October 25, 2011

SportsFilter: The Tuesday Huddle:

A place to discuss the sports stories that aren't making news, share links that aren't quite front-page material, and diagram plays on your hand. Remember to count to five Mississippi before commenting in anger.

posted by huddle to general at 06:00 AM - 33 comments

Taiwanese Baseball League + Google Translate :

19 assassinations and 22 "Help to kills" is nice, but it's no Greg Maddux.

posted by Mr Bismarck at 07:16 AM on October 25, 2011

What the hell game is this for?

posted by NoMich at 07:44 AM on October 25, 2011

That is rich.

posted by beaverboard at 07:47 AM on October 25, 2011

19 assassinations and 22 "Help to kills" is nice...

That's a slow Friday night for Maddux.

posted by BornIcon at 07:57 AM on October 25, 2011

"Pirates of the Base Resistance Kill"

They should never have made the 5th movie without Johnny Depp.

posted by grum@work at 08:46 AM on October 25, 2011

I hit the face of!

posted by lil_brown_bat at 08:53 AM on October 25, 2011

That's quality, Bismarck. Thanks for posting.

posted by JJ at 08:59 AM on October 25, 2011

What I get from that is in 26 appearances, at least 5 people died in 24 of them. He's no fireman.

posted by yerfatma at 09:15 AM on October 25, 2011

"They should never have made the 5th movie without Johnny Depp."

Jason Statham as Johnny Depp, Kristen Stewart as IKEA Knightley and Seth Rogan as Orlando Bloom in Michael Bay's Pirates of the Base Resistance Kill 3D Lens Flare Explosion Edition.

I'd watch that.

posted by Mr Bismarck at 09:17 AM on October 25, 2011

Taking it seriously, my best guesses are:

Season pitching stats
Starting: Starts
Backing: Relief appearances
Complete Cast: Complete games
Shutout: Shutouts
No Four Dead: ?
Victory: Wins
Failure: Losses
Rescue: Saves
Aid defeated: Blown Saves
Relay: Holds
Rounds: Innings Pitched
Defense rate: ?

Fielding stats
Race Number: ?
Garrison Opportunity: Fielding attempts
Assassinations: Put outs
Help to kill: Assists
Mistakes: Errors
Double play: Double plays
Three killed: Triple plays
Catch yi: Pick-offs
Pirates of the base resistance kill: Caught stealing
Stolen success: Stolen bases
Garrison rate: Fielding percentage
Shou-bit: ?

Pitching stats
I hit the face of: Walks
Pitch count: strike outs
By hits: hits
By homer: home runs
Won the strike out: Final strike out?
Sisi Qiu : ?
Wild Pitch : Wild Pitch
Lose Points: ?
ERA : ?

Stats vs Opposition
Starting: Starts against
Backing: Relief against
Complete cast: Complete games against
Shutout: Shutouts against
No ???: ?
Wins: Wins against
Lost Market: Losses against
Successful rescue: Saves against
Rescue fails: Blown saves against
Relay Point: Holds against
Innings Pitched: Innings Pitched
Defense Rate: ?

posted by grum@work at 11:12 AM on October 25, 2011

Thanks Captain No-Fun!

posted by yerfatma at 01:21 PM on October 25, 2011

I wonder how this right hander earned his 'right to fight'.

posted by bender at 02:29 PM on October 25, 2011

Some guesses on the terms:

No Four Dead = Base on Balls?

Defense Rate = Dollars per win?

Sisi Qiu = The good looking clubhouse girl (did he score with her?)

I have no idea about the rest of them.

posted by Howard_T at 02:36 PM on October 25, 2011

Two GrantLand writers have terrible taste in National Anthems. Zooey Deschanel's simple rendition was great.

posted by rcade at 03:53 PM on October 25, 2011

I agree with them. I thought that was awful. It was high school football game quality, not the freakin' World Series.

posted by bperk at 04:31 PM on October 25, 2011

Are you sure you're not thinking of Demi Lovato, last night's singer? Deschanel was the manic pixie dream girl the night before.

posted by rcade at 04:37 PM on October 25, 2011

I want to know how he went from being called Danel (sic) Reichert to "Robert 38."

