January 04, 2004

Round one of the First (?) Annual SpoFi NFL Playoff Picks is OVAH.
How'd you do? [more inside, of course}

posted by forksclovetofu to navel gazing at 10:20 PM - 136 comments

Okay, so here's what the final results looked like for Round One: Three players ran the table on us and got all four picks: Jasonspaceman - Trox - Danostuporstar Ten players say "three outta four ain't bad" (correct picks noted in parenthesis): 86 (Tenn, Carolina, G. Bay) - Smithers (Indy, Carolina, G. Bay) - Wfrazerjr (Indy, Carolina, Green Bay) Ufez Jones (Tenn, Indy, G. Bay) - Bryant (Indy, Carolina, G. Bay) - NoMich (Tenn, Indy, G. Bay) Forksclovetofu (Tenn, Indy, G. Bay) - JeffMShaw (Tenn, Indy, Carolina) Msacheson (Indy, Carolina, G. Bay) - Hal Incandenza (Tenn, Indy, Carolina) Six players hit 50%: Billsaysthis (Tenn, G.Bay) - Vito90 (Tenn, Indy) - Jerseygirl (Tennessee, Carolina) BCB2K2 (Carolina, G. Bay) - Rocketman (Indy, G. Bay) - Pivo (Indy, G. Bay) Three players only managed to pick one correct name out of the ol' hat: Grum@work(Indy) - Corpse (Carolina) -
Taupe [didn't forget about you buddy, though you might have wished I had...] (G. Bay) And one sad, godforsaken bastard somehow beat the odds and missed the whole target: Goddam So out of twenty three entries, how well did we do as a whole? Spofi calls: Tenn over Baltimore: 12-11 Correct! Indy over Denver: 16-7 Correct! Carolina over Dallas: 13-10 Correct! Green Bay over Seattle: 16-7 Correct! Whattayaknow? We're experts! Still as Harvey Keitel famously noted in Pulp Fiction, "Let's not go sucking each other's dicks just yet." All of our collective calls were for the home team, the top seed and the prohibitive statistical leaders. We bet safe and the NFL rewarded us by playing safe... well, except for that Green Bay squeaker (sorry, vito). Funny thing is, only three of us believed that the stats didn't lie... and they've benefitted. But there's still seven games left. Plenty of shakeups to come. As previously noted, I'd like each game to stand for only one point. Come Superbowl time we can bet for three points: Winner, Over/Under the spread(Vegas Odds) and MVP. So with that in mind, there's seven games and nine more points to be won. Everybody is still in it to win it! Here's next weeks bracket: Tennessee and New England @ New England Indianapolis and Kansas City @ Kansas City Carolina and St. Louis @ St. Louis Green Bay and Philadelphia @ Philadelphia You've got till Saturday kickoff. Let us know some reasoning behind your picks while you're at it. And since jerseygirl refuses to play along and donate undergarments to the winner, I'm going to offer MY frilly things as a prize. To the player with the fewest correct picks. And they'll be soiled. And I've been eating Mexican. Get going goddam. And may god have mercy on your soul.

posted by forksclovetofu at 10:23 PM on January 04, 2004

addendum: All of our collective calls were for the home team, the top seed and the prohibitive statistical leaders. Alright, so Tennessee didn't play at home. Still.

posted by forksclovetofu at 10:45 PM on January 04, 2004

I have no fear. New England is gonna beat Tennessee by a country mile. Hey, look, it's an injured QB and an injured RB to beat on. Sorry, guys. Kansas City is gonna take out Indianapolis. Too much chest-beating after the blowout. Blowouts aren't good for you in playoff football. KC knows how to score. Dante Hall is due -- and we know it's possible to run back kicks on Indianapolis. St. Louis is going to beat Carolina. Carolina ain't all that good. Neither is St. Louis, but they're better than Carolina. Philadelphia is going to beat Green Bay. Green Bay is going to rely too hard on the miracle, is what's gonna happen there. Problem is, Phillie actually has a defense...

posted by Bryant at 10:47 PM on January 04, 2004

hey fork, how did you know i was a bastard child? pats, indy, carolina, philly

posted by goddam at 10:56 PM on January 04, 2004

I'll go with Pats, KC, Carolina and Philly.

posted by jerseygirl at 10:57 PM on January 04, 2004

Tennessee doesn't stand a chance against New England. Indy continues their march to wherever the hell the Superbowl is being played this year. Carolina finally learned how to win in a nonugly fashion and that will carry over to this weekend. Stick a fork in Green Bay 'cause Philly will squeak by 'em.

posted by NoMich at 11:45 PM on January 04, 2004

Oh yeah, this week's picks are brought to you by huffing ungodly amounts of tile grout. wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

posted by NoMich at 11:48 PM on January 04, 2004

New England over Tennessee, Indianapolis over Kansas City, Philadelphia over Green Bay, St. Louis over Carolina. Props to John Fox for getting the Panthers this far but (ignoring the really strange season ending loss to Detroit) the Rams have really had game the last couple of months. Farve and the Packers run into a rested, tested Eagles with a lot to prove but if there's any one of these picks I'm wavering on, it's this one. Kansas City is backing, or rather stumbling, into the playoffs with a 3-4 record to end the season and Priest Holmes only plays offense. Brady will be Super Bowl MVP again.

