12/26/24
April 03, 2007
"It's not drunken driving in New Jersey if it involves a Zamboni.":
posted by lil_brown_bat to extreme at 11:53 AM - 40 comments
"We hold these truths to be self-evident . . . "
posted by yerfatma at 12:05 PM on April 03, 2007
I wonder if it would have been different if he drove it to Burger King...
posted by yay-yo at 12:34 PM on April 03, 2007
He should at least have been cited for being a dumbass.
posted by insomnyuk at 12:46 PM on April 03, 2007
Where is the nearest Zamboni dealership?
posted by markmathes at 12:50 PM on April 03, 2007
Do Zamboni come with cup holders?
posted by markmathes at 12:51 PM on April 03, 2007
All drinks on the rocks!
posted by markmathes at 12:52 PM on April 03, 2007
Beer, vodka, sambuca, valium. I guess it goes along with the high-pressure life of a Zamboni driver. Maybe he should move into the less-stressful life of air-traffic controller. Good thing they didn't give him a sobriety test on the ice; he'd probably keep falling down.
posted by dyams at 01:07 PM on April 03, 2007
a fellow employee at the Mennen Sports Arena in Morristown, New Jersey, told police the machine was speeding and nearly crashed into the boards. Guess who got a lump of shit in his stocking at the company Christmas party!
posted by tahoemoj at 02:03 PM on April 03, 2007
Guess who got a lump of shit in his stocking at the company Christmas party! Guess who didn't drive home that night and hit and kill a member of your family.
posted by tommybiden at 02:09 PM on April 03, 2007
Driving a zamboni while under the influence is a skill only a few have acquired. Clearly a post graduate achievement.
posted by rollfastbyu at 02:10 PM on April 03, 2007
However, he told police he had a shot of Sambuca with his breakfast coffee and two Valium-pills before work. Is that really a "However" statement?
posted by SummersEve at 02:12 PM on April 03, 2007
Guess who didn't drive home that night and hit and kill a member of your family Nobody in my family lives in Morristown, NJ. Lighten up TT.
posted by tahoemoj at 02:31 PM on April 03, 2007
Is that really a "However" statement? Fantastic point. I'd like to see that successfully used as a rejoinder.
posted by yerfatma at 02:37 PM on April 03, 2007
I do remember when this story first came out. Time has not changed my opinion: he's still a dumbass.
posted by PublicUrinal at 03:02 PM on April 03, 2007
I assume this also works in New Jersey if it's a particularly bitchin' Camaro. "Drunk? Officer, thems is primered FLAMES."
posted by WeedyMcSmokey at 03:29 PM on April 03, 2007
If he was under the influence when he learned how to drive the zamboni, he would know how to drive the zambonii under the influence. Not that the zamboni was under the influence, unless you mean under the influence of one under the influence. Right
posted by sumokenobi at 03:35 PM on April 03, 2007
Guess who didn't drive home that night and hit and kill a member of your family Nobody in my family lives in Morristown, NJ. Lighten up TT. Let me rephrase then, guess who didn't drive home that night and kill a member of anyones' family. I don't think I need to lighten up at all. I don't find drunk driving to be a light subject.
posted by tommybiden at 03:50 PM on April 03, 2007
I don't think anyone here thinks drunk driving is a light subject, but when faced with such an extreme example of dumbassery, to crack wise is natural. It seemed to me that the nature of this post, both in the original story, and in SpoFi's reaction to it, was comical. Yes, someone who has Sambuca and valium for breakfast is tragic to the point of being laughable. This is a moron who put his employer's machinery and facility at risk, nothing more (unless the elderly women's precision Rascal team was on the ice at the time.) For you to suck the fun out of the story by assuming he was going to get into his rusted out '76 Pinto and drive home, putting innocent lives at risk, is not only ridiculously out of context, but a sad attempt to stand on a soapbox at the wrong time.
