04/25/24
December 12, 2003
Roger Clemens pitching in Houston?: Radio station stunt or a real possibility?
I was trying to come up with a good intro for the "hummer" deal, but they were all too crude for this fine establishment. What does it say about Clemens if an oversized Tonka truck can buy him off? After all those "this is it" interviews, too. What a loser.
posted by dusted at 03:33 PM on December 12, 2003
You actually thought he'd stay retired? Really? I'm sorry. See, in Boston, we understand Rogerspeak. It's all about interpretation of the verbiage. When he says "I want to play closer to home in Texas" of course that really means, "I am going to Canada!" Naturally, "I am retiring this year" must have meant, "I am retiring until someone can replace my hummer" I'm just glad he's going NL this time. I wonder if one of Piazza's teammates will have a turn at retribution when Roger's at the plate. Steinbrenner is going to have a #*$@ cow.
posted by jerseygirl at 03:51 PM on December 12, 2003
I have thought all along that he's got another year in him. Didn't he win, what...15 games? /lazy
posted by vito90 at 03:58 PM on December 12, 2003
So he really meant it when he told us he was going to play for Houston? Wow. He's only like 6 years late.
posted by yerfatma at 04:22 PM on December 12, 2003
I'm just glad he's going NL this time. I wonder if one of Piazza's teammates will have a turn at retribution when Roger's at the plate. Steinbrenner is going to have a #*$@ cow. Oh man, I forgot about this. /salivates
posted by djacobs at 04:32 PM on December 12, 2003
I'll tell you one thing — if Clemens joins the Astros because these two guys found him a replacement ride, THEY should be the ones getting the Hummers.
posted by wfrazerjr at 05:14 PM on December 12, 2003
guys will do anything for a Hummer, apparently.
posted by jerseygirl at 05:44 PM on December 12, 2003
Oh no you di'unt! OH NO YOU DI'UNT! Actually, that's gospel.
posted by wfrazerjr at 05:46 PM on December 12, 2003
figured.
posted by jerseygirl at 05:52 PM on December 12, 2003
Supposedly (via a co-worker), the Rangers offered to let him pitch only at the Ballpark in Arlington and told him he wouldn't have to travel with the team. And he still turned it down. I wonder how much being on a potentially successful team, with a recently signed Andy, may affect his decision.
posted by Ufez Jones at 07:32 PM on December 12, 2003
Even though it worked out well with Nolan Ryan, there's something inherently wimpy about coddling an athlete in that manner. The Rocket ate batters for breakfast for 20 years. Does he really want to tarnish that with a few years of being babied, especially in Ranger blue?
posted by rcade at 09:10 PM on December 12, 2003
As jerseygirl says, this really isn't a surprise to sox fans, or anyone who has followed Clemens. You basically have to take anything he says with a grain of salt. He's been an arrogant SOB his entire career so why should it change now? From a Pat Jordan interview about Clemens and his time with him: "Yeah, he’s a total narcissist, but he’s also…he’s not bright. It’s sort of like being with an overgrown child. He’s a hyperactive child, all the time. I’m a believer that the reason he works out so hard is to burn off energy. Cause he’s like the kid that you have to keep chocolate away from, you know? You know when you have the kid, he can’t concentrate on anything and the doctor says, “Don’t let him eat chocolate?” That’s Roger Clemens. He’s not…he’s not a bad guy, he’s just arrested development, I guess. You think you are with an arrogant fourteen year-old kid when you’re with him. You’re not with a grown up. "
posted by justgary at 11:25 PM on December 12, 2003
Surprised no one else has brought this up, but 'the' thing he planned to do in retirement- pitch in the Olympics- is now not an option for him, since the national team lost in qualifiers. I wouldn't be surprised if that is a major factor. ESPN suggests that he is also a good friend of Andy Pettite which probably helps.
posted by tieguy at 10:05 AM on December 13, 2003
I agree on the olympics angle. I'm sure in his mind he would lead the US to an olympic victory as a final story in his career. Instead he got knocked out early in his final game against boston and did not go out with a world series win. Those reasons probably fit right behind his giant ego.
posted by justgary at 10:50 AM on December 13, 2003
he'll sign with the Stros, the park is only 8 miles from his house. That plus Andy plus the pitiful olympic situation will make him change his mind. He won't be that helpful because to be honest last year he wasn't even that good. But George will go nuts, and all Yankee fans will hate him and begin to understand the feelings of Red Sox Nation. I hope he's hitting with Piazza behind him and Piazza dings him in the face with a return throw to the pitcher.
