December 24, 2011

The Hoser's NFL Picks, Week 16 2011: NFL picks that say, "Merry Christmas ... ya lousy bum."

posted by wfrazerjr to football at 12:51 PM - 7 comments

The Saturday start caught us unprepared -- which should frankly make no difference in the accuracy of our picks. Good luck to those of you playing in your fantasy football championships this weekend and Merry Christmas to all!

Oakland (+2.5) at KANSAS CITY (42): We're surprised SeaBass's 65-yard-attempt last week just didn't rip the hand off the guy who blocked it. Raiders 22, Chiefs 16.
Denver (-2.5) at BUFFALO (43.5): You gotta think if Tebow actually HAS connections upstairs, they're gonna come through big time this week. Broncos 23, Bills 19.
Jacksonville (+7) at TENNESSEE (39.5): We thought the Jake Locker era would start last week. It should have. Titans 24, Jaguars 13.
Arizona (+4.5) at CINCINNATI (41): Did you know the Cardinals are 7-7? Does anyone know that? Bengals 20, Cardinals 17.
Miami (+8) at NEW ENGLAND (50): It's two-hoodie weather in New England, we think. Patriots 27, Dolphins 17.
Cleveland (+11.5) at BALTIMORE (39): Don't they know Peyton Hillis is back? Ravens 22, Browns 13.
New York Giants (+3) at NEW YORK JETS (47): Give the Giants credit -- I don't think I'd be able to show my face in New York after last week's performance. They were worse than that "Kung Fu Panda" Christmas special. Jets 23, Giants 17.
Minnesota (+6.5) at WASHINGTON (44): Free Joe Webb! Racists 23, Vikings 17.
Tampa Bay (+7.5) at CAROLINA (48.5): Don't let your kids watch this one -- the nightmares will keep them from getting to sleep and letting Santa do his work. Panthers 26, Buccaneers 17.
St. Louis Rams (+10.5) at PITTSBURGH (34.5): I hope Andrew Luck like Budweiser. Steelers 24, Rams 10.
San Diego (+2) at DETROIT (52.5): The Chargers are making their annual late-season rush, but it stops in the Motor City. Lions 29, Chargers 24.
San Francisco (-1) at SEATTLE (37.5): Game of the week here, and Beast Mode is still in effect for the holidays. Seahawks 20, 49ers 16.
Philadelphia (+1.5) at DALLAS (51): Cowboys owner Jerry Jones said this week he was scared of the Eagles, but he might have just been looking at old bills from his plastic surgeon. Cowboys 27, Eagles 24.
Chicago (+11) at GREEN BAY (42): Hoo boy, this could be a bloodbath. The Bears would be better off installing Brian Urlacher at QB and just running 60 sneaks. Packers 27, Bears 10.
Atlanta (+7) at NEW ORLEANS (52): Anyone else see the Falcon sideline every week and wonder how Gomez Addams got a sideline pass? Saints 29, Falcons 26.

Lock of the Week: New England
Trifecta: New England, Seattle, Dallas

posted by wfrazerjr at 12:52 PM on December 24, 2011

Gomez sez: Uncle Fester ain't good for 60 sneaks at this point in his career.

Bi-annual "What's your deal?" Niners-Seahawks grudge match is must see. Mainly for the post-game handshake.

I will buy an abandoned building in Detroit if the Lions can finally put a merciful end to the Norv era. If the Chargers win just enough to save his job, the lingering gloom will last until spring.

Dolphins catch a weather break in NE. No snowplow field goals this year.

posted by beaverboard at 01:26 PM on December 24, 2011


posted by wfrazerjr at 02:43 PM on December 24, 2011

Brady better start channeling his inner Tebow.

(or, y'know, his inner Tom Brady circa 2007)

And, oh yeah, props to Stephen Gostkowski for his fine contributions to special, the rest of you...that's right, TACKLE HIM.

posted by lil_brown_bat at 03:01 PM on December 24, 2011

Jerome Simpson sticks the landing.

posted by wfrazerjr at 03:16 PM on December 24, 2011

The Bucs are doing a great job of making a case regarding the future of Raheem Morris. It's probably not the case Raheem would want, however.

posted by Bonkers at 03:24 PM on December 24, 2011

Went to the Bills/Broncos game today. This was a game that may make Denver re-think their plans with Tebow.

posted by dyams at 08:08 PM on December 24, 2011

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