posted by tahoemoj at 04:18 PM on April 03, 2007
I thought the thread a few months ago about the guy who took a Zamboni to Burger KIng was funny, but this is too.As Snoopy once observed, driving the Zamboni makes you the coolest dude around.If you got a good buzz also, what the hell. The judge made the right call.
posted by sickleguy at 04:38 PM on April 03, 2007
I don't think anyone here thinks drunk driving is a light subject, but when faced with such an extreme example of dumbassery, to crack wise is natural. It seemed to me that the nature of this post, both in the original story, and in SpoFi's reaction to it, was comical. Yes, someone who has Sambuca and valium for breakfast is tragic to the point of being laughable. This is a moron who put his employer's machinery and facility at risk, nothing more (unless the elderly women's precision Rascal team was on the ice at the time.) For you to suck the fun out of the story by assuming he was going to get into his rusted out '76 Pinto and drive home, putting innocent lives at risk, is not only ridiculously out of context, but a sad attempt to stand on a soapbox at the wrong time. No soapbox here, just common sense. I didn't suck the fun out of anything. I read the story, and the first thought that came to my mind was that the co-worker who reported Mr Peragallo probably saved someones life, possibly Peragallos' . Try losing a member of your family or a close friend to a drunk driver and tell me that I'm sucking the fun out this situation. To say he only endangered the equipment and the facility and nothing more is indeed laughable. He also endangered his life and more likely the lives of his co-workers by being drunk at work. He was operating a dangerous piece of equipment in an impaired condition. What is sad is the cavalier attitude expressed when you stated that no member of YOUR family lived in Morristown, and therefore I should lighten up. If you're going to lecture me on what I should and shouldn't do in my posts, try and stick to things I wrote. For instance, could you point out to me where I mentioned a Pinto and what condition it was in?
posted by tommybiden at 05:12 PM on April 03, 2007
I'll say this and be done with it. I don't condone drunk driving. I don't think it's funny. I also don't like being passive-aggressively admonished by a holier-than-thou, apparently humorless fascist who doesn't seem to understand the time and place to make or take a joke. Look at all the comments in this thread, with the exception of your own. They're all good-naturedly pointing out what a dumbass the guy is, and recognizing the severity, or lack thereof, to this situation. The story itself is funny. The person involved is an idiot. Jokes are being made at his expense. Nobody needs you to tell them that drunk driving is bad.
posted by tahoemoj at 06:03 PM on April 03, 2007
I also don't like being passive-aggressively admonished by a holier-than-thou, apparently humorless fascist who doesn't seem to understand the time and place to make or take a joke. I'll say this and be done with it. I don't condone name calling, nor do I appreciate being called a fascist, in fact, I find that highly offensive. I also don't appreciate being lectured and told to work on my sense of humour by someone who apparently took psychology 101. You may think someone is being holier than thou, when in fact they're simply reacting to a rather cavalier attitude towards a serious issue. Unless one knows what another has dealt with in their life, one should perhaps hold off on the sanctimonious criticism of how they react to a situation.
posted by tommybiden at 06:22 PM on April 03, 2007
So OK everyone has come to the conclusion that this idot is a DUMBASS. Now don't you think everyone also understands that drinking and driving is wrong? Not everyone always makes the right choice , but we don't come here to be preached to either. Just enjoy the banter
posted by TAZ29 at 06:59 PM on April 03, 2007
TT, as I have told others on this site...relax. Of course, the others I told to relax couldn't do so, so I really don't expect you to either. The whole story is made for making fun of. That is the only reason it made the papers in the first place. DWI's are thrown out in court every day, most never are reported, this one is different because of the comical slant of the Zamboni. The journalist knew that, the editor knew that, and we all know that. What's next? DWI's for golfers? 90% of the carts are being driven by people that are drinking, many courses have layouts that cause the carts to cross streets, so I say we charge them all!
