11/17/24
January 29, 2004
You need to read these three articles following a top high-school linebacker as he goes on recruiting trips to various schools (FSU, Auburn, Miami). You may find they are a horrible example of how young athletes are innapropriately fawned over. Personally, I think they skyrocketing to the top of the unintentional comedy scale. (Links courtesy of the Sports Guy, naturally.)
My favorite sequence -- The Auburn Spinach Dip Assualt: During the wait, several of the female hosts, nicknamed the "Tigerettes", offered him some of their spinach dip. "You know how it is, those girls are supposed to be there to cheer you up," Williams said. "But I told them, 'I ain't no animal, and I ain't going to eat no plant.' "But they kept pushing it toward me. It was disgusting. I told them, 'I'm from Miami. I don't eat that. You farm people are used to it, but not me." Guffaw.
posted by dzot at 01:35 PM on January 29, 2004
First of all: What the recruits didn't know at the time was that they were in for a treat -- a trip to Bobby Bowden's home for his wife's homemade deserts. The next monring, Williams met with coach Tommy Tuberville for 20 minutes. Ugh. Don't they have an editor? I can handle that on a personal website, but in the Miami Herald? Sorry, sorry.... pet peeve. It's a good thing that these are pretty funny since the pandering and whining are somewhat nauseating. This is definitely the best line, though: ''Coach Coker must be related to Cleo or something,'' Williams said of the famed TV psychic. ``The man knew what I wanted and had it already ordered. I didn't need a menu. I told him, `Coach, how did you know what I like?' He referenced Miss Cleo! That's awesome!
posted by Ufez Jones at 02:06 PM on January 29, 2004
Also, via Fark, comes this article about Minnesota football players taking recruits to a strip club. Agreed that the Williams pieces are classic.
posted by mbd1 at 02:56 PM on January 29, 2004
Did Colorado use sex parties to lure recruits?
posted by gyc at 07:43 PM on January 29, 2004
gyc, mbd1, sounds like those coaches understood what the recruits wanted just fine.
posted by billsaysthis at 10:03 PM on January 29, 2004
So much for little mid-majors busting into the big time, I guess. Competing with that shit would get too depressing, or too embarrassing, or too expensive pretty fast. My favorite bit: I was kind of worried all Auburn had to offer was those farmer girls that talked funny. But the girls at the party weren't farmer girls at all. I thought they must have bused them in from Miami. I see a reality show in there somewhere.
posted by jason streed at 11:42 PM on January 29, 2004
posted by mbd1 at 12:05 PM on February 04, 2004
I read those earlier today and can hardly wait for the series to wrap up. There are so many funny moments in there that I found it hard to believe that it was for real. UIC for sure.