The Hoser's NFL Picks 2009, Week One: NFL picks that are already sick of the league's crappy overtime system.
Welome back, Hoser !
posted by tommybiden at 11:44 PM on September 11, 2009
While the Stafford line is good, the Sanchez zinger is absolutely filthy !
posted by tommybiden at 11:50 PM on September 11, 2009
Huzzah for the Hoser's picks! And the Cards are in for the Big Game Losers Jinx.
posted by THX-1138 at 02:38 AM on September 12, 2009
Great stuff as usual, Hoser. But Methuselah already owns the Raiders.
posted by Mr Bismarck at 07:56 AM on September 12, 2009
Re Staford and Walmart: I'd have gone with $1.25 Store. But overall a 9 for funny.
posted by billsaysthis at 01:03 PM on September 12, 2009
Football season is officially here, ushered in by The Hoser's picks. Good to see you, sir.
RE the Philadelphia vs Carolina game, I thought Roger Goodell had banned the playing of "Who Let the Dogs Out". That's OK though; "How Much is That Doggie in the Window" is much kinder and gentler.
posted by Howard_T at 02:53 PM on September 12, 2009
Hoser Update after the early games:
6-4 Against The Spread 10-0 Straight Up
There's some great news for me, though. I chose a different three games against the spread on Pro-Line (it's a Canadian thing) -- Jets, Broncos and Falcons -- to cover and won myself $50 on $10. Also, being 9 to 9 today means I'm still in on the big football pool. Hitting 15 of 15 generally pays more than a grand, and I have favourites the rest of the way out.
Keep your fingers crossed!
posted by wfrazerjr at 04:52 PM on September 13, 2009
Who the hell is Drew Stafford?
posted by MeatSaber at 07:17 PM on September 13, 2009
And the Cardinals have boned me out of a chance at a grand. Calling that offensive line porous would be too kind. I will be extremely pissed if Green Bay, New England and San Diego win this evening and tomorrow -- and they should.
And Drew Stafford should be Matthew Stafford -- Sabres on the brain and it's been fixed.
posted by wfrazerjr at 08:28 PM on September 13, 2009
Goddamn Aaron Rodgers goddamn bastard slacker goddammit. I hate fantasy football. Hate it, hate it, hate it.
(oh yeah, good to see you back, Hoser)
posted by lil_brown_bat at 08:47 AM on September 14, 2009
It was an exciting week for The Hoser, and not just because his long streak of being unable to pick a Lock of the Week now carries over from last season. Seriously, I'm the Detroit Lions of Locks.
After the early Sunday games we were 9-for-9 straight up on our Pro*Picks NFL Pool ticket, having called the Denver and NY upsets.
It looked like pretty smooth sailing for the last six games. How could Seattle, Arizona, New England or San Diego have any trouble?
It turned out there was plenty of trouble, but only Arizona -- which apparently replaced its offensive line with a bunch of six-year-old girls in the offseason -- kept me from claiming the big prize. I did win $50 on a parlay of the Broncos, Jets and and Falcons, so I can't beef too much.
Save your pity for this guy, TyWebb (about halfway down), who was 14/14 heading into the final game and had the Raiders. That reversal of fortunate at the end of the game probably cost Ty somewhere between $10K-$20K. Thank God he went to sleep -- he might have pulled an Elvis on his television.
Anyhow, still a pretty decent start to the season, as the numbers below reflect:
2009 Week One Hoser Picks
Straight Up: 15-1 Against The Spread: 10-6 Lock of the Week: 0-1 Trifecta: 0-1 Money: $-60
I'll also be adding my actual totals spent for the season in the future.
2009 Week One Money Spent: $20 2009 Week One Money Made: $50 2009 Total: $30
Picks will up Thursday morning for Week Two.
posted by wfrazerjr at 04:49 PM on September 15, 2009
I changed the link to your blog while I fix problems with SportsFilter's column code. I'll post on the Locker Room when it's fixed.
You're in midseason form, Frazer. That Drew Stafford line is a classic.
posted by rcade at 10:55 PM on September 11, 2009