Samsonov14's profile

Name: Alan Linquist
Location: Fort Bragg, NC
ZIP: 28310
Gender: How come people keep asking me that?
Member since: February 07, 2002
Last visit: September 09, 2015

Samsonov14 has posted 58 links and 1,064 comments to SportsFilter and 15 links and 453 comments to the Locker Room.

Sports Bio

If you ever hear that Jeremy Jacobs was stabbed by a 5'6" caucasian, there's a good chance it was me.

Recent Links

Little help? Apologies for the link title.: I got nothing here, but I used to exist on this website. One of my favorite things was the CD swap that we did a few times. It was a blast. Goddam introduced me to the best song ever performed about basketball. There was a guy named owlhouse who send me the - no shit - the best cd ever. It was pretty Australia-specific. I\\\'ve since heard \\\"Love this city\\\" a few times and I always think about how great that cd was. Great song! And that was the shittiest song on that CD. There was a song by the Warumpi band that was so no bullshit and bad ass and I can\\\'t find it anywhere. Owlhouse, if you\\\'re still out there anywhere, please tell the world where to find that Warumpi band song. Sorry for busting in here. I hope everyone is doing well.

posted by Samsonov14 to navel gazing at 12:19 PM on September 04, 2015 - 9 comments

Spofiswap 2 - Son of Spofiswap: Another Sportsfilter Music Swap? Why yes, let's!

Details can be found here, but it's pretty much the same as last year: You make a few copies of one mix CD that you create, send them out to four people, and get four new mix CDs in return. It's like a pyramid scheme, only more rectangular, or some such. Maybe it's a straight line? Whatever. I suck at math and geometry. You get the point. You send four CDs, you get four CDs.

The deadlines we set for the swap are a bit optimistic, and the number of groups and people per group can always change a little, but we hope to keep the changes from last year to a minimum. Goddam already has some awesome ideas for this year's team names and logos, so this should be lots of fun. Again.

Follow the instructions on the site linked to above if you're interested. Hope to hear from you soon.

P.S. "Spofiwap 2 - Electric Boogaloo" was too obvious.

posted by Samsonov14 to navel gazing at 05:48 PM on November 20, 2007 - 59 comments

Prelude to a faces punching : Did you get your music? I got most of mine. It has come to my attention, however, that some people have yet to send their CDs out. Know this: the guy that I know who will punch you in your faces has been working on a new move - one where he punches you with both fists at the same time!

So who owes you music? Call 'em out, because nothing humbles internet nerds more than other internet nerds talking smack about them in an unfrequented corner of a moderately popular sportsblog. Also so I know where to send Tommy Two-fists.

posted by Samsonov14 to navel gazing at 09:28 PM on January 28, 2007 - 54 comments

Sportsfilter CD swap: Break out your gramophone and your soundscriber and put that needle to the autoclave or whatever, because we are exchanging music: Pony Express style. Go to this place for details.

posted by Samsonov14 to navel gazing at 09:56 PM on December 16, 2006 - 151 comments

No one ever talks about the assistant coaches.: A head coach is always important, but what about the support staff? For every great coach, there is a Defensive Coordinator, a Goaltending Consultant, or a Pitching Coach who goes largely unrecognized. Here's a list of the top 10 second fiddles in sports.

posted by Samsonov14 to general at 12:49 AM on August 21, 2006 - 7 comments

Recent Comments

Red Wings' Nicklas Lidstrom: I don't have drive to play another season

One of the things that will stick with me about Lidstrom is that he played for decades at a very high level without being a dick on or off the ice.

posted by Samsonov14 at 09:43 AM on June 09, 2012

6 Bruins Sent to Penalty Box at Same Time

That was both the best and the worst game I`ve seen all year. No defense to speak of from either team. Two great goalies pretty much hung out to dry.

Tons of fights, which is always interesting. Here`s what I think:

I liked what I saw from the Bruins as a team, but I could have done without Ference punching Moen when he was on the ice. Not cool. And as far as the goalie fight went the Bruins are lucky that Price didnt destroy Thomas. I know that it wasn`t that kind of fight, but Price definitely had a chance to take a few shots at Thomas when Tim`s jersey was over his head. Price held back. Classy move.

The other fights were great to watch. Krejci got KOed. Cant win em all. In the last scrum, Campbell and Boychuk went crazy on Pyatt and Spacek, who would have been better off turtling.

I didn`t care for McQuaid trying to take on Max Pacioretty in the closing seconds of the game. McQuaid would have destroyed him. Max did the right thing in not engaging, and then scoring in the ensuing powerplay.

All in all, tons of fun. If you are a hockey fan, try to find a replay of this game. I still don`t know if it was a good game or not, but I do know that it was insanely entertaining.

The rivalry is still alive.

posted by Samsonov14 at 12:32 AM on February 11, 2011

Tennis Player Makes Comeback Bid at 43

There are worse epitaphs than "He's slightly nuts." Good on ya, old dude. Keep on keepin' on.

posted by Samsonov14 at 12:32 AM on October 29, 2010

Bruins Extend Chara for $45.5 Million

I remember when the Sens had Chara and Redden and couldn't afford to keep them both. They kept Redden, and the Bruins got Chara as a free agent.

All I could think was that the Bruins got a big useless jerk that would be a big nothing while Redden was the guy that would be a great defenseman for years to come.