posted by billsaysthis at 12:12 AM on January 05, 2004

My picks: New England over Tennessee: Should be a no-brainer. And this is the only point in this round I really, really care about. :) Indy over Kansas City: Kansas City was an overachieving 9-7 team; they're gonna get punted, and quickly. Manning's not putting up 5 TDs again, but he won't have to against a meandering Chiefs team Note: This is the hincandenza "Sure pick" of the playoffs. I will be stunned by nothing so much as KC winning, except maybe NE losing. And (okay, this will surely jinx it and make me eat my words) I have to warn all of you who picked KC- you just wasted a perfectly good point. St Louis over Carolina: No comment necessary; see Philly over Green Bay. Philly over Green Bay: The Eagles are damn good, the Packers just edged into the playoffs and just edged over a Seattle team that shouldn't have been that challenging. As was said about Denver and Dallas, and I think will hold true for the Panthers and to an extent the Chiefs, a team like the Packers seems good until you realize how thoroughly outclassed they are by the big dogs of the NFL this year- those 12 & 14 win teams are worlds ahead of these 10-6 contenders.

posted by hincandenza at 12:29 AM on January 05, 2004

Okay, I'm gonna have to pull a Costanza here, and do the exact opposite of what my instincts tell me: Tennessee Kansas City Carolina Philadelphia Man, if this is right, what a BIZARRE final 4 that would be...

posted by grum@work at 12:41 AM on January 05, 2004

For those keeping track so far:

SpofiteTEN @ NEIND @ KCCAR @ StLGB @ PHI
1.) Bryant (3pt)NEKCStLPhi
2.) Goddam (0pt)NEINDCarPhi
3.) Jerseygirl (2pt)NEKCCarPhi
4.) NoMich (3pt)NEINDCarPhi
5.) Billsaysthis (2pt)NEINDStlPhi
6.) hincandenza (3pt)NEINDStlPhi
7.) grum@work (1pt)TENKCCARPhi
TotalsNE 6 , TEN 1IND 4 , KC 3StL 3, CAR 4PHI 7 , GB 0
Looks like most of us are sticking with the safe picks again, even though it should be tighter games in the second round. NE and Philly seem to be the strong picks, while the field is torn between Indy staying this good or KC coming to fight, and Carolina and the Rams butting heads. As more make picks, I may make this pretty, pretty table again. :) Lemme know if I missed anyone... Also: Will it be considered fair to change one's picks before a pre-determined time, say by EOD Friday? People might have second thoughts over the week- such as grum going against the good instinct to pick NE!- and want to adjust their final set of picks on Friday.

posted by hincandenza at 12:59 AM on January 05, 2004

hal: I have no issue with up to the minute changes and can take them into account when tallying. Once kickoff comes, you're locked in, tho. Nice table. /up all night working on my new blog(sorry to self link, but I _WAS_ up all night and could use some feedback...)

posted by forksclovetofu at 03:56 AM on January 05, 2004

hal: nice table! fct: you need comments. :)

posted by jerseygirl at 06:22 AM on January 05, 2004

forksclovetofu: Don't bother with comments. If it's a personal diary-type blog, it doesn't need them. If you have them, you leave yourself open to a bot filling them with spam. And whatever you do, if you ever do put an email address on the site, be sure to disguise it some how (like "forksclovetofu 'rhymes with splat' sportsfilter 'rhymes with hot' com"). Those email-culling bots will make your life miserable.

posted by grum@work at 06:55 AM on January 05, 2004

My picks and highly illogical reasoning. Tennessee and New England @ New England Tennessee. I don't like New England. Indianapolis and Kansas City @ Kansas City Indy. Indy's D is better. Carolina and St. Louis @ St. Louis Carolina, because they are my team and I'm not going to pick against them, ever. Green Bay and Philadelphia @ Philadelphia Philly. Farve is due for a 4 INT game.

posted by corpse at 08:29 AM on January 05, 2004

Please not that I rarely pick how I think will win, but who I want to win.

posted by corpse at 08:32 AM on January 05, 2004

OK, here goes: New England over Tennessee (Eddie George was good over the weekend, so he'll be tired this weekend). Indianapolis over KC (What was that about Peyton and big games again?) St. Louis over Carolina (If this were outside, I may have picked it differently) Philadelphia over Green Bay (The pack have used up their miracles).

posted by trox at 08:56 AM on January 05, 2004

Tennessee ove N.E. KC over Indy St. Louis over Carolina Philly Cheese Steak over Cheese Heads

posted by vito90 at 09:34 AM on January 05, 2004

Titans over the Pats. Colts over KC Rams over Carolina (if someone is going to beat the Rams at home, it sure as hell won't be the Panteras) Philthy over Farve, Inc.

posted by Ufez Jones at 09:41 AM on January 05, 2004

And Pike Place Brewery over St. Louis Pilsner *SOB*

posted by vito90 at 09:47 AM on January 05, 2004

Heh, during the game I was going to feel really if I won, vito, since the Hawks played so surprisingly well. Up until Hasselback had to open his mouth during the O/T coinflip. Then it was a-okay. Great game though. That said, it's been two and a half years since I went to Pike's, so I'm anticipating the enjoyment of a nice sixer. I don't know what's seasonal right now, but I'd prefer either the Weisse or the Bootleg Brown. If they're not there, I'll leave it up to you, just nothing too sweet or too stout. Cheers!

posted by Ufez Jones at 10:08 AM on January 05, 2004

You got it Ufez. Email me your mailing address, huh?

posted by vito90 at 10:09 AM on January 05, 2004

i don't know why, but i like that people aren't picking the Patriots overwhelmingly.

posted by jerseygirl at 10:36 AM on January 05, 2004

forksclovetofu: Don't bother with comments. If it's a personal diary-type blog, it doesn't need them. If you have them, you leave yourself open to a bot filling them with spam. And whatever you do, if you ever do put an email address on the site, be sure to disguise it some how (like "forksclovetofu 'rhymes with splat' sportsfilter 'rhymes with hot' com"). Those email-culling bots will make your life miserable. can't you just do a "no-index" in the meta tags?

posted by jerseygirl at 10:40 AM on January 05, 2004

can't you just do a "no-index" in the meta tags? You used to be able to, but it's all ball bearings nowadays, so it doesn't work quite so well.

posted by vito90 at 10:51 AM on January 05, 2004

New England over Tennessee. Steve McNair might play better while leaving a trail of body parts behind him, but Eddie George doesn't. And you need a balanced attack to beat the Pats.

