October 10, 2011

I really think Smoltz should have kept his mouth shut.

He knows the truth, and he's one of the few people who could put Maddux away for a long time with what he's seen with his own eyes.

If Smoltz wants to be alive to share the HOF with Maddux, he'll quickly retract what he's said.

posted by grum@work at 12:57 PM on October 10, 2011

Wow. I didn't realize this thing of ours had escaped SportsFilter.

posted by rcade at 01:36 PM on October 10, 2011

I guess I joined to late in the history of the Filter. I always see you refer to Maddux and his trunks full of dead hookers. Can someone like to the post where this all began or at least explain it or is it one of those things that cannot be explained.(or shouldnt because Maddux is everywhere.)

posted by Debo270 at 02:45 PM on October 10, 2011

I think (but am not certain) that it may have started here, via a snarky response (from me) to a post for which an appropriate response could have been "You think?"

Where it has gone from there I cannot take responsibility for, however.

I too thought it was a fun joke (and was happy to take credit for it) until Maddux tracked me down once in an opium den in San Francisco's Chinatown. I could tell from the look in his eye that he had "crossed over" as some refer to it, and that he was probably on a particularly bad one, as his hair was matted with dried blood and he looked like he had not slept in a week. I had heard from those who had seen Maddux like this and had lived to tell the tale, that he sometimes referred to himself during these spells (or, perhaps more accurately, had his "girls" refer to him) as "Xuddam the Magnificent," his alter ego of sorts. Every fiber of my body told me not to do it ("It's a trap!") when he asked if I wanted to smoke some crack and play Golden Tee with some girls he picked up at the wharf, but you have to understand just how charming and persuasive he can be when he is like that; it was like a big, beautiful lion asked me if I wanted to go roam the Serengeti looking for some prey or maybe some potential mates or maybe both. But when I saw the '95 World Series ring on his finger (albeit covered in hooker brain matter), I snapped out of it and talked him down -- "Xaddum, I think Greg is trying to speak to you. I think Greg just wants to spread his wings. I know he's in there." Etc. As the crazed and far away look in his eye faded and he came to with a shudder followed by a stare of disbelief at his bruised and bloodied hands (that those same beautiful hands were responsible for 350+ wins and over 3300 strikeouts yet also a trail of unspeakable madness and mayhem that befuddles law enforcement in numerous jurisdictions across the world to this day is a stark juxtaposition that is not lost on me), I scampered out the door and into a dark and foggy San Francisco night. I have not seen Xaddum, or even Greg, since then fateful night when I almost spun the roulette wheel of death or a night of debauchery I would never forget, but I will tell you that every night when I go to bed I pray to the god of lost souls that Maddux will find his and that he will never find me.

On edit: What Mr. B said.

posted by holden at 03:26 PM on October 10, 2011

You are so funny, holden. That old thread is a riot.

posted by bperk at 09:39 PM on October 10, 2011

Ah, yes, the old "Greg Maddux and his hooker murdering exploits" meme. Never gets old.

posted by Bonkers at 11:01 PM on October 10, 2011

We've officially lost two weeks of the NBA season.

Nothing is safe from Greg Maddux, not even basketball schedules.

posted by apoch at 05:13 AM on October 11, 2011