I was wrong. Chara is very good, both as a defenseman and an example to all of the other players on the Bruins team. I don't know what the issue with this would be. The deal is fair, it's not crazy front-loaded, and it's a decent salary for a number one defenseman.

posted by Samsonov14 at 04:59 AM on October 16, 2010

Rah Deal

I can't apologize enough for my last comment. Just terrible, with no explanation. I wrote that when I was drunk, which is frequently when good stuff comes out of my mouth. Once in a blue moon I puke, which is bad stuff coming out of my mouth. That was me puking. Sorry.

posted by Samsonov14 at 04:41 AM on October 16, 2010

Transgender female sues to play on LPGA

Atheist said it pretty well. It's a weird gray area, and while transgendered people don't deserve to be called into question as people, some of them might be called into question as athletes who are undergoing medical treatments that might be giving them an unfair advantage.

And before anyone gets mad at me for being someone that just doesn't understand, full disclosure: I have four dicks and a vagina.

in the bottom drawer of my nightstand

posted by Samsonov14 at 04:27 AM on October 16, 2010

Rah Deal

I'm going to sound like a jerk here, but I can guarantee that everyone in this scenario dederves jail time.

posted by Samsonov14 at 02:33 PM on September 25, 2010

Rah Deal

Two different stories here:

The first one is where the author implies- with no real proof- that she was raped. RAPE! Maybe.

The second one is where the courts decided that she had her personal space invaded in an inappropriate way. That sounds kind of rapey, but in the eyes of the courts, its SIMPLE ASSAULT! Or something.

There's some terrible middle ground where rape and just being awful to a young girl come together, and that's where we are now. Something bad happened to this girl, and she still wanted to cheer for all of the guys except for Chad Rapesalot. She's a moron, but didn't deserve whatever did or did not happen to her.

If you can tell me why high-school cheerleading should still be a thing, I'll buy you a beer.

posted by Samsonov14 at 03:43 AM on September 25, 2010

Bet I can. Bet you can't.

Watched your video, and when your wife says "John does a home run" I was nearly overcome with delight. That should be on your tombstone.

John Somethingsomething
Did a Home Run
Loving Husband and Father

posted by Samsonov14 at 10:09 PM on September 22, 2010

NHL team names, and how they got them.

I love the Bruins, which as anyone who has read the article already knows could just as easily go by the less catchy but possibly more accurate moniker of "Grocery Bears," but my favorite team name by far is the New Jersey Devils.

The Jersey Devil was an abomination that lived in the Pine Barrens of New Jersey. According to this crazy Time Life Books series that my dad bought in the 80s (Mysteries of the Unknown), the Jersey Devil was the product of a tryst between an insane witch and Beelzebub himself. When it was born, the baby came out with the hooves of a horse, the wings of a bat, the face of a human lunatic, and the hockey IQ of Bobby Orr. That last part was added to make it awesomer.

It screamed all the time, and here's the part that messed me up when I was a kid: one night in some small town in Jersey in the 1800's, everyone in the village could hear the Jersey Devil screaming over the noise of the fiercest blizzard they'd had in decades. No one was brave enough to face both the storm and the offspring of The Devil, so they all stayed indoors. Many people reported hearing the Jersey Devil landing on their roofs, creepily clomping around. Clip-clop, clip-clop. In the morning, the residents went outside to check on their neighbors and make sure everyone was still okay. They found hoofprints in the snow. The prints could be traced all around the village. The fucked up part? They went right up to the wall of a building, disappeared, and started again on the opposite side of the house.

The moral of this story? I was an idiot as a ten-year old, and fuck you Time Life Books for making me freak out whenever an acorn landed on the roof above my bedroom.

Later, when I was in my twenties, I lived about 15 minutes away from the Meadowlands. I learned that as far as New Jersey goes, you are far more likely to see something horrifying in the parking lot at a Jets game than in the Pine Barrens.

Still, undeniably a great team name.

posted by Samsonov14 at 09:26 PM on September 22, 2010

Jets' WR Braylon Edwards busted in DWI

As a sports fan, I'm disappointed. As a Patriots fan, I'm disappointed that this didn't happen last week.

posted by Samsonov14 at 08:27 PM on September 22, 2010

Max Talbot: 'Ovechkin is a douche'

It's simultaneously what's wrong with hockey and youtube, but it's still out there. Say what you want about AO, but he's fun to watch.

That's why the pros make the big bucks?

posted by Samsonov14 at 08:52 AM on July 30, 2010

Petrino quits Falcons to take Arkansas job

One of the biggest things you look for as a recruiter is the past history of a potential employee. Petrino jumping ship is a huge red flag. You wouldn't hire him - character is important.

posted by Samsonov14 at 01:42 AM on December 14, 2007

Spofiswap 2 - Son of Spofiswap

I had eye surgery some time ago, and it's been a rough go at it. I now have 20/20 in my right eye and 20/-2.5 in my left. So I can read street signs and stuff if I close my left eye, but when I close my right eye I can see the horrible, inevitable future. The future is this: four more people will sign up for the Spofiswap. Do it, you four. P.S. - yerfatma, your next visit to the Cask and Flagon will be your last.

posted by Samsonov14 at 01:17 AM on December 14, 2007

The count is up to four.

I'm a huge Boston homer, so my opinion should be taken with a grain of salt, I guess. Having said that, I watched that hit many, many times, and still: Two games? Really? I tried to be nice about the Jones hit on Bergeron, because maybe it was an honest mistake. We're at the point now where there's no excuse for any more cheap-shots. It would be one hell of a coincidence if once in every five games or so one of the Flyers just happens to take liberties with an opposing team's player by accident. It would be one thing if they were the Broad Street Bullies of yesteryear, but they aren't beating opponents with their fists, they're blindsiding them. That's not tough. It's cowardly.

posted by Samsonov14 at 08:48 PM on November 27, 2007