posted by Bernreuther at 10:08 AM on December 15, 2003
j-girl, or anyone qualified, please fill in the blank. Girls will do anything for a ______, apparently. The panel is looking for an answer as ubiquitous as the one above.
posted by garfield at 11:26 AM on December 15, 2003
Klondike Bar, dude! 
posted by wfrazerjr at 12:11 PM on December 15, 2003
I mainly posted this for the inappropriately placed basket on the balloon. Nice, huh?
posted by wfrazerjr at 12:13 PM on December 15, 2003
uh thanks, weirdo!
posted by jerseygirl at 12:47 PM on December 15, 2003
Well, c'mon! Answer garfield's question!
posted by wfrazerjr at 02:42 PM on December 15, 2003
j-girl, or anyone qualified, please fill in the blank. Girls will do anything for a ______, apparently. I didn't see it! and now I'd have to think about it.
posted by jerseygirl at 02:55 PM on December 15, 2003
and I am NOT weird. I am normalcy challenged.
posted by wfrazerjr at 03:40 PM on December 15, 2003
Girls will do anything for a ______, apparently Hmmm... Diamond ring? husband who will do the dishes at least once a week? date with Ewan McGregor? tv channel dedicated to Oprah, Y&R, the Naked Chef and Trading Spaces? Anything else generally sexist I can put in there?
posted by grum@work at 05:24 PM on December 15, 2003
I was going to say diamond ring, but it should probably read "girls will do anything until the diamond ring, apparently."
posted by dusted at 06:12 PM on December 15, 2003
Diamond ring? husband who will do the dishes at least once a week? date with Ewan McGregor? tv channel dedicated to Oprah, Y&R, the Naked Chef and Trading Spaces? replace that ewan mcgregor with colin farrell and now we're talking. oh, and 86 oprah, the soaps and the chef and replace them with the Daily Show, The OC and the Simpsons and you're getting warmer. "girls will do anything until the diamond ring, apparently." Untrue! Lies!
posted by jerseygirl at 08:43 PM on December 15, 2003
So girls will do anything for a date with a hard drinking & smoking womanizing bloke? Don't get me wrong, but that isn't exactly hard to come by, and yet woman seem so hard to please...
posted by garfield at 10:50 AM on December 16, 2003
that's women, because I've seen more than one of you on the street.
posted by garfield at 11:17 AM on December 16, 2003
hey, i didnt say i wanted to marry him.
posted by jerseygirl at 12:39 PM on December 16, 2003
tru nuf
posted by garfield at 01:12 PM on December 16, 2003
By the way, Clemens was quoted in an AP story this morning (in a newspaper, people — would it kill you all to go spend 50 cents so I can continue to climb my career ladder?) as saying that six other teams had contacted him, including a couple who were interested in having him as their closer. I hadn't thought about that ... could the Rocket come back reincarnated as Calvin Schiraldi? Or maybe someone even better?
posted by wfrazerjr at 11:48 PM on December 16, 2003
I'm pretty sure this is the best example of a good starter being converted into a good closer.
posted by grum@work at 08:56 AM on December 17, 2003
What about the Braves and Smoltz? He seems to be pretty awesome as a closer the laast two seasons.
posted by billsaysthis at 01:55 PM on December 17, 2003
Smoltz: 157 wins as a starting pitcher Eck: 151 wins as a starting pitcher Smoltz: 110 saves as a closer Eck: 390 saves as a closer Smoltz was a better starting pitcher, but he's got a long way to go to make up the difference as a relief pitcher. By the way, as good as Smoltz and Gagne were this year, check out Eck's 1990 season. His ERA was 6.06 times better than the league average (ERA+)!
posted by grum@work at 02:58 PM on December 17, 2003
Teeheehee ... I knew Grum would get worked up. I happen to think this could be a terrific idea for pitchers nearing the ends of their careers. Rather than tossing them on the scrap heap because they can't go the distance (well, 6-7 innings) any longer, why not convert them? Wouldn't Randy Johnson be stinking frightening for one inning? The only thing I would wonder about would be the change in the frequency of pitching. Would it screw up Roger's arm to go hard every other day as opposed to every fifth day? Is there some sort of treatise on this?
posted by wfrazerjr at 03:18 PM on December 17, 2003
I hate it that I can be baited so easily. Sigh.
posted by grum@work at 08:20 PM on December 17, 2003
grum, if yyou give Smoltz enough time he might catch up but I'm just saying he's had two pretty heavy seasons as a closer.
posted by billsaysthis at 09:51 PM on December 17, 2003
Man, you scooped me to the story. I had a great "Clemens maybe coming out of retirement for a Hummer!" FPP title all set up too.