04/24/24
May 10, 2003
No way, José: A Miami Herald photograph of last Saturday's Kentucky Derby has cast some suspicion on winning jockey José Santos, who appears to be carrying something unusual in his whip hand as he rides Funny Cide to an upset victory.
What I see in that picture is the jockey pinching the trailing horse's ear. He looks like he's smushing that horse's ear to rattle the horse. < bad joke> No horseplay, guys! < / bad joke>
posted by therev at 04:26 PM on May 10, 2003
Apparently whipping is kosher, but using a gag-shocker is unacceptable. Moral of the story: Never fuck with Vegas! There is definitely something there in his hand. I thought it could be mini-adrenaline shots or some other spin on a movie plot from a few years back (Bad Boyz or something equally as reputable). Has anyone checked to see if the jockey himself laid a sizable wager in aforementioned city of Sin? Sequel? And what's with the guy inventing a seemingly common device no one else has ever heard of, though is essential in taxing the horse back to its stable? I was a kid once, and lying was somewhat of a necessity, but Santos can't lie to save, well, his job. Due to his sub-par lying faculties, I conclude Santos is from Alpha Centari and was communicating with the 'HomePlanet.' Conspiracy theory or innocent cigarette lighter, this guy needs lying lessons.
posted by garfield at 08:24 AM on May 11, 2003
I think it's a little tape recorder with the words, "Faster, or you'll fit nicely into a can of Alpo," repeating in horsey language.
posted by wfrazerjr at 10:13 PM on May 11, 2003
I know next to nothing about horse racing, despite having worked at a race track as a kid. Is the idea here that he was shocking the horse somehow during the race? Not for nothing, but I'm not all that sure that shocking a horse is any worse than whipping it.