January 02, 2003

SpoFi EPL Fantasy League WEEK 20 Leader: StarFucker! [full standings and trash talk inside]

posted by worldcup2002 to navel gazing at 01:11 PM - 44 comments

1. StarFucker 1471.78 2. apt820 1255.52 3. Fat Buddha 1232.19 (+1) 4. corpse 1219.79 (-1) 5. jasonbondshow 1148.74 (+1) 6. Trox 1144.49 (+2) 7. worldcup2002 1134.83 (-2) 8. elsoltano 1086.00 (-1) 9. pfuller 1064.53 (+1) 10. Drood 1056.48 (-1) 11. Mossy 1049.72 12. cory 886.26 13. eckeric 845.75 (+2) 14. BigCalm 844.71 (-1) 15. etagloh 767.07 (-1) 16. jipe 749.11 17. etrader9 393.09

posted by worldcup2002 at 01:39 PM on January 02, 2003

Happy New Year, Fantasy Leaguers! The busy year-end/new year has served up a flurry of changes all over the standings. Fat Buddha forced his way back into the top 3 with a thumping 151.14 pts, the top score for the week (and second-highest all-time). corpse got knocked into #4, but stays within striking distance, just 13 pts behind FB. Biggest movers: trox and eckeric, who both climbed 2 spots to #6 and #13 respectively. Biggest drop: Me, worldcup2002, dropping 2 spots to #7. Other notes of interest:

  • StarFucker chalked up another record-breaker during week 19 with the current top score of 175.77. Which explains why he's still no. 1.
  • etrader9, SF's buddy, has scored an average of almost 100 pts a week since he joined us four weeks ago. At this rate, he may break into the top 10 by February. This, from a guy who was 16 weeks late. He just might make good on his claim of catching up with the Fucker. (sometime in April?)
  • mossy and pfuller, our other latecomers (3 week disadvantage), are solidly mid-table. pfuller moved up 1 to #9 while mossy is firmly perched at #11.

posted by worldcup2002 at 02:16 PM on January 02, 2003

I feel like Arsenal...

posted by StarFucker at 09:26 PM on January 02, 2003

How can StarFucker have posted at 9:26PM PST when I'm reading his post, here in San Francisco, at 8:35PM? I knew it. SpoFi has a space-time continuum manipulatron.

posted by worldcup2002 at 10:35 PM on January 02, 2003


posted by worldcup2002 at 10:39 PM on January 02, 2003

Join me now as I conduct this interview live (albeit asynchronously, intermittently and without warning) with our beloved league leader, owner of team Blammos!, the questionably-named johnny_longdick, better known at SpoFi as StarFucker.

posted by worldcup2002 at 10:43 PM on January 02, 2003

SF, here's the interview you asked for. I'm going to throw out 10 questions in a Q & A format. I'll wait for your answer (1 post per answer) before I ask the next question. I will stop at question 10, and people can add questions, if they want. Let's get started: SF, while I've had the pleasure of being the first leader of the Fantasy League, you've taken over in weeks 4, 6, 7, 10 and every bloody week since then. To what do you attribute this dominating performance? (Here it comes, folks.)

posted by worldcup2002 at 10:54 PM on January 02, 2003

Well....I would have to atttibute it to my ability to recognize talent. I watch the matches, I observe the players...I have a great eye for it. Some of it also has to do with the matchups. If Birmingham is playing Manchester United at Old Trafford, I expect Man U to win...by at least a few goals. So I pick up Van Nistelrooy...unfortunately, he was injured this week and didn't play...but you get the idea. Also, I am incredibly good looking...

posted by StarFucker at 01:05 AM on January 03, 2003

...and incredibly modest too...

posted by BigCalm at 02:45 AM on January 03, 2003

Q2. Because we haven't met, I'm not sure we can substantiate your claim to good looks. Perhaps you can tell us more about yourself, what you look like (this is for the, er, ladies out there), your beginnings, how you got to be the fine young man you are today, and what you're involved in now.

