11/21/24
February 17, 2011
Tide Fan Poisons Auburn's Famous Trees: The 130-year-old oak trees at Auburn University's Toomer's Corner, a gathering place for fans after historic wins, have been poisoned with 65 times the lethal amount of the herbicide Spike 80DF. A caller to Paul Finebaum's radio show Jan. 27 claimed he did it and tests confirmed the poisoning. "The weekend after the Iron Bowl, I went to Auburn, Ala., because I live 30 miles away, and I poisoned the Toomer's trees," said a caller identifying himself as Al from Dadeville. "Roll Damn Tide" (more on moron).
Sad and pathetic, and I hope "Al" is caught and prosecuted.
He was caught and arrested.
posted by holden at 02:48 PM on February 17, 2011
You just don't do that shit. He better be thankful the police got him before an Auburn fan did.
People in Alabama are often described as being one or the other when it comes to football loyalties. Here's hoping the future boss of his work detail has some War Eagle blood in him.
I don't know much about Auburn's academic departments, but they have a big forest products department at Mississippi State and if he had poisoned anything special of theirs, they would have turned the mofo into exterior grade plywood by now.
posted by beaverboard at 03:19 PM on February 17, 2011
I got two words fer ya: poop helmet.
posted by NoMich at 03:37 PM on February 17, 2011
What an absolute asshat. As proud as I am of the passion we SEC fans show and share (UF '88), this is pathetic and wrong. Hope this douchenozzle is prosecuted to the fullest extent the law allows. Also makes me extremely angry that now I actually have to feel sorry for Auburn. Crap.
posted by The_Black_Hand at 03:53 PM on February 17, 2011
He's 62? What an utter fucking tool.
posted by etagloh at 04:48 PM on February 17, 2011
I'd call the guy a stupid, ignorant hillbilly, but that would be insulting to stupid, ignorant hillbillies.
I say hang the fucker, from one of the trees he poisoned.
posted by tommybiden at 04:57 PM on February 17, 2011
I'm with etagloh, I was amazed to read that the fool is 62 years old...was totally expecting to read about some drunk college kid doing this.
Given the premeditation that is needed to pull this off (thinking about it, obtaining the chemicals, driving the 30 miles there, having to sneak around in the middle of the night, pouring the chemicals) I say, hang the bastard from the tree. And, make him wear a poop helmet while you're hanging him.
posted by dviking at 05:44 PM on February 17, 2011
Not just 62: a retired Texas state trooper. Who, apparently, will forfeit his retirement benefits if convicted.
Let's call it "suicide by arboricide".
posted by etagloh at 06:06 PM on February 17, 2011
What's the appropriate punishment for killing a tree? I am totally conflicted about what it ought to be.
posted by bperk at 06:57 PM on February 17, 2011
Dial seven for... Arboricide.
What a maroon.
posted by WeedyMcSmokey at 07:16 PM on February 17, 2011
What's the appropriate punishment for killing a tree? I am totally conflicted about what it ought to be.
ummmm...poop helmet!
posted by NoMich at 07:16 PM on February 17, 2011
Wow. Moron.
Handing them out like Halloween candy.
posted by THX-1138 at 07:16 PM on February 17, 2011
The Stanford Tree chimes in...
posted by MeatSaber at 07:51 PM on February 17, 2011
nice link meatsaber!
What's the appropriate punishment for killing a tree? If it's your tree, and not a protected species, or a protected landmark, nothing.
Not your tree, it is a landmark, and you break numerous other laws while poisoning the tree...poop helmet is a good start.
posted by dviking at 10:28 PM on February 17, 2011
Why just protected species? Back home, we love all trees...or else.
Even on my farm, I could only clear designated noxious trees like camphor, and needed a permit for others.
posted by owlhouse at 11:56 PM on February 17, 2011
I'd call the guy a stupid, ignorant hillbilly, but that would be insulting to stupid, ignorant hillbillies.
From wiki: Hillbilly is a term referring to certain people who dwell in rural, mountainous areas of the United States, primarily Appalachia but also the Ozarks, although some use the term to describe all rural or even urban southerners of European ethnicity. Owing to its strongly stereotypical connotations, the term is frequently considered derogatory, and so is usually offensive to those Americans of Appalachian heritage. However, some have reclaimed the term to celebrate the mountain culture.
Just sayin'
posted by tselson at 11:59 PM on February 17, 2011
owlhouse, by "protected species' I meant any tree that is legally protected. Many cities have laws protecting trees of certain size, or certain varieties. Personally, I think most people should get an arborist's advice prior to removing a tree. Most cities have an arborist that will come out free of charge to examine a tree.
posted by dviking at 12:57 AM on February 18, 2011
Just sayin'
My sincerest apologies.
Please substitute chawbacon for the 'h' word.
posted by tommybiden at 08:52 AM on February 18, 2011
Sad and pathetic, and I hope "Al" is caught and prosecuted.