June 20, 2011

Top Ten Evil Sports: Doesn't include cheerleading.

posted by owlhouse to general at 09:58 PM - 16 comments

Competing in the wife carrying championships is on my bucket list.

posted by Ying Yang Mafia at 10:32 PM on June 20

The beloved activity of hucksters puffing smoke in casino backrooms, [poker] it is shown on ESPN, after all makes a virtue out of duplicity and dissembling, values few would ever celebrate in regular society.

Not a sport, but a game.

Nevertheless, it's more about statistics, game theory, and risk management. The "duplicity" angle isn't real, except in bad movie scenes and cheap theatrics for television.

posted by grum@work at 01:05 AM on June 21

All the while, the game remains in the hands of media tycoons, shadowy oligarchs and the ever scandalous technocrats and yes-men of FIFA, the sport's global administrative body. They rake in the cash while we, the ever faithful, kneel at the sport's altar, seeking salvation in its false but oh-so-beautiful idols.

Except for, of course, the millions of kids who play it without giving a damn what the professionals are doing. When the poorest of the poor can still play the sport in the worst conditions around, I have to think that sport really can't be "evil", can it?

posted by grum@work at 01:09 AM on June 21

I'm pretty sure his tongue was in his cheek when he wrote most of this, especially Number 1.

posted by owlhouse at 02:56 AM on June 21

Interesting that the wife carrying is popular to the point where the crowds of spectators need to be kept behind barricades. With corporate logo branding, no less.

They have it a bit wrong though. The wives are facing in the wrong direction. Why would the men need to be able to see where they're going?

And the men are supposed to tell jokes as they run.

C'mon, David Tyree, mister anti-same sex marriage man. You're messed up in the head. You saying you don't want to see Rosie O'Donnell entered as a contestant in this event?

posted by beaverboard at 06:58 AM on June 21

For golf, he should've just linked to this.

posted by NoMich at 08:53 AM on June 21

I know owlhouse was joking when he said that it didn't include cheerleading; but it SHOULD have.

Does anybody else remember that ridiculous spectacle of the injured cheerleader being carted off on a backboard while still gesticulating with her arms as if she were continuing to cheer?

I don't condone violence against women, but that girl/woman should have been slapped and sterilized so that her mutant cheerleader genes would not be passed to the next unwitting generation.

posted by Tinman at 10:14 AM on June 21

Competing in the wife carrying championships is on my bucket list.

While not the big one in Finland, I competed in a wife carrying contest at a Scandinavian festival in New Jersey last year. Finishing in 3rd place is on the hilight reel of my athletic career. It should be also noted that the traditional prize (as well as at this festival) is the wife's weight in beer.

posted by bender at 11:24 AM on June 21

For golf, he should've just linked to this.

So that's where Hugo Chavez got the idea.

And - a top 10 lists of evil sports without hockey?

posted by graymatters at 11:25 AM on June 21

The only reason Golf was not #1 is pandering to Time's advertisers. Golf IS pure evil.

posted by billsaysthis at 11:47 AM on June 21

More evil sports, please. I love them.

posted by THX-1138 at 03:36 PM on June 21

Does anyone else get the impression that Ishaan Tharoor got picked last a few too many times on the playground?

posted by Demophon at 03:38 PM on June 21

I don't condone violence against women, but

When I read this I couldn't help but think of this website.

posted by Ying Yang Mafia at 06:07 PM on June 21

So... Time magazine has officially turned into Cracked?

posted by Joey Michaels at 09:30 PM on June 21

No, Cracked has the decency to split its lists across two pages, not ten.

posted by Mr Bismarck at 09:43 AM on June 22

You raise an excellent point. I am going to propose that Cracked > Time.

posted by Joey Michaels at 07:46 PM on June 22

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