December 05, 2006

Fantasy Football update: Everyone else is making updates, why not us?

Final week before the playoffs start and not much is decided except nearly everyone still has a shot at it.

posted by YukonGold to fantasy at 05:56 PM - 34 comments

...and here's the part where you talk amongst yourselves on the topic because my conversion of the table from Yahoo keeps getting porked. You know what they say about the road and the good intentions.

posted by YukonGold at 06:14 PM on December 05, 2006

I would have clinched had I beat Elway's Toupee. Now I have to fight it out with TBH.

posted by Ying Yang Mafia at 07:02 PM on December 05, 2006

Some random, bitter comment about my teams chances being killed by the ridiculous amount of QB hoarding in this league.

posted by geekyguy at 07:08 PM on December 05, 2006

I got lucky with Larry Johnson -- the guy has helped me beat a lot of teams I shouldn't have. But Tomlinson, man, that guy is a beast. If he keeps putting up 24-30 points a week, I don't see how any of us can keep up (I'm hoping SD begins to rest him and showcase Michael Turner in our playoffs.) By the way, who the hell is Badonkadonkers here in SpoFi? She, too, is a beast (just click the profile.)

posted by forrestv at 08:47 PM on December 05, 2006

The only thing I have a shot at is not finishing in last place. The good thing is that it doesn't look like anyone has abandoned their team. It's been a pleasure having you guys and gals pop my fantasy cherry. Rodent Rebellion will be back next year, and a little wiser too.

posted by MrFrisby at 09:44 PM on December 05, 2006

By the way, who the hell is Badonkadonkers here in SpoFi? Rainbaby. LT is a beast. Hope for the best, should he sit it will make a difference but SD probably needs to lock up home field to see that be of any real significance.

posted by YukonGold at 10:10 PM on December 05, 2006

i think Dallas can make it into the playoffs but if they dont im gonna be pissed off. Go Titans,i cant believe they beat indianapois. again!

posted by blackmag1c5 at 07:37 AM on December 06, 2006

There are 3 teams that I can't figure out who they are on SpoFi: vagabonds, assclowns, and Illadelphonics.

posted by MrFrisby at 08:48 AM on December 06, 2006

Illadelphonics = Bishop or SummersEve? They're both from Philly.

posted by yerfatma at 09:13 AM on December 06, 2006

I'm the Illadelphonics.

posted by mbd1 at 09:37 AM on December 06, 2006

Man the P. Rivers trade really screwed me. Harrington kept playing well and of course my thinner RB group gets injured. That's 2 spofi leagues in a row that I've really killed myself with a trade.

posted by tron7 at 09:48 AM on December 06, 2006

The assclowns are thatweirdguy I think. Oh yeah Kendall, I recall you were previously gloating about the trade we made at the start of the year. I'm thinking its worked out better for me than you actually.

posted by Ying Yang Mafia at 10:40 AM on December 06, 2006

vagabonds is catfish

posted by YukonGold at 12:07 PM on December 06, 2006

An update is just no good without a table. Plus, I have been wanting to learn how to do a table in HTML. So here it is:

Team Spofite Record Points Moves
1. Badonkadonkers Rainbaby 12-1-0 922.43 18
2. BubbaGrumpShrimp forrestv 10-3-0 745.9 32
3. Elway's Toupee fenriq 8-5-0 827.25 8
4. Baseball Prospectus Ying Yang Mafia 8-5-0 801.18 25
5. Yukon YukonGold 8-5-0 786.82 9
6. The Chuck Norrises The_Black_Hand 8-5-0 771.28 30
7. vagabonds catfish 8-5-0 719.06 14
8. Daddy Needs Shoes daddisamm 8-5-0 705.63 2
9. Flivvers elovrich 8-5-0 690.58 49
10. Soul on a Roll bperk 7-6-0 727.44 19
11. assclowns thatweirdguy2 7-6-0 722.66 21
12. SlobberKnockers wingnut4life 7-6-0 708.46 8
13. Illadelphonics mbd1 6-7-0 742.91 6
14. The Real Ron Mexico tron7 5-8-0 718.79 20
15. Shitferbrains willthrill72 5-8-0 626.22 14
16. Rodent Rebellion MrFrisby 4-9-0 666.07 15
17. Grand Theft Neocon danostuporstar 3-10-0 626.67 21
18. CTGIANTZ! Kendall 3-10-0 622.9 21
19. Chongqing Express geekyguy 3-10-0 586.38 4
20. ATL Crackhouse Gang trox 2-11-0 652.66 4

posted by MrFrisby at 01:17 PM on December 06, 2006

Well done, Mr. Frisby. I mean with the table, not with the Rodents.