Indianapolis over Kansas City. These teams are almost mirror images of each other -- powerful offenses, questionable defenses -- but Indy's on a roll and KC's been in a tailspin.

Philadelphia over Green Bay. Because the media will probably find a way to win for donovan McNabb. [/sarcasm]

And, the upset special: Carolina over St. Louis. For three reasons: 1. There's a big surprise almost every week in the NFL; 2. There's always a chance that Criminally Insane Mike Martz will show up, forget Marshall Faulk is on his team, and start calling plays out of Rube Goldberg's playbook; and 3. St. Louis really doesn't match up well with Carolina.

The Rams have had a hard time stopping the run, especially since the wretched Jamie Duncan has taken over at MLB, and Stephen Davis will get the ball 30+ times. If the Panthers can play ball-control, they can win this game. I'd feel better if they had better corners, but no guts, no glory.

posted by jeffmshaw at 11:06 AM on January 05, 2004

I'm gonna repost this in here, as the other thread wuz killed by this one. In the Ravens/Titans game Saturday, with about 35 seconds to go in the first half, Ray Lewis made a nice play to hold Tennessee on third down. Then, instead of immediately calling the time out, Lewis chose to jump up and act like he'd just nailed Paris Hilton, or perhaps beaten a murder rap. Meanwhile, around 6-7 seconds ran off the clock. Why didn't anyone on the broadcast point out on the ensuing Baltimore possession that Lewis had cost the offense a play? Had Ray called the timeout immediately, and the Ravens then had Anthony Wright run in circles for 15 seconds, they still would have had seven seconds left instead of one, giving them time to attempt a 20-yard out. Maybe it's nitpicky. but when a guy spends as much time as Lewis does talking about his leadership and his intelligence, it's fair to point out his stupidity and selfishness also.

posted by wfrazerjr at 11:13 AM on January 05, 2004

Had Ray called the timeout immediately I'm not sure of the rules in the NFL, but is there a designated "captain" who has to call the timeouts? Or can any person (coach, player on the field) make that call? I know in hockey only the captain is really allowed to discuss things with the referee, and I'm wondering if that is the case here. If it is, then Lewis is a moron. If not, and anyone could call a timeout, then I guess then entire Ravens team would be at fault, not just Lewis.

posted by grum@work at 11:18 AM on January 05, 2004

Now, as for my picks: NEW ENGLAND 28, TENNESSEE 17 — The game won't even be this close. I expect the Pats to jump out to a big lead and the Flaming Thumbtacks to come up with a couple touchdowns late. God love ya, Teddy Brewski! INDIANAPOLIS 38, KANSAS CITY 30 — Somewhere on Monday, Dick Vermeil will be sobbing. I have been shown the light. Someone gave Peyton a sac, and I think the Colt offense is running a bit hotter than K.C.'s right now. Plus, Edgerrin didn't do jackcrap in the Bronco beatdown, but he'll get 100+ and 2 TDs against the Chiefs. ST. LOUIS 27, CAROLINA 20 — The intelligent Mike Martz will show up and give the ball to Marshall Faulk 20-25 times, thus setting up the passing game. Kudos to John Fox, who at least got a mediocre team this far. PHILADELPHIA 22, GREEN BAY 10 — Pure D asswhuppin'. The Packers are about to run out of magic, and the Eagles are still pissed off about sucking during the first part of the season.

posted by wfrazerjr at 11:20 AM on January 05, 2004

Maybe it's nitpicky, but when a guy spends as much time as Lewis does talking about his leadership and his intelligence, it's fair to point out his stupidity and selfishness also. I have nothing to add to this brilliant, insightful commentary.

posted by vito90 at 11:22 AM on January 05, 2004

Grum, I believe anyone can call a timeout, but 95% of the time, it falls to the captain because coaches and defensive coordinators don't want some dumbassed defensive back signaling for a T.O. anytime he feels like it. Accordingly, the refs will look at the defensive captain because it's what they expect. I think what happened was everyone on the Ravens expected Lewis to call the time out, then stood there for a bit while he danced around like a jackass, then someone said, "Holy shit, time out! Time out!" Lewis put himself in front of the team, and it helped cost them a scoring opportunity.

posted by wfrazerjr at 11:26 AM on January 05, 2004

wfrazer, I agree with you 100% on that play. I'll go on to say that this type of garbage is far too common in NFL games. And not just with the celebrating thing either. That's particularly bad, but professional athletes not having a clue if and when they should call time outs is ridiculous. Too often I see idiots looking to the sideline when it's painfully obvious what they need to do. Everyone can call and time out and everyone needs to know exactly when they should call a time out. If I, a mortal viewer watching from home can know that Team X needs to call time out after a stop, you'd think one in eleven on the field would have the brain power to mention it in the huddle.

posted by 86 at 12:14 PM on January 05, 2004

I'm ALSO gonna repost this in here, as the other thread wuz killed by this one. wfrazerjr: agreed. I respect Lewis' game (what, 16 or 17 tackles?), but I DON'T like him personally and his whole "I am the heart and soul of football/best player who ever lived/unstoppable/team leader/are-my-dogs-in-the-house" schtick is REEEEEEEEAL old. Seeing him do sheepish media interviews afterward with the towel over the head and his "who knew?" attitude was fun for me and the entire state of Tennessee. We kept the Lewis bros. at bay and it won us the game. Watching Eddie finally get back a little bit of dignity at Ray's expense was deeply gratifying. How about that face plant? WOOT! oh and look! comments! /still learning

posted by forksclovetofu at 12:39 PM on January 05, 2004

FCT, regarding your blog: Set convert line breaks on! White space can be your friend. Glad to see you joining us, for sure.

