04/18/24
September 12, 2007
Going Nuts Over College Football Rivalries: Be warned, especially the male among ye: it's gonna get real cringeworty, real quick. EXTREME SCROTAL DAMAGE AHEAD! Thankfully, no pictures.
posted by The_Black_Hand to football at 11:38 AM - 15 comments
"Going nuts." Heh.
posted by Joey Michaels at 11:43 AM on September 12, 2007
As a young man in Columbus, I once thrashed a Michigan fan within an inch of his life using his own toy poodle. It's amazing how much damage a wee dog can do when properly wielded.
posted by tahoemoj at 12:02 PM on September 12, 2007
I can say with all honesty, as having personally visited every city in the BIG 12 conference, this is not the rule, but the exception, to the treatment out of town visitors can expect when visiting these locales and supporting their team.
posted by yourhomeking at 12:20 PM on September 12, 2007
Ouch! And I thought the Steelers/Browns rivalry was bad! Sheesh. (I take a lot of abuse for Steeler apparel in an Ohio town) Good thing he wasn't married or they could have thrown in loss of consortium and companionship.
posted by steelergirl at 01:11 PM on September 12, 2007
I can say with all honesty, as having personally visited every city in the BIG 12 conference, this is not the rule, but the exception, You must have never been in Columbia, Missouri for a Mizzou/Kansas Basketball game. As a rabid Jayhawk fan, I can tell you it can get dangerous.
posted by hawkguy at 01:16 PM on September 12, 2007
This reminds me of a video I think you posted in the locker room a while back TBH, when some Florida fans put up a statue of the gator on the Ohio State campus. Needless to say the gator didn't last long. I could search for the said video but my internet-fu skills are few and far between.
posted by Ying Yang Mafia at 02:25 PM on September 12, 2007
Wow. That post sure took a lot of balls.
posted by worldcup2002 at 02:57 PM on September 12, 2007
/yawn A common occurrence at bars here in San Francisco.
posted by irunfromclones at 03:25 PM on September 12, 2007
A common occurrence at bars here in San Francisco. Well, grabbing guys' balls, sure, but actually attempting to seperate them from the body? That's a bit much, even for San Francisco.
posted by The_Black_Hand at 03:46 PM on September 12, 2007
Living in the Greater New York area most of my life, I never really "got" the whole college rivalry thing. My Pop is a proud Michagander and raised me to hate Buckeyes (I have no idea what those are, some kind of nut maybe) and the Fightin' Irish (when he told me "son, you gotta hate those Fightin' Irish" I said "pop, is there any other kind?") I can only assume this has something to do with his prejudice. I recently spent an extended peroid of time in beautiful Wilmington NC and had my first real exposure to college basketball rivalry. Wilmington was mostly Tar Heel country. I could not root for Michael Jordan's Alma Mata so I had to rock some Duke gear. Even in the heart of Tar Heel fandom, wearing Duke garb, nobody tried to grab my balls, except my lady friend and not nearly often enough for my taste.
posted by HATER 187 at 04:55 PM on September 12, 2007
As much as I enjoyed your list of players you'd punch in the face, I'd hate to see the list of players who's balls you'd rip off.
posted by apoch at 05:22 PM on September 12, 2007
Dear ball ripping Oklahoma zealot, Dude, your karma just went, like, way down the crapper. Your homies are gonna flip you so much crap. Someone down the road is gonna try to pay you back. And your still gonna have to live in Oklahoma once you get outta jail. (OK, that last part was uncalled for. I've never even been to Oklahoma)
posted by THX-1138 at 05:52 PM on September 12, 2007
Oklahoma hate crime statute: No person shall maliciously and with the specific intent to intimidate or harass another person because of that person's race, color, religion, ancestry, national origin or disability. In Texas, UT football is a religion. In Oklahoma, it is a disability. So either way, I think it's a hate crime.
posted by graymatters at 06:12 PM on September 12, 2007
What sort of response is Oklahoma Guy going to get in prison? "Fish, what are you in for?" "I ripped some guys scrotum off for wearing a UT shirt, what the fuck's it to you?" "Never mind. I am going to pester Tax Evasion Guy about that questionable shelter I 'm working on."
posted by kyrilmitch_76 at 09:12 PM on September 12, 2007
And, in yet another affront to God by those who claim to worship and serve Him, the grabber in this story is a church deacon. Do NOT fuck with this guy when he comes around with the collection tray. Amen!