12/21/24
February 07, 2007
Drew the body good: The gadgets he's turned to include a cosmonaut-tested healing device, a hyperbaric oxygen chamber, an infrared sauna, chips implanted in his cell phones and computers to limit radiation damage, and a myriad of other health-oriented products that promise better overall health.
Maybe there is also a cure for A-Rod's mind too..... wait- this is a biochemical detoxification specialist- not God. Dammit! For a second I thought he had a solution......
posted by Kendall at 02:25 PM on February 07, 2007
So this is the part where Drew attempts to strike pre-season at his reputation as a dogger who constantly gets hurt, right? I mean - no one really buys this crap, right? Red Sox fans know that a hyperbaric chamber and a radiation-limiting cellphone chip aren't really going to prevent a torn tendon, turf toe, bruised arm, or whathaveyou. You're not seriously suggesting your going to see 150 games from this guy or anything, because he has a renewed commitment to keeping in shape because he's not 20 anymore. Not to mention that all these seem like the ol' quick fix variety (It's a magic box! It takes years off your life!). I'll stick with the track record, thanks. Nice try though, J.D. - your people are working for you.
posted by WeedyMcSmokey at 03:42 PM on February 07, 2007
Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain.
posted by wingnut4life at 03:55 PM on February 07, 2007
He could have gotten all this stuff much cheaper at Michael Jackson's yard sale.
posted by wfrazerjr at 06:54 PM on February 07, 2007
Cardinal nation knows this mantra all TOO well... Play little, do less, make much... Major league words to live by, Bosox fans...
posted by wolfdad at 08:08 PM on February 07, 2007
I think the guy musta been hanging out with the "King of Pop" during this off season. What's next a chimp named "Fisk-y"?
posted by burghfan33 at 08:29 PM on February 07, 2007
I get the impression that many of Drew's injuries have been traumatic, rather than chronic. That said, staying healthy can be a skill, and at some point you just have to wonder whether Drew really is the victim of something other than bad luck.
posted by holden at 09:14 AM on February 08, 2007
That's what I was thinking, holden. When someone focuses so much on injuries, or injury-prevention, it's almost like the old "self-fulfilling prophecy" idea; you think about injuries, you'll wind up suffering injuries. There comes a time, even more so with a professional athlete, they need to just go out, let it fly, and think about performance. It sounds as if Drew would be better served only dealing with what's between his ears than what's possibly going to go wrong with the rest of his body. I can't help but think Boston will tear him up mentally if he should spend extended time on the DL this coming season.
posted by dyams at 09:53 AM on February 08, 2007
It sounds like Drew may have looked at a number of things and adopted them without doing any serious research. Wellness and nutrition programs can be a very useful tool in maintaining health, but only if maintained along with proper nutrition and exercise. As far as the "gadgets" go, some might be useful, some not. Hyperbaric chambers have had medical uses, particularly in the treatment of infection, for quite a while. I know nothing about the effects of the far infrared wavelengths on the body, and I am sceptical about "magnetic stimulation", although there is some evidence that magnetic bracelets can mitigate the effects of arthritis. Most of those who have studied cell phones agree that the effect of radiation from the low powered (600 milliwatts) cell phone is negligible. My work for the past 40 years has been around sources of non-ionizing radiation (radio waves) with far greater field intensities than any cell phone could produce. As far as I know, I am in good health, and I know of none of my colleagues who, having observed the usual safety precautions, have ever suffered any ill effects from exposure to high levels of RF radiation. Thus, any devices used to limit cell phone radiation are harmless but useless.
posted by Howard_T at 10:57 AM on February 08, 2007
If the guy can afford it and he believes it actually helps him avoid injuries, good for him. The question is, can he now sing "Billie Jean"?
posted by BornIcon at 11:58 AM on February 08, 2007
Sounds like a guy who has more money than he knows what to do with. Oh well, better than buying a bunch of assault weapons and filling your backyard with starving pitbulls (i.e. Tank Johnson).