at 09:23 PM on February 02, 2014
Puff Puff Interception. You're welcome.
posted by phaedon at 09:28 PM on February 02, 2014
You're not playing the Chargers or Raiders anymore, Peyton.
posted by dyams at 09:28 PM on February 02, 2014
Bills fanzz - hold your heads high and have a(nother) cold Genesee. Broncs are on their way to being the first team to lose five of these things.
Gov. Christie must be a Seattle fan. No one cut the stadium lights after Malcolm Smith's pick six.
posted by beaverboard at 09:32 PM on February 02, 2014
The Anheuser-Busch media buyer who scheduled the puppy ad for the two minute warning and paid 4 million for the slot must feel great about that buy.
posted by beaverboard at 09:54 PM on February 02, 2014
#esurancesave30.
posted by rcade at 10:11 PM on February 02, 2014
How the second half felt like...
posted by grum@work at 10:31 PM on February 02, 2014
This was the first game in NFL history to end with a score of 43-8.
posted by rumple at 11:01 PM on February 02, 2014
#esuranceloseby35
posted by etagloh at 11:28 PM on February 02, 2014
Neither Peyton or Tom Brady have won a Super Bowl without Adam Vinatieri.
Neither have won a title with Wes Welker.
posted by beaverboard at 11:49 PM on February 02, 2014
Was Malcolm Smith really more valuable than Russell Wilson?
Smith had 5 tackles, 4 tackle assists and 1 pick-6 interception.
Wilson was 18 of 23 for 206 yards, two touchdowns, no turnovers and a QBR of 123.1.
posted by rcade at 12:06 AM on February 03, 2014
I'd probably have picked Kam Chancellor, honestly. He also had an interception, as well as stifling defense which was the story of the game.
posted by hincandenza at 12:12 AM on February 03, 2014
Smith also recovered a fumble, I think. But really a game like this someone on the Seattle defence has to win it, right?
posted by rumple at 12:24 AM on February 03, 2014
That game kind of made a mockery of the concept of an MVP. If Wilson and the offense never even step on the field, the Seahawks still win by two scores. Is there any kind of precedent for giving the MVP to "the defense"?
posted by LionIndex at 12:30 AM on February 03, 2014
Karl Rove is on FOX saying that the Broncos can still win.
posted by Joey Michaels at 05:04 AM on February 03, 2014
Can't really overlook how Wilson played, though. He made some great throws, kept drives going, and didn't make costly turnovers. But yes, the Seattle defense made the game a joke.
Speaking of jokes, I can't get over that snap screw-up/safety to begin the game. Everyone talks about nerves and jitters players have when a Super Bowl starts, so what does Denver and Peyton do? Instead of calling and running plays, allowing their team to settle into the game, Manning has to start his (often) ridiculous wandering around, yelling out calls, etc? For gods sake, it's the first play of a game you've been preparing for for two weeks! Get up to the line and run the damn play.
It's also scary to think how much better Seattle could have been this year with a healthy Percy Harvin. He adds a dimension Seattle lacked (if you can actually say their team lacks anything).
posted by dyams at 06:19 AM on February 03, 2014
I've never been a big believer in momentum (at least, not to the extent that it seems most commentators are, where a field goal before halftime will turn around a team that's down 35-3), but I find it difficult to believe that the safety didn't have at least some effect on the Broncos. There's hardly any other way to explain how they came out so, so flat.
posted by Etrigan at 07:54 AM on February 03, 2014
That was the first 43-8 score in NFL history.
posted by rcade at 08:20 AM on February 03, 2014
Bills fanzz - hold your heads high and have a(nother) cold Genesee.
So many things wrong with that sentence.
I heard this was the first time two teams involved in an NFL contest put up scores of 43 and 8 respectively.
posted by yerfatma at 08:54 AM on February 03, 2014
Did you hear it from me?
posted by rcade at 08:57 AM on February 03, 2014
Great to see Pete Carroll hoist the trophy on the home field of the team that had once hurriedly canned him after one year because Rich Kotite had suddenly become available.
posted by beaverboard at 09:08 AM on February 03, 2014
Wilson was good and the Broncos really struggled with is mobility - even when they got him in their plan of making him roll to his left - but I don't see how he gets MVP of that game.