posted by dviking at 07:25 PM on April 03, 2007
Hmm. Well. Since I posted the FPP, and did so with the implication that, "Oh isn't this humorous," I should probably say something. The text of the link is the line that caught my eye. It's a funny turn of phrase. However, I'm not sure how many of you actually read the article, or read it carefully, but I get the impression that the zamboni never actually left the rink. Very little information is given about the judge's decision, and it's not 100% clear to me whether the ruling went as it did because it was a zamboni, or because it was a vehicle that wasn't intended for road use, and was never on a public road. I'm also not 100% sure if the judge understood that, given proper motivation and a little help from Mother Nature, a zamboni operator could take it on a road. But, whatever. I'll be honest and say that I didn't really think, "Oh, okay, it wasn't on the road, therefore it's okay to laugh at this." I did what I think most people did: said, "Drunken driver in a zamboni! Bwaaahahahaha!" The truth is, when drunken driving ends up in a simple arrest rather than a tragedy, we do tend to see the comedy in it if the drunk driver did something else characteristic of a silly drunk (got out of the car and attempted to, I don't know, piss in the gas tank). I made this mistake in posting this FPP: yes, it's funny, but now I don't know if I should find it so. When a drunk driver is simply arrested, and not carted away from the scene of an accident, the difference in the outcome is just a matter of luck, and getting behind the wheel while impaired is tantamount to saying you care nothing for your life or the lives of anyone else on the road. the other important thing to keep in mind is the "you never know who's in the room" phenomenon: when jokes about drunken driving start, the audience may will include someone who's lost a loved one to a drunk driver. So...tommy, you're right, and I'm sorry I went there. And to tahoemoj: namecalling of the sort you indulged in is very much not okay.
posted by lil_brown_bat at 07:25 PM on April 03, 2007
lil_brown_bat, no apology needed from you, as far as I'm concerned. Apparently, according to that New Jersey judge, as I believe it would be where I live, in Ontario, Canada, that if you're not on a public road (or waterway, where it would be impaired boating), there's no impaired driving charge to make. He could perhaps have been charged with drunk in public. I was aware of the fact that the Zamboni never left the rink. He was still placing both himself, co-workers, and patrons of the arena at risk. I have lost people close to me as a result of criminal acts involving alcohol and vehicles. I have also had to deal with people who have come to work at my place of employment in an intoxicated state. I have reported them to my superiors. I'm not going to work in a situation with someone who is not in control of themselves or the equipment, as it puts my health, and the health of my co-workers at risk. Where this article went askew for me, was when I was told to lighten up. Even later in the thread, I was told to relax. Since this is a hockey article, let's ask members of Pelle Lindbergh's family if we should lighten up about people who operate motor vehicles while impaired. If basketball is more your game, ask Malik Sealy's family what they think of people lightening up about criminal acts involving alcohol. It's not like I'm a member of the Temperance Society, I enjoy a tasty adult beverage on a fairly regular basis, but I do not ever put myself behind the wheel or show up to work with alcohol in my system.
posted by tommybiden at 08:14 PM on April 03, 2007
Sincere apologies for name calling. Got a bit frustrated.
posted by tahoemoj at 09:01 PM on April 03, 2007
tahoemoj, no worries, accepted.
posted by tommybiden at 09:16 PM on April 03, 2007
Always nice to see SportsFilter work the way it's supposed to. A disagreement, followed by apologies and mature behavior, followed immediately by a dumbass comment from someone who's been here for one fucking day. You use your very first post on this site to go after a guy who's been posting here for over a year? I see you sitting on 0-for-15 for quite a while.
posted by The_Black_Hand at 06:31 AM on April 04, 2007
TT, you should be banned for starting something over nothing. You see this story, which is obviously meant to be funny, and you twist it into some melodrama. People like you start shit in here everyday that has nothing to do with sports or the article at hand. Go drink a bottle of vodka and drive off a bridge.