posted by billsaysthis at 02:02 PM on January 05, 2004

Indy over KC and I'm starting to think that a McNabb/Payton QB matchup in the Superbowl could make for one of the highest scoring, most exciting games ever. Baby boy is red freaking hot and Edge is about to blow up. St. Louis over Carolina. If St. Louis drops out now it may be time for an overhaul. Lotsa guys playing for their jobs over there. I still don't buy the Panthers. Philly over Green Bay. I agree with everyone else on this: magic only takes you so far. Plus, Donovan is stoked. Tennessee over New England. Truth is, I don't even believe this myself and I'm stunned that ANYONE else is picking them. But they're my team and I'm a fan and even though there's no logical reason to think they have a chance in hell: YOU GOTTA BELIEVE on preview: just you and me ufez! Let's go get 'em!

posted by forksclovetofu at 10:02 PM on January 05, 2004

4/4, I'm feeling it! in reality though, I must admit that I'm just waiting for football to be over so I can get games that the Mavs aren't playing on my antenna, but shhhh! we can still sweep it!

posted by Ufez Jones at 10:09 PM on January 05, 2004

Updated. Let me know if I've missed anyone, or incorrectly noted your scores or this week's picks. :)

SpofiteScoreTEN @ NEIND @ KCCAR @ STLGB @ PHI
01.) Bryant3 pointsNEKCSTLPHI
02.) Goddam0 pointsNEINDCARPHI
03.) Jerseygirl2 pointsNEKCCARPHI
04.) NoMich3 pointsNEINDCARPHI
05.) Billsaysthis2 pointsNEINDSTLPHI
06.) hincandenza3 pointsNEINDSTLPHI
07.) grum@work1 pointTENKCCARPHI
08.) Corpse1 pointTENINDCARPHI
09.) trox4 pointsNEINDSTLPHI
10.) vito902 pointsTENKCSTLPHI
11.) Ufez Jones3 pointsTENINDSTLPHI
12.) jeffmshaw3 pointsNEINDCARPHI
13.) wfrazerjr3 pointsNEINDSTLPHI
14.) forksclovetofu3 pointsTENINDSTLPHI
Totals33 of 56, 59%NE 9 , TEN 5IND 10 , KC 4STL 8, CAR 6PHI 14 , GB 0
Wow- Philadelphia remains a unanimous pick over GB, even while a third of us aren't picking NE (f-c-t has an excuse, but what about the rest of you? Then again, I'm with JG- it's comforting my Pats aren't the "fate tempting" overwhelming favorites). Indy's becoming the heavy favorite- a 41 to 3 stomping will do that, I guess- while the Panthers/Rams game remains a close call, according to Spofiteans. Tidbits so far:
  1. Outside of the GB/Philly game, all 8 possible combinations of the other three games have been picked by someone. It's therefore a guarantee that at least one person will go 3-3 in those games, and one person will go 0-3.
  2. This also means that if Philly wins, no one can go scoreless this weekend, while if Philly loses, no one gets a sweep. This game is essentially meaningless, unless someone out there picks GB.
  3. The most favored combination so far, with 4 of 14 picks, is the NE-IND-STL-PHI combo.
  4. The next most popular, with 3 picks, is NE-IND-CAR-PHI (and the only difference is that contested Car-StL game)
  5. 5 of us so far have picked unique combos that no one else has chosen: bryant, jerseygirl, grum@work, corpse, vito90.

posted by hincandenza at 11:33 PM on January 05, 2004

Hal, you're frightening me. In a good way, but still.

posted by forksclovetofu at 01:20 AM on January 06, 2004

I am King of the Tables!!! Mwuhahaha! Yeah, guess who's a nerd/geek working at Microsoft. Go on, guess! :)

posted by hincandenza at 01:54 AM on January 06, 2004

posted by jerseygirl at 05:55 AM on January 06, 2004

I'm being patient. I'm not making my picks until Thursday/Friday.

posted by jasonspaceman at 06:20 AM on January 06, 2004

likewise with the spaceman. but i am leaning towards the pack. brian westbrook is out and i just got a feeling the eagles will start the post-season the way the started the regular ... on a suck-a-thon. besides farve is still playing for dear dead daddy and ahman green best player on either team.

posted by danostuporstar at 06:53 AM on January 06, 2004

"brian westbrook is out" That's what made me want to think these picks out. I am positive () on two games, but there's two others where I think the win could easily go to either team.

posted by jasonspaceman at 08:16 AM on January 06, 2004

I am also waiting until Thursday or Friday. And I'll also be taking Green Bay (maybe).

posted by 86 at 08:17 AM on January 06, 2004

Pats, Indy, St. Louis, Green Bay

posted by smithers at 09:16 AM on January 06, 2004

Good guess, JG- did my bling-bling give me away? :P Getting smarter: I'm posting the table at my user profile, where I can update it regularly without repeatedly reposting in a specific thread.

posted by hincandenza at 10:09 AM on January 06, 2004

I'm totally going to pick Green Bay. No hesitation, no maybes. Green Bay's gonna get up in that sheeatt and screw with some McNabb. Ahman Green is going to run for 175 yards and two touchdowns. But I'll post my official picks later in the week, when I've "researched" the other games more thoroughly. I need to find my favorite tea leaves and that one Tarot deck...

