04/20/24
October 22, 2010
Runner Banned for Using Penis Enhancer: The bad news? Olympic gold medalist runner LaShawn Merritt has been barred through July 2011 for using a banned substance found in the male enhancement product Extenze. The good news? The arbitration panel admires his candor enough to shorten his punishment by three months. Merritt "was exemplary and demonstrated tremendous character in making what had to be a painful and humiliating confession," they wrote.
Glad they admired his candor enough to issue him a shortening.
posted by beaverboard at 06:14 PM on October 22, 2010
At least he had the balls to admit his shortcomings.
posted by cixelsyd at 07:09 PM on October 22, 2010
Can you really run faster with three legs?
posted by graymatters at 07:13 PM on October 22, 2010
Clearly, he has been considering switching from running to the pole vault. Or maybe the javelin.
posted by Joey Michaels at 07:53 PM on October 22, 2010
I guess that's one way to reach across the finish line first...
posted by MeatSaber at 09:32 PM on October 22, 2010
Now if he'd only used Maradona's method, not just for avoiding testing positive, but in other aspects of his life...
posted by owlhouse at 11:08 PM on October 22, 2010
Now that it has been confirmed that SpoFi is riddled with dong chucklers, the real question emerges:
Which one of us is actually Clarence Thomas?
posted by beaverboard at 08:55 AM on October 23, 2010
Which one of us is actually Clarence Thomas?
I sat next to Anita Hill on a plane a few years ago; the lack of a strategically placed pubic hair on her can of diet Coke should completely exonerate me.
posted by tahoemoj at 11:57 AM on October 23, 2010
Has Bret Favre asked for this guy's e-mail address or is Bret content with Photo Shop?
Oh no!!! Here we go again with another one of these ROFL threads.
posted by Howard_T at 02:42 PM on October 23, 2010
Oh no!!! Here we go again with another one of these ROFL threads.
See your doctor right away if you've been laughing at this article and accompanying thread for a period lasting longer than 4 hours!
posted by NerfballPro at 05:46 PM on October 23, 2010
I don't think you're helping any pain or humiliation by describing the confession as painful and humiliating.