12/22/24
January 17, 2008
Hidden: Man Arrested for Forcing Son To Wear Packers Jersey: 36-year-old man tied up his young son with tape.
His wife overreacted by calling the cops on him. The article also said: Sheriff's Lt. Wayne Smith said that Kowald's wife filed a restraining order Wednesday, so Kowald will not be able to have contact with his family. Smith said other domestic issues have surfaced, though he wouldn't elaborate. Scars, there is obviously something else going on in that house. I'm not even gonna guess what it could be. You should read the entire article before posting.
posted by BoKnows at 05:52 PM on January 17, 2008
BoKnows: Undoubtedly, Scars did read the entire article. He's on the right track. Not only did the wife over react, more importantly the local gendarmes obviously were experiencing a lull between donut munching time and monitoring the "cow chip" contest. Common sense must not be a prerequisite prior to effecting an arrest in their little hamlet!!!
posted by Chubo at 06:13 PM on January 17, 2008
why wouldn't he try the jersey on it's just a shirt afterall. I now understand why he didn't like it, the son and his mother were probably Bears fans!!!!!!! posted by Scars at 5:42 PM CST on January 17 Doesn't look like the child wanted to put the jersey on. The child is the owner of his body.
posted by Cave_Man at 06:14 PM on January 17, 2008
I think BoKnows brings up an important point. Sure, the jersey incident might not strike you as that severe (to me it's outrageous), but I think the story smacks of on ongoing abusiveness in the household. When I heard the story on the news this morning, I commented to my wife that the guy seemed unstable, at best. At worst, this is a high profile culmination of a series of abuses (of both child and mother) by a severely troubled individual. It sounds like the guy has more problems than being an overzealous fan. The few accounts I've read of the incident don't sound as if he was in any way being playful with the child. In his screwed up mind, he somehow thought the child was actually affecting the game somehow by not wearing a jersey. Sounds to me like he needs to be institutionalized for a while, kept away from both the child and his wife, and given some meds until his priorities get a little clearer. On edit. Holy shit, people are trying to justify this behaviour! Our country is really close (I hope) to rock bottom.
posted by tahoemoj at 06:16 PM on January 17, 2008
I just read the article again BoKnows, and at the end it says there was no physical injury to the child and not enough evidence to warrant further evaluation. Although you are right when you say that there are other stuff going on in the house.
posted by Scars at 06:16 PM on January 17, 2008
There doesn't need to be evidence of physical injury for abuse to have occured. The body heals after severe trauma pretty quickly, the mind can be damaged forever. I'm not claiming to know the severity of this situation, but to simply dismiss it as an overreaction by the mother is, in my opinion, shortsighted. People get abused every day, and the situation is often progressive. There is no reason to wait until someone gets maimed before the law is involved.
posted by tahoemoj at 06:27 PM on January 17, 2008
To suggest that the police are unjustified in their action has yet to be seen. Hey, maybe the police have responded to calls before at the home. I don't know, neither do you. But the article states that other domestic issues have surfaced, so I'll support the police on this one. I just read the article again BoKnows, and at the end it says there was no physical injury to the child and not enough evidence to warrant further evaluation. Agreed. I read that too. But his wife seemed to feel a restraining order was necessary. That alone tells me it's not as simple as your post states.
posted by BoKnows at 06:30 PM on January 17, 2008
Folks, let me try to shed some enlightenment on this situation. 1) The authorities will almost always take an aggressive stance at first in a case like this. Far better to arrest the father, and get him out of what might be an abusive situation, than to let him stay and possibly do further damage. They will then be able to assess the situation, and take appropriate action afterwards. 2) If they find even the slightest evidence of harm, the dad is not going to have the charges dropped that quickly. At the very least he will have lesser charges brought against him, or the case referred to child protective services. 3) Anyone can get a restraining order filed. It's more of a legal step than a police action. So, the fact that the wife filed for one only means that she is upset at the guy, no that the police feel he is a threat. 4) If the police had any past issues that dealt with the guy being physically abusive to either the wife or child, it is doubtful they would have walked away from the situation so quickly. My take, I could be wrong as I know neither of the parties, is that the relationship has not been on solid footing of late, and that the wife is using the situation to bolster her standing in any upcoming divorce proceedings. Luckily for me, my son proudly wears his Viking's jersey during games!