posted by rocketman at 12:33 PM on January 06, 2004

I need to find my favorite tea leaves and that one Tarot deck... That's how I won the fantasy football league!

posted by jasonspaceman at 12:39 PM on January 06, 2004

1) I'm probably the best bet to go 0-3 this weekend (sorry jerseygirl) as my track record in sports betting is abysmal. 2) Hal, you really work at MS? Can you email me at bill at my username.com? Thx.

posted by billsaysthis at 01:32 PM on January 06, 2004

Bill, if you go 0-3 (or 0-4 if GB wins), you'd be in good company. While the betting is leaning heavily in a certain direction, anything can happen- Tennessee can beat NE, KC can win, as can the Panthers or the Packers. But its highly unlikely all of them will win. Yet more updates- added rows to reflect the average scores per team picked (i.e., what the average of all users who picked New England is vs. users who picked Tennessee, etc). Thank god for snow days- I'm having so much fun with my little tables!!! :)

posted by hincandenza at 04:25 PM on January 06, 2004

Hal, when did you invent a time machine? The page says your comment just above was posted at 4:25 pm pst but it's only 2:54 pm pst as I read it. That is so cool. I just knew you guys at MS had the special sauce.

posted by billsaysthis at 04:55 PM on January 06, 2004

My picks: Tennessee will beat New England. Steve McNair has an aura that Tom Brady doesn't. 20-17. Trust me on this. Peyton Manning. Tony Dungy. They are gods, and Indianapolis will absolutely destroy Kansas City. 30-10. Carolina will stuff St. Louis. Bulger will choke in his first playoff start, Mike Martz is not a good coach. Still a close game, 13-10. And, as I said above, Green Bay will surprise an over-confident Philadelphia, who can't stop the run. Ahman Green will run for 175 and 2 touchdowns. Brett Favre will light up the field like a pinball machine, 250 yards passing. McNabb will make a valiant effort, but in the end, 27-17.

posted by rocketman at 02:07 PM on January 07, 2004

Aura (and mystique and dynasties for that matter) are highly overrated. It's going to be 0 degrees here Saturday night. 0. You know how the Titans are prepping for it? Playing in their "cold" weather - 35 degrees.

posted by jerseygirl at 02:11 PM on January 07, 2004

Aura (and mystique and dynasties for that matter) are highly overrated. An obvious sign that you are a Boston Red Sox fan.

posted by grum@work at 02:49 PM on January 07, 2004

An obvious sign that you are a Boston Red Sox fan. and?

posted by jerseygirl at 02:54 PM on January 07, 2004

Just saying, that's all. Nothing wrong with it...

posted by grum@work at 04:15 PM on January 07, 2004

"Not that there's anything wrong with that."

posted by jerseygirl at 05:01 PM on January 07, 2004

jg, feel free to trash my pick after you're proven correct. Until then, heed Adjustment and The Hanging Man, which I have read in Tom Brady's Tarot. This would suggest throwing two interceptions and being sacked no less than thrice. Though I will acknowledge that the power of the Adjustment card, mixed with The Hanging Man, could be a sign of sacrifice for great success.

posted by rocketman at 08:20 PM on January 07, 2004

Well I just read McNair's tea leaves and it's all over!

posted by jerseygirl at 09:08 PM on January 07, 2004

Lord knows I'm in your corner rocketman, but the cards don't always work too well for you...

posted by forksclovetofu at 09:14 PM on January 07, 2004

i was kidding, by the way. unless the pats win, and then uh, i pity the fool who picks the titans! /lame mr. t impression.

posted by jerseygirl at 09:34 PM on January 07, 2004

jerseygirl: It's going to be 0 degrees here Saturday night. 0 Yeah, I'd say it's over. Patriots, in foxborough, red hot yet well rested, snowy and bitter cold, rabid fans... the Titans could win, but man- those are some mean freakin' odds. Oh, and I can't resist one more plug for the creamy, nougat-centered goodness of my user page for up-to-date picks, rankings, and even charts to determine all possible end rankings depending on games won/loss, or the average score of users picking each team. Eat your heart out, Baseball Prospectus!!! I need a girlfriend... :(

posted by hincandenza at 11:39 PM on January 07, 2004

dear hal: you are out of your fucking mind. signed the guy who isn't into goatce.x

posted by forksclovetofu at 12:00 AM on January 08, 2004

i was kidding, by the way. I know. I was kidding back. "Your future is all used up."

posted by rocketman at 09:35 AM on January 08, 2004

Patriots because I think they're good enough to overcome a weak running game. The Chefs ride their offensive line to victory over a very game Indy club. Carolina stuns the Rams with a first half to remember and hold on at the end. Green Bay because something is going on with this team right now. D-Nab keeps it close.

posted by 86 at 10:08 AM on January 08, 2004

the cold will be the deciding factor in the Pats downing the titans. (but, if the cameraman should happen to catch JG attending the game in her bikini, my pick officially flips the flop.) its why they hired dungy: Indy beats the chiefs with the better of bad defenses. the Rams are earn their moniker, too many weapons for even the panthers to stop the 'greatest show on turf'. too tough to call, but i'm going with the Pack over philly just so i won't still be tied with trox

posted by danostuporstar at 03:58 PM on January 08, 2004

officially posted: bikini jokes are getting really old now, fellas.

posted by jerseygirl at 04:17 PM on January 08, 2004

officially posted: bikini jokes are getting really old now, fellas. No way, we're still waiting for the one of goddamn in a bikini posing with her bow!

posted by billsaysthis at 04:40 PM on January 08, 2004

um, billy, i wouldn't be waiting for any bikini shots if i were you. unless, of course, you want to go blind.

