June 15, 2006

RoboStick pulls hair to score goal: Result inside.

posted by Texan_lost_in_NY to soccer at 07:40 PM - 28 comments

Scroll halfway down to "Launch Match Highlights" of today's England game and see Peter Crouch grab a handfull of dreads, yank the defender's head around and knock in the winning goal. Watch close-up slow motion at 2 minutes 2 seconds. T & T got screwed and England advance.

posted by Texan_lost_in_NY at 07:44 PM on June 15, 2006


posted by Texan_lost_in_NY at 07:55 PM on June 15, 2006

The problems mount for Sven, even though they've qualified. 1. Rio Ferdinand is too lazy, and will be shown up against stronger opposition. He looked like he was on a golf course. Sol or Carragher should play alongside Terry. 2. England looked better with width provided through Lennon and Downing. Lennon tried to get round the outside and he's about the only one who can dribble. At least Sven didn't leave the subs too late, unlike against Brazil in 02. But will he start with either of them? And who does he drop to make way? 3. No strikers. He has to drop Owen and start with Rooney, but this probably means putting Crouch up front on his own with Rooney running through. I don't think that's a WC winning strikeforce. 4. Still too rigid and negative. Why did they leave four back to mark one T&T player (Stern John)? No-one seemed to want to move into midfield or down the flank to bring numbers forward, although Carragher tried. Is Ashley Cole fully fit? Joe Cole cuts inside far too much.

posted by owlhouse at 08:57 PM on June 15, 2006

For shame..I wanted the Toboggans to win this match.

posted by curtangle at 11:41 PM on June 15, 2006

I think that you're being a bit hard on England, they have only just got Rooney back and will take some time to adjust. I think that dropping Owen would be a terrible mistake. Two bad games does not a bad player make. And I think that the main reason Engalnd has played badly is because they underestimated both T and T and Paraguay. Bit cocky, but what can you do? And Crouch did foul the defender. Let's hope for some better football in the next round

posted by Goyoucolts at 12:02 AM on June 16, 2006

OMG, he was holding on the ponytail before he jumped. Fucker. Good grief, after that blundered volley unmarked in front of goal, you'd think Crouch really didn't know how to score. And I guess, based on the video, he doesn't, unless he can pull your hair. I thought it was sketchy just watching the replay of Crouch's goal (I thought he might have held the defender down) during the live telecast but this takes the cake. I was going to revel in a Liverpool 1-2 (Crouchie and Gerrard's goals) but this just ruins it. Lampard had better positioning and did better with his chances than Owen and Crouch combined. Also Crouch shouldn't try to be so tricky with his fooking slide volleys and shots. He could try _running_ on to passes, staying upright and shooting instead of the fancy shit, fooking giraffe. AAAAH, just take him off for the next game. Since it doesn't really matter, I recommend going with a more adventurous team and formation: Robinson (actually, put Crouch in goal, he likes to jump and dive; it would be good for a laugh) (3-4-3) Terry, Carragher, Cole (yeah, fook Ferdinand, he almost scored the own goal; Terry's a prince) Lennon, Gerrard, Lampard, Downing Walcott, Owen, Rooney Let's see a goal-fest. I don't care which team scores.

posted by worldcup2002 at 01:41 AM on June 16, 2006

"Damn it, Peter, I said break the deadlock, not the dreadlock..." My first comment after the goal was "He had a handful of that bloke's hair", but I was in a pub surrounded by English tossers who were screaming like they had won the heap, so no one heard me. Having now seen all the teams in action, England are clearly second flight, and not even very high up it. I'd love it if Ecuador slaughtered them. Quote of the day, from an English friend (and fellow Liverpool fan), "It always surprises me how much more I care about Liverpool than about England." Amen.

posted by JJ at 03:09 AM on June 16, 2006

It doesn't surprise me how much less I care about Liverpool than about England. Feck em all. We're through to the knockout stages. That's all that matters to me.

posted by squealy at 08:25 AM on June 16, 2006

Watching Argentina now and they've just gone 3-0 up before half-time. They're absolutely incredible and make England look like a pub team.

posted by afx237vi at 08:41 AM on June 16, 2006

Two bad games does not a bad player make. In the World Cup, especially for England, two bad games can make a bad career. JJ, there's something to that; watching England's games makes me excited for Liverpool for next season as much as anything else.

posted by chicobangs at 08:45 AM on June 16, 2006

I didn't spot that at all during the match, but I had sorta lost interest. England are very poor; as Eamonn Dunphy said after the match yesterday evening "Pleasure postponed, until they meet a good team. But we had 80 minutes of pleasure, they're a pub team"

posted by Fence at 09:14 AM on June 16, 2006

You know what I love most about the English? Their optimism.

posted by chicobangs at 09:29 AM on June 16, 2006

I don't understand why Rooney is touted as the savior (or should I say saviour) of this England team. I understand he is still working back up to being in playing shape, but he didn't do much of anything in his time in the match. They also flashed up some statistic during the match that Rooney hadn't scored in over the last 400 minutes of World Cup qualifying. Maybe it's just that Rooney embodies some quintessentially English character that the fans really get behind or maybe that he's England's best shot up front, but I just don't see him as a world class striker. While I haven't seen him much outside of the World Cup games, Crouch does not impress at all. He appears to me to have the classic Gary Lineker skills -- he's money from inside the 6 if you play the ball to his head or feet (and even then it's no given, as a number of failures yesterday showed). Overall, England's strike force is poor, poor, poor from my perspective. It's telling that Gerrard's goal (which I thought was great -- I love to see him lining one up) is the only legit goal England have scored all tournament thus far, against fairly subpar competition. In my experience, reading coverage of England in English papers and blogs is a bit like reading about the Red Sox on Boston Dirt Dogs -- widly fluctuating between cocky optimism and downright despair, with no in between.

