11/23/24
September 28, 2003
EPL Fantasy League Week 7 (September final). V4N N1STELR000YYYY!!!!11!!! Wait... L1$b!3!!!!!!! Wait. Steve Watson??!! My head hurts. terrapin made all our heads hurt by crushing them to the tune of an 81-point week. It's tightening up nicely at the top of the table -- but even so, you can't keep a good Fooker down. (more inside)
posted by taupe to navel gazing at 01:47 PM - 83 comments
A horrendous week, and it started out so well for us. Red Dragons manager comments: "We are like a baby learning all the time at the moment. We are crawling and trying to stand up, but we are not ready yet. We do not have the balance. I will not put any pressure on my players because it is not easy to win games in the Premiership ... I am the father of this baby and all the pressure is on me." (Actually, Chelsea's Ranieri said that.)
posted by worldcup2002 at 02:40 PM on September 28, 2003
I think my poor showing is reflecting the complete lack of experience in fantasy play--what's the point of wasting money on top defensemen, like Hyypia, who never score? I need to use this week's transfer to unload him and then buy a better third forward! Hopefully this is early enough in the season to have an impact. How much is Ruud again?
posted by billsaysthis at 06:49 PM on September 28, 2003
Too much...
posted by StarFucker at 08:55 PM on September 28, 2003
It's always going to be a good week's overall scoring when Henry, RVN and Owen all come good. I just wish I'd made old Nistlehorse the skipper rather than that idle 20 point scoring Henry. My midfield failed abjectly yet again. My response was to sell a defender. I really shouldn't drink on Sundays.
posted by squealy at 03:23 AM on September 29, 2003
HA! Funny shit squealy...
posted by StarFucker at 08:35 AM on September 29, 2003
sheesh taupe - 10 transfers which is what? at least 5 over the one freebie per week transfer limit? which is good for 20 penalty points? which is the difference between your squad and the lead? OF COURSE it must be pointed out that those extra transfers presumably have something to do with your point total, but still. Ouch.
posted by gspm at 10:13 AM on September 29, 2003
taupe, you gotta quit changing the name of your team... I like Bayern Mucus the best...
posted by StarFucker at 11:06 AM on September 29, 2003
I think the name changes are going to cost taupe the championship. The league deducts five points every time you do that. Just kidding.
posted by worldcup2002 at 12:39 PM on September 29, 2003
posted by StarFucker at 03:32 PM on September 29, 2003
I have a total of 12 points of transfer penalties total; my transfers have been spaced out at one per gameweek, with the exception of the four-player swap at the end of August that got me Anelka, Dodd and De Zeeuw (and Reyna, but maybe the Spurs debacle will convince Keegan to give him some starts soon). Injury (Robbie Keane, Mellberg), inexplicable benching (Riise pre-Blackburn, Gallas), and poor player performance (Friedel) have forced most of those transfers. The 10 transfers includes one for the next deadline. It's turned out not to be my best decision -- I sold Stan Lazaridis during the Friday game. It made sense at the time: he had this shoulder injury; he usually came on as a late sub; he was plummeting in value; and I watched their game with Leeds and realized, damn, that guy is UGLY. So out he went. Then he has a goal, an assist, and 90 minutes against Pompey, and I didn't start him. The name change came upon reflection of how much I was complaining here about the point hauls of Henry and van Sissyboy, and the phrase "Bitter Mucus" popped into my head, and I liked it because it sounded like the title of a very strange melodramatic novel or something, so that explains that. I may change it back, or to something else, or whatever.
posted by taupe at 03:39 PM on September 29, 2003
I don't think there's much to regret with your transfers, taupe. You're #1 in Sept, #6 overall (and pressing pretty close on #4, if not the top 3). I, on the other hand, am wallowing in near-relegation territory, #24 for Sept, #19 overall. The pressure is on but I have this to say: "Pressure? My thoughts are with those who are at the bottom of the league. "Nobody has won the league yet, not in September or October. "We knew our challengers had won so there was pressure from that. In football you always get criticised." (actually, Liverpool's Houllier said that.)
posted by worldcup2002 at 03:58 PM on September 29, 2003
Laziridis is one of the ugliest footballers i have ever seen...god damn no neck bastard. Uglier than Robbie Savage even. What is with Birmingham? They are a magnet for the ugly footballer.
posted by StarFucker at 03:59 PM on September 29, 2003
btw, what the heck is going on with yahoo? They've completely lost this week's scores from the individual team and league listings (even tho the total scores do seem to be complete -- check it, they're showing 7 weeks instead of 8, and the scores for the individual weeks don't add up to the total). Plonkers.
