June 22, 2006

Miami's in Heat: Dave Barry celebrates the NBA champion Miami Heat and the their bandwagon full of overnight lifetime fans. "Everybody's talking about how great the Heat are, and they certainly are, especially Dwyane Wade, who in my opinion should be placed in charge of the War on Terror."

posted by rcade to basketball at 05:29 PM - 12 comments

I love Dave Barry when he writes humorous columns. 'course, he hasn't done that since about 1983, but that's all right. I'll keep hoping.

posted by mr_crash_davis at 06:21 PM on June 22, 2006

Dwyane could defeat Terrorism in a matter of days as long as he was assisted by NBA officials that would penalize the terrorists for encroaching within his three-foot aura of protection

posted by graymatters at 06:29 PM on June 22, 2006

Aw, it was a spot of fun, crash. Also, Dave Barry's been a huge basketball fan for decades, so good on him for cheerfully writing a column bashing his team's fanbase.

posted by DrJohnEvans at 10:56 PM on June 22, 2006

So Dave came not to praise the Heat but to Barry them?

posted by curtangle at 12:24 AM on June 23, 2006

It's been a long time coming for the Miami Heat organization and I'm very proud of them . Keep up the good work !!!!!

posted by Mtrx0617 at 04:35 AM on June 23, 2006

Barry is hilarious in person. When I was a lowly intern, he was one of the few columnists (or full timers, for that matter) who would actually talk to the interns. He wrote an absolutely hilarious comparison of Heat fans vs. Magic fans some years ago, refuting the claim that Orlando averaged more attendance than Miami: "What can you expect in a town (Orlando) where a mob of hundreds routinely gather to watch sewer repair?" He and Carl Hiaasen are two of the funniest writers the Herald has ever employed.

posted by The_Black_Hand at 06:15 AM on June 23, 2006

I like Dave Barry - and I have always enjoyed the work of Phillip Michael Thomas (he kills in psychic infomercials), so I will tip my cap to Miami and its legions of know-nothing bandwagoneers. Has there ever been another city who's reputation to outsiders has been so affected by flim and TV? To me it's a place where you go to see beautiful women in string bikinis, arrange for a large purchase of cocaine from a man in a leisure suit with a mustache (and a hat), and stop wearing socks. Also - everyone is in some form of leopard print.

posted by WeedyMcSmokey at 07:57 AM on June 23, 2006

I was soo pissed at Memphis and Boston before this year started. I knew they were going to be really good, but I didnt think they would take the title. I hate Shaq with a passion but that Dwade is cold as ice in my book, which is a good thing for anyone unfamiliar with the term. I'm glad they finally give the All Star guard on Shaq's team some credit for once. Like he is weaving in and out of 5 people at will, that guy has half the SKILL of Dwade. If Dwade only took shots from 3 feet away I'm sure his career shooting percentage would look like fatboy's too.

posted by Drallig9399 at 08:26 AM on June 23, 2006

I've re-read that four times now and it still doesn't make any sense.

posted by DrJohnEvans at 08:53 AM on June 23, 2006

And what's extra funny is that most of Dwayne Wade's shots are from three feet. He led the NBA in scoring in the paint this year. God help us all if he ever gets starts hitting the three with regularity (as he was threatening to do in the second round).

posted by WeedyMcSmokey at 09:32 AM on June 23, 2006

I could only re-read it three times before my eyes became permanently cross-eyed.

posted by blarp at 09:32 AM on June 23, 2006

"Has there ever been another city who's reputation to outsiders has been so affected by flim and TV?"


Drallig9399 - Whatever you're on, hook me up.

posted by redsnare at 09:55 AM on June 23, 2006

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