posted by worldcup2002 at 08:29 AM on January 03, 2003

I'm 34 years old, i have blonde hair and blue eyes...i'm 5 foot 10 and 170 pounds of pure muscle. Well, some muscle... I have been playing football since 7th grade... By the time i got to high school i was pretty damn good. My freshman year i was starting for the Varsity team and scoring 2 goals a game. I had quite a future ahead of me. Looking back...i could have made the US National Team for sure and probably playing for some of the top European teams even up till now at age 34. Unfortunately, i didn't have very good supervision...my parents had no control over my behavior and i slowly but surely gave up on soccer and on high school itself. I played in college and on and off AFTER college. For the last 2 years i started my own team. I coach and play. We play indoor and outdoor. This spring we are going to play in a more competitive league...with a 1st and 2nd division. If we finish the season in first or second place we get promoted to the first division. I guess this first division actually plays against some semi pro and pro teams in tournaments. Some even get to play in the US Open Cup Tournament. That would be something if my team made it that far. I play striker...yes, i am still that fast. I have 6 goals so far this indoor season. 3rd most on my team. But the other strikers are 20 years old. They SHOULD be scoring more. Last season i played attacking midfielder, but since i moved to a pure attacking role, we seem to be doing better as a team. We are winning more anyway. I have a full time job at one of the big five accounting firms...well, now there are only 4. And i hate it...but i hate ANY job... I hope to win the Lotto so i could buy a first division football club in Europe. Whew, that was quite long.

posted by StarFucker at 01:53 PM on January 03, 2003

That was a very engaging response. From your usual ranting comments, I'd pegged you for a zippy college sophomore or junior. But the Big Five thing, wow. If you're a CPA, you've surely contradicted the "boring" stereotype. And your soccer playing story is impressive. Q3. So, how do you find the time to do all these things: work, coach and play in two leagues, play two fantasy leagues and most important, annoy us all at SpoFi? Are you married? Have kids? Do you have a girlfriend? Boyfriend?

posted by worldcup2002 at 02:29 PM on January 03, 2003

How do i find the time? Lets just say i am always tired... Never married...engaged once. Engaged to be engaged another time. I don't THINK i have any kids...but who knows, there might be some little StarFuckers out there without my knowledge...i have done more than my share of shagging bitches... No girlfriend at this time, though i do have a few fuck friends... I'm not a CPA...i work in the technology department. I test software, fix problems with other people's computers...i'm an all around tech guy. Wish i knew more about networks though.

posted by StarFucker at 03:49 PM on January 03, 2003

SF, I begin to think that perhaps you do have real reasons to back up your nicknames. [pause, uneasy shuffle] Q4. But here's the big question. You and I are the only Liverpool fans in the SpoFi League, maybe in the whole SpoFi. How did you come to love the Reds? Tell me your conversion story.

posted by worldcup2002 at 04:09 PM on January 03, 2003

[ fascinating...awaiting answer... ]

posted by BigCalm at 04:48 PM on January 03, 2003

I came to "love" the Reds when Dudek came to Liverpool. I have had FoxSportsWorld for about 3 years now so i get to see the Premiership games alot. Also, FSW used to have the Dutch League and the Italian League. The Italian League was my favorite. And Lazio is my favorite team in the Serie A. I got to like Liverpool because i always liked Michael Owen. I liked Dudek because of watching him at Feyenoord. Then when Dudek came to Liverpool, it was only natural for Liverpool to then become my favorite team. There never really was a conversion, so to speak... as i was naturally drawn to Liverpool from the beginning. My other favorite teams in the Premiership are Everton, Newcastle and lately Leeds has been impressing me, even though they aren't impressing very much in the League as of late. Chelsea are okay...Tottenham don't bother me. I always liked West Ham. Teams that i like to see lose are Birmingham, Manchester City and Arsenal. I am a bit confused by Manchester United. I don't like how smug they have been, but they have been replaced by Arsenal as the team I love to hate. And Arsene Wenger is just so fucking annoying to listen to. His team is never at fault...and even when they lose he blames it on the ref or some other factor...but never that they played like shit. So Liverpool are still my favorite team, but if they keep fucking Dudek...and keep playing Heskey, Carragher and Murphy...i may switch allegiances.

posted by StarFucker at 01:51 PM on January 04, 2003

Starfucker old chap, are you extracting the urine? How the hell can you have more than one favourite team? and how the hell can you love Liverpool without hating Everton?...it just aint rational, dude.

posted by Fat Buddha at 05:56 PM on January 04, 2003

No i'n not "extracting the urine". I live in Chicago so i don't really understand the intense rivalry that exists between Everton and Liverpool.

posted by StarFucker at 08:06 PM on January 04, 2003

Q5. You've made no bones about your predilection for porn, booze, soccer, video games and porn. What is your favorite porn site?

