November 17, 2006

More muscle magic.: Following on the tail of my last muscle-bound post comes this news that Dartmouth researchers have discovered a gene that enhances muscle performance. "Like a trained athlete, this [genetically-enhanced] mouse enjoyed increased capacity to exercise, manifested by its ability to run three times longer than a normal mouse before exhaustion. One particularly striking feature of the finding was the accumulation of muscle glycogen, the stored form of carbohydrates—what many athletes seek by "carbo-loading" before an event or game."

posted by worldcup2002 to extreme at 12:14 AM - 12 comments

I'm in re-runs right now... Helping fight disease = YAY! Cheating bastards in sport = WANKERS! Only joking, but that was a popular comment it seems...:) Now the previous story has medical benefits. Would this have the same benefits for, say, muscular dystrophy? It saddens me to think that some day, cheating will be done on a genetic level. You test someone now, it's fairly easy to detect that they've been pumping themselves full of horse tranquilizers and enough steroids to flatten Tokyo. How the hell do you test people who've been modified at the genetic level? Even if you can, there's the argument that could be made, "they were born that way"... Sport really is fucked, isn't it?..

posted by Drood at 03:18 AM on November 17, 2006

and to think they treat pete rose like a murderer. they should test 100 percent every week and throw out the offenders permanently. but then , i guess, there would be no yankees.

posted by jarhd827 at 05:18 AM on November 17, 2006

Screw the implications to sports - I want these meta powers so I can run 30 MPH and pick up cars. Look, I promise I'll use them for good, not evil... Okay, mostly good.... Well, probably more like: 73% good, 12% mischief and 5% evil. It's a fair ratio.

posted by WeedyMcSmokey at 07:49 AM on November 17, 2006

Um, Weedy, you're missing 10% there. Is that the tax on your deeds, or is that the 5% evil being ........well..........., evil, and actually hiding something on us?

posted by tommybiden at 09:38 AM on November 17, 2006

Whoops. That's a case of the Fridays. Okay - the extra 10% is for unnecessary displays of speed/strength. Like picking up cars. Mischief would be picking up cars and re-parking them... On top of one another.

posted by WeedyMcSmokey at 10:55 AM on November 17, 2006

Or... You could become a "Man of Muscle Mystery".

posted by lilnemo at 01:01 PM on November 17, 2006

Drood: Per your question re: medical benefits of this discovery, the article says: "They [the researchers] say that this finding could someday lead to treatment for muscle diseases, including helping the elderly who suffer from muscle deterioration and improving muscle performance in endurance athletes." Those wily scientists, playing on the heartstrings of old folks and their families, and giving a wink and nod to the athletes. "Muscle performance." Nice, heh.

posted by worldcup2002 at 01:10 PM on November 17, 2006

Well, I just can't see what purpose it serves to have all these mice with super-powers. Before too long they'll all want equal rights and library cards. But parking cars one on top of the other would seem to have it's advantages.

posted by THX-1138 at 02:14 PM on November 17, 2006

What ever happened to the old days we took our brewers yeast or amino acid pills and we lifted weights three times a week. Now every one wants to get an advantage I for one am getting sick of it

posted by luther70 at 02:53 PM on November 17, 2006

"... And I for one welcome our new musclebound mice overlords." I'll admit I didn't read the article as I posted right before going to bed, so thanks WC2002. Weedy: I like it:) I agree with jar. Test 'em all. If they're positive, kick 'em from the sport forever. (I don't like Pete Rose, but yeah, what he did isn't as bad as Bonds etc...) If there's no Yankee's... Well that's their fault for hiring cheating bastards then isn't it. This is why I've given up on MLB after just two seasons. (I love baseball, the sport, have done for two decades now, but only started watching the majors in 2004, and due to the likes of Bonds etc... Gave up in 2005.) I know the likes of Selig go with the "chicks dig the long ball" nonsense, but I think if they took an extremely hard line on drugs, I think they'd probably win back a sizeable chunk of people who don't watch because they don't know if the guys they're watching are 'roided to the hilts. Not that they ever will. Just like with any people making money, they only consider change when they stop making it.

posted by Drood at 02:54 PM on November 17, 2006

What ever happened to the old days we took our brewers yeast or amino acid pills and we lifted weights three times a week. And amphetamines! How come we can't just stick to taking amphetamines! I don't like Pete Rose, but yeah, what he did isn't as bad as Bonds etc... Ugh. Rose = broke the most important rule in all of baseball, the one that is posted in every single goddamn locker room, the one that protects the integrity of the sport from backsliding into the corruptible times of 1900-1920, when games were being thrown almost every week. His actions were in no way an attempt to help his team and were strictly a way to help himself. At first he denied then admitted to breaking the rule, but only after first lying to all his fans and then milking it for financial gain when the opportunity arose. Bonds = may have been one of many players to take performance enhancing drugs in order to perform better in the game. Please explain how what Bonds did was worse than what Rose did...

posted by grum@work at 06:11 PM on November 17, 2006

Right, grum. It's not even close. What all the steroid users have done is the same thing baseball players have been doing for eons - they cheated in order to win. We know that thousands of major league players have been taking performance enhancing drugs since World War II, and that some did even before then (such as Pud Galvin's use of steroids to improve his performance in the 19th century). And we know that almost every player breaks the rules in some way in order to help his team winning. And in reality baseball culture has always endorsed this cheating. If cheating wasn't endorsed, Gaylord Perry, who bragged about his cheating long before his career was over, wouldn't be in the Hall of Fame, and books such as Gutman's "It Ain't Cheating If You Don't Get Caught" wouldn't be written in celebration of baseball cheating Rose placed himself above the game by putting himself in a situation where he had reason not to play - or at least manage - to win. That's the single worst thing you can do to baseball. Betting on individual baseball games in your own league creates situations that inevitably lead to conflicts of interest. What Rose did was far, far worse than any cheating could ever be. His actions were a direct threat to the legitimacy of baseball by suggesting that baseball might be on the road to becoming professional wrestling - a sport where winning is not a priority. Baseball would disappear if fans ever began to believe that what they were watching was at all fake. The "crime" that steroid users and other cheaters commit is a crime of being too competitive. That's a minor problem compared to not being competitive. For baseball, the suggestion that a player might be throwing games is a far worse problem than even a team of serial killers would be, let alone steroid users.

posted by spira at 04:10 PM on November 23, 2006

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