May 16, 2003

Michael Jordan Tried to Steal My Date, : and other stories of MJ's troubled stay in Washington DC.
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posted by kirkaracha to basketball at 11:54 AM - 17 comments

If this story is true, then what an ass Jordan is. He gets word that his wife has filed for divorce and then tries to go pick up a woman that night? As the years go by, I think we'll learn a lot more about the real Jordan. Not the polished, squeaky-clean, safe for your kids MJ, but how he really was. I think he'll wind up more like Martha Stewart than Bobby Brady. Is there any word on the veracity of these stories, or are they all just sent in by readers and printed? And something tells me that the guy that wrote the story about Jordan stealing his date has sharpened his writing style by penning several "Letter to Penthouse". And talk about a dwindling legend, see "Air Sick".

posted by Ufez Jones at 12:16 PM on May 16, 2003

good post kirkaracha, thanks for sharing. the whole section of stories are interesting - taking potshots at a legend. i never thought i would read stuff like that. i mean i hate to be like one of the supermarket tabloid readers that give even the slightest care about the personal life of a celebrity but he has been built up to be this incredible person and surely he isn't all that he is made to seem. i've never heard him described as one of the nicest guys in basketball or anything complimentary like that. these stories seem to be a little bitter. dirty laundry. i didn't read all of the stories but i got enough of a taste. I wished he'd stayed retired after the 6th title and the game winning shot over utah. his legacy, for me, took a hit no matter what he did on the court.

posted by gspm at 12:28 PM on May 16, 2003

When I was 17, Toad the Wet Sprocket stole my date. They played tennis. True story.

posted by Samsonov14 at 01:12 PM on May 16, 2003

They played tennis. On the date?

posted by garfield at 02:56 PM on May 16, 2003

I read every bit of all of these stories. Yeah, they're cheap shots, bullets (ha!) fired into the back of a departing legend ... but I'm betting from what I've heard that they are all true. And damned funny to boot.

posted by wfrazerjr at 03:13 PM on May 16, 2003

"When I was 17, Toad the Wet Sprocket stole my date." Dude ... the whole band?

posted by wfrazerjr at 03:13 PM on May 16, 2003

Really! The whole band!? Samsonov, spill it. Excellent, highly enjoyable post. Who would have thought Jordan was big pimpin' like that. Not me.

posted by jerseygirl at 03:17 PM on May 16, 2003

The whole band played tennis on a date with your girl? Dude, that's wrong. Is that what the kids call it now, 'tennis'?

posted by garfield at 03:56 PM on May 16, 2003

We're waiting...

posted by 86 at 07:00 PM on May 16, 2003

Alright you jerks, here's what happened. My friend Shane and I drove down to Myrtle beach, where incidentally a 17 year-old can buy beer at the Piggly Wiggly with his brothers old ID. We talk up these two cute girls on the beach for hours, until they finally decide to meet up with us the next day at their hotel room. They were busy that night, heading out to see a band. So Shane and I go back to our hotel, get hammered and go to bed. We wake up the next morning and drive to the hotel room where we're supposed to meet the girls. When we get there, we're greeted by another girl they were with, who says "Oh, there not in. They're out back playing tennis with Toad the Wet Sprocket." Say what? I'm ready to leave, because I figure the girls just ditched us. Shane decides that we need to check the story out before we give up, so we head out back to the tennis courts. We get out there and see the long-haired lead singer and some other dick from the band playing fucking mixed doubles with the girls. These girls are 16 years old, man! It's plainly obvious that they're planning some R. Kelly-style fun. All I'm saying is that if I was semi-famous, I'd use my powers to hump girls of legal age. So I'm ready to give up, because I can talk to girls, but that's about the extent of my appeal. I'm short, I'm no Adonis, and I don't have a record deal. Shane, on the other hand, thinks he's going to talk the girls into meeting up with us later on. Riiight. So the girls talk to us for about ten seconds, and say they'll call us at our hotel room later that night. Say it with me: Riiight. The two of us go back to our hotel and wait for the phone call, which of course never happens. Thank God for the Piggly Wiggly, Shane's brother's ID, and the good people at the Miller Brewing Co. Anyway, if you ever see Toad the Wet Sprocket opening up for Crowded House or whatever the hell they're doing these days, be sure to tell those fuckers that you know all about the lead singer and Lisa, the 16 year-old form Croton Academy. Dicks.

posted by Samsonov14 at 07:01 PM on May 16, 2003

"So Shane and I go back to our hotel, get hammered and go to bed." -- Samsonov14

posted by 86 at 07:05 PM on May 16, 2003

hahahahahahaha

posted by corpse at 07:33 PM on May 16, 2003

Man, this is already better than our upcoming interview, Samsonov. How am I going to top that one? Hahahahahaha

posted by worldcup2002 at 07:36 PM on May 16, 2003

hahahahahahaha.

posted by jerseygirl at 11:19 PM on May 16, 2003

um..., hahahahahahahah??????

posted by Ufez Jones at 02:12 AM on May 17, 2003

I've always hated Toad and his Wet Sprockets, and now I feel justified. Down with amphibians and machined metals!!!

posted by garfield at 03:28 PM on May 17, 2003

Wow ... I'll never listen to their waltzing version of "I Wanna Rock and Roll All Night" again without thinking of you, Samsonov14, and the royal cockblocking you received. Bastards!

posted by wfrazerjr at 11:22 AM on May 18, 2003

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