Then during Smith's MVP presentation, a 9/11 Truther shows up. I presume the Broncos were running security for the press conference.
Meanwhile, I read somewhere that this was the first time in AFL/NFL history a game has finished 8-43.
posted by Mr Bismarck at 09:09 AM on February 03, 2014
Interestingly, this is the first time an NFL team has ever outscored another by a factor of 5.375.
posted by Etrigan at 09:38 AM on February 03, 2014
Quick, Al Davis -- sign Malcolm Smith!
Apparently, this is the first game in NFL history in which one team's point total equaled the 13th prime number and the other team's total was the cube of the 1st prime number.
posted by holden at 09:49 AM on February 03, 2014
Can't really overlook how Wilson played, though.
Wilson played a Bruno Mars kind of game: it was competent, professional and not especially memorable. And unless Chevy was going to hand out more of those grotesque trucks, they had to pick an individual for MVP.
posted by etagloh at 10:11 AM on February 03, 2014
The NYT's Fourth Down Bot would have gone for it when Denver had a 4th and 2 at its own 43 down by 5 with 8:45 remaining in the first quarter.
Really?
posted by rcade at 10:20 AM on February 03, 2014
Once the game was out of reach Wilson deliberately puss armed a couple of throws to eliminate the hassle of having to get rid of the fugly Chevy.
The real Superbowl was played 2 weeks ago.
posted by cixelsyd at 10:27 AM on February 03, 2014
The NYT's Fourth Down Bot would have gone for it when Denver had a 4th and 2 at its own 43 down by 5 with 8:45 remaining in the first quarter.
Really?
In hindsight, it looks like they probably should have gone for it.
If they succeed, maybe they get some "momentum".
If they failed, how much worse could that game have gone?
posted by grum@work at 10:31 AM on February 03, 2014
The Fourth Down Bot hates punting on 4th and 2.
posted by Etrigan at 10:38 AM on February 03, 2014
I agree with Fourth Down Bot that punting should occur far less often. I am intrigued, though, but it's assessment on 4th & 3 that you should punt from your own 7, 10, and 17-24 but should go for it from your own 8, 9, and 12-16.
posted by bender at 11:11 AM on February 03, 2014
I am intrigued, though, but it's assessment on 4th & 3 that you should punt from your own 7, 10, and 17-24 but should go for it from your own 8, 9, and 12-16.
I'm guessing that's a data set issue.
If there aren't enough examples of teams trying something with those parameters, then it must skew the results.
(Maybe 3 teams have tried from the 8 yard line, and did quite well, so it skewed the results of the 10 total chances measured from there.)
You can see those blank spots in the coaches decisions (4th & 12 has a fair sized gap) and realize that some things just haven't come up enough to give a good measurement.
posted by grum@work at 11:17 AM on February 03, 2014
Grantland, on the impact of Wilson's rookie contract vs. Manning's free-agent deal: "Manning is probably a better quarterback than Wilson, but is Wilson plus $16.8 million worth of players better than Manning? On Sunday, he very much was."
posted by etagloh at 11:57 AM on February 03, 2014
Wilson's so cheap they could even afford to waste $11,000,000 on Zach Miller this year and have money left over.
posted by Mr Bismarck at 12:06 PM on February 03, 2014
Watching that defense last night made the holes I know exist in my Steelers defense look so so much bigger.
Manning is a statue in he backfield and we have once again seen that if you can hit him a few times he almost gets happy feet. He got rid of several passes to early because he was hearing footsteps .
posted by Debo270 at 12:19 PM on February 03, 2014
From a mist enshrouded dark that eyes cannot penetrate I emerge. As I flex the withered digits above the dusty keyboard, a muffled laugh can be heard. Yellow eyes gleam at the words spreading across the screen.
The Seahawks are the Super Bowl Champions! Haters can suck it!
(sorry for going all "fannish" but I've been waiting 38 years to gloat about it somewhere)
posted by THX-1138 at 12:25 PM on February 03, 2014
Rams fans like myself can't help but be concerned, seeing as how the team can improve year to year but being able to leap over Seattle, San Francisco, and a very good defense in Arizona, all in their division, is frustrating to say the least.
