August 20, 2003

Sports Illustrated columnist Rick Reilly, who five months ago marveled at the "ozone-piercing potential" of Kobe Bryant, now describes how far he could fall if found guilty of rape. "Colorado sex-offense statutes are probably the harshest in the country," a Denver trial attorney says. "There's no worse place to commit a sex crime."

posted by rcade to basketball at 08:15 AM - 10 comments

"Either way, while he is awaiting sentencing, he will likely be given a penile plethysmograph test, in which an electric measuring band connected to a computer will be placed around his penis. He will then be shown pornographic, deviant and sex-abuse images, and the device will record his level of arousal. Whoa. How totally horrifying.

posted by Samsonov14 at 10:24 AM on August 20, 2003

an electric measuring band connected to a computer will be placed around his penis Man. I'm sportin' wood just reading that.

posted by vito90 at 10:28 AM on August 20, 2003

Kobe's fucked if he is convicted. For someone who thinks consensual sex involves ass tearing, he has no chance in hell of passing the penis monitor.

posted by garfield at 11:18 AM on August 20, 2003

My wife's dad hooked me up to that machine before we got married.

posted by jasonspaceman at 12:14 PM on August 20, 2003

Jason, don't you think deep, dark amily secrets should not be bandied about on the Internet? Garfield, just think how much fun he'll have in prison though. Plus no more pressure from Lakers fans to deliver a title.

posted by billsaysthis at 02:03 PM on August 20, 2003

I think one place worse to commit a sex offence is Saudi Arabia. Nothing to attach a electric measuring band to, after that 'trial'.

posted by WeedyMcSmokey at 02:51 PM on August 20, 2003

The "penile plethysmograph test" has been debunked numerous times and is rarely, if ever, admissable as evidence in court. Why is pseudo science being used to determine the fate of any criminal?

posted by dusted at 03:26 PM on August 20, 2003

"There's no worse place to commit a sex crime." How 'bout: Outside a concert with a Hell's Angel's daughter. The Gobi desert at noon. In court. On the witness stand. During your valedictory address. Home alone. Is that on the city limits sign? 'Cause it should be.

posted by yerfatma at 05:54 PM on August 20, 2003

How 'bout: As a black man at a KKK fundraiser. The bear exhibit. 18th green at Augusta. 5:30 PM. Sunday. At a Syphilitics Annoymous meeting. Seventh Inning stretch.

posted by WeedyMcSmokey at 02:00 PM on August 21, 2003

What is that silly penis device supposed to prove? That Kobe is like any other dude in the world? That sex and pornos turn him on? I didn't go and beat someone up and force sex on them, but I would totally fail that test... does that prove that I have a tendency to beat someone up for sex? That is some stupid shit.... I hope the prosecution has a better case than that cuz if not, they are sure wasting A LOT of people's time on this...

posted by jhwoo82 at 07:40 AM on August 22, 2003

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