September 07, 2006

2006 NFL Predictions: Prognosticate away!

posted by YukonGold to navel gazing at 07:03 AM - 30 comments

AFC East: Patriots AFC North: Cincinnati AFC South: Indianapolis AFC West: Kansas City AFC Wildcard: Jacksonville AFC Wildcard: Pittsburgh NFC East: Giants NFC North: Chicago NFC South: Carolina NFC West: Seattle NFC Wildcard: Dallas NFC Wildcard: Detroit AFC Champion: Cincinatti NFC Champion: Seattle Super Bowl Champion: Seattle

posted by YukonGold at 07:12 AM on September 07, 2006

So Seattle breaks the "Curse of the Super Bowl Loser" with authority, eh Mr. Gold? I disagree. Same picks for the playoffs as you, except: AFC West: Denver AFC Wildcard: Miami, Jacksonville NFC East: Philadelphia NFC Wildcard: Giants, Arizona AFC Champ: Indianapolis NFC Champ: Philadelphia Super Bowl Champs: Philadelphia Wow this gets harder and harder each year. No teams jump out at you and you can make arguments against everyone. I really don't want to sound like a homer picking the Eagles, but they shored up the WR position and the D-line. They have a healthy McNabb back and they got rid of the clown. I had Carolina, but I changed it.

posted by SummersEve at 08:09 AM on September 07, 2006

Homer.

posted by YukonGold at 08:45 AM on September 07, 2006

D'OH!

posted by SummersEve at 09:01 AM on September 07, 2006

Fred Taylor gets injured.

posted by WeedyMcSmokey at 09:33 AM on September 07, 2006

AFC East: Miami AFC North: Cincinnati AFC South: Indianapolis AFC West: Denver AFC Wildcard: San Diego AFC Wildcard: Pittsburgh NFC East: Dallas NFC North: Chicago NFC South: Tampa Bay NFC West: Seattle NFC Wildcard: Atlanta NFC Wildcard: Washington AFC Champion: Cincinnati NFC Champion: Dallas Super Bowl Champion: Dallas

posted by bperk at 10:02 AM on September 07, 2006

AFC East: New England AFC North: Cincinnati AFC South: Indianapolis AFC West: Denver AFC Wildcard: Miami AFC Wildcard: Pittsburgh NFC East: Dallas NFC North: Chicago NFC South: Carolina NFC West: Seattle NFC Wildcard: NY Giants NFC Wildcard: Arizona AFC Champion: Cincinatti NFC Champion: Carolina Super Bowl Champion: Cincinatti

posted by Mr Bismarck at 12:16 PM on September 07, 2006

Vince Lombardi will be dancing with Lord Stanley this coming February.

posted by NoMich at 12:58 PM on September 07, 2006

AFC East: Miami AFC North: Cincinnati AFC South: Indianapolis AFC West: Denver AFC Wildcard: Jacksonville AFC Wildcard: New England NFC East: Eagles NFC North: Chicago NFC South: Carolina NFC West: Seattle NFC Wildcard: New York Giants NFC Wildcard: Tampa Bay AFC Champion: Indy NFC Champion: Carolina Super Bowl Champion: Carolina

posted by Ufez Jones at 02:03 PM on September 07, 2006

Brett Favre will throw lots of interceptions. TO will get a penalty for excessive celebration. Chad Pennington will have shoulder problems. Denver will have a 1,000 yard running back.

posted by bperk at 02:19 PM on September 07, 2006

The Lions will play dismall yet again. Yukon's NFL Wildcard pick will be wrong. Matt Millen won't be fired.

posted by Ying Yang Mafia at 02:20 PM on September 07, 2006

Chad Pennington will have shoulder problems. Don't even joke about that. Besides, he was going to be my homer pick in the fantasy draft. Since I didn't get him, he will probably do well.

posted by MrFrisby at 02:31 PM on September 07, 2006

I'm a Jets fan too, Friz, but my prediction for the year is that Kellen Clemens will be the Jets' starting QB by week 10. They will win eight games, and finish second in the AFC East to the Patriots. The Colts will go 15-1, and will beat Cincinnati in the AFC title game before losing to the Chicago Bears in Super Bowl XXXXL. Tony Kornheiser will become enough of a sensation that he will appear as a guest on both the Daily Show and Countdown with Keith Olbermann. Joe Theismann, miraculously, will manage to not have an aneurysm over this, but it's not for lack of trying. Lindsay Lohan (currently dating the guy who owns the Pink Taco franchise that almost bought the naming rights to Arizona's stadium) will be seen with Matt Leinart at a Suns game. Much splashy drama will ensue. The Arizona Cardinals will go 5-11, and Kurt Warner will start all 16 games. Terry Glenn will lead the Cowboys in catches. By Week Six, Terrell Owens will not be starting for them anymore. Unlike the Eagles, though, Bill Parcells isn't going to cut him, instead making him suit up and shut up. This gambit will lead to a rift between Parcells & Jerry Jones, which will lead to a parting of the ways at the end of the season, which will come after the Cowboys' first playoff game, a loss at home against the wildcard Eagles. Willis McGahee will lead the league in rushing attempts, but will only average 2.8 yards per rush behind a Bills O-line that resembles a Paris runway model audition more than an NFL blocking brigade. Brett Favre will throw 23 interceptions this season, and then retire. For real. In the final episode of his little show, Stephen A. Smith will actually fellate Donovan McNabb on camera. The footage will be tastefully shot, with the angles chosen so as to not offend the sensors, but still.

