July 16, 2009

Tennis Player Scores with I-Kissed-a-Cokehead Defense: The International Tennis Federation's tribunal panel ruled that tennis player Richard Gasquet inadvertently took cocaine by kissing a woman in a nightclub, enabling the 23-year-old Frenchman to avoid a long ban for drugs. After he tested positive in a urine sample in March, Gasquet said that he made out with a woman named Pamela at a dance music festival in Miami and must have ingested trace amounts of the drug through her slobber. Gasquet was "on the balance of probability, contaminated with cocaine by Pamela" and, therefore, not significantly at fault for the doping offense, the panel ruled. Whether it was Pam Anderson, Pam Dawber, Pamela Sue Martin, Pam Oliver or some other Pam was unavailable at press time.

posted by rcade to tennis at 04:56 PM - 6 comments

I'm confused. By kissing does he mean that he licked the inside of a strange woman's nostril?

posted by MW12 at 09:34 PM on July 16, 2009

Don't knock it til you've tried it.

ok... ewww

(Pam Dawber? no no nanu)

posted by bobfoot at 11:55 PM on July 16, 2009

In a related story, a lady friend of Plaxico Burress is having her tongue tested for traces of gunpowder.

posted by beaverboard at 12:23 AM on July 17, 2009

I'm confused. By kissing does he mean that he licked the inside of a strange woman's nostril?

Richard Gasquet, 23-year-old Frenchman

M'excuser madame mais vous avez de la blanche autour de vos narines. Ne pas soucier de lui cependant, je le lcherai pour vous.

posted by BornIcon at 08:01 AM on July 17, 2009

Pam Ward?

Overarching debate spawning question-does it reflect poorly or well on young Richard that he's making out with cokeheads?

posted by Bonkers at 08:28 AM on July 17, 2009

PAM SHRIVER

That would make this my favorite off-court tennis story of all time.

posted by Uncle Toby at 09:08 AM on July 17, 2009

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