April 28, 2005

He would make a great Dr. Phil bootcamp leader.

posted by dfleming at 02:47 PM on April 28, 2005

I just ran 20 laps around my office.

posted by 86 at 03:38 PM on April 28, 2005

what's the worst you've ever either had a coach do to you High school. Golf team. I was easily the worst player on the team, and Coach picked me to be one of six on the JV squad for a meet. The three other guys I played against absolutely humiliated me on the links. I was terrible. But who laughed last? They never signed the scorecard, so on a technicality, I was the victor! Still, all these years later, I realize that making me go to that meet was punishment for getting high on the back nine at practice every day and not ever hitting the driving range.

posted by rocketman at 03:46 PM on April 28, 2005

Our wrestling coach was really good at his job, but was a total prick. Somehow he made you want to be on his good side, even while you knew you should hate him for all the yelling and the intimidation. He once slammed this kid Josh up against a wall in the hallway, challenging him to a fight. "You think you can kick my ass, pussy?" That sort of thing. I don't recall what set him off, but none of the kids except Josh really freaked out too much, because we all knew Coach went batshit occasionally. He was a big dude, too, and his face would swell up and turn red when he got pissed. During my Junior year he called me in to his office to tell me to stop talking about dropping weight when I wasn't "in a team environment", because "people who don't wrestle don't understand" that sort of thing. This was only about a week after I'd been pressured to drop to 103, so that we could have a "complete team." At this point I was wrestling at 112. My normal weight was around 120, and I was a pretty skinny kid to begin with. The reason they wanted me to drop from 112 to 103 is so that the coach's son could wrestle at 112. Coach was an asshole. I did really well that year at 103, and I wasn't all that upset about having to drop all that weight at the time, but looking back on it 15 years later, I would have much rather refused to drop the extra weight, kicked his son's ass at 112, and been able to eat some food now and again and not wear a rubber suit while running laps the morning before a weigh-in. I might not have done as well at States, but fuckit. When I was in college, I came back home to hear that Coach had been fired. He was also one of three guidance counselors at our high school, and his youngest daughter had been refused admittance into a really good school (Williams or Amherst or some such). It turns out that he'd fudged her grades to make her transcript more impressive, and had been discovered. Coach's tinkering bumped his daughter three spots up on the graduation rankings in her class. The real pisser is that the daughter was the only really nice person in the family, had no knowledge of what her dad had done, and he only bumped her up from 4th to 1st in the class. Would it really have made that big a difference to the admissions staff? I still feel bad for his daughter, but I have to admit that his public humiliation made me smile. It almost makes up for all of the young wrestlers that he bullied and intimidated.

posted by Samsonov14 at 04:41 PM on April 28, 2005

Soz. Forgot the crap link.

posted by squealy at 06:32 PM on April 28, 2005

Today (April 29th) is Lee Elia Day. Once the assistant soccer coach on my U-14 team tore us a new one after we lost a scrimmage to a U-12 team. He was one of the kids' dads and I think probably an alcoholic. It was pretty ugly.

posted by mbd1 at 12:37 PM on April 29, 2005

Oh jeez, mayerkyl. Where were you a few years ago when my Knight/Indiana lovin' friend was trying to shove his over-rated ass down my throat? That clip was indeed priceless. Thanks.

posted by gac at 01:41 PM on April 29, 2005

Sounds like a great coach, mayerkyl! I love the paper advice.

posted by dusted at 06:39 PM on April 29, 2005