It seems a defense like Seattle matches up better with a QB like Manning, who doesn't pose the threat of taking off and running with the ball, than with someone like Colin Kaepernick of the Niners. The Seahawks defensive sipped allows them to move and adjust to practically any receiver, or group of receivers, but when a QB needs to be watched so he doesn't take of for 20 or so yards, that's a huge challenge for any squad.
posted by dyams at 12:46 PM on February 03, 2014
Instead of calling and running plays, allowing their team to settle into the game, Manning has to start his (often) ridiculous wandering around, yelling out calls, etc?
posted by nubs at 12:59 PM on February 03, 2014
Nope, a little birdie.
43-8. First time that's ever happened, I'm told.
posted by rcade at 01:26 PM on February 03, 2014
Grantland, on the impact of Wilson's rookie contract vs. Manning's free-agent deal:
My favorite bit from that is that Doug Baldwin and Jermaine Kearse's signing bonuses combined were less than Joe Flacco earned per snap this year.
posted by Etrigan at 01:26 PM on February 03, 2014
From a mist enshrouded dark that eyes cannot penetrate I emerge.
OK. But maybe you aren't aware of the new "10 Comment minimum" policy that was initiated in your extended hiatus. If one returns simply to climb upon his dunghill and crow, he must remain for at least 10 more comments, which must be sardonic and entertaining, or exceptionally pithy and insightful, or both.
Beyond that, congrats to all of the long-suffering SeaBass fan base.
And maybe someone like grum could run a search to see if there has ever been a 43-8 final score before.
posted by tahoemoj at 02:00 PM on February 03, 2014
The most striking thing to me about Seattle's defense is how extraordinary their tackling is. If they touch you, you're on the ground. No extra yards. Very rarely do you even see the pile get pushed. I've been watching Demaryius all year and haven't seen him bottled up and dropped so easily. Knowshon was running into piles exiting via the same door he used to get in. I didn't realize how big of an impact that would have on Denver's offense.
I can't think of any Bronco that had a good game. That seems strange to me. I would think at least someone somewhere would have played well but it seems that every individual was bested by their counterpart.
posted by tron7 at 02:15 PM on February 03, 2014
I've been witnessing a Broncos fan friend of mine go through what I can only term an epic Facebook flame out over the loss. He went from being furious at Peyton, to the whole team, to the city of Denver, to the state of Colorado, to the NFL, to all sports, and is now hoping all of his happily married friends get divorced so he doesn't have to see updates about happy couples, babies and love. In that same recent update, he's talking about quitting Facebook forever because its brought him nothing but pain and anguish ("like being a Denver fan") and is arguing that people getting married leads both to the loss of their ability to dream and, specifically, the inability of the Broncos to win yesterday.
Yes, I've already sent him a message suggesting he take a break from Facebook and, perhaps, seek some sort of therapy.
posted by Joey Michaels at 02:19 PM on February 03, 2014
And maybe someone like grum could run a search to see if there has ever been a 43-8 final score before.
*POOF*
Hey, are you guys just fucking with me now?
*POOF*
posted by grum@work at 03:04 PM on February 03, 2014
I've been witnessing a Broncos fan friend of mine go through what I can only term an epic Facebook flame out over the loss.
Ask him what he thought of the Coke commercial.
posted by grum@work at 03:05 PM on February 03, 2014
*POOF*
Just for the record, there also haven't been 42-8, 44-8, or 43-9 final scores either, so let's not make this out to being some magical set of numbers or anything.
*POOF*
posted by grum@work at 03:09 PM on February 03, 2014
Yes, I've already sent him a message suggesting he take a break from Facebook and, perhaps, seek some sort of therapy.
Tell him Detroit says "Hi."
posted by Etrigan at 03:14 PM on February 03, 2014
Ask him what he thought of the Coke commercial.