posted by bperk at 01:43 PM on December 06, 2006

I am rooting against all of the 8-5 teams to hold on to my slim, very slim playoff chance.

posted by bperk at 01:45 PM on December 06, 2006

Matchup Watch, Part 1 Flivvers (8-5, 9th) vs Illadelphonics (6-7, 13th) Flivvers comes in still probably shaking out the cobwebs from the Reggie Bush Coming-Out Party last week. Illadelphonics is shattered from losing McNabb and Ronnie Brown. Classic example of how fantasy football can really make your weekend or kick you in the jewels. Yukon's take: Flivvers should be dancing next week too. I don't know anyone who's not on the Bruce Grandowski bandwagon but it probably won't be enough.

posted by YukonGold at 06:29 PM on December 06, 2006

Matchup Watch, Part 2 SlobberKnockers (7-6, 12th) vs Soul On A Roll (7-6, 10th) You gotta win to have a chance. SlobberKnockers is on a roll winning 4 of 5 scoring 50 for 7 straight. Soul On A Roll has been a little more up and down but has those breakout possibilities. As far as tiebreakers bperk is in better shape with a current point total better than (3) 8-5 teams. Yukon's take: Tough call, but I'm gonna go with SlobberKnockers. Brees is hot, Dillon will be in a slugfest. Garcia did some nice things last week, but it's hard to get behind him again (that totally came out wrong). Still points will be necessary either way to secure that tiebreaker.

posted by YukonGold at 06:40 PM on December 06, 2006

Matchup Watch, Part 3 BaseballProspectus (8-5, 4th) vs The Chuck Norrises (8-5, 6th) They're both in with the point totals they already have unless, of course, Chuck really loses it and benches his entire team. In lieu of any analysis, here are three items from the random Chuck Norris Quote generator. He who lives by the sword, dies by the sword. He who lives by Chuck Norris, dies by the roundhouse kick. Nobody doesn't like Sara Lee. Except Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris's body temperature is 98.6 degrees... Celsius. Yukon's take: Tiki Barber and Brian Westbrook together can't be discounted. Ever. BaseballProspectus wins and get the higher seed (although I's like to know if he realized this was football season when he signed up)

posted by YukonGold at 06:53 PM on December 06, 2006

Matchup Watch, Part 4 BubbaGumpShrimp (10-3, 2nd) vs Yukon (8-5, 5th) I feel comfortable with my point total so I'll echo the idea from the previous matchup where I get in regardless. Plus, I'm totally distracted by wondering who would win in a street fight...Chuck Norris vs Forrest Gump and Bubba Blue? 2 on 1 match. Obviously, Chuck kills men for far less than being insanely annoying but Bubba is the size of an NFL lineman and Forrest is your classic nerdy fighter. He's been picked on all his life and if you push too hard he'll start whirling and kicking, couple that with his speed and Chuck is gonna have to get those limbs blocking fast. While dealing with Forrest's barrage, Bubba can tackle him and swing momentum. Really it's an amazing battle. Yukon's take: Of course I'm picking myself. LJ is going up against Baltimore so that's a minus matchup already.