posted by worldcup2002 at 04:01 PM on September 29, 2003
I'm sure this must have been posted before, but what the hell.
posted by Fat Buddha at 04:06 PM on September 29, 2003
HOLY SHIT! What DID happen to Yahoo!? All my changes are gone!
posted by StarFucker at 04:25 PM on September 29, 2003
Never mind StarFecker, it'll probably improve your team. :-P This story is almost completely off topic but I don't feel like posting it as a front page link. It's been the talk of the English football message boards all day. So much so that the biggest site - Rivals.net has been forced to close all it's message boards to avoid legal action as people were speculating groundlessly and naming names. This is a bad thing as it means I may have to do some work tomorrow.
posted by squealy at 04:48 PM on September 29, 2003
There is no such thing as an "unnatural sex act".
posted by StarFucker at 05:01 PM on September 29, 2003
SF, come on, now. I'd say rape is unnatural, wouldn't you? Just. Plain. Sick.
posted by garfield at 05:23 PM on September 29, 2003
The unnatural sex act involved a bottle, apparently, and a couple of the names being mentioned are depressingly familiar.
posted by Fat Buddha at 05:42 PM on September 29, 2003
But we're not mentioning names right? Because that would be wrong.
posted by squealy at 05:47 PM on September 29, 2003
what's wrong with mentioning names? c'mon, have at it! Kobe? Oh, wait, same shit, different sport.
posted by worldcup2002 at 06:32 PM on September 29, 2003
Because wc2002 we have a tradition of being innocent until proven guilty in our country. I know from Guantanamo Bay you yanks find this concept difficult to grasp. :-P There's also the personal legal ramifications, and I could do without sharing a cell with scumbags like, heh, almost forgot meself then.
posted by squealy at 02:53 AM on September 30, 2003
Great news for Liverpool fans!!
posted by StarFucker at 08:42 AM on September 30, 2003
I watched the Charlton game. Liverpool missed Carragher believe it or not. The midfield is too lightweight without Murphy or Hammann and leaves the defence exposed woefully. Why can't Houllier create a healthy balance between defence and attack? Because he's a muppet, that's why.
posted by squealy at 08:52 AM on September 30, 2003
Liverpool missed BAROS, not Carragher. There was no threat in Heskey for Charlton to be concerned with. They could attack with impunity, knowing that every long ball to Heskey would bounce off of him to a defender.
posted by StarFucker at 08:56 AM on September 30, 2003
Well, at least Henchoz looks like he's coming back.
posted by worldcup2002 at 09:54 AM on September 30, 2003
Let's bloody hope so because Biscan is not a centre-back. I don't want to have to sell Hyypia but if Liverpool don't improve at the back he'll be out on his arse quick sharp.
posted by squealy at 11:24 AM on September 30, 2003
WHO IS BUYING THISHOLY SHIT! WHO IS BUYING THIS?
posted by StarFucker at 12:00 PM on September 30, 2003
Woah, what happened to my post there?
posted by StarFucker at 12:01 PM on September 30, 2003
squealy: I know, man. Every week's a struggle to just keep to one trade. But I'm beginning to like the discipline of the system, and how it seems to keep the competition closer. Also, I like that it isn't entirely rigid about trades, but it does impose a punishment on free-wheeling trades, or at least increases the risk for getting a reward. But that's not what I meant to talk about. I have two or three players I'd like to boot (Bartlett!), and I'm going to have to do it slowly. Unless I (finally) have a big week, which will give me the luxury of paying the penalty for extra trades. Argggh.
posted by worldcup2002 at 12:33 PM on September 30, 2003
Yes wc2002 it's a pain, but in a good way. Shame you didn't have Lisbie eh? If you really want to know those names you could email me. My address is in my profile. Only on the condition you agree not to post them on here mind.
posted by squealy at 01:11 PM on September 30, 2003
nah, it's ok. I'm sure it will happen soon enough. Ta.
posted by worldcup2002 at 01:22 PM on September 30, 2003
squealy, just tell me that the names are not ones found on the Liverpool roster, okay? Other than that, I'm not to concerned/interested. SF: that looks very cool. In fact, I believe I saw a few episodes last year on one of the PBS stations here. We could all chip in together and then whoever has a DVD burner just make copies for the rest. I would go $10 (okay, $12 to cover the blanks).