posted by dviking at 06:36 PM on January 17, 2008
I live in Wisconsin and have heard a lot of local coverage on this. Most of it sounds like this guy is a moron who did something really stupid while he's in middle of a divorce. I'd say his chances at any child custody hearings are about as close to zero as they can get.
posted by BikeNut at 06:38 PM on January 17, 2008
Tahoemoj, how do you know if the kid was abused or not? It didn't say that in the story, and what do you call abuse? My father hit me and my big brother as a child but only because we disrespected him and that is called tough love. I was mad at my father during my teenage years but later on I understood why he did it. If your son keeps screaming and disrespecting you, what would you do let him continue and then go to the Maury show? It's not right to hit the kid for no reason, but slapping him when he doesn't understand with spoken words is reasonable. I am European altho now I am an American citizen and I know that most black parents in America beat or slap their kids when white parents don't. I know this because I have black friends.In Europe there are no child abuse or drinking laws although the two rarely mix. In my mind you can do this to the child if he is from 5 to 13 years old. It's not right to do this to girls though. If he passes that age, he should know better by then. Now I don't fear my father, although I respect him because he is family and he wants what's best for me. So there you go what you call abuse I call tough love. People can interpret it however they want to. I also want to say that I don't have any children, but I do plan on having kids someday. I want to close by saying that you only hit the kid when he doesn't understand at all whether he's throwing a temper tantrum in a store or he's cursing you,etc... You don't hit the kid if you are mad at a football game or something stupid like that. If you hit him then, you deserve to go to jail. Sorry for the long life story everybody, but I'm just speaking from personal experience and how I feel about this subject.
posted by Scars at 06:42 PM on January 17, 2008
I am European altho now I am an American citizen and I know that most black parents in America beat or slap their kids when white parents don't. I know this because I have black friends. Whether European or American, you should realize that it is very bad form to make broad generalizations about another ethnic group even if your anecdotal evidence seems to back up your belief.
posted by cjets at 07:05 PM on January 17, 2008
Earlier this season my daughter changed out of her Priest Holmes jersey at halftime........of the Raiders game.....and everyone knows how this season ended. I haven't spoken to her since. My hands are shaking as I type this. Oh, and none of my black friends beat thier kids.
posted by kcfan4life at 09:04 PM on January 17, 2008
...I know that most black parents in America beat or slap their kids when white parents don't. Scars, I hope admitting the problem is a big first step for you. Good luck in your racial bias recovery. We're pulling for you.
posted by Texan_lost_in_NY at 09:07 PM on January 17, 2008
In my mind you can do this to the child if he is from 5 to 13 years old. It's not right to do this to girls though. If he passes that age, he should know better by then. Now I don't fear my father, although I respect him because he is family and he wants what's best for me. So there you go what you call abuse I call tough love. People can interpret it however they want to. I also want to say that I don't have any children, but I do plan on having kids someday. I want to close by saying that you only hit the kid when he doesn't understand at all whether he's throwing a temper tantrum in a store or he's cursing you,etc... You don't hit the kid if you are mad at a football game or something stupid like that. If you hit him then, you deserve to go to jail. Sorry for the long life story everybody, but I'm just speaking from personal experience and how I feel about this subject. posted by Scars at 6:42 PM CST on January 17 Heck. I am going to offer you my username, you seem to be closer to a cave than I ever have been. Sorry dude, your reasoning is twisted, it takes patience, love and constant reinforcement, but kids do not have to be struck in any fashion to get them to behave. I suggest that you warn your African American friends that you say strike their kids to stop - their striking their kids is assault in most, if not all, US states.
