04/18/24
May 03, 2002
Is this column written in English?: I've given up on trying to read Ralph Wiley's ESPN.com columns. Run-on sentences, slang and jive-talk coupled with obscure references and nonsense make his columns unreadable.
Here's a quote from his recent piece on how to fix the Knicks: "Then this proposed Knicks team won't contend to dethrone Shaq/Kobe until LeBron has three years under his belt and/or Yao figures out his butt from a hole in the ground and/or Jason figures out he's not God because he was Chosen by Duke, but just another good one who must play with passion to separate himself from the NFL pack, like Baron does (love him -- take him over Jase right now, which is saying a mouthful)."
What the heck does that mean? And while we're at it, how exactly are the Knicks going to get Baron Davis from Charlotte/New Orleans? Ridiculous.
posted by Conquistador to general at 10:33 AM - 7 comments
3 words: Sweet sassy molassy!
posted by Samsonov14 at 11:42 AM on May 03, 2002
Incredible. The combination of overwritten paragraphs, goofy "street" lingo, and bad basketball judgment is addictive. How much did Sports Illustrated editors have to work to get this guy's "28 cover stories" into publishable form? Besides, if Juwan Howard is the cure to what ails the Knicks, they're better off sick.
posted by rcade at 02:04 PM on May 03, 2002
I think we need Barbara Billingsley. She speaks jive, ya know.
posted by ttrendel at 02:47 PM on May 03, 2002
Does the Sporting News still do that Fly column? That was the most annoying column ever.
posted by corpse at 03:26 PM on May 03, 2002
I've been told that no one will catch the reference above. Just so you know, it's from an SNL Skit about a sportscaster who doesn't make a whole lot of sense. Like a fat girl waving her trophy from the smell contest.
posted by Samsonov14 at 03:29 PM on May 03, 2002
The writer could have achieved his objective in half the space. But this guy, like many of the Page 2 writers, likes to indulge himself and make the rest of us enjoy/endure the tangents sure to result. But ease up. Aside from the NFL reference (which I hope was a typo), what was so difficult to understand about the pulled paragraph? And what part of it is "jive-talk"?
posted by jackhererra at 11:54 PM on May 05, 2002
I don't get it at all. It's gibberish. It's impossible to read. It hurts my eyes. And what is the reference to the NFL? Here's my invoice. Be sure to get the name right. I don't think the Knicks will be offering any money and I sure hope ESPN.com thinks twice before sending this week's check.