11/05/24
April 03, 2006
Cupless in Toronto: Thirty-nine years after they won their 13th Stanley Cup, the Toronto Maple Leafs remain a storied NHL franchise -- but it's a horror story, according to SportsFilter columnist Weedy McSmokey. "True suffering is the path to enlightenment," he writes. "While that's great and everything, I'd prefer a Cup while I can still party and have a functioning prostate."
I would nominate the Detroit Lions of the NFL to be the closest thing in sports to the Leafs. But at least the Detroit fans do have the Wings, Pistons, and to some extant the Tigers. Leafs fans, well, at least you have good hockey. Granted, it's being played in places such as Calgary, Ottawa, Montreal, and heaven forbid, (gasp), the states. But it's playoff time. A great time for hockey. Here's rooting for game 7 overtimes across the board, every series! (and go Panthers, what kind of Wile E. Super-Genius would have predicted that they would be storming for a playoff spot a month ago?)
posted by RedStrike at 12:54 PM on April 03, 2006
I resent that. Oh, and by the way, Ian White is my personal, or weekly, saviour. I'm not sure which.
posted by garfield at 12:56 PM on April 03, 2006
The Toronto Maple Leafs will not win the Stanley Cup. Where's the hope? They're only 7 points out, with a game in hand. Tampa Bay is playing like crap, and Aubin is on fire. Great column, by the way.
posted by qbert72 at 01:03 PM on April 03, 2006
It will be great to be able to fully enjoy the playoffs this year. Usually I have to endure several weeks of dread that this might just be the year that the Leafs finally win it all. Thanks for that, Weedy.
posted by Amateur at 01:05 PM on April 03, 2006
It will be great to be able to fully enjoy the playoffs this year. Usually I have to endure several weeks of dread that this might just be the year that the Leafs finally win it all. /pulls out six-shooter, points at Amateur "I think you'll be wanting to take back what you just said, boy. Those sort of comments aren't welcome in this here parts."
posted by grum@work at 02:45 PM on April 03, 2006
As a Leaf fan, Saturday's romp against (the usually tough) Buffalo was both a joyful and saddening experience. Joyful, because it was just fun to watch your favourite team demolish a previously unbeatable team (in the ACC, at least). Saddening because there were glimpses of this sort of thing in previous games this season (ask Atlanta and the Islanders), but never in back to back games (or even twice in a month, it seems). The only good thing about this season is that we've had a chance to watch Wellwood, Steen, Stajan, White, Ponikarovsky and Antropov. That's the future of the franchise, and with Steen and Stajan, it's looking pretty damn good.
posted by grum@work at 02:55 PM on April 03, 2006
Leafs fans, well, at least you have good hockey. I believe that the Toronto Blue Jays won a couple of Major League Baseball World Series back in the 1990s.
posted by NoMich at 02:56 PM on April 03, 2006
Oh, and one more thing. Great column. I especially appreciated the "Aki Berg" menu option. We had something similar in our office for a while. If the code you tested ended up screwing up someone else's code, it was "doing a Gill". (also, if you took to long in our hockey drafts, you were forced to draft Todd Gill with your pick)
posted by grum@work at 02:58 PM on April 03, 2006
I was at a wedding on Vancouver Island last summer; a beautiful time, languid days and cool nights, good friends, a wonderful event. The "kids" - all approaching 40 - were all accommodated in one particular roadside motel and nightly, after the events of the day and evening, we'd crack open a few dozen beers and speculate on the fact that we were finally going to get a hockey season again. Most everyone there has lived for at least 5 and in some cases 10 or 12 years in Montreal. People had brought with them old-time loyalties to Detroit, to Ottawa, to Vancouver - but the consensus was that the Habs were most people's team, period. Except for the groom's brother. Who insisted - loudly, and getting louder the more beers were consumed - that the Habs couldn't hold a candle to the Leafs, not this year, not any year. The response was realistic - at that time we had no idea if the Habs would be a decent team this year - and we said so. But... no matter how mediocre the Habs have been this year, and how much we could predict it - it was entirely predictable that the Leafs would suck. The consensus, bottom-line response: 'why don't you come to Montreal for our annual regular season pool?' For Leafs fans are not only rabid, they are hockey-pool homers and easy marks to be separated from their $20 entry fee. THAT you can take to the bank, year after year.
posted by mikelbyl at 03:03 PM on April 03, 2006
Saturday's first period was euphoric. I wondered if my girl had mixed up her herbs with my herbs when making that garlic/butter/parmesan sauce.
posted by garfield at 03:06 PM on April 03, 2006
That was a great piece Weedy. But you must have written it before last week when they won in New Jersey and Philly and demolished the Sabres. Because it is quite obvious that, now, this is their year. Totally.
posted by gspm at 04:16 PM on April 03, 2006
After the original 6 teams there was the expansion and taking in the WHA. After putting teams in California, Georgia, Tennessee, South Carolina and Ohio the quality of play has gone down the toilet. I think the NHL needs more expansion. Teams in places like Ethiopa, Uganda, Zimbabwe, Saudi Arabia would increase the quality of play in the league and make it somewhat respectable again.