posted by goddam at 04:56 PM on January 08, 2004

My picks: NE, Indy, St. Louey, Philly

posted by jasonspaceman at 05:30 PM on January 08, 2004

officially noted, jersey girl. my apologies. unless, of course, you want to go blind *must...resist...urge to reference...quonsar's...hairy palms.

posted by danostuporstar at 06:22 PM on January 08, 2004

goddam, my glasses are so thick there's little chance of doing any more harm. But you're assuming I want the picture for onanistic purposes and that is not (necessarily) correct.

posted by billsaysthis at 06:48 PM on January 08, 2004

msacheson's picks for the weekend: New England Indianapolis Carolina Green Bay p.s. Hal: Since you said on 1/5 that Philly was a unanimous pick, how many have picked GB? p.p.s. It's a girl, BTW. Lucy Rose Acheson, born Th. 12/18, and she's perfect. Mom (aacheson) is doing well also.

posted by msacheson at 06:50 PM on January 08, 2004

Wow! Congrats msacheson!

posted by jasonspaceman at 07:08 PM on January 08, 2004

Does Lucy have a SpoFi account yet?

posted by lilnemo at 07:32 PM on January 08, 2004

awesome! welcome lacheson, spofite number 998.

posted by danostuporstar at 07:33 PM on January 08, 2004

d'oh...missed it by that much.

posted by danostuporstar at 07:33 PM on January 08, 2004

aww congrats to momma and poppa acheson! welcome lucy rose! what a cute name.

posted by jerseygirl at 07:40 PM on January 08, 2004

Love the name! Congrats Achesons! Cheers to fertility!

posted by Ufez Jones at 08:18 PM on January 08, 2004

Personally, I think that we should reserve userid #1000 for lacheson as a baby shower gift. How many two-userid families have had child during the reign of SpoFi? And congrats to the Achesons!

posted by grum@work at 09:07 PM on January 08, 2004

congrats achesons!

posted by goddam at 09:30 PM on January 08, 2004

ya know what ... the burgundy and gold got King Freakin' Gibbs back! in honor, i gotta go NFC East and change my pick to the eagles. hell, let's make it the Titans too, cause i gots the warm fuzzies and they're my favorite team left. so, for the record, that's Eagles, Titans, Rams, Colts.

posted by danostuporstar at 09:34 PM on January 08, 2004

Babies! SpoFi needs more babies! And there's just the right age difference so that lucy and mini-wc can get married in 23 years. I'll be the sleazy faux-uncle passing out behind the bar.

posted by billsaysthis at 09:53 PM on January 08, 2004

And did I say congratulations and many more?!

posted by billsaysthis at 09:53 PM on January 08, 2004

msacheson: p.s. Hal: Since you said on 1/5 that Philly was a unanimous pick, how many have picked GB?

  • First, congrats.
  • Second, you have to ask?!?! (Now updated to the latest picks, natch- 20 of 23 first-round players. Please let me know here in this thread if I've incorrectly captured your picks, or your previous score)?
  • Third, 4 of 6 people. :)

posted by hincandenza at 03:24 AM on January 09, 2004

Thanks to all for your kind comments. I'd love to post a picture soon, but I'm not sure how without it being from a website (which I don't have). Besides, keeping with tradition, no pictures of SpoFi girls/women, no matter how much WC asks. (and keep your son away from my daughter) I have her on my left arm as i type this one-handed. Lucy doesn't have a SpoFi userid yet, and I don't want to snatch #1000 from a worthy poster. I probably will sign her up soon, though, so i can post comments from an infant's perspective on sports. Hal: your tables are awesome. I noticed one gaffe: 86 picked KC (not CAR) to beat IND.

posted by msacheson at 11:14 AM on January 09, 2004

Dude, I'm putting $20 on Carolina to win that Indy/KC game. Do you know what the odds are?!?

posted by wfrazerjr at 12:01 PM on January 09, 2004

mazel tov on the kiddy kid achybreaky. Probably the first time you've had to type one handed that you were able to involve the whole family, right? who's awol on this round? I'm seeing no taupe... who else? any newbies?

posted by forksclovetofu at 01:40 PM on January 09, 2004

forks for the love of god, for lucy's sake... Don't link her and this man...
ever.

posted by lilnemo at 01:54 PM on January 09, 2004

oh c'mon. you gotta love the mullet.

posted by forksclovetofu at 05:47 PM on January 09, 2004

I was going to wait out the other picks and seize upon one of the lesser-chosen permutations (as it's the only way my overall record could be competitive again), but then, that's what I did last week, and look how well that worked. New England, Kansas City, St. Louis, Philadelphia.

posted by taupe at 05:58 PM on January 09, 2004

Nice picks, taupe! Hey, Hal... you don't have the picks broken down by most popular permutation yet.

posted by Bryant at 06:45 PM on January 09, 2004

pivo and BCB2K2 are the hold outs for those of you scoring at home (and I know you are).

posted by forksclovetofu at 08:36 PM on January 09, 2004

Bryant: Ask and you shall receive! :D I believe the last picks can be in by first kickoff, at 1:30p EST on Saturday. I'll update one final time (and thanks msacheson for catching that error- it was a typo that didn't affect the scoring averages, etc), let me know if your picks are in error, and may the best Spofite win!

posted by hincandenza at 10:39 PM on January 09, 2004

Not holding out, just actually been busy this week for the first time in forever. Tennessee v. New England: New England Gotta go with the Patriots...The power of the Bruschi will be too much for the Titans. Pat's D and the cold will be too much for the sore ankles and shoulders of George and McNair. Indianapolis v. KC: Indianapolis Indianapolis is rolling (peaking at the right time to use a cliche) and KC just seems to be a bit lackluster to end the season. Carolina v. St. Louis: St. Louis Going with St. Louis on this one, though if Faulk has fewer than 20 carries I will be wrong. Stephen Davis wont be much help if Carolina is forced into playing catch up. Green Bay v. Philadelphia: Green Bay Gotta go with the old NFC Norris division (only Berman-ism I ever liked), for old times sake. Green Bay has been playing pretty well of late and Ahman Green is due. Loss of Westbrook could really be costly for Philly.

