January 23, 2003

***SPOFI LOCKER ROOM INTERVIEW*** Ufez Jones: "I could probably be talked into it, but then who would read the interview?" The third in my quest to bring you earth-shaking revelations about your fellow SpoFier. Meet the man named after a goofy hat, Ufez Jones.

posted by worldcup2002 to navel gazing at 01:27 AM - 46 comments

Thanks for stepping up to the challenge, Ufez. You know the drill: Q & A style, ten questions from me, I ask one, you answer one. Everyone else, try to hold your comments and questions for after I'm done with the interview. So, Ufez, your profile says you're "scott" (secrest?) in Dallas and, I'm pleased to say, an avid soccer fan. Q1. What's up with the nickname?

posted by worldcup2002 at 01:35 AM on January 23, 2003

[ oogachaka oogachaka oogachaka ooga ooga ooga ooga ]

posted by BigCalm at 03:15 AM on January 23, 2003

Wow, background music for a text interview. Brilliant.

posted by worldcup2002 at 09:18 AM on January 23, 2003

Ufez came from one of those late-night Scrabble games where you're relaxing the rules and just being goofy. So long as you come up with a feasable definition, you're golden. So a friend of mine played a "U" on top of the word "Fez" (my word) and coined "ufez" as a slang term in parts of Mexico for a pimp. But it was more of a Steve Buscemi kind of pimp versus an Ice-T kind. That was roughly in 1997 or so. The Jones got added on sometime later for no reason that I can remember. as an aside, how did you know my last name? **peers under desk**

posted by Ufez Jones at 10:10 AM on January 23, 2003

um, your email address kind of gives it away Ufez.

posted by BigCalm at 11:53 AM on January 23, 2003

i used a sophisticated technique developed by the nsa. i looked at the email address in your profile. Scrabble, Mexican pimps, Steve Buscemi, Ice-T. (Ice is actually a cop on Law & Order: SVU now. Irony of ironies.) Hmmm. We'll have to come back to that later. Q2. Now, since you're such the big soccer fan, why didn't you take part in the SpoFi fantasy league? Are you in there under another assumed name?

posted by worldcup2002 at 11:53 AM on January 23, 2003

Yeah, I figured out the e-mail addy thing after a couple of minutes thinking about it. I must be getting paranoid. No SpoFi Premiership Fantasy League for me basically due to the fact that it's so damned difficult for me to keep up with the goings-on over there. I don't get cable (any channels, much less the good ones) and the local paper doesn't do much for coverage other than printing scores and standings about twice a week. I'm so far removed from who plays for which squad now that it'd just be an ugly mess. I'm in second in the SpoFi NBA fantasy league though.

posted by Ufez Jones at 12:08 PM on January 23, 2003

So are we NOT supposed to be commenting in here?!

posted by StarFucker at 03:12 PM on January 23, 2003

don't ask me, man. I'm open to criticism. If I lay it all out in public, I expect it. odd fact: This is locker room post #149. My SpoFi user number is 149. Discuss:

posted by Ufez Jones at 03:16 PM on January 23, 2003

How do you find out your user number?

posted by StarFucker at 03:46 PM on January 23, 2003

it's at the end of your profile page, or just hover your mouse over your name and you'll see it at the bottom of your browser (in I.E. anyways). You're 256.

posted by Ufez Jones at 04:10 PM on January 23, 2003

OK, thanks for that interlude, gentlemen. Ufez, you're describing my own situation exactly vis a vis access to EPL news and action. Q3. But haven't you been following my posts, EPL weekly reports and the flood of linkitude that I pour upon the unwashed masses? Wouldn't some Web surfing compensate for your lack of offline access? I get your point about watching the players playing. StarFucker obviously benefits from his TV-watching. But then again, Englishmen like Fat Buddha and BigCalm haven't exactly been helped by having local access to the EPL. So, you think you'd be interested in playing next season?

posted by worldcup2002 at 04:59 PM on January 23, 2003

Possibly. I note that the last one started in July. July and August are by far the busiest months for me at work (we're not even allowed to take vacations then). But if I can conjure up a bit of intelligence about it, then I'll probably do it. The net is good for all that, but there's just no comparison to watching the games. I don't even like baseball, but I can tell you more about the '87 Twins then I can this year's Magpies.

posted by Ufez Jones at 10:49 PM on January 23, 2003

We can list all the websites that help us prepare Ufez... There are plenty! By the way, why don't you have FOXSPORTSWORLD?!

