04/23/24
April 25, 2007
"Cheesecake Factory's got the black straws, they're kind of thick. That's good quality straws.": Caron Butler has a problem.
posted by Ufez Jones to basketball at 09:44 AM - 25 comments
I think we're grasping at straws for a FPP. Enjoyed it. Thanks, Ufez.
posted by Howard_T at 10:52 AM on April 25, 2007
Hopefully David Stern won't fine him for advertising Cheesecake Factory. Don't know about you guys, but i'm gonna get me a black straw.
posted by TelamarketersBeware at 11:11 AM on April 25, 2007
The thing on the end of a shoelace is called an aglet. I don't know why I know that, I just do. Here's the related video of the story. It's exactly the same as the print version, but still quite amusing.
posted by SummersEve at 11:29 AM on April 25, 2007
I don't know why I know that, I just do. Maybe because you read the sixth comment below the article? Cheesecake Factory rocks. Best restaurant menu in the world.
posted by The Crafty Sousepaw at 11:46 AM on April 25, 2007
Sixty a day? Day-um. And, yeah, Cheesecake Factory kicks ass. I'll appreciate the place even more now that I'm aware of their high-quality suction apparati. Great post, 'Fez.
posted by The_Black_Hand at 01:04 PM on April 25, 2007
I do have one complaint: Ufez, the pull-quote you used in the FPP got me ready to be hot and/or bothered, but the story was light on sexy.
posted by yerfatma at 01:27 PM on April 25, 2007
Thank goodness I don't live in where any of these Cheesecake Factory places exist. Sounds monstrous. Mostly because cheesecake is totally spectacular - and where others have that thing that makes them go "wow - it's so rich I can't possibly eat anymore", I do not.
posted by WeedyMcSmokey at 01:38 PM on April 25, 2007
Please, I don't want to be the one that says this FPP sucks....
posted by irunfromclones at 01:49 PM on April 25, 2007
Cheesecake Factory rocks. Best restaurant menu in the world. The longest menu in the world. It's a good thing they give you that bread because it takes about 45 minutes to get through the menu.
posted by bperk at 01:50 PM on April 25, 2007
Maybe because you read the sixth comment below the article? Boy am I glad you pointed that out. For the life of me I couldn't figure out where I learned that. It was driving me nuts. I thought it was from an ex-girlfriend. Nope it was from the sixth comment down. You're a pro, Sousey. I'm going to find your old user profile and click it until it's tops in google. I didn't read it there. But I am embarrassed to see that. Rather than admit my embarrassment I'll just mock your name change.
posted by SummersEve at 02:06 PM on April 25, 2007
Not sure what this has to do with sports, but I'll take any excuse to bash the Cheesecake factory. Rather than do one thing well, this place does everything poorly. Than they overcharge you for it. There's something very american about the place which I believe is why it's so popular. It certainly can't be the food.
posted by DudeDykstra at 02:40 PM on April 25, 2007
WTF Sucking on straws while playing pro basketball sounds dangerous. Not only physically, but psycologically. If he was guarding me, I would ask him to take out the straws and replace it with my .... and i'm not even a pro. Imagine the kind of jokes Gary Payton could come up with... Seriously though, I remember this dude that went to high school with me in the late 90's that always had a straw in his mouth. Is it a substitute for smoking? I don't think I could trust a dude with that severe of an oral fixation. Do you think he would buy a straw if he ran out? Is it considered stealing if you just go to McDonald's and take a handful of straws without making a purchase?
posted by yay-yo at 03:38 PM on April 25, 2007
I'm going to find your old user profile and click it until it's tops in google. I hate to take you away from your research on the technical name for the vent holes on the sides of Chuck Ts. I don't think I could trust a dude with that severe of an oral fixation. I definitely wouldn't shower with him.
posted by The Crafty Sousepaw at 03:52 PM on April 25, 2007
Mostly because cheesecake is totally spectacular Don't know if you have 'em, but down here a cheesecake franchise sells SECONDS. Broken bits, half bits etc at very cheap prices. You can go there late in the day and drive an even better bargain. I don't care if they're broken, and neither do my kids.
posted by owlhouse at 07:23 PM on April 25, 2007
This is the last straw!
posted by tommybiden at 09:11 PM on April 25, 2007
The Wizards locker room needs to be a reality show. As much as I loathe all reality television, I guarantee I would build my own PVR just to record that, were it to happen. I can't think of any professional LR I'd rather have a key in on. I do have one complaint: Ufez, the pull-quote you used in the FPP got me ready to be hot and/or bothered, but the story was light on sexy. Sorry, man. Sometimes you have to use your own imagination to pull-the-quote. I know, modern day society makes it more difficult and whatnot, but I've got faith in you.
posted by Ufez Jones at 12:17 AM on April 26, 2007
I don't know why I know that, I just do. You probably grew up watching Rich Hall and his Sniglets (words that should be in the dictionary, but aren't). That's where I learned the word.
posted by opel70 at 07:48 AM on April 26, 2007
Straw man!
posted by Hugh Janus at 12:36 PM on April 26, 2007
I think we need a straw poll on this post.
posted by irunfromclones at 01:24 PM on April 26, 2007
Will we have to draw straws to see who has to count the votes?
posted by The Crafty Sousepaw at 02:29 PM on April 26, 2007
I always seem to draw the short straw.
posted by tommybiden at 04:42 PM on April 26, 2007
Okay, that last one broke the camel's back.
posted by SummersEve at 08:34 PM on April 26, 2007
Ever see his spin move? Solid gold.
posted by Hugh Janus at 10:10 PM on April 26, 2007
How are we ignoring the real story here: someone sits around chewing on Plackers? There was always a kid in high school or college with a straw in his mouth, but those one-off floss tools are friggin' dangerous.
posted by yerfatma at 06:08 AM on April 27, 2007
The Wizards locker room needs to be a reality show.