posted by pivo at 11:15 PM on January 09, 2004

Booyah! Kickoff is 4:30 PM EST, though.

posted by Bryant at 07:46 AM on January 10, 2004

Patriots Rams Colts Packers

posted by jacknose at 09:24 AM on January 10, 2004

Hal, I see some wrong numbers, Dano and I had the perfecta last week, but you have us as having two wins, you have 86 at two as well when he won three. I haven't looked any further, but it might skew our numbers a bit to make us all a little bit better at picking winners.

posted by jasonspaceman at 09:55 AM on January 10, 2004

I just want to remind everyone that my choices are ENTIRELY against what I wanted them to be...I was just following the Costanza rule. In my heart, I'll be cheering for my choices to be wrong. But because I sucked SO BAD last week, I have to go against my instincts. And the first game isn't until 4:30pm?! Damn! I'll be away from the TV by then! Grrr...

posted by grum@work at 11:46 AM on January 10, 2004

Bill Simmons (who is 4-0) so far picks: New England Carolina Indianpolis Phillie

posted by Bryant at 12:36 PM on January 10, 2004

Hm, I'll have to re-check the numbers; what's weird is the spreadsheet I'm using has the accurate numbers from what people are correcting, but my user page is different. They must not be transferring well when I get them into html... Weiiiird. Well, I'll have them fixed by 1:30PST (thanks, Bryant).

posted by hincandenza at 02:28 PM on January 10, 2004

Not that anyone particular cares any more :), but the complete list is up there currently, and I've double checked it. I'll probably re-update tonight as the first two games resolve.

posted by hincandenza at 04:03 PM on January 10, 2004

Big congrats to the achesons!

posted by 86 at 04:12 PM on January 10, 2004

Carolina... could it be?

posted by rocketman at 06:11 PM on January 10, 2004

The Rams coach is a first rate idiot. Go for the touchdown!

posted by jasonspaceman at 06:46 PM on January 10, 2004

I cannot contain my fury. Who is this guy? Grady Little?

posted by jasonspaceman at 06:47 PM on January 10, 2004

Totally agree. I was running to my computer to make the same call. WTF, Martz?

posted by forksclovetofu at 06:48 PM on January 10, 2004

This could screw up my record you grey headed sonuvabitch! I want the ball and I'm gonna score!

posted by forksclovetofu at 06:49 PM on January 10, 2004

Oh and they get the ball too. And I've gotta wait to switch channels to the Titans? Hell no! Call me when it's over.

posted by forksclovetofu at 06:50 PM on January 10, 2004

By the way, that call pissed me off.

posted by forksclovetofu at 06:51 PM on January 10, 2004

He missed!

posted by jasonspaceman at 07:05 PM on January 10, 2004

And touche! Fox could have run the ball up on that kick, it was a first and 17, but he got cocky and let him take it and they paid for it! Never SEEN such a poorly coached game... But here comes the Rams FG unit... and...

posted by forksclovetofu at 07:12 PM on January 10, 2004

I told you guys I suck at picking these games. What a last play, got to give props to the Panthers.

posted by billsaysthis at 07:27 PM on January 10, 2004

Bill, it's not you, it's the Rams coach.

posted by jasonspaceman at 07:32 PM on January 10, 2004

YEAHHHHHHHHHHHH WOOOOOOOOOOHOOOOO YEAHH that's the worst game i've ever had to indure. It's like someone liked torturing me.

posted by corpse at 07:51 PM on January 10, 2004

Like I said, a criminally insane head coach plus an inability to stop the run is trouble in the playoffs. [puts away own horn, stops tooting]
Fantastic football game, though!

posted by jeffmshaw at 07:59 PM on January 10, 2004

jason, but i knew who the coach was when i made the pick. amusingly, the cbs halftime crew speculated that martz's decision to wait for the last second fg may get lovie smith the head coaching job he really wants. lol

posted by billsaysthis at 08:57 PM on January 10, 2004

I thought Martz' kookiest decision wasn't the choice to go for the last second field goal, but in the first OT -- when, at first-and-ten from the Panthers' 35, he called a pass play. I had a few thoughts come to me all at once as Bulger dropped back:
*Does Martz, like Marty Morninwheg, not understand that the first team to score in OT wins? Must be those "MM" initials.
*Does Martz not remember the two awful, awful picks Bulger threw earlier in the game?
*Has Martz forgotten the 51 yard boot Wilkins kicked earlier in the game?
*Has Martz forgotten, once again, that Marshall Faulk is on his team? and, finally,
*Sweet, this asinine decision will save my pick.

posted by jeffmshaw at 10:28 PM on January 10, 2004

Has Martz forgotten, once again, that Marshall Faulk is on his team? Sad but oh so true. Martz seems to feel that if Faulk is too important to the offense, Martz won't get the proper credit.

posted by billsaysthis at 10:33 PM on January 10, 2004

...

posted by forksclovetofu at 10:48 PM on January 10, 2004

2-2. starting off a lot like last weekend.

posted by jerseygirl at 11:00 PM on January 10, 2004

sonofabitch. 0-2 today. Go Ponies and Eaglets!

posted by Ufez Jones at 11:18 PM on January 10, 2004

Man, I really want a Packers win tomorrow so I can make that mad scramble for Panthers tickets next weekend.

