11/05/24
September 07, 2005
The Hoser Picks NFL Week 1: NFL point-spread predictions with a truckload of salt. Brought to you by sportsfilter's own wfrazerjr.
Great Job!
posted by daddisamm at 11:13 PM on September 07, 2005
Dallas at SAN DIEGO (-4.5): Anyone else expect the Chargers to fall flat this season? Dallas 23, San Diego 21. Please, oh please be right.
posted by justgary at 11:25 PM on September 07, 2005
I see you have Arizona taking out the Giants this week. With Green at the helm, I am just getting some really good "vibes" about the Cards. I see them winning thier division.
posted by daddisamm at 11:34 PM on September 07, 2005
Ummmm, nice column, though woefully incomplete! Is there only 15 games this week? Thought there was 32 NFL teams. 32 (number of NFL teams) divided by 2 (since you need two teams to play against each other for a game) = 16 (total number of games) Hint: One team has been around since AFL days, wears Red, White and Blue and has lost 4 Super Bowls in a row. The second team is an upstart francise with a crap load of people from Louisianna (it's a State not a city) living in it's stadium. Nice column anyways, if I wasn't so offended about you missing my 4 losses in a row Super Bowl team.
posted by Stealth_72 at 05:23 AM on September 08, 2005
Oops! I was writing on my blog first and forgot to paste the Bills in. Trust me, I can't forget them -- my customers are always asking for Jim Kelly/Thurman Thomas stuff! Houston at BUFFALO (-5): That collective sign of relief you heard during the offseason was from Bills fans happy to dump the whining machine that is Travis Henry. JP still looks a little lost, but Buffalo will get 30 of the same strokes from Willis and win easily. Buffalo 29, Houston 16. Pantheon, if you want to edit that in to the original, help yourself.
posted by wfrazerjr at 06:52 AM on September 08, 2005
Get up, walk to your closet and pull out five things you'll never wear again. Now go donate them to the Red Cross so they can be sent to the victims of Hurricane Katrina. I did, and those poor people will have no idea what hit them - 'teal on pink?!?' 'No thanks, I'll stick to the swaddling rags..... 'Are those Zoobaz pants featuring the Cincinnati Bengals?' Nice column Fraze - now I want to see it every week until the end of January.
posted by WeedyMcSmokey at 07:59 AM on September 08, 2005
Ahhh, thank you very much. You the man!!! (helped that you pick the Bills to win) btw, what kind of Jim Kelly, Thurman Thomas stuff you have?
posted by Stealth_72 at 08:00 AM on September 08, 2005
come on oakland show us fans you can puul it off against the over rated pats.
posted by footballfan at 05:42 PM on September 08, 2005
I'm not going to comment about the accuracy of your picks, because I'm more or less retarded when it comes to any sport outside of Hockey. I will say that you're a really funny dude, however. Keep 'em coming.
posted by Samsonov14 at 06:12 PM on September 08, 2005
"pcisk" = "picks". So maybe retarded was a bit harsh, but dyslexic isn't far from the mark. Kinda wish I'd kept my mouth shut about that "Spofi editor" feature being useless now.
posted by Samsonov14 at 06:16 PM on September 08, 2005
Thanks for the nice comments, folks. My wife and I emptied our closets this week and we're taking all our stuff to the Red Cross tomorrow morning. I can see the questions also, Weedy -- "What the hell is ECW? Who is Dancin' Stevie Richards?" Stealth, right now I just have auto'd 8x10s of the pair and an official NFL football signed by Kelly. I do get 16x20 and other things (mini and full-sized auto helmets, for one).
posted by wfrazerjr at 08:59 PM on September 08, 2005
I heard the Red Cross is NOT accepting clothes.
posted by dusted at 12:34 AM on September 09, 2005
Against the spread, Week One: 9-7. Straight up, Week One: 5-11. Is that possible? 5-11 straight up and 9-7 ATS?!? Lock of the Week: 0-1. Trifecta: 0-1.
posted by wfrazerjr at 10:05 AM on September 13, 2005
Your bookie just loves you doesn't he?
posted by jojomfd1 at 01:27 PM on September 13, 2005
HaHaHa! Just Kidding. That was a brutal week one, with all of those non playoff teams from last year pulling off wins over some playoff teams. Wierd week one thats for sure.
posted by jojomfd1 at 01:29 PM on September 13, 2005
Fraze, even here in Niner Country not two people would have disagreed with your lock of the week--Rams were flat and 49ers were ready to run. Let's see next week how the teams do.
posted by billsaysthis at 03:17 PM on September 13, 2005
Well, Jojo, assuming a play of $100 on each spread, 9-7 equals $900 - $700 = $200 to the good. Subtract the 10% juice and I'm up $40. And c'mon, even I'm not stupid enough to play my own locks.
posted by wfrazerjr at 08:29 AM on September 14, 2005
But, tell ya what -- to make it interesting, we'll assume this for the remainder of the season: $100 on each ATS $300 on the Lock of the Week $100 on the Trifecta (which pays at 6:1) That works out to an even two grand per week, which is easier for me to figure out. At this point, if you were betting with me, you'd be, uhhh ... *gets pencil and paper* ... down $400. So maybe my bookie owes me a cookie basket. New picks up on my blog and here later this afternoon.
posted by wfrazerjr at 08:35 AM on September 14, 2005
Very entertaining, well written. Will be looking foreward to the rest of the seasons Hoser Picks. Thanks wfrazerjr!!!