August 14, 2009

Adrian Beltre Takes One-Hopper to the Testicle: Seattle Mariners infielder Adrian Beltre has been put on the 15-day disabled list after taking a "hard one-hopper" to the groin. Beltre, who does not wear an athletic cup because he finds them uncomfortable, suffered a severely bruised testicle and could need season-ending surgery because of testicular bleeding. "There is some stupidity to it," Beltre said in spring training 2008 of his decision to let it all hang out since his days in Class A ball.

posted by rcade to baseball at 11:58 AM - 9 comments

He finds the cup uncomfortable? Imagine how uncomfortable he's feeling now.

posted by dbt302 at 12:28 PM on August 14, 2009

If one were to make engage in (not exactly baseless, but still probably somewhat irresponsible) conjecture that the one of these things that is not like the others (in 2004, to be exact -- run your eyes down the year-by-year OPS+, HR, and/or SLG numbers and see if anything sticks out) was the result of certain substances, we could perhaps further conjecture that maybe a cup is less necessary for Mr. Beltre because he is playing small ball. Based, of course, on application of the theorem that cup necessity is directly proportional to nut size.

posted by holden at 01:13 PM on August 14, 2009

LOL!

Small or not, it'd still bloody hurt! My eldest kid, when he was a baby, pulled up from the floor using mine... Staggeringly painful.

Ah well, whoever hit the ball to Beltre, I'm sure he'll have no hard feelings... *cough*

posted by Drood at 02:45 PM on August 14, 2009

These players make enough money that they can hire personal chefs and trainers, etc., and they can't find someone to make them a custom fit cup that feels like you're not even wearing it? Out of lightweight breathable space age fibers?

I wish I knew a good looking Swedish woman with degrees in polymer chemistry and materials engineering. I'd start myself a multi-million dollar business.

"Sorry, Mr. Rodriguez is not available to the media this afternoon. He has an appointment for a custom fitting."

posted by beaverboard at 03:41 PM on August 14, 2009

Not wearing a cup in the infield is not too smart.

Does Beltre have anyone to "kiss it and make it all better"?

My favorite 'cup' story happened one evening in a Babe Ruth League game. I was working the bases and a foul ball eluded the catcher and smacked my partner flush in the cup. You could hear the impact all over the field. There was a moment of dead silence as we waited for him to keel over. Then, he raised his hands to signal dead ball, and in his best falsetto yelled, "Foul Ball." We couldn't resume the game for about 5 minutes because everyone was laughing too hard.

posted by Howard_T at 05:17 PM on August 14, 2009

Zero. Sympathy.

My wife used to fence. The whole body is a target. The whole body. The number of young men who didn't wear protection was amazing, though she was happy to introduce them to the error of their ways.

posted by rodgerd at 06:00 PM on August 14, 2009

Adding insult to injury: he was charged an error on the play.

Have to admit he's a tough bastard, though. Playing 5 more innings after that? I don't think I could walk for 5 innings after that.

posted by deflated at 06:52 PM on August 14, 2009

Was Hans Moleman there to film it?

posted by NoMich at 07:17 PM on August 14, 2009

I also umpired, on in Little League. Was behind the plate, so I crouch down behind the catcher with my left arm in front. Foul ball off that arm. Didn't go five-hole, but, damn, my arm hurt for a few days.

posted by jjzucal at 07:17 PM on August 14, 2009

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