posted by NoMich at 11:39 PM on January 10, 2004

Freakin' Rams, man... second time I've been burned by a tight game... argh. And the Green Bay game was supposed to be my potential loser; I don't think I'm going 3-4 again this week, but it can still happen. BTW, Standings are updated. Interesting outcome: NONE of the 4-point Spofites from last week picked Carolina; as a result it was an equalizer game, the scores have narrowed, and there's now a large group of 4- and 5- point players going into Sunday's two games, with a fairly diverse set of picks. It's getting interesting!!!

posted by hincandenza at 12:14 AM on January 11, 2004

Thanks for keeping our scores current, Hal.

posted by NoMich at 11:56 AM on January 11, 2004

Folks, if you aren't close to St. Louis, you can't IMAGINE how pissed off people are here. Here were the three points where I stood up in my living room and went nuts: 1) With about 2:30 remaining, Martz chooses to let the clock run down to the two-minute warning. Why?!? Are you really that frightened of Bulger throwing another pick? Why the hell is he in the game then?!? As the crew on ESPN pointed out this morning, the Rams had the ball for the final 2:35 and ran four plays. FOUR. 2) The Rams run twice to set Wilkins up for a 53-yard attempt. Wait a fucking minute. I don't care HOW good kickers are — anything more than 40 yards is a crapshoot, plain and simple. For reference, Mike, LOOK BACK ABOUT THREE MINUTES AGO! 3) Oh. My. God. It's 3-and-14 or something, and the Rams are blitzing! I was immediately screaming and throwing pillows, because that means single coverage. Why would you not rush three and play a cover 2 to try and hold them to a 10-yard gain and force the punt? Even if they make the first down, they're still not anywhere near field-goal range. I'm sorry, but we can't take this anymore. Inept clock management. Marshall can't get 20 carries in a goddamned 2OT game. Martz has got to go.

posted by wfrazerjr at 12:16 PM on January 11, 2004

wfrazer, I understand how you feel. The name Ray Handley still strikes fear into the hearts of Giants fans.

posted by billsaysthis at 01:35 PM on January 11, 2004

Well, game 3 is in the books (and updated in the score list). For my spofi picks, I'm glad the Colts won- convincingly, with no punts and another high scoring game where nothing could stop the Colts mad rush forward. But for my New England Patriots, I am genuinely worried about the buzzsaw of Indianapolis, even in Foxborough. The SpoFi scores remain tight. 5-way tie for 1st place with six points, although only msacheson (who's 3-3 this weekend so far, and the only one with 6 points who's picked GB instead of PHI) can either break free from the pack or fall back into the middle. None of the 4-pointers from last week have gone 3-3 so far. Only 4 people still have a shot at the perfect weekend... including goddam, who's going for the 4-4 weekend if the Phillies win! Nice reversal of fortunes, goddam... :)

posted by hincandenza at 03:28 PM on January 11, 2004

I haven't yelled at the tv so much in one weekend.

posted by jasonspaceman at 07:16 PM on January 11, 2004

I can't believe that I actually went 4-4 this weekend.

posted by NoMich at 07:17 PM on January 11, 2004

Spofi calls: New England over Tennessee: 16 - 7 Correct! Indianapolis over Kansas City: 18 - 6 Correct! St. Louis over Carolina: 14 - 9 Incorrect! Philadelphia over Green Bay: 17 - 6 Correct! Well, as far as I'm concerned, we're still experts, but we should still refrain from sucking each other's dicks. There'll be plenty of time for that later!

posted by NoMich at 07:27 PM on January 11, 2004

We're the experts, Martz is not. I picked Tennessee all but KNOWING that they were gonna lose and I felt no disappointment when they played their ass off. That St. Louis loss was the one that broke my heart. The Titans fought like champions. The Rams got double crossed. AT LEAST three times. If they don't fire that sumbitch, there's no justice. Vote me "NO" on the fellatio, though. Your stubble chafes. /5 of 8. Hal, do you want to do the honors on the next post? You've done so much work already...

posted by forksclovetofu at 08:38 PM on January 11, 2004

Thanks, forks. Started a new Locker Room front page thread here. :)

posted by hincandenza at 09:22 PM on January 11, 2004

lay off martz, guys. the rams were beaten at the line of scrimage. beaten soundly despite the double-overtime. when the rams kick 5 FGs and only punch it across once--at home on turf--i don't think a few questionable decisions were the difference.

posted by danostuporstar at 09:38 PM on January 11, 2004

Respectfully disagree dan: for all the reasons fraze noted and a few others as well. Bad hair, for instance. Perennial underachievement, for another. Impersonating a coach is illegal in Missouri, isn't it?

posted by forksclovetofu at 12:03 AM on January 12, 2004

Dano, I am satisfied that the Panthers won the game, simply because they deserved to win the game. They did dominate the line of scrimmage, and they did shut down most of the Rams' offensive weapons. As we both know, however, sometimes winning the battles doesn't win the war, and there was absolutely no reason St. Louis could not have won that game in regulation, or at least have tried. The Panther defense was reeling, the Rams were finally running hot ... and Martz sits on it harder than Pottsie ever could. Four plays in 2:35!!! As for the firing of Martz, I spoke with a friend in the St. Louis media last night. He trotted out the old "Who are you going to get that's better than a 12-4 coach?" line. Well, who's to say if we had someone else this team wouldn't have gone 14-2? 15-1? I'm pretty damned sure St. Louis's season wouldn't be over right now if 95% of the other coaches in the league had been wearing Ram blue Saturday. Final point — if you were a Ram today, would you ever again have any faith in playing on a team coached by Mike Martz? Fire him.

posted by wfrazerjr at 08:31 AM on January 12, 2004

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