posted by yay-yo at 12:00 PM on April 04, 2007
dviking: TT, as I have told others on this site...relax. Of course, the others I told to relax couldn't do so, so I really don't expect you to either. It's not your place to tell people to "relax", which is nothing but a code word for "you're not allowed to take this seriously because I don't take it seriously". yay-yo: Go drink a bottle of vodka and drive off a bridge. For God's sake, what did your mama raise? You should flat-out be ashamed of yourself.
posted by lil_brown_bat at 12:32 PM on April 04, 2007
For God's sake, what did your mama raise? A man with a sense of humor ... two things your mom forgot about.
posted by yay-yo at 12:35 PM on April 04, 2007
Thanks for another wonderful contribution. Keep up the amazingly consistent work.
posted by yerfatma at 12:53 PM on April 04, 2007
Zamboni,,,Peragallo,,,,Falcone,,,Porfido,,,,Sambuca,,,, Hey,, shutuppa-ya-face!
posted by rockyxgone at 01:54 PM on April 04, 2007
Go drink a bottle of vodka and drive off a bridge. I'm sure you already know this is over the line ya-yo.
posted by justgary at 05:22 PM on April 04, 2007
In response to lil brown bat "It's not your place to tell people to "relax", which is nothing but a code word for "you're not allowed to take this seriously because I don't take it seriously" Like I said, I knew someone wouldn't have a clue. Relax means to not get your underwear in such a knot over a story about a Zamboni driver having a couple of brewski's during the first period of a hockey game. No one ever thought that drunk driving on the streets was a laughing matter. The sports tie in was the Zamboni, not drunk driving on the streets. At least that's how I see it.
posted by dviking at 08:27 PM on April 04, 2007
Yay-yo, you can say someone is over sensitive. You can't call people dumbasses. Well, you can, but not here. Other places have no problem with personal insults. Your choice.
posted by justgary at 12:35 AM on April 05, 2007
As a paraplegic (T-5,6,7 vertabra crushed) nearly 15 years ago I have had to come to forgive myself for my actions. Had 3 beers over a four hour period of time, was tired and it was time to get home. Cruse control set at 45mph I dozed off car left the road flipped 3 times only to finaly crack a telephone pole in two and be ejected from the car seeing as my seatbelt failed. Now it would seem I could sue GMC for a defective seatbelt but my BAL (blood alchohol level) was .1 Here in Alabama the legal limit is .08 so the judge through the case out citing I was driving under the influance. 3 beers in about 4 hours?, did I feel intoxicated?, hell no just tired. Luckaly for me noone else was injured but my life was totally turned upside down. Lost my job, my wife, my kids all because of my own actions. All this (TMI) just to say it comes down to each individual to choose how we react to such FPP's. L_B_B, I found this post hillarious on so many levels. To feel the need to appologize for the FPP only shows how a very vocal few can curb the fun and humor of the thought of this guy on 2 Valium (what mg? 2, 5, 10? it makes a big difference) with a shot of sambuca with his morning coffee and didnt drink again untill after he had re-finished the ice. Sensitivity is a fine line for most of us depending on the topic so my simpleton thought on this is the same in reguards to other threads where the dis-interested poster (such as I Hate Basketball, in a thread about basketball) simply move along, nothing to see here. In the same regaurd, if driving a Zamdonie while under the influance makes your skin crawl with hatred, by all means SKIP IT, Move Along, Nothing (but missery and sad memories) for you here. WOW, that may well be my longest post on SpoFi! I blame it on 80mgs of oxcyconton, 30mgs of Adderall and 3 cups of coffee all before eating anything at 9:45 am. Lastly, God Bless and lead us to a better understanding of each other in the future as we learn about all the members in our lil' corner of the Sports Web.
posted by Folkways at 09:57 AM on April 05, 2007
Geez folky - I had no idea. Congrats on what certainly seems like a good outlook on things. And on the myriad of delicious prescription drugs.
posted by WeedyMcSmokey at 10:32 AM on April 05, 2007
I wasn't sure if this should be under Extreme, Other, Culture, Hockey or Auto Racing, so apologies if I got it wrong.