12/21/24
November 17, 2009
Soccer Striker Will Treat Injury with Horse Placenta: Arsenal striker Robin Van Persie is flying to Serbia to have fluid from a horse placenta massaged over his injured ankle. Van Persie, 26, suffered a partial tear of ligaments while playing for the Dutch national team and is expected to be out six weeks. ESPN Soccernut runs down other miracle cures sought by players, including goat's blood injections for hamstring problems, shamanism for ankle woes and Viagra for altitude sickness.
When i first saw this headline at the Guardian, I thought it was a joke. Then I actually read the article.
posted by boredom_08 at 02:38 PM on November 17, 2009
I don't care what treatment he uses. I had to sell him and buy someone else instead. Used my damn wild card this week, too.
Not that it will do him or my team any good, mind you.
posted by owlhouse at 02:53 PM on November 17, 2009
Damn. And here I thought my HMO was bad.
posted by Ufez Jones at 04:09 PM on November 17, 2009
Trouble with this is that now he'll kick backwards, but very powerfully. He'll also eat a lot of oatmeal, and may occasionally be caught lying on the pitch contentedly munching at the grass.
posted by Howard_T at 05:07 PM on November 17, 2009
Sounds like he'd be a perfect fit for The Three Lions, Howard.
*runs off*
posted by Ufez Jones at 06:16 PM on November 17, 2009
I don't know why this is newsworthy. I get horse placenta massages all the time. Sure it smells, but ... well, I can't get past the smell. But goat blood injection? Ew.
posted by smithnyiu at 10:43 PM on November 17, 2009
I'm gonna have to try that Viagra line the next time I'm near some mountains.
posted by insomnyuk at 02:33 AM on November 18, 2009
Is the horse placenta used to specifically complement RVP's looks? I imagine Ruud Van Nistelhorse would also be a horse placenta man. Let's hope Craig Bellamy doesn't get injured - think how many pregnant rats you'd have to get hold of to treat him.
posted by JJ at 04:55 AM on November 18, 2009
I don't care what treatment he uses. I had to sell him and buy someone else instead. Used my damn wild card this week, too.
No kidding. Fantasy EPL-wise, the football playing ability of my picks has almost been irrelevant next to their ability to actually not be injured or suspended.
posted by juv3nal at 01:50 PM on November 20, 2009
An anonymous player explained: "We decided to store our new baby's stem cells for possible future therapeutic reasons... as a footballer, if you're prone to injury it can mean the end of your career, so having your stem cells - a repair kit if you like - on hand makes sense."
Yeah, perfect sense....WTF?!!?