posted by chicobangs at 03:02 PM on September 07, 2006

Don't even joke about that. Besides, he was going to be my homer pick in the fantasy draft. Since I didn't get him, he will probably do well. Hmm, I would be glad to take advantage of your homerism and trade him to you in a train robbery that would draw the ire of most of the league, but not enough to get the trade revoked. In the final episode of his little show, Stephen A. Smith will actually fellate Donovan McNabb on camera. The footage will be tastefully shot, with the angles chosen so as to not offend the sensors, but still. I'd be interested to see where you came up with that one. I'm Baseball Prospectus. I'd be glad to trade Chad away.

posted by Ying Yang Mafia at 03:14 PM on September 07, 2006

YYM, he's already come close to doing it on many occasions, on many different shows, of that you can be sure. It's not exactly the boldest of my predictions, there can be no doubt about that. Some roofies, a little M. Vanilli on the boombox, Girl you know it's true, that much is obvious, there can be no doubt about that, and then the next thing you know, it's rockets-red-glare time on Quite Frankly. Of that there can be no doubt, and even a blind man can see that it's patently obvious.

posted by chicobangs at 04:18 PM on September 07, 2006

I'm Baseball Prospectus. Damn you! Damn you to Hell! Detroit will win...some games.

posted by wingnut4life at 04:42 PM on September 07, 2006

These are my cellar picks: NFC North: Vikings NFC South: Saints NFC East: Cowboys NFC West: Cardinals AFC North: Ravens AFC South: Texans AFC East: Bills AFC West: Raiders

posted by apoch at 04:50 AM on September 08, 2006

I'd be interested to see where you came up with that one. Well, it's just the next natural step in the sort of man-love that SAS has for Chunky Mac. I know you're young, but surely you've had, y'know, the talk? Don't go freakin' out over the ageism, either, you damn punk. And get the hell off my lawn! AFC East: Patriots (@#$%&+!%@$) AFC North: Bengals AFC West: Chiefs AFC South: Colts AFC WILDCARD: Dolphins AFC WILDCARD: Steelers NFC East: Cowboys NFC North: Bears NFC West: Seahawks NFC South: Panthers NFC WILDCARD: Falcons NFC WILDCARD: Eagles AFC CHAMP: Bengals NFC CHAMP: Panthers SUPERBOWL CHAMP: Panthers Truth be told, I predicted the same All-Cat Superbowl last year, too.

posted by The_Black_Hand at 11:14 AM on September 09, 2006

Oh, jeez, I just prognosticated myself.

posted by The_Black_Hand at 11:14 AM on September 09, 2006

Don't go freakin' out over the ageism, either, you damn punk. And get the hell off my lawn! Not until I finish throwing all the eggs in this carton.

posted by Ying Yang Mafia at 12:39 PM on September 09, 2006

AFC East: Miami AFC North: Pittsburgh AFC South: Indianapolis AFC West: Denver AFC Wildcard: New England AFC Wildcard: Cincinnati NFC East: New York NFC North: Chicago NFC South: Carolina NFC West: Seattle NFC Wildcard: Cardinals NFC Wildcard: Washington AFC Champion: Denver NFC Champion: Washington Super Bowl Champion: Denver

posted by Kendall at 09:40 PM on September 09, 2006

No predictions here but I am very surprised to see several of you pick Miami to win the East after their inability to handle Batch and Co. And bperk, to not even have the Patriots as a wild card team, that I cannot agree with. @apoch: Cards over Niners for the NFC West cellar? Really?

posted by billsaysthis at 02:34 PM on September 10, 2006

billy, I must have had a brain fart and prognistiported back to the 1980's. Oh well, I'll stick by it even if I'm not sure I buy it anymore.

posted by apoch at 03:44 PM on September 10, 2006

I guess it's kind of cheating with a slate of games already played, but here goes: AFC East: New England AFC North: Cincinnati AFC South: Indianapolis AFC West: San Diego AFC Wildcard: Miami AFC Wildcard: Pittsburgh NFC East: Philadelphia NFC North: Chicago NFC South: Carolina NFC West: Seattle NFC Wildcard: St. Louis NFC Wildcard: New York Giants AFC Champion: Indianapolis NFC Champion: Chicago Super Bowl Champion: Chicago

posted by holden at 02:02 PM on September 11, 2006

Cheater.

posted by SummersEve at 03:59 PM on September 11, 2006

Tom Brady will write back to me and we will start to hang out a lot.

posted by yerfatma at 04:12 PM on September 11, 2006

Detroit to win the wildcard?? Good luck with that one.

posted by madcapper.sportakes.com at 05:40 PM on September 11, 2006

Hey, I called the Bears to win it all four days ago. After almost one full weekend, that pick is looking pretty good, eh? Eh? Eh?

posted by chicobangs at 05:41 PM on September 11, 2006

More predictions from me. The Lions will have a somewhat decent defense, but their offense will still suck. The Bears will again benefit from playing in the weak NFC North, thus becoming vastly overrated until their "magically inexplainable" collapse in the playoffs. Seattle will win the West since there is nobody else with the talent to do so. Charles Rogers will sign with the Dolphins then team up with Joey Harrington who will be starting in place of an injured Culpepper. They will then lead the Dolphins to a playoff berth and possibly the Super Bowl. And after all of that, Millen still won't be fired.

posted by Ying Yang Mafia at 06:01 PM on September 11, 2006

And after all of that, Millen still won't be fired. No but he will be burned in effigy.

posted by billsaysthis at 07:22 PM on September 11, 2006

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