11/05/24
October 12, 2005
Love....exciting and new.: Seventeen Minnesota Vikings fingered in a chartered cruise ship tryst on Lake Minnetonka that included "lap dances and sexual acts". (More inside - bugmenot for article - tmogardo@mailinator.com, password: juvie211).
posted by Ufez Jones to football at 09:17 AM - 36 comments
Anyone been to Minnesota ? Other than killing animals or cross-country skiing, there's not a helluva lot to do. Sounds to me like 17 bored men in their prime having a little fun, although they should have laid off the crew. Love Boat indeed.
posted by Texan_lost_in_NY at 09:37 AM on October 12, 2005
Heh, fingered.
posted by NoMich at 09:45 AM on October 12, 2005
Sounds to me like 17 bored men in their prime having a little fun, although they should have laid off the crew. And mopped up after themselves.
posted by lil_brown_bat at 09:52 AM on October 12, 2005
Unavailable for comment: 
posted by wfrazerjr at 09:57 AM on October 12, 2005
It reads like an excerpt from some liberal newspaper in the 8th century complaining about the behaviour of the vikings. It's a strange country you lot live in - you'll sell guns to people all day and night, but the second someone gets their tits out everyone's running for cover like God himself might show up at any minute and get his smote on. But yeah - leave the staff alone and clear up your mess.
posted by JJ at 10:02 AM on October 12, 2005
you'll sell guns to people all day and night, but the second someone gets their tits out everyone's running for cover like God himself might show up at any minute and get his smote on. Well, that's a bit of a stretch. If it were just a get up of girls gone wild, then I don't think anyone would be all too concerned. I'm quite sure many athletes frequent strip clubs while they're on the road. But if Stella the WonderStripper is taking a 14-inch studded strap-on to Fred Smoot while some 17 year old kid walking by trying not to spill eight tequila shooters, I think we're talking about a different kind of ballgame here.
posted by Ufez Jones at 10:07 AM on October 12, 2005
The NFL won't do anything about it. Prostitutes, illegal drugs, whatever, it's just another off-day in the NFL. I always get a kick out of the conflicting stories. It's just like dealing with little kids when they're in trouble. One says it happened this way, another will say, no, it happened this way. If it would have happened on a boat specifically chartered with the understanding things would get raunchy, then I'd say "Big deal." But it sounds like some of the individuals involved were complete jerks, and that many of the employees were exposed to behavior they shouldn't have to be exposed to unknowingly and unwillingly. Oh yeah, and another thing: The Vikings suck and they can't even have a party without screwing it up (no pun intended).
posted by dyams at 10:11 AM on October 12, 2005
I think we're talking about a different kind of ballgame here. One I'd like to see the rulebook for.
posted by yerfatma at 10:14 AM on October 12, 2005
I wasn't aware there were rules to debauchery.....HMMMMM, and all this time I have probably been doing it wrong!!!
posted by sinisterfoot at 10:29 AM on October 12, 2005
Prior to boarding, at least one group [of Vikings apparently] in a limo urinated on Cathy Hough's lawn in Mound, according to Hough and police. She said she confronted the men. "I said, 'Excuse me, do you mind?' And they looked at me as if I was crazy," Hough said Tuesday. "One of them said, "It's only water, ma'am,' and he continued peeing. I said no, it's not." (From an earlier Star Tribune article) Yeah, they were pretty damn stupid. Nice bye week. Nothing like a cruise on the orgy boat to get the team back on the same page. I wonder what that police call sounded like: "I would like to report the Vikings just pissed in my yard..." Everyone is really going to want to talk about the stadium stuff now.
posted by chris2sy at 11:17 AM on October 12, 2005
Clearly, the Vikings had all just watched Purple Rain and wanted to purify themselves in the waters of Lake Minnetonka.
posted by cobra! at 11:17 AM on October 12, 2005
What?!? NFL players are boorish party animals!?! I... I have to sit down... The shock is.... is.... *swoons*.
posted by WeedyMcSmokey at 12:10 PM on October 12, 2005
My question is, was Mike Tice there and, if so, have they recovered his pencil?
posted by yerfatma at 12:22 PM on October 12, 2005
i agree with dyams the vikings do suck and its no big deal and there just going to get a slap on the hand and a dont do it again but if it was a different team and there players they probably wouldnt even say anything about it. go steelers there going to the super bowl and winnig it hopefully.
