November 22, 2005

Takeru “The Tsunami” Kobayashi sets a new world hamburger-eating record :

"69 Krystals in eight minutes is astounding. Kobayashi is, without a doubt, the greatest eater ever to live upon planet earth," said David Baer of the International Federation of Competitive Eating.

Sonya "The Black Widow" Thomas, the 102-pound phenom from Alexandria, VA, took second place and $5,000 by eating 46 Krystal hamburgers and rounding out third for $2,500 was Richard "The Locust" LeFevre of Henderson, NV, with 41 Krystal hamburgers.



posted by justgary to other at 01:40 AM - 38 comments

Not sport, and not the sort of thing one wants to wake up to reading. :)

posted by scully at 06:13 AM on November 22, 2005

I respectfully disagree. Kobayashi is a phenomenon, and if you get a chance to see him in person, do it; his talent (and yes, it's a skill) is actually compelling. Sonya Thomas is crazy too. That said, how can you call it a record if this is the first time they've held the event? Not all humburgers are made alike, and those guys should know. Anyway, I'm hungry now. I'ma get me a few dozen sandwiches and a bucket of joe.

posted by chicobangs at 06:38 AM on November 22, 2005

69 Krystals isn't as impressive as it sounds. It's a Southern chain that serves tiny White Castle-style burgers that are 2-inches square and have a pickle, a couple onions and a postage stamp of meat slathered in grease. Competitive eating grosses me out. But it figures that we'd be a generation that celebrates gluttony.

posted by rcade at 07:08 AM on November 22, 2005

If you consider this a sport, then don't ever, ever let me hear you badmouthing NASCAR again.

posted by The_Black_Hand at 07:29 AM on November 22, 2005

If eating is a sport, then is starving a sport too? It takes more effort to stay alive if you havent eaten than it does to eat a lot and not puke. imho.

posted by Drallig9399 at 07:32 AM on November 22, 2005

Nicely said T_B_H......went to my first in North Wilksboro....and will never forget sitting in the first turn thinking this will never hapen.......33 beautiful cars with a sound like no other............gotta crash!!!!...........this is a "sport" with people with skill that many people can't imagine.......Then after the race was able to go to the pits.... walking down a slope to the pits that I never realized was so steep...then was able to walk over to Richard Petty's car, looked inside and a plate over the "glove compartment" said "War Dog1"....never forget it....By the way Harry Gant won the race.... I played football, baseball, basketball.......would never have the guts to do what they do........ Probably shouldn't post this here but had to.....GO "OLD NASCAR"..........

posted by gfinsf at 07:59 AM on November 22, 2005

No not a sport, but a challenge, a game, a contest and all those other fun words that aren't quite sport. I'm just impressed that the skinny Japanese guy and the even skinnier American women put the rest of the fat asses to shame. Seems sort of unfair that the obese can't even win that which makes the most sense - and likely the only competition they'd want to go to. I've never seen these Krystal burgers they're talking about. I've also never had a 'slider'. But two or three times a year I eat an entire bucket of KFC, so I have some good experience with gluttony. At times I am convinced my housemate could be a competitive eater. Whatever would keep him from eating in front of me sounds good. My god, watch your fingers.

posted by WeedyMcSmokey at 08:03 AM on November 22, 2005

25 white castles in one sitting is my record. I hate my bowels.

posted by HATER 187 at 09:06 AM on November 22, 2005

Kobayashi is, without a doubt, the greatest eater ever to live upon planet earth Human eater. I'm thinking the blue whale has got him beat: During the first 7 months of its life, a baby Blue Whale drinks approximately 400 litres (100 U.S. gallons) of milk every day. Baby Blue Whales also gain weight quickly: 90 kg (200 pounds) every 24 hours. That said, I think it is a sport and it makes me sick to think of how he accomplishes this feat. I'm still awaiting word that there is a small nuclear fission reactor in his belly.

posted by grum@work at 09:48 AM on November 22, 2005

'Tis no man, 'tis a remorseless eating machine...

posted by chris2sy at 10:21 AM on November 22, 2005

'I hear they shaved an ape.'

posted by WeedyMcSmokey at 11:13 AM on November 22, 2005

"Does this sound like a man who has had 'all he can eat'?"

posted by grum@work at 01:01 PM on November 22, 2005

"Isn't it true that your husband consumed a ten-pound bag of flour when no other food was available?"

posted by yerfatma at 02:04 PM on November 22, 2005

"I just want to drink a nice glass of syrup like I do every morning"

posted by HATER 187 at 03:30 PM on November 22, 2005

With my diet, you can eat all you want, any time you want

posted by roycedawg at 04:48 PM on November 22, 2005

What the hell are you all talking about?

posted by wfrazerjr at 05:10 PM on November 22, 2005

I once ate 3 hot dogs at a game and I thought I was going to die. I almost didn't make it to the latrine in time. I feel bad for the poor bastard that had to clean out that shitter. Lets just say from now on, I get the nachos.

posted by ArtVandalay420 at 07:26 PM on November 22, 2005

I'm with rcade. The celebration of gluttony is appalling. especially when this was happening while the competition was in progress.