posted by joromu at 04:25 PM on April 03, 2006
Another team with the ol "40 year itch". Is it OK to use that cliche under Article VI? Detroit and NJ have won five cups between them in that time. This shouldn't even be mathematically possible, but here we are. Ha! Unfortunately with 30 teams in the NHL and these multiple cup winning teams it may take 40+ years for The Cup to come back around. When it comes to hockey I can't imagine what Leaf fans are going through. But I am a New York Jets fan and, well...you know where I am going with that. Weedy (and other Leaf fans), I wish you good luck in seeing a championship while you are still a healthy young man. Well, as long as they don't cross playoff paths with NJ.
posted by njsk8r20 at 05:42 PM on April 03, 2006
After putting teams in California, Georgia, Tennessee, South Carolina and Ohio the quality of play has gone down the toilet. I noticed you deliberately left out Florida from your "hot-weather-expansion" roster. I guess two final appearances and a championship for the state would kind of ruin your joke.
posted by grum@work at 06:48 PM on April 03, 2006
After putting teams in California, Georgia, Tennessee, South Carolina... Yeah! Goddamn South Carolinians! Why, those apostates put mustard in their barbecue! Take their NHL team away! Away I say! We mush punish those from Raleigh, South Carolina! P.S. - buy a fucking atlas. Oh, and !
posted by NoMich at 06:58 PM on April 03, 2006
toronto sucks.
posted by united-soccer at 07:19 PM on April 03, 2006
Could be worse, you could be a 'Hawks fan.
posted by wingnut4life at 07:32 PM on April 03, 2006
I noticed you deliberately left out Florida from your "hot-weather-expansion" roster. I guess two final appearances and a championship for the state would kind of ruin your joke. Texas too. Brilliant article, though. Cheers, Weedy.
posted by Ufez Jones at 08:13 PM on April 03, 2006
Where's the hope? They're only 7 points out, with a game in hand. Tampa Bay is playing like crap, and Aubin is on fire. hah ha. ha. Unless they decide to award seven points for a win, that gap isn't going to be surmounted.
posted by mkn at 10:40 PM on April 03, 2006
He was kidding.
posted by WeedyMcSmokey at 07:28 AM on April 04, 2006
I was assuming that Toronto must be like Montreal, where each 2-games winning streak is followed by wet dreams about the Cup, whereas each 2-games losing streak prompt the average fan to march down the streets, screaming for management to trade half the team away.
posted by qbert72 at 07:51 AM on April 04, 2006
That was an accurate assumption.
posted by fabulon7 at 08:56 AM on April 04, 2006
Aubin should start next year, which means Tellqvist won't be in a Leaf uniform at all. The new crop of defensemen look pretty solid, and Steen, Stajan, Pohl and Wellwood are a fine start for rebuilding up front. Sundin has a few good years left, and is a solid and respected clubhouse leader. Same with Darcy Tucker, to a lesser extent, and his hustle sets a good example. McCabe and Kaberle can mentor the kids on the blue line, and if they let everyone else go (including Domi and "The Total Package" (I'm totally using that, Weedy)), they should be able to work out some cap room and start to turn things around in 2-3 years. Am I holding my breath that this is going to happen? What do you think? I'm a Leaf fan. I know where the edge of the world is. Good piece, Weedy. Now start losing some fantasy points, willya?
posted by chicobangs at 01:59 PM on April 04, 2006
Wow i hate Toronto really as long as they have that bitch tucker i hate theyre guts GO SABRES and lets just hope they remain cupless for years to come baby (leafs not Sabres).
posted by buffalo will never win at 04:25 PM on April 04, 2006
I can't believe I'm the first to say LEAFFILTER! Oh, and nice column Weedy. I must say that I regret leaving Southern Ontario at the least opportune time, from a mockery perspective... when the Sens are on top and the Leafs are on the outside looking in. Calling all those 416, 905, and 519 area codes after the Sens take the Cup just isn't gonna be the same. So, Leaf fans... if you could rid yourself of one employee of MLSE, who would it be? I would choose Ferguson, myself. Ol' JFJ has been less than impressive in his tenure, I say. I mean, does Pat Quinn really need someone else to sign aging ex-stars for him? Where's the youth? Where's the hope for the future? Why doesn't JFJ say "I'm blowing this sucker up and rebuilding" and be done with it?
posted by Succa at 09:00 PM on April 04, 2006
Succa, nice to see you around these parts again. It's been a while. JFJ hasn't been spectactular but I don't think he has been horrid either. He has revamped the scouting department and installed Maurice to help develop the Leafs' young talent. And by the looks of the rookie crop this year, Maurice is doing a fine job. JFJ couldn't blow up the team for shareholder reasons, but I think he was right not to. His swapping of defenders was more for a couple of years of development of an offensive talent than anything else. And I have no problem with Klee leaving. His play this season was sub-par. One thing JFJ didn't do, but possibly could have done, was slip some unsuspecting contender a Belfour for a high draft pick. That would've been a coup. And we'll have to see what happens with McCabe. If he leaves for nothing, then my opinion of JFJ will take a bit hit. Basically, JFJ screwed up with the 03-04 push for a Cup, giving up so many good prospects that would've been starters this year. And with all the previous misdealings by his predecessor, JFJ's hands are now somewhat tied. I think he has a plan, but it isn't a miraculous turn around in one season. And to fire him now, just when the pieces are in place and beginning to show results, would be premature. Besides, not much was realistically expected of the team this year. Their place in the standings for most of the season was misleading. Without the powerplay, the Leafs were an obvious bottom-10 team.
posted by garfield at 09:28 AM on April 05, 2006
That was a great and strangely cathartic read.