posted by Cave_Man at 09:18 PM on January 17, 2008
Scars, I hope admitting the problem is a big first step for you. Good luck in your racial bias recovery. We're pulling for you. posted by Texan_lost_in_NY at 9:07 PM CST on January 17 Tex. I am not sure whether he has racial problems, that is not obvious to me from his posts. What is obvious to me is he appears to be confused about proper disciplining of children by their parents.
posted by Cave_Man at 09:21 PM on January 17, 2008
I think dviking hit the nail on the head. I just went through an ugly divorce where I was the sole provider for my family. The only way my ex-wife could get back at me was to call the police for every little thing. I saw the police so often, I began to know them by name. I'm not saying I know what's going on in this situation, but this incident is just the tip of the iceberg. I have three boys that I was awarded custody of and that in itself is rare in Arkansas and the south in general. I think that the kids are going to suffer in what's left of that messed up relationship.
posted by rlangleyar at 09:36 PM on January 17, 2008
Scars: There is no email in your profile, so I will ask you here to PLEASE read the Guidelines. You're obviously new here, and perhaps you missed the opportunity to read the Guidelines when you signed up, but it is suggested that you do so. Specifically I would like to draw your attention to the third bulletpoint in the "What makes a good thread comment" section: * The use of racist, sexist, or derogatory terms towards SportsFilter members or in the discussion of links is strictly forbidden. Saying "I know that most black parents in America beat or slap their kids when white parents don't." is a racist comment. I see in another thread that you also made a comment about a sport you don't like sucking. SportsFilter is not a place to say another member's team/sport/mama "sucks." Please read the Guidelines before continuing your ... ummm... contributions ... to this COMMUNITY. Thank you.
posted by scully at 10:13 PM on January 17, 2008
I'm sorry if what I said was racist towards anybody, that was not right of me. I probably dragged this out too long and made this about myself. The golf comment wasn't right either so I apologize for that.
posted by Scars at 10:26 PM on January 17, 2008
See. Being booed at a "punt, pass, and kick" event isn't so bad afterall. Your dad could be a Packers fan!
posted by sandskater at 12:41 AM on January 18, 2008
The boy acted appropriately by refusing to wear a Packers jersey. He is aware that the only approved jerseys are Rams and Redskins - if you are a citizen of this town.
posted by longgreenline at 01:28 AM on January 18, 2008
I know first hand about being charged by a wife planning to divorce. My boys were watching TV and not responding to my calls, so I flicked them with my finger on their head to get their attention. When arguing with my wife a bubble flew out of my mouth and landed on her face. She told the police I hit the kids on the head and spit in her face, far from the truth. When she wanted a divorce she filed a restraining order claiming my kids were afraid of me, I was abusive. No questions or facts asked of me or anyone yet a restraining order was ordered and I was kept from seeing my kids for nearly a year (I was not to come within 1000ft). She claimed I was abusive. She claimed I drank heavily. She claimed I did drugs. I was guilty in the courts eyes it seems as I had to prove myself innocent of every charge. I had to go through anger management. The Dr. running it said what happened to me and what I had to do to prove my innocence should have made me angry. He said the pendulum has swung too far (trying to protect the women) and needs to be adjusted. I had to go through Psychological evaluation and was tested every possible way. The result was I was a normal person no matter how hard these tests try to show anger, abusive tendencies etc. It also said the kids told the Dr. on their own they weren't afraid of me but it couldn't be admitted as evidence. I passed the drug test, even though the person cutting my hair for the test cut so much I had to drastically cut the rest to match. I passed the drinking test as they called me at 5AM Sunday morning to come in and be tested. My wife claimed many wine bottles were in my garbage. She knew I collect recycles for my kids to have money for them to spend themselves. She claimed my kids were afraid of me. My kids couldn't testify because they were too young (under 12) and she knew it. The tried to write a letter to the judge saying how they felt, but we couldn't get the kids to testify, write a letter or meet with the judge in his chambers. I gradually got the 1000ft limit reduced and then got my kids back again nearly a year, and over $100,000 in attorney fees and testing