posted by StarFucker at 08:15 AM on January 24, 2003

SF, I don't have Fox, much less Fox Sports World. I don't get ANY channels. But I like it that way.

posted by Ufez Jones at 09:04 AM on January 24, 2003

Q4. And what is your job that is superbusy in July/August?

posted by worldcup2002 at 09:32 AM on January 24, 2003

Heh, I'm a budget analyst for Dallas County. I work mainly with the Civil Courts and Child Support Office, and a few other loosely related departments. Fiscal year starts Oct. 1, so we're pulling all of our shit together in July and August for the Commissioners to approve in September. This time of year there's not much going on though. As an aside, I work in the old School Book Depository building (3rd floor).

posted by Ufez Jones at 09:44 AM on January 24, 2003

[ I am now deeply envious - not of your job (snore...), but that you work in the same building jfk was assassinated from. Kudos. ]

posted by BigCalm at 12:49 PM on January 24, 2003

So, you should have lots of time to get caught up on your EPL news-surfing. Q5. What do you do when things aren't as busy? What do you do for fun?

posted by worldcup2002 at 01:06 PM on January 24, 2003

When things aren't so busy, it's more maintenance type stuff. Performance Measures, putting out fires, etc. For fun I do pretty normal things. Play around on the web, play soccer (I was playing indoor, am trying to squeak in on an outdoor team for spring), read, listen to music, play disc golf, watch movies, hang out at bars with friends. You know, stuff.

posted by Ufez Jones at 01:59 PM on January 24, 2003

Q6. What about board games? Do you play any besides Scrabble? What's your favorite board game?

posted by worldcup2002 at 10:23 PM on January 24, 2003

Um, yeah. Scrabble's my favorite, but I also enjoy a good game of Trivial Pursuit when I get the chance. I'm also a fan of Rummikub (not really a board game). We played quite a few drinking games in college too (three-man, asshole, circle of death) but I've kind of mellowed out since I graduated in May '01. I will say though, I hate Monopoly with a passion.

posted by Ufez Jones at 01:48 PM on January 25, 2003

OK, maybe board games was not the best question. And now, for something completely different ... Q7. Super Bowl: Raiders or Buccaneers? Why? What will you be doing during the game?

posted by worldcup2002 at 04:14 PM on January 25, 2003

I don't really mind who wins either way. I've not seen either one of the teams play all year (I really don't like American Football too much). If I had to pick a favorite, I'd go with the Raiders, just for Jerry Rice and Tim Brown. Rice has always been a favorite of mine (plus I have four of his rookie cards, if those are worth anything anymore). Tim Brown's a classy veteran who really deserves a championship. I've been invited to two watch parties. Not sure which one I'll go to yet, but there's a good chance I'll be watching from a couch and drinking a beer or two.

posted by Ufez Jones at 04:56 PM on January 25, 2003

Yeah, I'm not much of a pigskin fan, either. But I'll be going to a friend's party and pigging out. That's where the fun is: the friends and the food. And, of course, the commercials. I'm stoked for the Matrix: Reloaded. They'll also be doing T3, Daredevil and Hulk. Yeah! Ahem. But back to you, Ufez ... Q8. What's your favorite beverage? According to your blog, you like tea. What kind?

posted by worldcup2002 at 05:53 PM on January 25, 2003

I've always been a big iced tea fan (no lemon, no sugar, just plain), but when I went to England and started riding around on the trains, I got really into hot tea. Breakfast blends, Earl Grey, etc. etc. (brown sugar is the key). I'm trying to get into different kinds of teas now, like Red Tea from Africa and the asian green teas. I've always, always hated coffee, and will never be a coffee guy. I also drink at least a Diet Coke a day at work, but usually two. For libations, I've been on a big gin and tonic kick the last year or so. I'd like to say I'm into good gin, and I enjoy the Bombay Sapphire or Tanqueray when I can afford it, but most of the time it's well gin. Before that I was big into Bourbon and Cokes and Rum and Coke. I stopped drinking those and lost a lot of weight, so I'm hesitant to go back. For beer, I usually drink Shiner just b/c it's fairly inexpensive and easy to find around here, but it still has the flavor that American X-brand or X-brand lite lack. I really like Newcastle as well (in fact, I once spent the night under the bridge that's in the blue star on the logo) and Candian beers. They make good beer in Canada. It's too bad their cigarettes suck ass. Oh, and in college, Jagermeister got me in a lot of trouble b/c we drank it like it was going out of style.

