04/25/24
March 16, 2010
Tiger Woods Will Return to Play Masters: Tiger Woods will return to golf on April 8 to play this year's Masters, he said in a statement. "The Masters is where I won my first major and I view this tournament with great respect," he said. "After a long and necessary time away from the game, I feel like I'm ready to start my season at Augusta. The major championships have always been a special focus in my career and, as a professional, I think Augusta is where I need to be, even though it's been a while since I last played." Since World War II, only Ben Hogan has started a golf season with this event and won it.
I'll be watching this year's Masters with the inclination that Tiger will win it.
posted by BornIcon at 01:59 PM on March 16, 2010
Great news, IMO. Was having trouble watching the sport knowing that the best player in the world wasn't out there.
posted by DudeDykstra at 02:06 PM on March 16, 2010
I view this tournament with great respect
The snarky response writes itself.
posted by owlhouse at 04:04 PM on March 16, 2010
I'll be watching this year's Masters with the inclination that Tiger will win it.
I don't know. He probably hasn't had sex since November. Think about it.
posted by smithnyiu at 05:09 PM on March 16, 2010
That's why he's looking forward to this year's Champions Dinner at Augusta.
Lamb will be on the menu. Choice of rack or leg.
posted by beaverboard at 05:11 PM on March 16, 2010
So how many tournaments that he actually would have participated in did Tiger actually miss?
posted by dyams at 05:17 PM on March 16, 2010
I view this tournament with great respect.
My family, not so much.
posted by wfrazerjr at 05:33 PM on March 16, 2010
He probably hasn't had sex since November.
Wasn't he seeing a sex therapist for his addiction? I think the process is to wean them off slowly, not just go cold turkey.
posted by irunfromclones at 07:57 PM on March 16, 2010
Ask to see a license for any sex therapist who presents you with the cold turkey option. Or at least a baster.
posted by yerfatma at 08:01 PM on March 16, 2010
I don't think I like the baster option at all. I don't care if the therapist has a license for it or not.
posted by BoKnows at 08:13 PM on March 16, 2010
I don't think I like the baster option at all.
For me, it depends on whether I'm the baster or the bastee.
I'm pleased to say that I have mastered the art of basting.
posted by Joey Michaels at 08:25 PM on March 16, 2010
I'm pleased to say that I have mastered the art of basting.
Besides being hilarious, wfrazerjr said that yerfatma mastered the art at age 8.
posted by irunfromclones at 09:20 PM on March 16, 2010
Geez-I was just going to pop in and tell everyone that I didn't give a damn about the thread, but this is unexpected. Master basters, questionable acts with chilled poultry, and general innuendo galore! Gosh, I guess it's o.k. for y'all to care about Tiger.
posted by tahoemoj at 10:15 PM on March 16, 2010
I haven't gone through and looked at the chronology carefully, but I don't think Tiger had a multiple lady friend problem until he holed that round the world Duncan yo yo putt on 16 at Augusta a few years ago. The one that hesitated at the lip, then went in.
At that point, I think women just thought "this is ridiculous" and started taking off their clothes.
If I was a waitress and I saw that putt, I would have taken off my Waffle House uniform and started texting on the spot.
If you were a pro golfer and needed sex therapy, wouldn't you want your therapist to be named Rocco Mediate?
posted by beaverboard at 11:05 PM on March 16, 2010
Last time Tiger played, his balls were getting a lot of respect, not so much anymore, we'll see how he handles that.
Mastering the art of basting by age 8 iis very impressive indeed, I was at least 7th/8th grade by the time I got a handle on it.
posted by dviking at 11:38 PM on March 16, 2010
Besides being hilarious, wfrazerjr said that yerfatma mastered the art at age 8.
I was always an early riser.
posted by yerfatma at 08:46 AM on March 17, 2010
I can't seem to link the video, but if you go to youtube and find Padraig Harrington on Tiger. It is so....Irish and perfect.
posted by gfinsf at 10:14 AM on March 17, 2010
and find Padraig Harrington on Tiger
Wait, he's into that too?
posted by smithnyiu at 10:34 AM on March 17, 2010
I will be selling T- shirts outside the enterance to Agusta. They will have pictures of all of Tiger's ladies on the front and "GET IN THE HOLE" on the back. I am taking pre-ordeers now if you want!!
posted by Debo270 at 11:28 AM on March 17, 2010
Mastering the art of basting by age 8 iis very impressive indeed, I was at least 7th/8th grade by the time I got a handle on it.
It's good to really establish one's credentials. Now you could be called a "master baster".
posted by Howard_T at 02:12 PM on March 17, 2010
Well it's Tiger Woods official. He will play at the Masters, not before. Got to have the biggest stage for the most attention.