October 08, 2003

R U ready for some Hockey!: How about some Shania? (I still can't believe Timmins spawned such a creation.) Tonight marks the opening of the NHL 03-04 Season, and this year should not disappoint. From penny-pinching GMs and money-hungry stars to forgotten and missed veterans, from pad regulation to rule tweaking, from avoidable catastrophes to unavoidable labo(u)r impasses, the upcoming campaign is primed to ages.

posted by garfield to hockey at 01:13 PM - 22 comments

garfield, your plea is certainly refreshing if a bit mysterious... are you also a native of Timmins? Piling on even further, Jim Belushi is sooooo lucky his brother died when he did because I'm sure he would have had the career of, say, Frank Stallone otherwise. Having just enough rhythm and comic timing to say "Wacka do wacka do wacka do" well does not make him funny. I'm surprised they didn't get Michael Fox for the spots. But they do sound like a good idea, I like the ones FSW uses for association football.

posted by billsaysthis at 01:33 PM on October 08, 2003

OK, everyone sing along with me... "It's the most....wonderful time...of the year...."

posted by MeatSaber at 01:49 PM on October 08, 2003

I'm assuming the NHL has done some research on this, but do people really not watch hockey because they don't know the rules? I think it's more a problem that hockey just doesn't 'work' well on TV. The fact that the players are all covered up so you can't easily tell who is who (unlike basketball or baseball), and it's a fast pasted game that has revolves around the location of a very small black disk turns most casual viewers off. Until someone comes up with a radically new technique for televising hockey games this isn't ever going to change. Aside from a glowing puck of course. I actually thought the Fox 'glowing' puck was a really good idea for new viewers, but it drove me nuts. When I try to explain the rules to someone the biggest problem I run into is the lack of consistency in the rules being followed. Obviously hooking, holding, interference are the first things that come to mind. But even little things like the face-offs (all those lines they paint on the ice are 'guidelines' I guess), and line changes (technically the player your replacing has to be 'close' to the bench). Sure other sports have similar issues, but not on the same level hockey does. It almost as is the rules are really rules, but rather suggestions. No wonder some people think it's complicated. Of couse for those of us who love this game... this really is the.. most wonderful time... of the year!

posted by camcanuck at 02:15 PM on October 08, 2003

They're going to be airing these ads on CBC? ... Why?

posted by mkn at 02:26 PM on October 08, 2003

It's a good time of the year, but it's got nothing on April.

posted by Mookieproof at 03:02 PM on October 08, 2003

I'm drunk with anticipation.

posted by Samsonov14 at 03:09 PM on October 08, 2003

I'm just drunk. "Haff dey droppd da pucksh yet?" uuuurrrpp! Enjoy the games this year fellow hockey fans, for the pending lockout may take a loooong time to get settled.

posted by NoMich at 03:23 PM on October 08, 2003

I'll be the drunkest as my coworker, neighbour, and fellow Sens fan has ordered the Centre Ice package for this season. Bye bye social life... Also...where's my photo Samsonov!

posted by Succa at 03:40 PM on October 08, 2003

bill, I'm no native, I just tore up that one-beer town many moons ago with a riotous hoard of fellow tree-planters, embibing for the first time in weeks....took over a 'local' bar, and the locals were none too pleased. The represented population at said establishment is where Shania's lineage came into question. They had Fanta, though, which was cool. I hate beer! Beer sucks! Pass me another... (sidenote: ever seen a grown man tear his trouser cache on a flag pole? you don't want to...but we got the flag for Canada Day!)

posted by garfield at 04:05 PM on October 08, 2003

Note to Bettman: Hockey needs more cheerleaders, you fucking NIMROD!!!

