11/05/24
December 17, 2004
Kobe Bryant Needs a Big Brother: In a weirdly personal column on ESPN.Com, Jason Whitlock blames Vanessa Bryant for the soap opera between Kobe Bryant and Karl Malone. Whitlock, who once wrote a column in praise of divorce, writes, "You owe The Mailman an apology. If your wife didn't leave the mailbox wide open, The Mailman would've never bothered her."
posted by rcade to basketball at 11:12 AM - 22 comments
Kobe needs psychological help. I hope Shaq slams his a** when they play on Christmas Day.
posted by mayerkyl at 11:31 AM on December 17, 2004
I grow tired of Kobe. I'd wish the Media would stop talking to him and visa versa. There is enough "stuff" going on in basketball without the continuing story of "AS the Kobe Turns!"
posted by daddisamm at 12:00 PM on December 17, 2004
Let me get this straight. Kobe said some boneheaded thing and got in the news? Wow.
posted by trox at 12:29 PM on December 17, 2004
Has there ever been a smoother pick up line than, "I'm hunting little Mexican girls"? Chicks really dig that stuff.
posted by dzot at 12:32 PM on December 17, 2004
SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP Sorry, just had to get that out. Both Whitlock and Kobe are high and getting higher on my shitlist, so this was too much for my system.
posted by dusted at 12:44 PM on December 17, 2004
Has there ever been a smoother pick up line than, "I'm hunting little Mexican girls"? Yes there is one line that's better, "Hi, I'm Kobe and the charges were dropped."
posted by mayerkyl at 12:57 PM on December 17, 2004
First thing Whitlock has ever written that I liked.
posted by Bernreuther at 01:42 PM on December 17, 2004
Has there ever been a smoother pick up line than, "I'm hunting little Mexican girls"? Too bad it was a cowboy hat instead of a sombrero, because then he could have used "yo quiero little mexican girls" I'm glad Mailman and Shaq don't hate me...I'm just sayin'
posted by chris2sy at 02:23 PM on December 17, 2004
No, Kobe is fine, he's doing his little press tour right now trying to make things right with Shaq, and Malone was out of line if what has been reported is true. Now, you know who needed a Big Brother? Mike Tyson needed a big brother, someone as big as George Foreman, and with a chin like Randall Tex Cobb, you could have hit Cobb with a bulldozer and he'd have gotten up when the ref hit five in the count. Mike needed a big brother that would tell Don King to go to hell, tell him to keep training, and one to drag him out of the room before he rapes a woman. Ok, maybe I was jumping the gun on Kobe, looking at my reasons for Tyson, Kobe could use a big brother too.
posted by jbou at 02:42 PM on December 17, 2004
Kobe's got problems. Whitlock is a moron. Nothing to see here.
posted by lilnemo at 02:52 PM on December 17, 2004
Whitlock is an asshole......which I guess makes him Kobe's brother after all -- the twin.
posted by smithers at 03:13 PM on December 17, 2004
If your wife didn't leave the mailbox wide open, The Mailman would've never bothered her. Umm, from what we learned from Colorado, the mailbox doesn't make much difference. I think Kobe prefers to go in through the mail chute.
posted by wfrazerjr at 03:15 PM on December 17, 2004
Kobe's hater see what he did to Sac.
posted by COACH.RACCCK at 05:18 PM on December 17, 2004
Hrm. Maybe we need a grammar checker here. Or just a basic grammar and spelling test as part of registration.
posted by tieguy at 06:33 PM on December 17, 2004
LIKE O.J., KOBE MARRIED AN 18 YEAR OLD GIRL WITH FAME & $$$ IN THEIR EYES. NEITHER WOMAN SHOULD HAVE BEEN SURPRISED WHEN FACED WITH THE CONSEQUENCES OF AN OVERINFLATED EGO.
posted by DGIL at 07:28 PM on December 17, 2004
I TOTALLY AGREE. THOSE GOLD-DIGGING WENCHES GOT WHAT THEY DESERVE.
posted by rocketman at 08:12 PM on December 17, 2004
*cough*
posted by rocketman at 08:12 PM on December 17, 2004
IS IT CAPS LOCK DAY AGAIN ALREADY!?!?!?! EXCELLENT SELLER!!!! CHEWS WITH MOUTH CLOSED!!! +1 WEARS CLEAN UNDIES!!
posted by lilnemo at 11:18 PM on December 17, 2004
Has anyone noticed that Kobe is playing out of his mind. Do you fault a guy who's dropping 36pts with 14asts but losing? To be candid, I find the evolution of Kobe to be the 3rd most interesting thing in the NBA (LBJ is #1, Bulls #2).
posted by Mike McD at 11:39 AM on December 18, 2004
LBJ = Lebron James? What is so interesting about the Bulls? They won their last two games but still have only six wins.
posted by billsaysthis at 12:27 PM on December 18, 2004
A+++++++++++++++ WOULD HUNT LITTLE MEXICAN GIRL AGAIN!
posted by mr_crash_davis at 09:12 PM on December 18, 2004
Was there any doubt of who was pulling the strings/wearing the shorts after the $4m ring?