posted by italianchic666 at 12:25 PM on October 12, 2005
My question is, was Mike Tice there and, if so, have they recovered his pencil I don't know the answer to that one, but he probably scalped tickets to the event... if it was a different team and there players they probably wouldnt even say anything about it No kidding? So the other teams have orgy parties all the time in public places (although the boat was private, on the lake is public enough)? You got me there, because I didn't know that. I guess its possible.
posted by chris2sy at 12:32 PM on October 12, 2005
Is this part of Mike Tice righting the ship? Or was that riding the ship?
posted by Turbo at 12:43 PM on October 12, 2005
Ah yes, pro athletes, the salt fo the earth!
posted by daddisamm at 01:03 PM on October 12, 2005
The award for lamest denial goes to Mewelde Moore: Running back Mewelde Moore admitted today that he was on the board the boat but said media reports that characterized the trip as a sex party “got it all wrong, I guess.” “Yeah, I was on the boat,” Moore said. “But I don’t know exactly what the problem is because nothing happened.” Moore said he “didn’t see anything,” including sex acts. “Sex? What are you talking about?” Moore said. “That’s crazy. Sex? Come on. Look, I’m engaged. So none of that. That will put me in trouble.”
posted by cobra! at 01:19 PM on October 12, 2005
Well, they topped Kyle Orton's bye week.
posted by chris2sy at 01:49 PM on October 12, 2005
ufez, I have to let you know this thread title is genius.
posted by garfield at 02:26 PM on October 12, 2005
YEAH THEY DO SUCK!! BUT THEIRS NOTHING LIKE BEER AND STRIPPPERS AND SEX GAMES BUT THEY SHOULD OF BEEN A LITTLE MORE GROWN UP ABOUT HOW THINGS WENT. (OH YEAH GO RAIDERS!!!)
posted by footballfan at 02:26 PM on October 12, 2005
I bet Randy Moss is kicking himself for not sticking around another year.
posted by nickgomez at 03:03 PM on October 12, 2005
To me, the fact that this happened after Randy Moss left town is the most surprising aspect of the story.
posted by The_Black_Hand at 03:03 PM on October 12, 2005
I wasn't aware there were rules to debauchery..... The laws of physics are never suspended. Break them at your peril.
posted by lil_brown_bat at 05:49 PM on October 12, 2005
Or at least say the safety word before you do. Someone could lose an eye.
posted by yerfatma at 05:56 PM on October 12, 2005
One I'd like to see the rulebook for. I'm not sure who wrote it, but I believe Michael Irvin did the foreword.
posted by Ufez Jones at 05:58 PM on October 12, 2005
Perhaps this will improve their defense. And offense. Oh and special teams.
posted by riss at 06:46 PM on October 12, 2005
Espn says that these guys were doing a simple "guys will be guys" thing. Its no different than a bucnch of guys from the office going to a strip club.. From thier perspective, this isnt even a story.. that is sad!
posted by daddisamm at 09:03 PM on October 12, 2005
The had to get amusement somehow, pretty sure they're terrible. Culpepper might have been recruiting a new WR because he has no one to throw to now. If those strippers can catch the clap they may be able to catch the ball.
posted by KingKrock at 10:13 PM on October 12, 2005
As a longtime Vikings fan, I think this could be just the thing to turn the season around. The more trouble they get in off the field (drug busts, DUIs, now sex cruises), the better they do on the field.
posted by kirkaracha at 11:03 PM on October 12, 2005
There">could be other implications of this incident. The Vikings are trying to get a new Stadium. This isnt going to help!
posted by daddisamm at 07:16 AM on October 13, 2005
There could be other implications of this incident. Yeah, like somebody coming home with some new diseases.
posted by lil_brown_bat at 10:55 AM on October 13, 2005
This could actually be a boon for the Twin Cities' jewelry market, once names are named and the fellas are scrambling for "I'm sorry" gifts.
posted by The_Black_Hand at 04:17 PM on October 13, 2005
I am told-boys will be boys!
posted by daddisamm at 05:00 PM on October 13, 2005
Looks like the Vikings owner is "as mad as Heck and aint gonna taki it anymore. Looks like">he is gonna have a code of conduct!
posted by daddisamm at 02:53 PM on October 15, 2005
The St. Paul Pioneer Express writes:
I'll take four Purple People Eaters, Isaac. (via The Sports Frog)