costs later. The courts say that we are supposed to think of the kids well being first, but they took their college tuition away by allowing these false claims to be basically the truth and I had to prove them wrong. Never been arrested, never a drunk driving, no history of abuse married 22 years but I was the person who was constantly defending myself. And all this from a woman who got a job by performing the Monica Lewinsky , except she didn' t get any on her dress (you can guess why). I can see very similar situations in the story. Many women and their women attorneys know what they can do by accusing and acting sweet in court, making the man look bad. And if he gets mad from what is happening, she will say "see what I mean". There is a law in many states that says a person can't claim abuse, when there is no history of abuse and no incidents. THEY have to prove it, not the other person trying to continually defend themselves from charges. No restraining orders without at least one history of facts and documented incident. It seems those who charge first are believed and the person charged has to prove himself innocent. Not what our system is supposed to be. I could only imagine what it must have been for an African American in the south many years ago and charged by a white person. He had no chance. We have to change the laws that allow this to happen. Notice we didn't hear from the child. They try to protect them to the detriment of hearing the truth from the one affected. These kids can be questioned in school when an incident happens, but not in court when serious charges are brought. Ridiculous. IMHO
posted by Hillerby at 01:37 AM on January 18, 2008
"...I know that most black parents in America beat or slap their kids when white parents don't. Scars, I hope admitting the problem is a big first step for you. Good luck in your racial bias recovery. We're pulling for you." Tell that to DL Hugely, the black comedian, who on the Tonight Show tonight said basically the same thing. Go to NBC.com and you can view the show and see what he said.
posted by Hillerby at 02:21 AM on January 18, 2008
First off this story belongs on the back page of the National Inquirer. Not as an FPP on SportsFilter.com. There is no sports information in this article at all. Somebody please delete this FPP before it degrades any further into someones trollish racial beliefs.
posted by jojomfd1 at 05:19 AM on January 18, 2008
slapping him when he doesn't understand with spoken words is reasonable. Scars, first let me say that anything im about to say is not meant in anyway as a personal attack. I am simply expressing concern, and if i come off as over-zealous, its only because this is an issue that hits a little too close to home for me. I realize that different cultures have different ways. In europe many places, it is perfectly within the bounds of parenting to slap or hit your child if they are missbehaving. I get that. That doesn't make it right. Parenting begins at birth (really at conception i guess) you begin setting the limits for what is acceptable and what isnt early, so that later on, when they are at the age where you could possibly hit them without breaking them, they are obediant enough not to push you that far. More importantly, there is NEVER a time when it is ok to hit a child. not when they are bad. Not when they are screaming in wal-mart. N-E-V-E-R. Most of the people i know who were abused, do, or did at some point in their lives, defend their abuser, so i get why you are doing that. Defending a parent for abuse is perfectly normal among abused kids (i should clarify:defending ones own parent for abuse). But you have to be very careful once you have kids not to repeat the cycle. If you havent saught help yet, you really should. We tend to model ourselves as parents, after our parents, no matter how much we resist. As i said: i dont want to come off as attacking you, or for that matter, your father, but striking a child is simply wrong. Im not gonna go into the blanket statement about black parents, because i think everyone else has that covered. This issue is close to me, because i have close friends who were abused, and i am going to school to be a child psychologist. i know im gonna see alot of bad stuff. I want to help if i can. please email me at elijahin24@yahoo.com, if there is anything i can do.
posted by elijahin24 at 05:29 AM on January 18, 2008
Damn, that is messed up. He was just having some fun with his son. In the story it doesn't even say if the child was crying. It's not like he beat the kid or anything like that. His wife overreacted by calling the cops on him. And his son was probably spoiled, why wouldn't he try the jersey on it's just a shirt afterall. I now understand why he didn't like it, the son and his mother were probably Bears fans!!!!!!!