posted by garfield at 04:09 PM on October 08, 2003

I don't know the rules to rugby, cricket or Australian rules football and I can definitely say that it stops me from watching for more than a couple seconds when I flip past a game on the dial. Every sport has flexibility with rules. Baseball has the phantom touch of 2nd base for the front part of a double play, basketball's foul rules and travelling are at the whim of the ref, and football with it's holding, 5-yard contact zone and pass interference interpretations. Shania note: A co-worker of mine won front row tickets to her opening concert on her tour this year (in Hamilton), including a meet'n'greet with her. He says she's nicer and hotter looking in person, even when she's just wearing jeans and a t-shirt. I hate him so very much now. I'm looking forward to the hockey season just because I feel it might be the last one in a while. If they do go into a labour dispute, they might lose me entirely as I've become more of a baseball fan in the past couple of years. Even in the off-season, I keep track of baseball stuff. That said, go Leafs go! Not that I can afford to go to a Leaf game anymore...$160Cdn for a ticket in the nosebleed section? Fuck that!

posted by grum@work at 04:18 PM on October 08, 2003

Whenever a rugby game is on my TV, I actually have to stop myself from watching too much at a time for fear of actually figuring out what the rules are, because it would probably spoil my enjoyment of what's on the screen. That's pretty much what happened with me and Australian rules. At first it was, "Hey, they're beating the crap out of each other and this makes no sense! Perfect!" Then I noticed that they were playing on a big oval with an ugly rectangle drawn in the middle, and there are all these goalposts, and ball carriers have to bounce the ball every now and then, and it was nonsense for a different reason. There were rules after all, but the rules looked as though a bored eight-year-old had put them together. Now, if they were to devise a third rugby code, that was basically like union only allowing forward passes, ball advancement by players who aren't standing, and all manner of obstruction and violent conduct within fifteen metres of the ball, then I'd be all over it. It would be like "smear the queer" with a couple more objectives.

posted by taupe at 04:58 PM on October 08, 2003

ok, now I'm drunk

posted by garfield at 06:33 PM on October 08, 2003

...and kudos to Jarome....and Craig Conroy: what teammates are supposed to be.

posted by garfield at 06:41 PM on October 08, 2003

Go Bruins, sort of!

posted by Samsonov14 at 12:53 AM on October 09, 2003

I have to pass this along for Grum — My girlfriend, who is from Toronto, stayed with me for two weeks this summer with her two-year-old son, Cabot. Obviously, the whole family is comprised of rabid Leafs fans, and Cabot has a pair of Leafs pajamas. He had a habit of chanting "Go Leafs Go!" whenever he had them on, so I engaged in a bit of rote learning with the boy, who has proudly returned to Canada to chant "Leafs Losers!" whenever he sees the Leafs logo. He apparently first debuted his new stance on the local squad at a fair in Markham with his father, who was horrified. I'm going up there for Halloween, where I apparently now face a lynching.

posted by wfrazerjr at 08:50 AM on October 09, 2003

You've served society well wfrazerjr.

posted by Succa at 08:56 AM on October 09, 2003

My girlfriend, who is from Toronto Who are you, Anthony Michael Hall's movie characters? proudly returned to Canada to chant "Leafs Losers!" It could have been worse. You could have sent him back chanting "Senators rule!". Then he'd just get laughed at all day long. ;)

posted by grum@work at 12:38 PM on October 09, 2003

Did someone ask for more cheerleaders? My, she's a toothy one.

posted by NoMich at 01:09 PM on October 09, 2003

I'm really just dating her as a way to get Tim Horton's coffee shipped to me. Dude, I wish I was Anthony Michael Hall. He gets ALLLLL da chicks.

posted by wfrazerjr at 01:48 PM on October 09, 2003

HOCKEY! GO LEAFS. I'm going to see the Columbus Blue Jackets pummel the Rangers for their opening homegame on Saturday night. So excited.

posted by insomnyuk at 12:05 AM on October 10, 2003

insomnyuk, the way the BJs played last night, you think that's gonna happen?

posted by billsaysthis at 11:39 AM on October 10, 2003

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