April 28, 2005

Classic Rock: An oldy but a goodie. Bob Knight goes postal.

posted by mayerkyl to culture at 01:37 PM - 16 comments

Whoa. I was uncomfortable just listening to that on my computer. Can't imagine how the team felt.

posted by Samsonov14 at 02:46 PM on April 28, 2005

He would make a great Dr. Phil bootcamp leader.

posted by dfleming at 02:47 PM on April 28, 2005

Jesus, none of you who had a high-school coach who motivated in that fashion? Hell, in sixth grade after a bad practice, the football coach made us all hold hands and run around the field in front of our parents. I still can't believe none of them told him to knock it off. Of course, I told him he was a cocksucker to his face a few years ago, and he still remembered doing it, so I guess he knew he was wrong. Worked, though ... we beat the shit out of each other the next night. Which brings me to ... what's the worst you've ever either had a coach do to you, or just seen a coach do? Any level is acceptable, but horror stories of Little League dictators are preferred.

posted by wfrazerjr at 03:33 PM on April 28, 2005

I just ran 20 laps around my office.

posted by 86 at 03:38 PM on April 28, 2005

Oh, and that clip should be the new Purdue fight song.

posted by 86 at 03:38 PM on April 28, 2005

what's the worst you've ever either had a coach do to you High school. Golf team. I was easily the worst player on the team, and Coach picked me to be one of six on the JV squad for a meet. The three other guys I played against absolutely humiliated me on the links. I was terrible. But who laughed last? They never signed the scorecard, so on a technicality, I was the victor! Still, all these years later, I realize that making me go to that meet was punishment for getting high on the back nine at practice every day and not ever hitting the driving range.

posted by rocketman at 03:46 PM on April 28, 2005

Ugh. I went to Catholic schools. Discipline-wise, the coaches had nothing on the nuns. Or the priests...

posted by vito90 at 04:34 PM on April 28, 2005

Our wrestling coach was really good at his job, but was a total prick. Somehow he made you want to be on his good side, even while you knew you should hate him for all the yelling and the intimidation. He once slammed this kid Josh up against a wall in the hallway, challenging him to a fight. "You think you can kick my ass, pussy?" That sort of thing. I don't recall what set him off, but none of the kids except Josh really freaked out too much, because we all knew Coach went batshit occasionally. He was a big dude, too, and his face would swell up and turn red when he got pissed. During my Junior year he called me in to his office to tell me to stop talking about dropping weight when I wasn't "in a team environment", because "people who don't wrestle don't understand" that sort of thing. This was only about a week after I'd been pressured to drop to 103, so that we could have a "complete team." At this point I was wrestling at 112. My normal weight was around 120, and I was a pretty skinny kid to begin with. The reason they wanted me to drop from 112 to 103 is so that the coach's son could wrestle at 112. Coach was an asshole. I did really well that year at 103, and I wasn't all that upset about having to drop all that weight at the time, but looking back on it 15 years later, I would have much rather refused to drop the extra weight, kicked his son's ass at 112, and been able to eat some food now and again and not wear a rubber suit while running laps the morning before a weigh-in. I might not have done as well at States, but fuckit. When I was in college, I came back home to hear that Coach had been fired. He was also one of three guidance counselors at our high school, and his youngest daughter had been refused admittance into a really good school (Williams or Amherst or some such). It turns out that he'd fudged her grades to make her transcript more impressive, and had been discovered. Coach's tinkering bumped his daughter three spots up on the graduation rankings in her class. The real pisser is that the daughter was the only really nice person in the family, had no knowledge of what her dad had done, and he only bumped her up from 4th to 1st in the class. Would it really have made that big a difference to the admissions staff? I still feel bad for his daughter, but I have to admit that his public humiliation made me smile. It almost makes up for all of the young wrestlers that he bullied and intimidated.

posted by Samsonov14 at 04:41 PM on April 28, 2005

Good stuff. Reminded me of Barry Fry. Not that anyone will know who he is.

posted by squealy at 06:25 PM on April 28, 2005

Soz. Forgot the crap link.

posted by squealy at 06:32 PM on April 28, 2005

This is even better.

posted by mayerkyl at 09:13 AM on April 29, 2005

Today (April 29th) is Lee Elia Day. Once the assistant soccer coach on my U-14 team tore us a new one after we lost a scrimmage to a U-12 team. He was one of the kids' dads and I think probably an alcoholic. It was pretty ugly.

posted by mbd1 at 12:37 PM on April 29, 2005

The worst thing a coach ever did to me was make me run the 400. Actually, that was the worst thing that my coach ever did to me. The worst thing that a coach ever did -- and it wasn't just to me -- was to go on a rant about how Title IX was totally stupid because girls were never gonna be good enough to make the baseball team or do anything else worthwhile in sports. There were more holes than substance to his reasoning, but 16-year-old kids don't know that; they just know that they're being told that they're weak and worthless, and always will be.

posted by lil_brown_bat at 01:35 PM on April 29, 2005

Oh jeez, mayerkyl. Where were you a few years ago when my Knight/Indiana lovin' friend was trying to shove his over-rated ass down my throat? That clip was indeed priceless. Thanks.

posted by gac at 01:41 PM on April 29, 2005

I think Lee Elia was 85% correct and 15% bipolar. My worst(funniest) coach experience: A coach once asked us to write a paper about our goals for the upcoming season. Someone asked how long the paper should be. Coach said "Papers should be like a girl's skirt, long enough to cover the subject, short enough to keep it interesting." Advice that I still follow. Same coach, different day: "Hey coach, can I get a pop before practice." "I'll give ya a pop." Proceeds to punch me in the shoulder, his version of "a pop." "Hey coach, can I get a slurpee?" "Start runnin!!!"

posted by mayerkyl at 01:47 PM on April 29, 2005

Sounds like a great coach, mayerkyl! I love the paper advice.

posted by dusted at 06:39 PM on April 29, 2005

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