11/23/24
September 06, 2007
The Hoser's NFL picks -- Week One: NFL picks that plan to dress up as Tony Siragusa in drag for Halloween this year. Sportsfilter member wfrazerjr returns with his weekly column for the new NFL season.
Well, we're off to a flying start already.
posted by wfrazerjr at 10:23 PM on September 06, 2007
Oh, fraze. You backed the wroooooooong pony, tonight. That was a smackdown.
posted by WeedyMcSmokey at 10:51 PM on September 06, 2007
Is there any newbie translation guide for any of this? Like what's this +/- stuff etc...? I've lived this side of the Atlantic for 10 years now and have never figured out what the hell all this means. (ATS? Trifecta? HELP!)
posted by Drood at 12:25 AM on September 07, 2007
ATS means against the spread. New Orleans (+6) at Indianapolis for example means that New Orleans' score plus 6 points should equal Indianapolis' score, in other words Indy is favored to win. wfrazerjr has indicated he is SU (straight up) picking NO to win. Trifecta is really borrowing a horse racing term meaning that these are three games that you can take his advice to the bank on and the lock of the week you can really take his advice to the bank on. However, he has strongly indicated that it is all in fun so don't dip into your 401k just yet.
posted by kyrilmitch_76 at 04:45 AM on September 07, 2007
The Bengals are reportedly looking at RB DeDe Dorsey, late of the Indianapolis Colts. Head coach Marvin Lewis, short on bodies in the backfield, is also interested in a.a. milne, B.B. King and CeCe Peniston. Dude, e.e. cummings has a wicked cutback.
posted by The_Black_Hand at 04:47 AM on September 07, 2007
No mention of the thrashing The Deadheads will give BobNDougzStrangeCrew? The Deadheads up 43-6 right now.
posted by scully at 06:25 AM on September 07, 2007
Kevin Smith enjoys painting roses in his spare time. Smith is not the first NFL player to show an interest in flowers, as I believe several Vikings players had tulips on their members during a boat ride last season. Try the veal.
posted by THX-1138 at 12:42 PM on September 07, 2007
I get your reference, THX, but what does The Godfather have to do with the quoted article? Just curious is all.
posted by NoMich at 12:46 PM on September 07, 2007
It is a quote from showroom and supper club comedians and entertainers of old to encourage the patrons to dine at the establishment they are performing in. Wait a minute. Are you screwing with me? I can never tell if people are serious or shining me on.
posted by THX-1138 at 12:59 PM on September 07, 2007
Aaahhh...I see now. Sorry, I was confused. Damn, back to work for me.
posted by NoMich at 01:10 PM on September 07, 2007
"Shinning. De ye want ta get suuuuuuud, boy?"
posted by yerfatma at 01:10 PM on September 07, 2007
I want to point out in my defense that I was not made aware the Saints had replaced their normal offensive line with five cadavers from the Indianapolis City Morgue. As for the Deadheads, no offense to you but I'm already losing interest in the league. If a QB can have the appallingly bad night Drew Brees did and still finish just two points below his projected total, the scoring is seriously fucked up.
posted by wfrazerjr at 01:52 PM on September 07, 2007
Picking the Lions on the road?! It may be Oakland but you are living on the edge Mr. Frazer.
posted by Ying Yang Mafia at 02:31 PM on September 07, 2007
I'm glad the Hoser is back. Great entertainment. If a QB can have the appallingly bad night Drew Brees did and still finish just two points below his projected total, the scoring is seriously fucked up. Yeah, that completion stat changes everything. Manning threw 3 TDs & 0 ints. Brees threw 0 Tds & 2 ints. Only 9 points separated them.
posted by bperk at 04:40 PM on September 07, 2007
That is incredibly fucked up. Yahoo really messed up there. Although seeing as Brett Farve is my starting QB this change will probably benefit me.
posted by Ying Yang Mafia at 04:58 PM on September 07, 2007
Kyril: Thank you! For years I've wondered what the hell that all meant.:)
posted by Drood at 05:09 PM on September 07, 2007
Cardinals over 49ers? Must be a Monday night thing.
posted by billsaysthis at 11:05 PM on September 08, 2007
Week One results: Straight Up: 10-6 Against The Spread: 6-9-1 Lock of the Week: 0-0-1 Trifecta: 0-1
posted by wfrazerjr at 02:06 PM on September 11, 2007
Looks like I was wrong about the Lions. Not bad straight up fraze.
posted by Ying Yang Mafia at 02:53 PM on September 11, 2007
The Panther depth chart lists “M. Moore” as Carolina’s third-string QB. It’s Matt, not Michael, but given that Jake Delhomme and David Carr are ahead of him, we’d say that situation is pretty Sicko. Ugh, truer words have never been uttered.