posted by worldcup2002 at 12:46 PM on January 05, 2003

This is actually quite cool (StarFuckers ego non-withstanding ;) ). You should do a column periodically, wc2k2, where you e-mail a random active member and have it put on the sidebar (via e-mail, i'm thinking). But not exclusive to the footie fans around here. I'm thinking next time: rcade or owillis.

posted by Ufez Jones at 09:38 PM on January 05, 2003

uh, redundant e-mail inference NOT-withstanding as well. Sheesh.

posted by Ufez Jones at 09:38 PM on January 05, 2003

Actually...I don't have a favorite porn website. I subscribe to this site called Easynews. They take everything that is uploaded to newsgroups and categorize it. They also take large files that are usually split up on news servers and put them together for you. So instead of downloading an mp3 or mpeg file that is in 190 parts, they put it into one file so all you have to do is download the one file. Its 10 bucks a month for 6 gigs. Well worth it. There I get all the porn, mp3s, and music videos i could ever need. And I gotta tell ya, there are some sick fucks out there...i have seen just about everything...

posted by StarFucker at 08:32 AM on January 06, 2003

Q6. That's a great service. Never heard of it. Now, what's your favorite booze?

posted by worldcup2002 at 09:11 AM on January 06, 2003

Hmm...booze or beer? Cause i like both... My usual booze is Glenlivet, either 12 or 18 year old. My usual beers are Carlsberg (because of LFC), Guinness and these Polish beers called Okocim and Zywiec. The last 2 being my favorite, but I can't find them readily available unless i go to the Polish Bars in the city. And let me tell you...i am not a casual drinker...when i go out, i get hammered.

posted by StarFucker at 09:29 AM on January 06, 2003

Q7. Are you Irish?

posted by worldcup2002 at 11:45 AM on January 06, 2003


posted by StarFucker at 12:51 PM on January 06, 2003

Q8. What's so great about FIFA 2003? My last experience with it was FIFA 2000. What are the improvements since then?

posted by worldcup2002 at 01:57 PM on January 06, 2003

GOOD GOD MAN!! You've got to get with the program! FIFA 2003 for PS2 is simply the most realistic sports game i have ever played! It takes some getting used to. But the through passes and crosses are VERY realistic, in that they aren't as easy anymore but take work. I have FIFA 2003 for my PC but I haven't installed it yet. I think you all should get a copy and we should play online. I'm willing to bet I could kick all your asses at that too!

posted by StarFucker at 02:49 PM on January 06, 2003

Q9. Hey, don't get ahead of yourself. Your "kick your ass" comment brings us back full circle to the Fantasy League. We know the Yahoo! league sucks with its slow and unpredictable updates. You've been very enthusiastic about the Fantasy League over at Soccernet. Do you think you could beat us there, too? How are you doing over there? It's a for-pay site, isn't it? Would you recommend we switch over for next season? Why?

posted by worldcup2002 at 04:03 PM on January 06, 2003

Actually...now that I have been playing with the Yahoo league for a while, I really like it. The soccernet is more for die hard soccer fans. It costs about 16 dollars or so. The scoring is different, and you only get 20 transfers the whole season, so you really have to think about the team you are choosing. Etrader9 and some friends of ours are going to participate in the Soccernet Professional Fantasy League next year. That one costs about 40 bucks and we will be holding a draft because in that league no 2 teams can have the same player. But we are also going to do the traditional Soccernet league and this Yahoo one. Here is the url to my team again in case anyone wants to see it. http://classic.fantasyleague.com/app/team/team.asp?team=810783 I have made some changes to it since last time. We are going to have more people on the Yahoo league next year if you guys here at Sportsfilter do it. I have about 10 friends that want to be a part of it. As far as recommending it...i really don't know. I think if you really like the Premiership and you really like Fantasy Soccer...then let me know when this season wraps up. I like it enough to do it again next year. But this Yahoo one ain't bad.

posted by StarFucker at 04:21 PM on January 06, 2003

Aw shucks. Well, yeah, I guess we can do it again next year, esp. if we get 10 more of your buddies! But only if you promise to come back. Q10. So, here's your chance to end this interview in a blaze of glory. Do you really think you can hold on to #1 to win? Who do you think will come closest to knocking you out of top spot? And what's up with etrader9? How'd you convince him to join up, 16 weeks after everyone else?