posted by owlhouse at 07:34 PM on November 22, 2005

The link goes to an article about the 2004 contest. The results for the 2005 contest: 1) Kobayashi 67 burgers 2) Joey Chestnut 62 burgers (led throughout most of the contest) 3) Sonya Thomas 56 burgers

posted by ojrifkin at 10:15 PM on November 22, 2005

informed. I think part of the reason I give competitive eating a pass is exactly because it's so egregiously and openly wrong. It wears its decadence on its sleeve, and if you're one of those people who bemoans the decline of morality in society and wonder why other cultures hate us, well, this is where the rubber meets the road. And I kind of respect that. Yes, people elsewhere are starving, and yes, it's most of what's wrong with America in one sport (including the fact that the Japanese are cutting the Yanks at their own riffs), but if you're going to start drawing connections between demonstrations of conspicuous consumption in the developed world and starvation elsewhere, well, I can;t help but think that Paris Hilton (to name just one of a thousand examples) has a hundred times the influence on Bovine America that Sonya Thomas does.

posted by chicobangs at 11:27 PM on November 22, 2005

The link goes to an article about the 2004 contest. The results for the 2005 contest Jesus, thanks. Didn't realize it. I changed the link to yours. (impressive site by the way)

posted by justgary at 11:53 PM on November 22, 2005

Paris Hilton (to name just one of a thousand examples) has a hundred times the influence on Bovine America that Sonya Thomas does And the billions of dollars spent on pills, diets and weight reduction programs in the developed world? Maybe the money spent on that could be better directed too. (Sorry, chico but I'm in a skanky mood. I'm in Banda Aceh working on post-tsunami reconstruction which kind of colours things for me)

posted by owlhouse at 01:28 AM on November 23, 2005

Oh, I'm agreeing with you, owlhouse. I'm just saying that this is under the radar for most people, and personally I've been saving my hate for bigger fish, is all. So wait. You're in Banda Aceh? Wow. How are things there?

posted by chicobangs at 03:30 AM on November 23, 2005

These contests are a farce. I have never seen anyone at the ballpark order a dog, and then eat it separate from the roll. Nor do they dunk the roll in water. They want a real eating contest ? Then make the rules so contestants have to eat the hot dog as God intended - dog inside the bun !! They want to drink water in between, fine - but none of this 'separating and dunking' crap ! Let's see how many Kobayashi eats then !!

posted by cliffclavin at 05:08 AM on November 23, 2005

You know, I've read the Bible, and I honestly don't remember anything being in there about proper hot dog eating style, at ballparks or anywhere else. I suspect Kobayashi would be happy to take on, and soundly whup, all comers, regardless of the rules. His discipline may be less than savory, but his skills therein are beyond cavil. Player-hate on the guy at your peril.

posted by chicobangs at 06:09 AM on November 23, 2005

You know, I've read the Bible, and I honestly don't remember anything being in there about proper hot dog eating style, at ballparks or anywhere else. It's somewhere in the "Numbers" section, I think. You know, the parts that no one reads...

posted by grum@work at 08:53 AM on November 23, 2005

I thought the fifth plague in Exodus was hot dogs...but no bread from heaven until later, so I think there is scholarly/theological debate about what God's intentions actually are regarding the consumption of hot dogs.

posted by chris2sy at 10:29 AM on November 23, 2005

I think it's actually the fifth Hasil Adkins commandment: http://koti.mbnet.fi/wdd/weirdlyrics.htm#Nomore

posted by ajaffe at 11:19 AM on November 23, 2005

FWIW - Kobayashi's revolutionary "split the dog in two" technique got the name of the Solomon Method and he's in the bible. You know, King Solomon was the cut the hot dog baby in half guy.

posted by gspm at 11:20 AM on November 23, 2005

hmmm, every time i post a link it doesn't seem to take...

posted by ajaffe at 11:28 AM on November 23, 2005

You'd have to make your link line this: I think it's actually the <a href="http://koti.mbnet.fi/wdd/weirdlyrics.htm#Nomore">fifth Hasil Adkins commandment</a>

posted by yerfatma at 12:05 PM on November 23, 2005

69 Krystals isn't as impressive as it sounds. It's a Southern chain that serves tiny White Castle-style burgers that are 2-inches square and have a pickle, a couple onions and a postage stamp of meat slathered in grease. Oh, I beg to differ. My brother and I shared a 'bag' of kyrstals yesterday. We each had six and that was good enough. In my younger days I could have probably eaten 20, but then again I was normally drunk when I went to krystals. The amount of grease, not to mention the amount of grease, and in 8 minutes? And I haven't even mentioned the smell. Impressive indeed.

posted by justgary at 01:05 PM on November 23, 2005

I just did the math now, and calculated he ate a hamburger every 7.16 seconds. In the time it takes you to read justgary's post above, he probably ate two hamburgers. That's just....umm....wow.

posted by grum@work at 03:52 PM on November 23, 2005

he ate a hamburger every 7.16 seconds Wow. Makes me uneasy just thinking about it.

posted by justgary at 08:34 PM on November 23, 2005

Is the competitive eating contest followed by a competitive shitting contest? We're only getting half the story.

posted by rcade at 01:04 AM on November 24, 2005

In such a contest, I'd hope to come in ... turd.

posted by wfrazerjr at 10:03 AM on November 24, 2005

in some timely news, the black widow took first in a turkey eating contest.

posted by goddam at 11:37 AM on November 24, 2005

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