Is Taiwanese baseball some sort of witness protection scheme for former first round busts?

posted by Mr Bismarck at 04:53 PM on October 25, 2011

Sisi Qiu is a often asked for girl at the "House of Smiles"...5 is a very impressive number indeed.

posted by dviking at 05:24 PM on October 25, 2011

Just heard on ESPN that John Lackey is having Samuel Adams surgery and will miss 2012.

posted by dyams at 06:26 PM on October 25, 2011

Governor Chris Christie has announced that the 2013 USA Formula 1 Grand Prix will be held in New Jersey...

"They compare it to Spa but it will have the feel of Monaco" said West New York attorney and 2011 Keeping-a-Straight-Face World Champion Joe DeMarco.

I'm not sure that having a street course ringed with jet-skis is all it takes to "have the feel of Monaco."

The race will run on existing roads through Port Imperial and at the top of the Palisades in Weehawken and West New York.

posted by Mr Bismarck at 07:54 PM on October 25, 2011

While it's certainly funny, renaming W-L into "Victories" and "Failures" definitely puts a starker and harder-edge to his efforts.

But he has yet to steal someone's success. Poor guy.

posted by Bonkers at 11:05 PM on October 25, 2011

ringed with jet-skis

Been listening to The Bugle?

posted by yerfatma at 08:53 AM on October 26, 2011

Everything I know about New Jersey I learned from The American.

posted by Mr Bismarck at 08:59 AM on October 26, 2011

So why haven't you moved there yet?

posted by yerfatma at 11:21 AM on October 26, 2011

Are you sure you're not thinking of Demi Lovato, last night's singer? Deschanel was the manic pixie dream girl the night before.

Thankfully, I missed Demi Lovato's rendition. I don't understand why they can't get better singers for the World Series. They should have a contest with fans voting for the best National Anthem's at the regular season games. Then the best of them get to perform at the World Series.

posted by bperk at 11:27 AM on October 26, 2011

They should have a contest with fans voting for the best National Anthem's at the regular season games.

"Tonight's national anthem, as selected by you, will be performed by...William Hung!"

Seriously, any voting that allows online ballots and the potential for public humiliation is going to get 4chan/reddit/SomethingAwful involved and is going to be a debacle.

posted by grum@work at 11:34 AM on October 26, 2011

It can just be stadium voting. Of course, you have to have a committee weeding out the Hung's of the world. I would guess most people wouldn't want to make a mockery of the national anthem.

posted by bperk at 12:00 PM on October 26, 2011

So why haven't you moved there yet?

If my job moves to Englewood Cliffs I may have no choice.

posted by Mr Bismarck at 12:31 PM on October 26, 2011

The race will run on existing roads through Port Imperial and at the top of the Palisades in Weehawken and West New York.

Hell, that's where Burr shot Hamilton. Maybe they'll start a Vice Presidential Guns A' Blazin' Tour and hold a follow up race in the Texas highlands where Cheney went shootin' at some food and hit a banker.

posted by beaverboard at 02:07 PM on October 26, 2011

I don't understand why they can't get better singers for the World Series.

They could. But Fox prefers to promote their shit any way they can. It also amazes me how many guys turn into Randy Jackson during the World Series and Super Bowl. Unless it's Rosanne or Carl Lewis, who cares about a middling rendition of a tuneless song?

posted by yerfatma at 02:49 PM on October 26, 2011

Is there something wrong with turning into Randy Jackson, dawg?

posted by rcade at 02:53 PM on October 26, 2011

This whole time, I thought that guy at the top of this was Brian Wilson without the dye job.

Black ops, indeed.

posted by wfrazerjr at 03:24 PM on October 26, 2011

Is there something wrong with turning into Randy Jackson, dawg?

Well, these games have been a little pitchy.

posted by yerfatma at 03:35 PM on October 26, 2011

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