posted by Ufez Jones at 03:30 PM on January 26, 2003


posted by StarFucker at 05:18 PM on January 26, 2003

I like tea, too. All the stuff you named, plus Vietnamese and Thai iced teas (with that sweet condensed milk), and chai. Yummy. And, whoa, it looks like you keep your liver busy. Q9. What about the rest of you? What do you look like? (This is, obviously, for the ladies.)

posted by worldcup2002 at 11:13 PM on January 26, 2003

And, whoa, it looks like you keep your liver busy not so much anymore. having a real job kind of hinders that a bit. What do I look like? I'm 6'3", about 180. That's down from my college-time peak of 235(!). Go figure. And I have a beard. Half b/c I'm lazy, and half to cover my ugly mug. Or here, from a Metafilter Meetup in Dallas back in August. I'm the tall guy in back wearing the Welsh soccer jersey.

posted by Ufez Jones at 11:52 PM on January 26, 2003

A strapping young lad, as they say in the old country. Nice pic. Q10. To round off the interview, tell us how you found out about SpoFi. What made you join and what keeps you coming back?

posted by worldcup2002 at 10:38 AM on January 27, 2003

I first heard of SpoFi over on metafilter right about the time that it started. i thought it was a bit silly at first, so I poked around for about a week or so and really liked it. So that's when I joined. I keep coming back for a variety of reasons. It's a nice, small community which is kind of endearing. Plus, as I mentioned before, I don't have TV, so it's kind of my SportsCenter. I really enjoy the EPL and other European league posts (though I rarely comment in them due to ignorance) since those aren't covered very well around here. The thread that explained some of the various tournaments in the UK and Europe was great and informative. I like the quirky links, the shit-talking debate links, and the "what the hell was that?" links. Plus, it's another place to piddle around at during work. Always a good thing.

posted by Ufez Jones at 12:37 PM on January 27, 2003

Ewww, he used the word "endearing"...

posted by StarFucker at 03:10 PM on January 27, 2003

Thanks, Ufez for taking the time to let us learn a little more about you. Hope to see you next season in the EPL fantasy league.

posted by worldcup2002 at 10:15 PM on January 27, 2003

hey, no prob. I enjoyed my 15 minutes. Now, when do we get to turn the mic on you, wc2k2? Can you be questioned as well?

posted by Ufez Jones at 10:33 PM on January 27, 2003

I feel weird about this, but OK. I'll play along.

posted by worldcup2002 at 01:16 AM on January 28, 2003

Wait, before you go Ufez, I was wondering if you've quit beating your dog?

posted by vito90 at 09:00 AM on January 28, 2003

I was wondering if you've quit beating your dog? I couldn't be more confused or frightened.

posted by Ufez Jones at 09:06 AM on January 28, 2003

You know. Just trying to be funny? Like the unanswerable Have you quit beating your wife yet? But beating a wife is really very unfunny, and beating a dog just marginally unfunny and slightly just barely less offensive? So me comedy not so good today. Carry on.

posted by vito90 at 11:24 AM on January 28, 2003

Oh, ok. Then yes, I've stopped. I read that and just thought "Oh, shit, what have I said or implied in the past that would trigger that kind of thought?" Kind of scary since I'm totally a dog lover.

posted by Ufez Jones at 11:33 AM on January 28, 2003

vito90 is having interview flashbacks.

posted by worldcup2002 at 11:53 AM on January 28, 2003

heh heh. are you ready worldcup?

posted by Ufez Jones at 12:03 PM on January 28, 2003

i don't like it when it's not all about me. say it with me. mememememememe

posted by vito90 at 12:25 PM on January 28, 2003

Hmm, maybe we can do a Behind the Vito90 part II. Where are they now, a full two weeks later?

posted by Ufez Jones at 12:45 PM on January 28, 2003

I hate dogs...

posted by StarFucker at 02:36 PM on January 28, 2003

<real world intro> find out what happens when three interviewees, picked to live in a thread, stop being polite... </real world intro>

posted by pfuller at 03:19 PM on January 28, 2003

heh heh. are you ready worldcup? Ufez: Bring it on.

posted by worldcup2002 at 04:01 PM on January 28, 2003

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