November 25, 2010

The Hoser's NFL Picks 2010 -- Week 12: NFL picks that miss the American Thanksgiving, but not the day after American Thanksgiving.

posted by wfrazerjr to football at 12:25 PM - 2 comments

Welcome to Week 12 of the 2010 edition of The Hoser's NFL Picks, where it seems the colder the weather gets, the hotter we are.

The Hoser staff had another solid week, knocking out a 10-6 week against the spread and 12-4 straight up. Atlanta carried our Lock of the Week and New Orleans and Jacksonville both covered to pick up another Trifecta hit. That adds up to a $1,240 profit for the week and almost gets us back to even for the season. It's also means we're a scorching 36-18 ATS for the past four weeks.

If we could bottle it, we would.

In the "What The Hell Took You So Long?" department, the Vikings finally fired Brad Childress this week. He lost control of this team (with the help of a certain penis-flashing senior citizen) and deserved the axe, but don't feel too bad for him -- he'll go back to his old job being the understudy for Gerald McRainey in local dinner theaters.

Remember these picks are just for fun. Using them to wager money is advisable as trying to pull that other drumstick away from your fat Aunt Rita.

New England (-6.5) at DETROIT (51): Current Cowboys and former Lions receiver Roy Williams defended Matt Millen's track record as a general manager this week. That's like Lady Gaga saying Madonna's an excellent singer. Patriots 31, Lions 17.

New Orleans (-3.5) at DALLAS (51): If Dallas pulls this one out, Jason Garrett should have been working with Helen Keller. Saints 27, Cowboys 21.

Cincinnati (+8.5) at NY JETS (43.5): You'd expect T.O. to
show up big on Turkey Day, wouldn't you? Jets 23, Bengals 17.

Minnesota (+1) at WASHINGTON (43): We're going to watch this game with Green Day's "Boulevard of Broken Dreams" playing over and over in the background. Racists 23, Vikings 21.

Pittsburgh (-6) at BUFFALO (43): Expect the Steeler defense to beat the stuffing out of Ryan Fitzpatrick. Steelers 23, Bills 14.

Tennessee (+6.5) at HOUSTON (45.5): We're pretty sure that was Opie Cunningham running the Tennessee offense in the fourth quarter last week. Texans 24, Titans 19.

Jacksonville (+7.5) at NY GIANTS (44.5): So, which end of the seesaw is Eli on this week? Up, or down? Light meat, or dark (note: we've always preferred the dark)? Giants 24, Jaguars 17.

Carolina (+10) at CLEVELAND (37.5): Are the Panthers this bad? Does your mom always make too much food? Browns 21, Panthers 13.

BALTIMORE (-7.5) at Tampa Bay (41): A half-point too much. Ravens 20, Buccaneers 13.

Philadelphia (-3.5) at CHICAGO (42): Picking the upset here, as we expect the Bears to take a bite out of Michael Vick. Bears 20, Eagles 17.

Green Bay (+2) at ATLANTA (47.5): On a weekend dedicated to overeating, it pains us to go against a team named after the meat industry. Falcons 24, Packers 21.

Miami (NA) at OAKLAND (NA): No line as of now -- we'll update when it goes up.

Kansas City (-1) at SEATTLE (44.5): The Hoser's 100-1 Chiefs Super Bowl ticket is starting to look more and more like a cheque from Bernie Madoff. Seahawks 23, Chiefs 20.

St. Louis (+4) at DENVER (44.5): We don't care of the Rams lose the rest of the way -- Steve Spagnuolo deserves some Coach of the Year votes. Broncos 23, Rams 17.

San Diego (+3) at INDIANAPOLIS (51.5): We've started a holiday charity in Peyton Manning's honour this year. Send your turkeys to "Let's Give The Colts The Bird" c/o The Hoser. Colts 30, Chargers 26.

San Francisco (-1) at ARIZONA (40): Forget the turkey -- if the 49ers drop this, Mike Singletary should get the axe. 49ers 23, Cardinals 19.

Lock of the Week: Chicago

Trifecta: Chicago, Denver, Seattle

2010 Week 11 Hoser Picks:
Straight Up: 12-4
Against The Spread: 10-6
Lock of the Week: 1-0
Trifecta: 1-0
Money: $1,240

2010 Season Hoser Picks
Straight Up: 99-63
Against The Spread: 88-76-8
Lock of the Week: 5-6
Trifecta: 2-9
Money: $-810

2010 Week 11 Money Spent: $15
2010 Week 11 Money Made: $0
2010 Season Money Spent: $140
2010 Season Money Made: $50
2010 Total: $-90

posted by wfrazerjr at 12:26 PM on November 25

I would just like to point out that Packers v Falcons game IS THE MOST IMPORTANT GAME IN THE HISTORY OF HUMAN CIVILIZATION.

That is all.

posted by BitterOldPunk at 06:40 PM on November 26

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