He is offended that patriotism and multiculturalism were used as tools to sell corn-syrup. All right, maybe he's only partially around the bend.
posted by Joey Michaels at 03:33 PM on February 03, 2014
being able to leap over Seattle, San Francisco, and a very good defense in Arizona
Pretty certain moving St.Louis to any AFC division makes them a playoff team. And any one of the 3 teams listed would be the 1 seed if they relocated to the AFC.
Carolina and Green Bay will be better next year, and likely the Eagles as well. It's a bad time to be in the NFC - just ask any fan of the Cardinals.
posted by cixelsyd at 03:34 PM on February 03, 2014
Someone up thread linked to a site where a geek with too much time documents every score combination ever and yeah according to that 43-8 had never happened before. I don't know if anyone knew that before the game, it'd make a good Vegas bet (odds the final score will be unique for the last 100 years).
I'm not sure about 8-43 though, for some reason the site doesn't list that as a separate outcome. grum, I thought you might have some insight into that?
Denver just really got manhandled, which is a remarkable thing to happen to an elite professional team, but it happened.
posted by rumple at 04:01 PM on February 03, 2014
Continuing the saga of my crushed friend - he's taken to referring to them as the Cheathawks, insisting they all use PEDs and demanding jail time for "that thug" Richard Sherman.
I've been reading a ton of stuff about the Superbowl and the Seahawks this week and I'm not finding anything that supports the idea that they've been cheats. Am I missing something or is this just the sourest of grapes?
posted by Joey Michaels at 05:05 PM on February 03, 2014
Seahawks lead the league in PED suspensions every year during Carroll's tenure. Sherman had his suspension overturned on the "Ryan Braun" possibly tainted piss due to inappropriate handling technicality. So yes, there's some meat in your buddies' gripes.
But Denver, as most NFL teams, also has it's share of PED issues.
Overall I'd say it's grapes over gripes here.
posted by cixelsyd at 05:44 PM on February 03, 2014
If your friend feels like telling the Seahawks to take that trophy and put it where the sun don't shine, that's just what they'll be doing on Wednesday.
posted by beaverboard at 05:45 PM on February 03, 2014
I'm just saying if Joe Namath were black everybody would be up in arms today. And I'm the last person to say something like that. Up in fucking arms.
posted by phaedon at 06:38 PM on February 03, 2014
I don't think America would freak out if a black NFL legend in a Huggy Bear coat suffered from premature randomization. Especially not on a night when we had a multilingual "America the Beautiful" threatening our estilos de vida estadounidenses.
posted by rcade at 07:54 PM on February 03, 2014
I thought Joe Namath looked more like an old-timey 1910's college freshman. Get that man a cone that says "state" on the side for him to shout into and he's ready for the 1918 Rose Bowl.
posted by Joey Michaels at 08:10 PM on February 03, 2014
Not so much up in arms, but there'd definitely be some sneering on Twitter.
posted by Etrigan at 08:11 PM on February 03, 2014
So I missed the game. Anyone know the score?
posted by BoKnows at 09:03 PM on February 03, 2014
The Detroit Lions 863, the New Yorkland Jetriots -3.14.
posted by NoMich at 09:04 PM on February 03, 2014
The fact that I can post this is proof that the Lions didn't make the Super Bowl...
posted by MeatSaber at 09:06 PM on February 03, 2014
Man, that was a weird score for a football game! Des anyone know if this is the first time we've had a game with that score?
Also, during halftime, I managed to cast most of the future Red Hot Chili Peppers movie.
Justin Long=Anthony Kiedis (this one needs some serious 'roids to make happen).
Will Ferrell=Chad Smith
Michael Balzary=Flea
I'm just missing a John Frusciante.
posted by Bonkers at 11:20 PM on February 03, 2014
It is the first time we have had a game with that score. See rumple's post.
posted by Ying Yang Mafia at 08:14 AM on February 04, 2014
Steve Buscemi might be able to do a little Frusciante.
Meanwhile, Johnny Depp is getting the casting call for "Clipboard Jesus - The Second Coming".
posted by beaverboard at 08:19 AM on February 04, 2014
Get that man a cone that says "state" on the side for him to shout into and he's ready for the 1918 Rose Bowl.