posted by holden at 09:52 AM on June 16, 2006

I don't understand why Rooney is touted as the savior (or should I say saviour) of this England team. Mostly because he was the savior of the 2002 England team. He was a huge source of energy in the first few games, and nearly carried England through the group stage. Ferdinand was also a bright spot on that team, which makes his showing (so far) this year appear all the more dismal. widly fluctuating between cocky optimism and downright despair, with no in between. Welcome to England football.

posted by psmealey at 10:21 AM on June 16, 2006

When everything is clicking for England, they can actually play some stunning football. Their 5-0 drubbing of Germany a few years back is a very good example of this. Only problem is, they can only muster this seemingly 10% of the the time, as opposed to Brazil, who manages to play at their highest level almost half the time. Most of the time, when England faces off against the very best teams (Argentina, Italy, France, Brazil), they seem content to play to a draw, and gamble on a shootout to win it. I had high expectations when Sven Goren took over, but he really hasn't varied match tactics significantly from those of Kevin Keegan and Glen Hoddle.

posted by psmealey at 10:31 AM on June 16, 2006

What a wanker! I'd like to see that trick against the US. Then Crouch could be a Yankee Wanker!

posted by True Blue at 10:48 AM on June 16, 2006

Brazil? You should have seen Argentina this morning... I was at the pub yesterday watching the game, and it was agonizing...

posted by sauril at 12:22 PM on June 16, 2006

The Saudi - Tunisia game was the best so far.

posted by irunfromclones at 01:22 PM on June 16, 2006

Argentina looked, for lack of a better expression, awesome this morning. They are by far the stongest team in the tournament, and are going to be very difficult to beat.

posted by psmealey at 01:29 PM on June 16, 2006

I think one of the reasons for England's slow start is playing Gerrard as the holding midfielder. Seriously, how often has he played there? Even in the recent warmup matches he played differently. But in the second half of this match he was clearly getting the flow, dropping back on defense and still contributing at the other end. We'll see what happens against Sweden but I think England still has better to play. If they win the group, which seems reasonable as Sweden are without Ibrahimovich, they play the loser of Germany - Ecuador. Hmm, not so great for England unless the 2A loses a key player during the last group match. Also, Argentina was bombastic this morning. Sure, it was against a crap side who gave up completely after Kezman's red and the referee was as bad as they were good. Argentina, assuming they get a result against Netherlands, face Portugal or Mexico. Either will likely be really good to watch and fortunately it will be held next Saturday.

posted by billsaysthis at 03:04 PM on June 16, 2006

bill, are you sure England are actually playing a diamond in midfield? I don't know if it's a holding role in the traditional sense. You should have seen Argentina this morning... I hate to attach numbers other than goals to any game, but I read Riquelme completed 71 of 72 passes today... Hard luck to Ivory Coast. As usual, one of the best sixteen teams will not make it to the knockout round. The "Group of Death" moniker seems to be 75% accurate. And how about Angola!!!!???? Well done, Black Antelopes! God I love this sport. Talk about the beautiful game...

posted by Texan_lost_in_NY at 07:56 PM on June 16, 2006

Angola might just get my vote for Best. Uniform. Ever. The socks were a nice touch.

posted by The_Black_Hand at 08:36 PM on June 16, 2006

Lots of players have committed worse fouls than that in this competition, and lots of strikers have played worse, but I don't see threads with lots of sock puppets ready to pile castigation on them. The difference? Crouch looks a bit awkward. But if that kind of thing gets you going, don't let me stop you vilifying him.

posted by walrus at 06:11 AM on June 17, 2006

Fate is waiting in the wings to give someone else the goal that knocks England out of the tournament by yanking Rio Ferdinand's hair anyway.

posted by Mr Bismarck at 07:42 AM on June 17, 2006

England will happily knock themselves out of the tournament. They always do. Someone pulling Rio's hair gets my vote though. By the way, on the club versus country thing JJ alluded to above: I support Liverpool. I have a fondness for England and will watch them on television. But the same goes for Brazil. Otherwise I'm fairly neutral. I know the same goes for a lot of other Liverpool fans. I don't know about supporters of other clubs, but I believe a proportion of Man Utd fans feel similar, at least the ones I've spoken to about it.

posted by walrus at 08:09 AM on June 17, 2006

Just to qualify the above statement, what I mean by it is that I would only pay money to watch one team play.

posted by walrus at 08:22 AM on June 17, 2006

I know a lot of Birmingham fans who feel the same way walrus. I'm not amongst them though and I have paid to watch England play (albeit years ago at Wembley).

posted by squealy at 10:44 AM on June 17, 2006

Maybe it's not the same thing but when Liverpool and USA games overlap I watch USA live and Liverpool on Tivo. Since neither really ever play games local to me, and for medical reasons I really have trouble attending live events anyway, it's not like I can vote with dollars. But to me the comparison is Springsteen and Zeppelin, I like both but wouldn't want them coming out of adjacent speakers simultaneously.

posted by billsaysthis at 09:19 PM on June 17, 2006

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