December 16, 2011

Sandusky Was Teaching Boys How To Shower: A defense attorney for accused child molester Jerry Sandusky has claimed that the former Penn State assistant football coach showered with young boys in order to teach them how to wash properly.

posted by Tinman to basketball at 11:20 AM - 20 comments

Really?......I mean really?

posted by Tinman at 11:21 AM on December 16

I know that schools teach sex ed, they do it without having the teacher bang a kid in front of the class. There are kids that smell. They are sent to the nurse to hear about how they need to wash properly. Everyone stays clothed.

What a crock of Shit.

posted by Debo270 at 11:36 AM on December 16

Oh...ok. All is well then.

posted by cheemo13 at 11:36 AM on December 16

What I meant by my original comment was: You have got to be f-ing kidding me. If that's his defense, he will die in jail. Good riddance.

posted by Tinman at 11:50 AM on December 16

Rominger tries to clarify his statement.

posted by goddam at 12:37 PM on December 16

Sandusky seems to be good at selecting exceptionally terrible lawyers.

posted by rcade at 01:10 PM on December 16

His emphasis on rectal health suggests a personal issue.

posted by yerfatma at 01:21 PM on December 16

I think makes it clear how weak his defense position is. You've got so many accusers I've lost count, and his defense is going to be they are all unreliable witnesses and liars and misunderstood how I was trying to help them learn valuable life skills like showering.

posted by BikeNut at 01:22 PM on December 16

They all just need to stop talking. It isn't helping the defense at all.

posted by bperk at 01:27 PM on December 16

I suppose when he was in school his dog ate his homework too. What a freak!

posted by hockeyfreak at 01:47 PM on December 16

Oh, man, the "Aristocrats" style dark-humor comedian in me wants to go on this whole "Ten Other Completely Reasonable Excuses for Sandusky showering with kids" kick, but the more mature part of my brain is going "too soon, too soon."


#2 would be "suspected them of smuggling drugs, but didn't want to make them feel bad by falsely accusing them, so needed to find some other way to check."


Now I need a shower. Alone.

posted by Joey Michaels at 01:48 PM on December 16

The Attorney General's Office actually will have to step in and save Sandusky by having his attorneys replaced ... they should be disbarred immediately.

I'm going to take a bath. At least I'll be seated.

posted by jjzucal at 02:16 PM on December 16

Rominger might have been a bit more believable had he said that Sandusky showered with the boys in order to conserve water and energy. That might have gotten him some support from the environmentalists.

The preceding has been a test of the SpoFi sarcasm detector. This is only a test. Do not respond with flames or derision.

posted by Howard_T at 03:05 PM on December 16

Howard_T: We were on the same page with that joke. On my imaginary top ten list, that would have made the top five.

posted by Joey Michaels at 03:55 PM on December 16

Where does "Just watched Psycho! and couldn't shower alone" rank?

posted by yerfatma at 04:20 PM on December 16

Every time I read about this story and it's accompanying, unmitigated bullshit, I feel the need to take a shower.

"Then I would show them how to self-examine for testicular cancer."

posted by WeedyMcSmokey at 04:42 PM on December 16

Good thing this wasn't a predominantly Jewish football camp, as that might have presented even worse checks than testicular cancer involves.

Would now be a good time to mention that I once had a Junior High gym teacher take a towel to my back (not my back side, just my upper back) to teach me how to properly dry my back. He left my back very red.

That he did so minutes after I successfully defended myself from a bully that was in his class, probably had a lot to do with it. I was in 8th grade, the other kid 9th.

Oddly, he seemed perplexed when my mother called the authorities.

If cops in my little home town didn't buy the "I was trying to teach them how to shower" bit back in the 70's, I doubt Sandusky's lawyers are going to pull it off now. (for the record, he got a verbal warning, and had to leave the locker room if I was present, which really pissed him off because he was the wrestling coach and had to leave if the basketball team was around.)

posted by dviking at 05:09 PM on December 16

Where does "Just watched Psycho! and couldn't shower alone" rank?

I'm going to move that up to #1 and put Weedy's "testicular cancer" response in at #2.

posted by Joey Michaels at 07:00 PM on December 16

I just don't understand why he kept watching it.

posted by yerfatma at 10:12 PM on December 16

Did they play "Who drops the soap and pick it up?"

posted by trueblueroo at 12:08 AM on December 17

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