Smiling. Makes me think of every cartoon from my youth. Only Namath's coat wasn't raccoon and he didn't arrive in an old open top car.
I managed to cast most of the future Red Hot Chili Peppers movie.
1. The Will Ferrell thing is cheating. My wife suspects they're the same person.
2. Casting the Chili Peppers was my first thought after hearing they're remaking Point Break. Replacing Keanu is no problem (Gerard Butler is an upgrade in the abstract). Replacing Swayze, that's some big shoes. Finding a group that matches the WTF factor the RHCP brought to the movie will be a tough task. And they'll need to do it PDQ*.
I'm just missing a John Frusciante.
So are they.
* Another hallmark of old Warner Brothers cartoons. I knew what it meant without ever knowing what it meant.
posted by yerfatma at 08:29 AM on February 04, 2014
It is the first time we have had a game with that score. See rumple's post.
My comment was sarcastic. I was trying to get grum's goat again (though what one should do when one has gotten another's goat is up for debate).
Also, more from RHCP, who may end up being talked about for this night far more than the game will (at least that's what the Broncos are hoping...)
posted by Bonkers at 09:11 PM on February 04, 2014
RHCP does Karaoke.
Big fan of live music and always avoid Superbowl halftime shows. All the canned / choreographed crap can turn even the best performer into nothing more than another musical reality show hairdo type.
posted by cixelsyd at 12:17 AM on February 05, 2014
From a mist enshrouded dark that eyes cannot penetrate I emerge.
OK. But maybe you aren't aware of the new "10 Comment minimum" policy that was initiated in your extended hiatus. If one returns simply to climb upon his dunghill and crow, he must remain for at least 10 more comments, which must be sardonic and entertaining, or exceptionally pithy and insightful, or both.
Beyond that, congrats to all of the long-suffering SeaBass fan base.
Sardonic I can do. Entertaining is purely speculative and based upon one's sense of taste, humor, and perspective. I dismiss entertaining as a criteria for dunghill crowing. However, I can see that your "SeaBass" jab was meant to be sardonic so I will attempt entertaining:
9 to go.
posted by THX-1138 at 06:25 PM on February 05, 2014
I saw her on another video when Batista won the Royal Rumble.
posted by BoKnows at 06:38 PM on February 05, 2014
My friend who was melting down over the Broncos managed to get himself kicked out of a college class by picking a verbal Superbowl related fight that quickly escalated to terroristic threatening of his professor. Amazing.
I love my teams, but I don't know that I've ever gotten so upset with them that I've yelled at other people about it.
posted by Joey Michaels at 09:01 PM on February 05, 2014
Wow. That sounds like something that would make the news.
I like to take sports far too seriously internally, but if I was yelling at other people because of a game's outcome I'd have to give them up.
posted by rcade at 09:08 PM on February 05, 2014
It's weird how incredibly invested Broncos fans were. I guess the combination of expectation and total meltdown really threw them.
posted by Etrigan at 09:47 PM on February 05, 2014
Those fans have attached a status to Elway that is well beyond the bounds of logic and reason. It was impossible to consider that his glorious creation would fail along the path to its anointed destiny.
Denver fans have enriched Vegas to the point where they may be able to buy water from the NW Territories and pay cash on the spot.
And here I had been thinking that John Fox was probably the best big game coach that Peyton had played for in his time in the pros. That was vigorously disproved.
There's bound to be a wag somewhere in Vol Nation who is calling for the Broncos to bring in Tee Martin to finish the job.
posted by beaverboard at 08:16 AM on February 06, 2014
A lovely Broncos fan gives her thoughts on the performance of the Broncos
I only made it through 45 seconds, but I didn't see her spill a drop from her wineglass. I'm kinda in love.
posted by yerfatma at 10:04 AM on February 06, 2014
Denver fans have enriched Vegas to the point where they may be able to buy water from the NW Territories and pay cash on the spot.
You're talking about a subject near and dear to my heart and I'd like to think that if I do my job right, that won't become necessary.
I also wanted to post the magical 100th comment, a bar that we have failed to clear in quite some time.
posted by tahoemoj at 11:27 AM on February 06, 2014
Well, that's an auspicious beginning...