posted by billsaysthis at 02:03 PM on September 30, 2003
Sounds good to me, you guys send me the cash...and i promise i'll make copies.
posted by StarFucker at 02:31 PM on September 30, 2003
Billsaysthis, it's all rumour and innuendo anyway, but no Liverpool players have been mentioned. The smart money seems to centre on a team which has developed a habit of buying players with poor reputations.
posted by Fat Buddha at 02:45 PM on September 30, 2003
Birmingham?!
posted by StarFucker at 02:51 PM on September 30, 2003
Very droll.
posted by Fat Buddha at 02:58 PM on September 30, 2003
Leeds.
posted by worldcup2002 at 03:36 PM on September 30, 2003
And guess which ex-Leeds players were in town with Newcastle for the Gunners v Newcastle game? Which is not to imply anything at all whatsoever. Because that would be wrong. Toodle-doo.
posted by worldcup2002 at 03:37 PM on September 30, 2003
Newcastle have denied that Bobby Robson has resigned, not that that means anything.
posted by Fat Buddha at 03:40 PM on September 30, 2003
Well, if their players are too busy taking part in gang-rapes to actually win some soccer games ... Not that that means anything. No. No animals were harmed in the writing of this comment.
posted by worldcup2002 at 03:51 PM on September 30, 2003
The visiting teams were Newcastle, Liverpool, and Aston Villa. The ThisisLondon.com story reads: "The players, who have not been identified, are said to be 'household' names. One source said: 'They are instantly recognisable to every football fan. ...'", so I guess that would pretty much rule out Aston Villa. Badum-pum.
posted by taupe at 03:56 PM on September 30, 2003
HA!
posted by StarFucker at 04:17 PM on September 30, 2003
LFC players were all caught up in the excitement of Murphy's injury to worry about women that weekend, eh?
posted by billsaysthis at 04:24 PM on September 30, 2003
I know I was...
posted by StarFucker at 04:29 PM on September 30, 2003
Whew, I'm glad to hear that. The Fooker was top on my list of offenders.
posted by worldcup2002 at 04:45 PM on September 30, 2003
But seriously folks, I'm wondering if I'll be surprised to find the actual offenders will have the first names beginning with: A J L I'm just saying.
posted by worldcup2002 at 04:47 PM on September 30, 2003
Time for Liam Ridgewell to sue you for libel, wc2002. Okay, I'll stop now. Except to say that I'm not sure the J you seem to be thinking of even made the trip.
posted by taupe at 05:17 PM on September 30, 2003
It appears that Newcastle have bid for Patrick Kluivert, which may or may not be ironic.
posted by Fat Buddha at 05:30 PM on September 30, 2003
I knew I should never have mentioned this.
posted by squealy at 05:49 PM on September 30, 2003
But you did, old chap, you did.
posted by Fat Buddha at 01:56 AM on October 01, 2003
Speaking of of journalists talking cock, the report in the Times of the Blues - Pompey game at the weekend was outrageous, causing plenty of Blues fans to e mail the writer. It appears that the chap has now started to contribute to a Blues message board in order to defend himself, although I don't believe it for a minute. Even if it is Squealy in disguise the fact of the e mails is another example of the internet not allowing journalists to get away with lazy stereotypes. Spofi: we give rapid rebuttal!
posted by Fat Buddha at 02:18 AM on October 01, 2003
Bugger, the above was intended for the Forbes thread!
posted by Fat Buddha at 02:30 AM on October 01, 2003
Ha, you drunken old fool. It's not me btw.
posted by squealy at 04:14 AM on October 01, 2003
Spofi: we don't know what the fuck we're doing, half the time!
posted by Fat Buddha at 04:52 AM on October 01, 2003
only half?
posted by BigCalm at 04:59 AM on October 01, 2003
I'm at the top of the yahoo table and fooker is near the bottom. Fooker is at the top of the EPL table and I'm near the bottom for this month. Coincidence? I think not..
posted by Mossy at 06:37 AM on October 01, 2003
squealy: I knew I should never have mentioned this. Don't beat yourself up about it, old cock. I'd read the article on Soccernet long before you posted it. I just decided not to post it. (You, however, must live to regret your decision, forever forever forever forever ...) One sports star rape allegation was enough (Kobe!). SpoFi: If one sports rape allegation is good, two must be better.
posted by worldcup2002 at 09:55 AM on October 01, 2003
it is a sports story that was essentially front page news in the UK. it had merit to posted on spofi somewhere sooner or later and can't say that it was wrong to mention it. I almost did. but yeah, don't beat yourself up about it, old cock.
posted by gspm at 12:02 PM on October 01, 2003
I'm at the top of the yahoo table and fooker is near the bottom. Fooker is at the top of the EPL table and I'm near the bottom for this month. Soon i will be top of both tables, and you will be bottom of both... That ALSO won't be a coincidence...
posted by StarFucker at 12:20 PM on October 01, 2003
Why does everybody keep calling me a cock? *Cries*
posted by squealy at 09:03 AM on October 02, 2003
Maybe it was all a cock-up.
posted by worldcup2002 at 10:01 AM on October 02, 2003
Bring it. 