posted by worldcup2002 at 05:38 PM on January 06, 2003

Well...i really think i CAN hold on to the top spot for the rest of the season. The way things have been going, i don't really see a challenger. The real fight seems to be for second and third place. How many more weeks are there anyway? 15? 18? I think 18. And i have held on to first place for how many weeks? 15...16? I don't think i should be worried. Especially now that I have the biggest lead i have ever had. As far as etrader9 goes, he's just a friend of mine...he plays on my B-team on indoor and outdoor. He hopes to be an assistant coach in our new outdoor league this year. It was easy to talk him into playing as he likes the fantasy sports thing. He really doesn't think he can pass me up, but he likes talking shit more than anything. Right now he is in last place in our Soccernet League...still, that doesn't keep him from talking shit. The other guy that joined up and then left, BABG...he is on my A-team and B-team...but he is a bit too busy to keep track of 2 fantasy teams i guess. Plus, he wasn't as enthused as etrader9 about being able to catch up to me. Currently, he is in first place in our Soccernet league. So...i wish everyone luck. Second place will be the area to watch for excitement in my opinion. I hope i'm right about that. I would NOT want to have to deal with comments from everyone in the league if i ever should lose top spot.

posted by StarFucker at 08:22 AM on January 07, 2003

Ahh, and that's what we're all hoping for, that's what we're all hoping for ... Well, thank you, SF, for your candid responses. I think we've all enjoyed putting some stories to the nickname, a little more life to all your ranting comments. All the best in your real and fantasy league games. (Now, somebody, please beat this guy!)

posted by worldcup2002 at 09:24 AM on January 07, 2003

I am very disappointed in the reaction to my interview.

posted by StarFucker at 08:28 AM on January 09, 2003

We were hoping (at least, I think we were at the start of the interview) that you (SF) would prove yourself to be the weenie that we had assumed you were. However, you have redeemed yourself! I've cast my prior suspicions aside, and may I wish you the very best of luck in the Fantasy League - not that you seem to need it. On a side note, it seems like a good idea to do this style interview Q/A with other active members - go with Ufez's suggestion.

posted by BigCalm at 08:45 AM on January 09, 2003

Thank you for the compliment? I had no idea that i was considered a weenie...! Ufez's suggestion is a good one, so when are you getting started Worldcup?

posted by StarFucker at 10:13 AM on January 09, 2003

I liked the interview as well, I thought it was entertaining. For me it served to humanize the evil, evil entity that is StarFucker and allows me to not hate him for kicking the crap out of us in Fantasy League every week. (I'm still secretly envious though) I would definitely enjoy reading more of these interviews worldcup. You and StarFucker have both done quite well.

posted by pfuller at 12:51 PM on January 09, 2003

StarFucker did nothing! All he had to do was recount his life stories in answer to my brilliantly-constructed questions. But, as we have learned, he really is a nice guy.

posted by worldcup2002 at 01:06 PM on January 09, 2003

My only problem with StarFucker is his username. Not that I have a problem with it, but the wife will occasionally look over my shoulder and wonder "Who's the guy with the crude name? Is he 10 years old or something?" Now I finally have an answer to that question! Thanks wc2k2 and starfucker !

posted by grum@work at 03:49 PM on January 09, 2003

You guys crack me up... And i am NOT a nice guy...nice guys don't get chicks.

posted by StarFucker at 04:02 PM on January 09, 2003

Given that his other nickname is johnny_longdick, I'm somewhat thankful for his more-creative monicker here. I'm sure his real name is something terribly enervating like Wendell Binglesworth St. John-Smythe III. And tell your wife to go back in the kitchen and get you another cold one.

posted by worldcup2002 at 04:02 PM on January 09, 2003

I did think the other day that it would be good to reverse all usernames for a week. So, BigCalm becomes LittleStorm, grum@work becomes murg@home, FatBuddha becomes erm, ThinConfusion. And the best bit? starfucker becomes UnknownAndImpotent.... *giggle*, I don't mean it really SF.

posted by BigCalm at 05:21 PM on January 09, 2003

LittleStorm, that was great. signed, Zefu Smith.

posted by Ufez Jones at 11:40 PM on January 09, 2003

Unknown and Impotent?! I like a more synonymous change...something like...GalaxyFornicator...

posted by StarFucker at 08:32 AM on January 10, 2003

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