posted by YukonGold at 07:02 PM on December 06, 2006

Matchup Watch, Part 5 Elway's Toupee (8-5, 3rd) vs Rodent Rebellion (4-9, 16th) Vagabonds (8-5, 7th) vs ATL Crackhouse Gang (2-11, 20th) Daddy Needs Shoes (8-5, 8th) vs Chongquing Express (3-10, 19th) "Hell to the No! Take your week ass team and just walk away." Nothing sucks more than getting bounced from the playoffs by losing to the guy in last place in the last week. All of these games have that feel. Yukon's take: Elway has the second best point total, so he's in. Vagabonds have a favorable matchup, he's got a chance. Daddy, I hate to do it to ya but someone is gonna lose here...you have the best chance. That's just how this awful game usually ends. Here's my final predictions for the playoffs. 1. Badonkadonkers 2. BubbaGrumpShrimp 3. Elway's Toupee 4. Baseball Prospectus 5. Yukon 6. vagabonds 7. Flivvers 8. The Chuck Norrises Soul On A Roll and Assclowns are right there though. Should vagabonds lose, whoever has the better week will get in last. ps. I have no idea what I'm talking about. The accuracy of these ideas have no defense.

posted by YukonGold at 07:27 PM on December 06, 2006

I'm already bailing on those predictions. Chingquing has Kyle Orton active. Do we get points for people doing shots of Jack Daniels straight from the bottle? If so, I'll stand by what I said...otherwise Daddy should end up 9-6. No idea what that means, it must have a big impact though.

posted by YukonGold at 07:32 PM on December 06, 2006

Thanks bperk, I think. Great work Yukon, we've been missing this kind of thing all season. Baseball Prospectus has had the ol' quarterback controversey for awhile. Who should he play, Roethlisberger or Pennington? Rodent Rebellion will do it's best to upset Elway's Toupee to help you guys out. According to the projected stats, I have a chance, but I learned a long time ago that I can't trust those.

posted by MrFrisby at 07:43 PM on December 06, 2006

Yukon is on a roll, and good job by Flivvers with the 49 moves out of a junky draft to get back in contention.

posted by rainbaby at 07:38 AM on December 07, 2006

I should have known my team name would be a self-fulfilling prophecy.

posted by willthrill72 at 09:19 AM on December 07, 2006

How about Daddy Needs Shoes who spent his first pick on a defense, still ended up with Deuce and Marion Barber and has a great chance for the playoffs? Good job, Yukon.

posted by bperk at 10:04 AM on December 07, 2006

not much is decided except nearly everyone still has a shot at it. Ha! I was out when Trent Green went out in week 1.

posted by danostuporstar at 12:03 PM on December 07, 2006

My team is incapeable of scoring touchdowns. As a result, it looks like I have a nice date with rainbaby next week.

posted by Ying Yang Mafia at 10:43 AM on December 11, 2006

It looks like Elway's Toupee has nothing to worry about thanks to (in no particular order): My QB, Tom Brady (-.44 pts) My inability to find a RB in the FA market that would get points this week. My poor decision on which W/R to play (11.2 pts sitting on the bench). I love this game.

posted by MrFrisby at 11:00 AM on December 11, 2006

My team had a perfectly good day, but Brees is a sonofabitch.

posted by bperk at 11:29 AM on December 11, 2006

Here's my final predictions for the playoffs. How'd I do with the seeds? 1. Badonkadonkers - correct 2. BubbaGrumpShrimp - correct 3. Elway's Toupee - correct 4. Baseball Prospectus - incorrect seed (8) 5. Yukon - correct 6. vagabonds - correct 7. Flivvers - correct 8. The Chuck Norrises - incorrect seed (4) Not bad, I got the outcome of the Norrises/BP game wrong but everything else fell in place. If I have some time tonight I'll preview next week too.

posted by YukonGold at 07:03 AM on December 12, 2006

Thank you Sammy Morris! Behold the power of J.P. Losman! Baaaahahahahahahaha! Allow me some joy now, I'll be bowing out next week.

posted by The_Black_Hand at 08:04 AM on December 12, 2006

Sammy Morris can go burn in hell right alongside Brandon Jacobs and Jay Cutler. I'm taking solace in the fact that I've beat rainbaby once. Also, if LT goes down with a mysterious injury saturday, it WAS NOT me.

posted by Ying Yang Mafia at 05:15 PM on December 12, 2006

If a large white man strikes him on the knee with a metal baton, I think we know who's responsible.

posted by forrestv at 08:58 PM on December 14, 2006

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