12/18/24
April 20, 2011
Alleged Tree Poisoning Moron alleges he was attacked: Updyke told McKenzie exclusively that he went to the Tiger Express gas station to get a drink. When he was in the parking lot, someone attacked him and he fell to the ground. When he got up he asked a clerk for the nearest hospital and took himself to be treated.
This is why A) we can't have nice things and 2) I support sharia law in the USA.
posted by NoMich at 09:55 PM on April 20, 2011
/stares at NoMich's post.
/reads article again
/reads justgary's post again
/reads NoMich's again
Ok, I'll say this, I have nice things.
posted by tselson at 11:26 PM on April 20, 2011
Not sure how sharia law applies to this situation, but, yeah, Updyke would be wise to move on. I'm somewhat surprised that it's taken this long for someone to retaliate.
posted by dviking at 01:39 AM on April 21, 2011
If sharia law isn't enough to stop this, we should reduce the capital gains tax.
Here's another story that doesn't think much of this allegation. "The extent of his injury does not equate to an assault charge," said Allan Elkins of the Opelika police.
posted by rcade at 09:09 AM on April 21, 2011
Sharia law would mean that all female cheerleaders would wear burqas, and all football players would have to be punished because they handled something made from a pig. NoMich might just have something here...
posted by Howard_T at 01:38 PM on April 21, 2011
This is a prime example of what happens when funding for the arts is cut from the budgets of public schools. I mean, what else should we expect in this economy?
posted by THX-1138 at 02:11 PM on April 21, 2011
"Alleged Tree Poisoning Moron" sounds like an epitaph from a Eudora Welty story.
Just saying.
posted by Ufez Jones at 01:27 AM on April 22, 2011
I want to know if the reason why we can't have nice things is because of the alleged tree-poisoning moron or because of whoever stabbed him in the face.
...unless, of course, they're one and the same, in which case...never mind.
posted by lil_brown_bat at 08:30 AM on April 22, 2011
I want to know if the reason why we can't have nice things is because of the alleged tree-poisoning moron or because of whoever stabbed him in the face.
I gathered that it was because of the failure of the ambulance system in Alabama. The poor fellow had to drive himself to the hospital.
posted by THX-1138 at 02:36 PM on April 22, 2011
I gathered that it was because of the failure of the ambulance system in Alabama. The poor fellow had to drive himself to the hospital.
hey i was a paramedic in anniston alabama and its so damn rural we covered 5 counties, 3 in al and 2 in Ga. since we had the only trauma center in the area.
and yes i did flip one of our ambulances crossing the median on i20 at 60 mph in a driving rain.
as for the the poisoning asshole, makes me sick as i am a ua (roll tide) fan.
posted by Folkways at 05:08 PM on April 23, 2011
and yes i did flip one of our ambulances crossing the median on i20 at 60 mph in a driving rain.
And that was the end of your career as a medic?
posted by lil_brown_bat at 07:35 PM on April 23, 2011
Nope LLB, concidering the lack of medical professionals in our area it was just written up as ("an act of God") for insurance purposes. Seriously!!
Cides the couple that ran up under the semi in their cutesy lil Beamer from Mtn Brook AL. with a DeadHead sticker on the back had to be Life Flighted out so we didnt need the Ambulance and at least we were able to get our gear out of the wreckage (2 other basics in side besides me).
Course once that silly lil couple were loaded up we had to take MANDATORY amb. rides to NEARMC to be checked out.
posted by Folkways at 08:11 PM on April 23, 2011
NEARMC=North East Alabama Regional Medical Center
posted by Folkways at 09:02 PM on April 23, 2011
Man, my jokes suck.
posted by THX-1138 at 01:39 PM on April 26, 2011
I'm from the south, and I dislike stereotypes very much. But I will say that people here take college football very seriously, many have guns, and I would certainly look at other areas of the country to live if I was this guy.