Fergi isn't looking too well these days. Ick.
posted by Mossy at 11:06 AM on October 02, 2003
Even (British) tech pub The Register is getting into this cock-up with an article about how discussion boards are being shut down to prevent liability over naming the names.
posted by billsaysthis at 11:28 AM on October 02, 2003
Errr, Bill?? You trying to spam us mate? It's about time the Register got up to speed with the Rivals.net issue. I emailed them bloody yesterday asking why they hadn't covered it, so I'm claiming credit. ;-)
posted by squealy at 11:32 AM on October 02, 2003
posted by StarFucker at 11:40 AM on October 02, 2003
Any news on that gang rape case? Haven't heard squat. Is anyone worried their Fantasy rosters will be effected?
posted by garfield at 11:59 AM on October 02, 2003
No, i have heard nothing...
posted by StarFucker at 01:46 PM on October 02, 2003
Shite. What's the hold up? Legal procedure? Due process? Bah!
posted by garfield at 02:16 PM on October 02, 2003
Thanks for the props, taupe. Good thing I was out of town this weekend or I might have fecked it up ;) That big week really helped close the gap at the top of the table!
posted by scully at 03:23 PM on October 02, 2003
It wasn't Dyer , then.
posted by Fat Buddha at 02:47 AM on October 03, 2003
Jeezus FB a "Jo Beckham" warning would've been nice. Christ that chick is scary.
posted by lilnemo at 12:32 PM on October 03, 2003
One of those loser siblings of famous folk, like Jimmy Carter's brother, or Clinton's brother. Has anyone told her her brother got all the Beckham's good-looking genes? Sad.
posted by worldcup2002 at 12:52 PM on October 03, 2003
Fag
posted by StarFucker at 01:47 PM on October 03, 2003
Beckham makes millions and then his sister has to work in a hair salon? Where's the love?
posted by billsaysthis at 02:43 PM on October 03, 2003
Is there any truth in the rumour Newcastle are to be sponsored by 7 up?
posted by Fat Buddha at 04:49 PM on October 03, 2003
FB is on a roll.
posted by lilnemo at 04:55 PM on October 03, 2003
I can't take that sitting down. Here are the projected squads for the Newcastle-Arsenal fixture in April:
| Newcastle | Arsenal | |
| Shay Given | Jens Lehman | |
| Stephen Caldwell | Stathis Tavlaridis | |
| Robbie Elliott | Mahmoud Abbas | |
| Bill Romanowski | Clive Anderson | |
| Stephen Callender-Ferrier | Edu | |
| Hugo Viana | Fredrik Ljungberg | |
| Uma Thurman | Hanna Ljungberg | |
| C. Burridge, Longbenton, age 8* | Prince Harry | |
| Gary Speed | Susannah Constantine | |
| Carl Cort | Kanu | |
| Alan Shearer | Thierry Henry | |
| Substitutes | Substitutes | |
| Stephen Harper | Richard Simmons | |
| Ant | Gary Coleman | |
| Dec | Pascal Cygan | |
| Sting | Richard Williams | |
| Paul Gascoigne | Mel Gibson | |
| *-essay contest winner | ||
posted by taupe at 11:39 PM on October 03, 2003
Hey, have any of you guys ever heard "The Chauffer" by Duran Duran?
posted by StarFucker at 12:21 AM on October 04, 2003
My friends would have shivved me had they caught me listening to Duran Duran. Owen's leg isn't broken.
posted by taupe at 08:31 AM on October 04, 2003
Sting is listed as questionable for that match pending whether he can get that little middle eastern singer from his "Desert Rose" video to tend to him as his "trainer".
posted by lilnemo at 11:07 AM on October 04, 2003
What's Duran Duran got to do with anything?
posted by worldcup2002 at 02:32 PM on October 04, 2003
Drum roll: